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Anonymous #1

parents and depression
    #19346990 - 12/30/13 04:06 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

i told my dad i had been feeling depressed but didnt want to get him involved because of what happened today i think i have BPD or a split personality

so i went on a psychotic walk to town along a main road 3 days ago (totally sober) and well he asked me if i was on any drugs because ive had a drinking problem for a while now about the same time as my depressed states had happened as a way of dulling the pain.

anyway he is really concerned and started drinking a lot more than he normally does as soon as i told him what are the usual stages of parents when you tell them you might have mental problems.

he also said he would pay for therapy and things which is good but i really think he is over reacting a lot it might be that he is my dad and cares to much about me.


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Anonymous #2

Re: parents and depression [Re: Anonymous #1] * 3
    #19347253 - 12/30/13 04:47 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Your dad isn't overreacting, you have a good dad that cares and is being supportive.  Make sure you thank him and tell him how much you appreciate everything  he is doing for you.


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OfflineMoxyOx
Grazin'

Registered: 10/08/10
Posts: 1,439
Loc: Flag
Last seen: 1 month, 20 days
Re: parents and depression [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #19348105 - 12/30/13 07:28 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

They're all just labels my friend. Tomorrow you will be you and you will be stuck in the same life you have always been stuck in. You can either change it, or keep festering in it. All up to you mate. The internet cannot help you on this.


--------------------
No one behind, no one ahead.
The path the ancients cleared has closed.
And the other path, everyone's path,
easy and wide, goes nowhere.
I am alone and find my way.


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OfflineTycoda
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Registered: 12/23/13
Posts: 108
Last seen: 7 years, 11 months
Re: parents and depression [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #19355214 - 01/01/14 03:50 PM (10 years, 29 days ago)

the only word of advice i can give you is never define yourself as a BPD sufferer. it is intensely unhelpful, and it will trap you in a mental prison.

only seek to identify the trouble inside of you, so you can work to resolve it. everybody always has agency and freedom to resolve their inner conflicts, but labelling them with societies definitions makes it too big of a challenge, since it then becomes an impossible battle against yourself as you try to live down your mental diagnosis so that you can one day say definitively, "I do not have BPD anymore." Really, it needs to be a matter of identifying your own unique obstacles so that you can work to overcome them individually, because as you make progress, it is more reasonable and affirming to say, "I still have some obstacles, but now I can trust again." or "I am not where i want to be yet, but now i can speak my own voice." and so on and so on until you can look back and, as an afterthought, say, "Wow, i guess i don't fit the criteria for BPD anymore!"


Edited by Tycoda (01/01/14 10:22 PM)


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OfflineTycoda
Stranger
Registered: 12/23/13
Posts: 108
Last seen: 7 years, 11 months
Re: parents and depression [Re: Tycoda]
    #19355224 - 01/01/14 03:52 PM (10 years, 29 days ago)

so to reiterate quickly, never be satisfied with saying "i have borderline personality disorder". look past the label at what individual components actually stand in the way of your happiness, and then work to overcome them that way, bit by bit.


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Anonymous #3

Re: parents and depression [Re: Tycoda]
    #19356395 - 01/01/14 10:09 PM (10 years, 29 days ago)

Therapy has a more capable effect if the participant is willing. At least you have your father there in case you feel that you need help some day. Just be safe.

:thumbup:


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OfflineTycoda
Stranger
Registered: 12/23/13
Posts: 108
Last seen: 7 years, 11 months
Re: parents and depression [Re: Anonymous #3]
    #19356402 - 01/01/14 10:16 PM (10 years, 29 days ago)

yeah i concur. Love comin at ya from here in cambridge, ontario (not the mushy, goo-goo-eyes kind).


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OfflineDarwin23
INFJ
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Registered: 10/08/10
Posts: 3,277
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Re: parents and depression [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #19394496 - 01/09/14 04:31 PM (10 years, 21 days ago)

My mom almost always made me feel worse during my darkest times. At 15 or 16 I told her I was struggling to appreciate life and didn't see the point in anything. She told me to kill myself if I thought life was meaningless. Over spring semester in school, I fucked up and missed a final having the wrong date. It would be my second class I failed that semester (REALLLY bad for me.) I felt like killing myself. She was being really angry about it and I told her I wanted to kill myself. She says "How come you look like you're on something?" I pleaded with her to know that I didn't take anything, that I hadn't taken anything for a long time. She took an old application I had to the therapist though.

You just want your parents to say "I'm sorry you're doing so badly. You're going to get through this and everything will be better." I think a lot of people like my mom and your dad don't know how to do that so they show their love in ways that seems harsh.

I hope you do better, friend.


--------------------

Take a look at my journal


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