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greenery1
Stranger

Registered: 06/11/13
Posts: 179
Last seen: 1 year, 1 month
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Trip #3 - the doors of perception
#19347668 - 12/30/13 06:04 PM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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Took 2gs GT as gel caps, very calm and nice steady up, I was lucid for the first 2.5 hours, no colors, no hallucinations, so I then decided to get out of my room and went for a walk in the park.
On the way out of my condo I checked my mail and found I had a Xmas card from my mother. For whatever reason, I found myself breaking down into tears walking around outside. I became very emotional thinking about my mother et all. I got on skype on my phone and my mother was online so chatted and that was nice before the new year tomorrow.
Now I just say all this as a lead in to the real meat of the trip. I went back into my condo, sat down and closed my eyes and started seeing things. A doorway had opened in my minds eye, in that dark blank head space.
So I smoked some very strong cerebral sativa and was blasted into the very first full on 'Super Mario Brothers' mind candy psychedelic trip.
It's very long so will try to condense what I can recall.
I entered the house of my mind, my own spirit said 'this is where I live', and oh what a house, I can't recall what I saw but it was out of this world, literally! Trippy to say the least.
At one point we went through some sort of exchange for a long time before it showed me that we were one and the same person. I thought that people who do not know who they 'really' are, are like Gollum in Lord of the Rings, driven by desire and belief, lost in self delusion.
I'm skipping out things, but at one point I saw how the Lord of the Rings, like Dante's purgatory, is a journey through the Dark night of the Soul, a journey to give up, surrender, and destroy the ego, that which keeps us in darkness, duality, clinging to life.
Another point I went through a birth, cried, wailed, sobbed out loud like a baby, when it subsided, I saw white light at the top of my head as though I was moving up through the channel between life and death.
Later, I felt energy move into my root chakra, and legs. I have bad chronic pain, and my legs were the next 'problem' area I was hoping something would happen. It did.
A lot of fresh energy moved into my legs, and I could really feel the deep tension in my legs and body was all connected to a fear of losing my mother. I was shown a beautiful morphological thrown, a place for my mother when she dies, I cried so much and yelled 'no, I wont let her go'! It was something deep inside my being which I have never seen before, a fear of death, but also the fear of my mothers death.
I think the mushroom was trying to open me, and this was a place that I wouldn't let go of, and became extremely defensive of, crying, and yelling, so I wonder if this might have been more about the loss of my own identity. While I saw my mother as the subject, I also saw that it was mother earth, the divine spirit of creation, Gaia, etc, and that this in fact could never die.
I felt so 'at home' in there, inside, I felt that I had finally found 'myself', I should say that the visuals were mind blowing, very intense, weird, trippy.
I found myself reacting to things I saw, and kept saying to myself, "don't react, just observe, just watch." I don't know why I said this, but I said many things as though it was not 'me' speaking but rather someone speaking through me. I was also aware that they were one and the same, no 'me' was actually present.
Parts of the trip seemed mythic, the dark night of the soul, then a touch of Oedipus, as I contemplated going back to live with my mother, I felt well she loves me more than any one ever will (most likely..) and in this 'enlightened' state what really would be so bad about that? (Nothing could be further from my thoughts than this, now, in my 'sober' state).
I think the trip was about my mother, my relation with her, about healing and feeling buried pain, re-owning my body, of extracting feelings that had become toxic and harmful to my well being and peace of mind. It was all lower body stuff - legs and hips - that was the focus, releasing deep psychic tension lodged there.
So I had about another gram of fresh mushrooms that I wanted to take, I wanted to go further and see what this was all about. I picked one, then became totally entranced by the other one, it was so beautiful, (my precious??), I started to trip off looking at it, and how the vermiculite had all turned to gold, aha golden teachers!

I sat down and entered a strange calm space, peaceful and quiet, I have never taken LSD, but I wondered if this might be similar for some reason.
As I stared at the mushroom before me on the table, seeing it in what felt like a heightened level of clarity, it all of a sudden became even clearer, it was as if the 'doors of perception' were unveiled before me, and I finally understood what that really meant. Seeing things for what they are, I was as much an object as it, as though we were in the same space, no 'veil of perception' between us, a 'state of non-perception', it was stark and very sharply defined, I have never seen with such clarity before.
By this time, I reluctantly decided to hold off on adding any more rocket fuel to this already very intense journey (through the dark night of the soul). I was coming down ever so slowly, and now still feel pretty shell shocked almost exactly 12 hours after I started.
Thanks for reading, so hard to really do it justice in words, any thoughts would be appreciated!
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redgreenvines
irregular verb


Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 37,534
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Re: Trip #3 - the doors of perception [Re: greenery1]
#19348938 - 12/30/13 10:28 PM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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cool trip. your trip. neither different from lsd nor alike to it - each one is unique.
beautiful shroom pic
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greenery1
Stranger

Registered: 06/11/13
Posts: 179
Last seen: 1 year, 1 month
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Re: Trip #3 - the doors of perception [Re: redgreenvines]
#19351742 - 12/31/13 04:14 PM (10 years, 30 days ago) |
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Something else that came back to me today, was how I seemed to move through the chakras, starting with the first as I already mentioned above.
I seem to recall moving through the second, and each one that I went into opened into a trippy visual drama and story and emotion - crying, wailing sometimes - but when it subsided, and I came back to the body, I would then again feel the related chakra, cleansed, open, with a glow, warmth, and light, a renewed energy flowed through it.
I did arrive at the crown chakra, it seems that the intermediary chakras were skipped maybe.
Residing in the white light and spiritual radiance of the crown chakra, I felt the need to be completely transparent about who I am, be completely open about everything in my life, to keep no secrets, no lies, to harbor nothing, to be completely honest, to be become this pure open radiance that I was experiencing at that moment, 'be a beacon of light' I remember saying, which seemed very true and profound (as corny as it sounds in retrospect).
I have had several crisis in the last 10 years where I have wanted to do this, sometimes after seeing a movie that would awaken some deeper sence of truth and justice, I would go home and start throwing things out, vow to make changes etc....then within a few days falling back into old habits, and personal weaknesses.
I wonder how others have managed to make significant life changes due to using the mushroom, that really must be a big part of taking them in the first place.
The need to become transparent to the world seemed to be one of the lessons I was shown during the trip.
Maybe just simple things to start with, like getting rid of things, accumulated junk, anything that does not serve to sustain our physical, mental, and spiritual health, and that of others.
How do others view this?
Edited by greenery1 (12/31/13 04:19 PM)
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greenery1
Stranger

Registered: 06/11/13
Posts: 179
Last seen: 1 year, 1 month
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Re: Trip #3 - the doors of perception [Re: greenery1]
#19351780 - 12/31/13 04:26 PM (10 years, 30 days ago) |
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BTW, the pic of the mushroom above is from the third flush, its the only one that looked like that, that beautiful candy dark glossy nipple like freshness, the others were all white, light brown, and dry'ish. What's up there?
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Jesus Christ
Savior


Registered: 10/11/13
Posts: 651
Last seen: 2 years, 5 months
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Re: Trip #3 - the doors of perception [Re: greenery1]
#19351955 - 12/31/13 05:13 PM (10 years, 30 days ago) |
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i really like that second pic.
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greenery1
Stranger

Registered: 06/11/13
Posts: 179
Last seen: 1 year, 1 month
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Re: Trip #3 - the doors of perception [Re: Jesus Christ]
#19378829 - 01/06/14 07:11 PM (10 years, 24 days ago) |
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I had a very powerful and profound energetic/spiritual awakening yesterday morning. No drugs.
During this time I had many realizations, some of which were about what the mushroom had shown me the previous week.
What had seemed like fairly banal platitudes after the mushroom trip now were coming into actualization of the present moment.
Things such as comparisons that the mushroom had shown me to events in the movie Lord of the Rings, I suddenly now saw were quite simply the mushroom using something in my unconscious to show me a truth which is in fact present but which I do not 'see.'
Yesterday morning, the energy that awakened became more over powering than my 'egoic' self, my third eye was open and also the crown chakra. My root chakra was very stable and the muscles in my legs were more relaxed. I was able to go very deeply into technical issues while playing piano and had an absolutely supreme control over my playing.
I felt connected to the plane of music and I was playing from my being, 'it' was playing, the body facilitated that in an effortless way.
Tension dissolved throughout the body. I saw how there was no 'muscle memory,' a complete misnomer, the muscles remember nothing, only spirit 'plays'.
When not playing in this way, then yes what the body remembers is a complex inter-relationship of muscular tension, which is entirely wrong and a source cause for not feeling 'connected' to the instrument.
I felt as though I had transcended the self and merged with the presence of being, I saw how they are one in the same, but I was acting from that background presence which is always present, it was now foregrounded, and profoundly creative and really very cool...
This is just a snap shot, it went on for hours with many beautiful revelations, and I still feel it now, but not as intensely.
The mushroom certainly did something to allow this to happen.
Karma became an illusion of over identification with the body, and the utterly irrational system of neurotic induced tension and anxiety that we maintain and propagate, the hopes and fears, the un/happiness lodged in the body, dependent on the blind duality of cause and effect.
It all vanished, 'I' felt slightly dis-embodied, yet more 'present' than I have felt for a very long time.
While on the mushroom last week I remember how the soap bottles in the bathroom showed me the clarity of their presence, what 'is', in a state of non-perception.
Depression seemes like an insidious form of blindness to this simple fact, the actuality of what is and always will be present.
And so on...
Edited by greenery1 (01/06/14 09:00 PM)
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