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teamkiller
ghetto drama whore



Registered: 06/06/11
Posts: 8,806
Last seen: 14 days, 17 hours
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Best craigslist ad i've ever seen
#19349614 - 12/31/13 01:52 AM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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fucking brand new, hot off the presses: http://denver.craigslist.org/tlg/4265851346.html
Quote:
So here's the situation...
I'm 46, 6-3, 275. I believe in 90 days I can be down to 215, but i,need very specific help.
Here's my daring plan:
I move in with someone (you?) for 90 days. I have no,clothes, I am nude with no way to leave the house. I pay you $2000 a month plus my food, that you regulate to 1000 calories a day. Plus a $1000 bonus if I got to 205. All my stuff is in storage, you can have use of my car. I will be your virtual maid, I can do all chores including vacuum, laundry, kitchen duties, toilet cleaning, etc.. I know I would thrive on the situation ad lose lots of weight. I would need a strong minded person or couple., but I am very obedient and will do as told. I would serve any inclinations, a guy, a gal, a couple, gay straight, whatever. In case you think this is some weird sex thing, NO. I am fine just being a platonic servant, how ever I would do whatever I am told, even if it's for your entertainment. After all, I would be completely dependent on you.
This is sincere and serious. If you're interested, please write and let's discuss.
--------------------
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Hobozen

Registered: 11/03/11
Posts: 10,634
Loc:
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Re: Best craigslist ad i've ever seen [Re: teamkiller]
#19349620 - 12/31/13 01:54 AM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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he lives in wheat ridge
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underfliptown
I suck and you should kill me


Registered: 03/07/11
Posts: 14,344
Last seen: 8 years, 6 months
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Re: Best craigslist ad i've ever seen [Re: Hobozen] 2
#19349627 - 12/31/13 01:56 AM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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That is DEFINITELY some weird sex thing
We should all troll him and post the replies
Edited by underfliptown (12/31/13 01:57 AM)
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mushroom_sandwich
semi retarded



Registered: 04/17/12
Posts: 2,803
Last seen: 8 years, 15 days
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Re: Best craigslist ad i've ever seen [Re: underfliptown]
#19349674 - 12/31/13 02:16 AM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
I move in with someone (you?) for 90 days
I don't know why that made me laugh so hard
-------------------- “I believe in a long, prolonged derangement of the senses to attain the unknown. Our pale reasoning hides the infinite from us."
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TrentBoyett
Aspiring Mycologist



Registered: 11/29/12
Posts: 16,000
Loc: Kazakhstan
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Re: Best craigslist ad i've ever seen [Re: teamkiller]
#19349681 - 12/31/13 02:23 AM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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I don't find this all that funny, there are definitely a lot of better ones.
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DebuteMachine

Registered: 09/29/06
Posts: 6,457
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Re: Best craigslist ad i've ever seen [Re: TrentBoyett]
#19349689 - 12/31/13 02:28 AM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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2 grand for 90 days it's roughly $22.23, the bonus he mentioned would be $33.34 a day, fuck that.
I can't be assed to put up with someone's shit for 90 days @ 20-30 a day.
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Enjoywho
Rags to Bitches



Registered: 07/06/09
Posts: 20,880
Last seen: 2 years, 7 months
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Re: Best craigslist ad i've ever seen [Re: DebuteMachine]
#19349698 - 12/31/13 02:32 AM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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I dunno seems like a pretty good deal. If I had a downstairs to rent out I'd definitely cook him his 1000 calories and kick his ass down the stairs for 2k a month.
-------------------- "I don't give nothin' to nobody, I just pay the cost to do business." - Riley "Young Reezy"-Boondocks "The road to hell is paved with good intentions." "In the days of kings and queens I was a jester." "And then the great lord created bears... too many bears... shoulda really dialed back on the bears." Squidbillies "Can you start speaking words instead of your damn filthy lies!"- Louise "Bobs Burgers"
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mushroom_sandwich
semi retarded



Registered: 04/17/12
Posts: 2,803
Last seen: 8 years, 15 days
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Re: Best craigslist ad i've ever seen [Re: TrentBoyett]
#19349701 - 12/31/13 02:35 AM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
TrentBoyett said: I don't find this all that funny, there are definitely a lot of better ones.
so post them then.
-------------------- “I believe in a long, prolonged derangement of the senses to attain the unknown. Our pale reasoning hides the infinite from us."
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TrentBoyett
Aspiring Mycologist



Registered: 11/29/12
Posts: 16,000
Loc: Kazakhstan
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Quote:
mushroom_sandwich said:
Quote:
TrentBoyett said: I don't find this all that funny, there are definitely a lot of better ones.
so post them then. 
I was really just posting because op has me ignored, but okay...
HERE YA GO
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mushroom_sandwich
semi retarded



Registered: 04/17/12
Posts: 2,803
Last seen: 8 years, 15 days
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Re: Best craigslist ad i've ever seen [Re: TrentBoyett]
#19349724 - 12/31/13 02:46 AM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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-------------------- “I believe in a long, prolonged derangement of the senses to attain the unknown. Our pale reasoning hides the infinite from us."
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thelanzii

Registered: 11/13/12
Posts: 5,434
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the ones asking for drugs always give me a chuckle
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tripp23
Kratom Freak



Registered: 05/21/08
Posts: 4,030
Loc: Florida, US
Last seen: 1 year, 3 months
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Re: Best craigslist ad i've ever seen [Re: TrentBoyett]
#19349731 - 12/31/13 02:48 AM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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if his price was 60,000 id do it in a heartbeat. i dont think anybodys gonna do it for 20$ a day sketchy but not so sketchy
-------------------- Experience my nightmarish first time of smoking Ganja!

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TrentBoyett
Aspiring Mycologist



Registered: 11/29/12
Posts: 16,000
Loc: Kazakhstan
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Re: Best craigslist ad i've ever seen [Re: tripp23]
#19349739 - 12/31/13 02:52 AM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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$2,000 a monthe is not `$20 a day, it's more like $66...
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TopPmz
<No Title>


Registered: 01/13/13
Posts: 2,615
Loc: FL
Last seen: 1 year, 6 months
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Quote:
mushroom_sandwich said:
Quote:
I move in with someone (you?) for 90 days
I don't know why that made me laugh so hard
It did me, too. Lol
-------------------- "Freedom Isn't Free" is only half correct. True freedom doesn't exist in the society we exist in. What the saying really means is "The Illusion of Freedom Isn't Free"
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drkkenny
Explorer

Registered: 10/13/11
Posts: 1,440
Loc: Down a well
Last seen: 5 years, 9 months
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Re: Best craigslist ad i've ever seen [Re: teamkiller]
#19349749 - 12/31/13 03:00 AM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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--------------------
No More Stories Are Told Today, I'm Sorry They Washed Away // No More Stories, The World Is Grey, I'm Tired, Let's Wash Away. God 2 read 10932148 Unread messages
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Hobozen

Registered: 11/03/11
Posts: 10,634
Loc:
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Re: Best craigslist ad i've ever seen [Re: drkkenny]
#19349757 - 12/31/13 03:03 AM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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is that you in the bunny suit?
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rulesq
Bad Mogambo



Registered: 05/10/13
Posts: 5,317
Loc: Суомалиа
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Re: Best craigslist ad i've ever seen [Re: Hobozen]
#19349761 - 12/31/13 03:06 AM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
blankk said: is that you in the bunny suit?
Suddenly it all makes sense 
Assuming it's him
--------------------
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TrentBoyett
Aspiring Mycologist



Registered: 11/29/12
Posts: 16,000
Loc: Kazakhstan
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Re: Best craigslist ad i've ever seen [Re: drkkenny]
#19349764 - 12/31/13 03:08 AM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
drkkenny said:

Dat shit was cray cray.
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rulesq
Bad Mogambo



Registered: 05/10/13
Posts: 5,317
Loc: Суомалиа
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Re: Best craigslist ad i've ever seen [Re: TrentBoyett]
#19349766 - 12/31/13 03:09 AM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
TrentBoyett said:
Quote:
drkkenny said:

Dat shit was cray cray.
--------------------
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drkkenny
Explorer

Registered: 10/13/11
Posts: 1,440
Loc: Down a well
Last seen: 5 years, 9 months
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Re: Best craigslist ad i've ever seen [Re: Hobozen]
#19349784 - 12/31/13 03:19 AM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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--------------------
No More Stories Are Told Today, I'm Sorry They Washed Away // No More Stories, The World Is Grey, I'm Tired, Let's Wash Away. God 2 read 10932148 Unread messages
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