Newby here. Just found this forum after searching for answers to questions that have been dwelling since my trips. Have been trying to make sense of it for a year but I've come to the conclusion that i just can't grasp wtf happened in my mind. Maybe y'all can show me the way
I've tripped 3 times. All of the times I've taken 2 chocolates of which supposedly each had 2g worth.
First time was wonderful. In a park, totally stress free, my mind was ready for anything. It went amazing, giggles, traces, ecstasy. Towards the end, i began to reflect on the trip and how absolutely amazing I felt and thought. At times it felt like Me and fellow trippers were having conversations with each other without speaking a word, soon as I felt that, as if on cue, everyone else did too. I thought this was the key to life. But then I took a 2nd take and asked myself how the hell a mushroom can make me feel this way. My mind was shattered, I continuously questioned myself. That was my first meeting. I later realized what it meant to go along for the ride
2nd time around, it was kind if spur of the moment, but I went with it, this time in my buddy's apartment. Started off good, then went too strong. I felt confined in the environment and also in my head. My friend became a prophet, endlessly spewing out his thoughts to others. At first it was cool, it soon became too intense with too many new thoughts and questions. I had to close my eyes. I laid on the couch, went into the rabbit hole. And before I knew it, my buddy was extracting thoughts from my head, so it seemed. At the time it was very disturbing and it felt so real, I felt betrayed and abducted. I got myself out, smoked a bowl. But I couldn't stay up as my buddy kept spewing out "the future". I imagined it so well that I, once again, thought that he was stealing the thoughts from my brain. I felt sort of brainwashed once I grasped some sense of reality again. Can't make anything from this still.
3rd time started off strong At the park, but took a horrible turn when we got kicked out, unexpectedly, because it was closing. I was peaking during this time, and it was to be my first time getting in a car while tripping. It was horrible, could not stand it, extreme paranoia, over stimulation of the senses, I just wanted to chill. Suddenly I wanted to go home, now. I was about to jump out of the car, I contemplated it about 5 times, very very seriously for a split second. Then it starts pouring rain, hard. I can't see shit out the window, we are going 5mph, completely lost, I want to go home and hug my mom (never gotten such a strong urge) and go back in the womb. The rain stops, I tell my friend driving to pull over now. He pulls over into a parking lot, I get out, and sprint for my life. I soon get tired, realize I'm not getting anywhere, and my buddy calls me back into reality. I go back feeling like I've outrun the devil. But the rest of the trip is still tainted.
All in all, shroom has showed me a lot, and I want to go there again, but I could use some help to make it a better experience and get more out of it.
Firstly, what was with the conversations with fellow trippers on other dimensions? It felt so real- an amazing interconnectedness during my first trip, but the 2nd trip, this feeling turned sour. It felt as if they could see what I was thinking, seeing, and even extracting directly from my mind, I would say almost possessing me. (Note: When this happened, I had smoked, could the pipe be the culprit?) Secondly, during a state of total panic and darkness, how do you bring yourself back when everyone else is tripping just as hard? Does this become easier with more experience? Lastly, does anybody get an alcohol buzz going before/during trip?
Thanks for your time brothers and sisters!
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