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Shop: Kraken Kratom Red Vein Kratom   Unfolding Nature Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order

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Invisibleredgreenvines
irregular verb
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Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 37,534
Re: The Fall [Re: LunarEclipse]
    #19362734 - 01/03/14 10:28 AM (10 years, 28 days ago)

what - she's like 14&1/2
cute tho'


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:confused: _ :brainfart:🧠  _ :finger:


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InvisibleRahz
Alive Again
Male


Registered: 11/10/05
Posts: 9,230
Re: The Fall [Re: quinn]
    #19363681 - 01/03/14 02:34 PM (10 years, 27 days ago)

Quote:

quinn said:
i personally do have this kind of interpretation going.. i viewed my childhood as a very happy time and saw myself as a good person who was full of confidence and talked a lot.

around adolescence i got pretty messed up and amongst other things i broke up with my best mate, got mildly teased and my penis 'didnt work' which left me furiously trying to masturbate for many years and for a brief period when i was 16 i suspected i was the messiah (because they dont reproduce, obviously)

it is a weird thing that chastity and moral purity shit christians got going.

anywhoo from roughly that adolescent point i had trouble socializing and withdrew heavily, i also cultivated certain negative thoughts and habits and become introverted and non-communicative.

it can definately be seen as a fall imo...

interestingly several members on my mum's side had similar reactions to growing up so it could be genetic disposition as well as family outlook playing into it.

:cookiemonster:




I think religion is a sign of a troubled mind, which puts most of the world in your fallen camp. At least that's the Monotheistic viewpoint. If there is any point in chastity and other moral convictions it points towards an experiment we're conducting within our minds... which is really the point of the 'fallen' state of mind and being at odds with it. I would urge you to reconsider how you interpret these changes you have experienced, or rather not be so quick to characterize it with a defining word. It is a mystery you have discovered. For a child that had a reasonably decent childhood there is a blissful ignorance that can persist for a decade or two. All of the changes during that time can be seen as positive, physically growing up, gaining more awareness and understanding of the world, and then at some point things take a turn. The world is not what it was imagined to be and it (and the self) become a mystery. The cognitive dissonance has to be dealt with before the mystery can even be taken seriously (and not so seriously).

I remember at the age of 6 I was at the county fair walking with my mother and we passed a couple kids, probably 13-14 years old. One of them had a paper roll that extended with a flick of the wrist and he amused himself by flicking it in my direction. It came within a couple inches of my face and shocked me. My mother got angry. The kids laughed. My mother said a few words and we walked on. I remember wanting those kids to die, both for upsetting me and my mother and for making it apparent that I was helpless in a manner of speaking, having another person (my mother no less) stand up for me. I was also completely confused why someone would do something like that to someone who had shown them no offence to begin with. I questioned (maybe not at the age of 7) where such offenses might begin. After all, if they were taking out a past aggression on me, where did that start? There was no answer. There still isn't though I suspect it's in our nature, a genetic disposition which developed long before humans did.

But from an experiential viewpoint the origin isn't important. How we learn to deal with our tendencies as they are revealed to us is the more pertinent work.

Not to say 'fallen' isn't the intuitive viewpoint, but to see that it was already in the cards, to see it's something to learn about and deal with rather than something to be shunned, discarded, or magically redeemed from, seems the better way of dealing with it. Don't spend all your time looking directly at the suffering (apparent content). The stillness remains and the context could be more valuable.


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rahz

comfort pleasure power love truth awareness peace


"You’re not looking close enough if you can only see yourself in people who look like you." β€”Ayishat Akanbi


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InvisibleLunarEclipse
Enlil's Official Story
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Registered: 10/31/04
Posts: 21,407
Loc: Building 7
Re: The Fall [Re: redgreenvines]
    #19363940 - 01/03/14 03:32 PM (10 years, 27 days ago)

Quote:

redgreenvines said:
what - she's like 14&1/2
cute tho'




nah she's maybe 15 3/4


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Anxiety is what you make it.


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InvisibleJack yo Self foo
The Artful Dodger
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Registered: 06/28/08
Posts: 3,096
Loc: Where the red fern grows....
Re: The Fall [Re: LunarEclipse]
    #19365428 - 01/03/14 07:53 PM (10 years, 27 days ago)

I think I've been up and down for as long as I can remember. It takes alot to be able to step back and assess the aftermath, or how you adapted/ changed in accordance to your surroundings.

I've gone from one end of the spectrum to the other; although, I am not too proud to admit it and I'd do it all the same again...and I probably will

I think I took this in a different direction than intended...


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You learn something new everyday, so be sure you learn something from it.


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InvisibleRaven Gnosis
π”°π”’π”―π”­π”’π”«π”±π”¦π” π”¦π”‘π”ž
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Registered: 02/10/11
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Re: The Fall [Re: quinn]
    #19366803 - 01/04/14 03:56 AM (10 years, 27 days ago)

As soon as I was old enough to begin expressing myself I started having trouble.
Bottom line is, I disturbed people. Nothing too radically out of the ordinary, I just showed natural resistance to BS and was alienated, ostracized and demonized from a very young age because of it. I said things and asked things that very young children 'shouldn't' and didn't take orders without good reason.

For as long as I can remember, this caused issues for me. I was treated like I was sick, labeled with utter bullshit like oppositional defiant disorder and ADHD and medicated.
All because I had a powerfully curious and independent mind as a very young child. I was in essence taught that who and how I was by my very nature was wrong.
(I struggled a lot with self love and anxiety/anger issues in my pre and mid teen years for this reason.)

For this very reason, I feel like I have been one of the fallen, one of the outcasted since I was a very young boy and have identified with figures like Lucifer since my early years.
It doesn't help any that people have called me the devil on several occasions, not for anything sincerely wicked, but for how I challenge their paradigm and at times disturb them through my very being...


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To be human is to be fettered, to endure what one is, in perpetuum, no matter what the debility or perversity.


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InvisibleLunarEclipse
Enlil's Official Story
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Re: The Fall [Re: Raven Gnosis]
    #19366948 - 01/04/14 05:37 AM (10 years, 27 days ago)

I fight authority.  This didn't work in school order must be maintained.  Pay Attention!  This didn't work at the job the boss said You're Fired!  Didn't work in court judge said Pay Your Fine!  Don't make me cite you for Contempt of Court!

The funny part is that courts, lawyers and judges are largely for profit privately owned ventures with huge slush accounts from money stolen the public.  Follow The Money!  That's the only thing authority fears, is to look into their shit.  That's when lots of folks have taken falls, for reals.



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Anxiety is what you make it.


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InvisibleIcelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery
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Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
Re: The Fall [Re: Raven Gnosis]
    #19367207 - 01/04/14 08:24 AM (10 years, 27 days ago)

:satansmoking: Welcome to the family.  It's a good one to be in. :heart:


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"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC


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Invisibleliquidlounge

Registered: 12/22/10
Posts: 9,256
Re: The Fall [Re: Raven Gnosis]
    #19367371 - 01/04/14 09:41 AM (10 years, 27 days ago)

Tough love Raven.


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As far as I assume to know...


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InvisibleLunarEclipse
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Re: The Fall [Re: liquidlounge]
    #19367615 - 01/04/14 10:59 AM (10 years, 27 days ago)

Seriously, she's 19.



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Anxiety is what you make it.


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Invisiblecez
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Registered: 08/04/09
Posts: 5,854
Re: The Fall [Re: quinn]
    #19367629 - 01/04/14 11:05 AM (10 years, 27 days ago)

The moment I fell out of my mother's vagina I was lost.


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InvisibleLunarEclipse
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Re: The Fall [Re: cez]
    #19367634 - 01/04/14 11:07 AM (10 years, 27 days ago)

Quote:

cez said:
The moment I fell out of my mother's vagina I was lost.




Somewhere down the line?



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Anxiety is what you make it.


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Invisibleliquidlounge

Registered: 12/22/10
Posts: 9,256
Re: The Fall [Re: LunarEclipse]
    #19367851 - 01/04/14 12:07 PM (10 years, 27 days ago)

Quote:

LunarEclipse said:
Seriously, she's 19.





I don't understand.


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InvisibleLunarEclipse
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Re: The Fall [Re: liquidlounge]
    #19368277 - 01/04/14 01:29 PM (10 years, 27 days ago)

Only you woul
Quote:

liquidlounge said:
Quote:

LunarEclipse said:
Seriously, she's 19.





I don't understand.




Figures, only you wouldn't get that one.

Here - 1:19, 2:19, and 3:19



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Anxiety is what you make it.


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Invisibleliquidlounge

Registered: 12/22/10
Posts: 9,256
Re: The Fall [Re: LunarEclipse]
    #19368866 - 01/04/14 03:36 PM (10 years, 26 days ago)

Does she like to boogie?



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Invisiblequinn
some kinda love
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Registered: 01/02/10
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Re: The Fall [Re: Rahz]
    #19370274 - 01/04/14 09:00 PM (10 years, 26 days ago)

thoughtful post as always Rahz :thumbup:.. but i want magical redemption :hissyfit:


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dripping with fantasy


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Shop: Kraken Kratom Red Vein Kratom   Unfolding Nature Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order


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