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OfflineIISkuNkII
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Friends with benefits a good thing
    #19346354 - 12/30/13 01:41 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

What is your take on friends with benefits?
Good? Bad?
Personally y I don't think it's good mentally for the person but I guess everybody is different.
I just got out of a relationship today actually.We had broken up about like a month ago actually but remained Friends with benefits.But I gotta be honest.It wasn't benefiting me at all.I don't know why they call it friends with benefits if only one person is benefiting from it.I should just stick to escorts and hookers I guess.But that's the thing I am not a horny beast that will just stick it in just about anything.I have to have a connection.I wish I could just sex up anything that walks but I can't.:frown:


Edited by IISkuNkII (12/30/13 01:48 PM)


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OfflineOZA
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Re: Friends with benefits a good thing [Re: IISkuNkII] * 6
    #19346360 - 12/30/13 01:44 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Fuck friends with benefits. It's pretending the emotion isn't there, which it clearly is. That's what girlfriends ARE - friends with benefits. When I was having a mutual breakup with my ex and she said we should be friends with benefits, I just told her either we're friends or we're more, that in between shit is for high school


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OfflineAcaterpillar
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Re: Friends with benefits a good thing [Re: OZA]
    #19346379 - 12/30/13 01:47 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

I think in concept it can be a good thing. But like the above poster said, it often times doesn't work out like originally planned.

Almost always someone develops feelings for their partner, and then that person gets hurt when the feelings aren't mutually shared.

I'm sort of in that situation right now.
Friends with benefits with this one girl and I can tell she is getting attached to me on some level.

If you want to maintain it then you need to keep a certain amount of space between the two of you so the person who's getting hung up and have some time to decompress.


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OfflineMescalean
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Re: Friends with benefits a good thing [Re: OZA]
    #19346385 - 12/30/13 01:48 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Eh ive had fuck buddys work before.  Zero commitment or having to spend money for dates and shit.


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InvisibleDr.Dankhead
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Re: Friends with benefits a good thing [Re: IISkuNkII]
    #19346416 - 12/30/13 01:55 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

IISkuNkII said:
What is your take on friends with benefits?
Good? Bad?
Personally y I don't think it's good mentally for the person but I guess everybody is different.
I just got out of a relationship today actually.We had broken up about like a month ago actually but remained Friends with benefits.But I gotta be honest.It wasn't benefiting me at all.I don't know why they call it friends with benefits if only one person is benefiting from it.If any of you have been in this situation please share.





Gf for a year, broke up.. She had cravings for my wang so we got together again to fuck. Well i didn't think the shit through but meeting her was extremely awkward. We had not a clue what to talk about so we sat there for a while.. Silently.. Intel i just went over to her and kissed her.


I asked if it felt right or not, and she told me "lets just pretend we're dating again"


And we fucked,

And fucked.....

AND FUCKED.... It was good, for the moment..

Then the next day she shows up uninvited, no phone call or anything, and just hangs out in my house like we were back together, i was like what da FAQ..

I wasn't rude or mean i just asked, "what are you doing?"

Her response: what do you mean?

Me: "well what are you doing here?"

Well we DID have sex yesterday...


Me: but we DID break up last week too?

Oh fuck did that start a war.. She started freaking out getting pissed because she thought the sex was just me trying to win her back, when she was the one that suggested that we "PRETEND"

My morel to this story is that usually, when you introduce sex into a friendship, or try to relive the feelings you once had from previous sexual relations with a girl you've dated and or fucked; ...it just backfires mang.. Most the time it juuuuuusst backfires...


--------------------

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OfflineIISkuNkII
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Re: Friends with benefits a good thing [Re: Acaterpillar]
    #19346423 - 12/30/13 01:56 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Indeed.I told her  I had  felt we were more than friends.But I guess she didn't feel the same way.I'm really mad at myself now because I liked having sex with her and I know now that isn't a possibility.:thumbdown: She told me today that its gotta stop.That my feelings for her are too much.I get protective over the one I'm with.She said she would hit me up in a month.But I guess that's what they all say.I probably won't hear from her again.oh well :bearbreakdance:


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OfflineOZA
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Re: Friends with benefits a good thing [Re: IISkuNkII]
    #19346467 - 12/30/13 02:06 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

IISkuNkII said:
Indeed.I told her  I had  felt we were more than friends.But I guess she didn't feel the same way.I'm really mad at myself now because I liked having sex with her and I know now that isn't a possibility.:thumbdown: She told me today that its gotta stop.That my feelings for her are too much.I get protective over the one I'm with.She said she would hit me up in a month.But I guess that's what they all say.I probably won't hear from her again.oh well :bearbreakdance:



Gotta let that go man. Sex is awesome but it's not worth the heartache. If the affection isn't there on her end you need to be real for yourself and stop the chase. It isn't worth it


--------------------
The happiness consists in realizing that it is all a great strange dream.


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OfflineIISkuNkII
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Re: Friends with benefits a good thing [Re: OZA]
    #19346490 - 12/30/13 02:11 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

I know.It's hard sometimes..I catch myself thinking about her.I'm sure time will heal.I obviously can't make her feel the same way.I just feel used but at the same time for some strange reason I feel kinda good it's over.I'm not happy but I'm not sad either.I'm sure I'll be eating these words tomorrow.It's gonna be my first night not going to be able to get to talk to her.She changed her number yesterday and hasn't given it to me.Yesterday I kinda blew up her phone because I had confronted her on a lie she had told me.Yesterday night at like 10 she tested me telling me she was going to bed.Didn't respond until like 2 telling her good night.Not even 2 mins pass and I get a text saying goodnight I love you.I tested back ask what she was doing up.She tells me that she woke up to per.I figured she was lying then and there.Find out in the morning that she had been talking to one of her exes when she was like 15.She's 20 now I am about to be 23.I shouldn't worry about this guy because he lives in Florida and we are in Virginia.But today she came by and we talked a little and just sent going to talk for awhile.


Edited by IISkuNkII (12/30/13 02:22 PM)


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OfflineOZA
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Re: Friends with benefits a good thing [Re: IISkuNkII]
    #19346503 - 12/30/13 02:13 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Yeah, it won't happen with the snap of a finger. As slowly as it happens though and as sore as you may get during that time because you're not with her, what matters is that you do move on. You answered to yourself, you can't make her feel the same way. We've got a new year ahead, find a new girl who is worth your time.


--------------------
The happiness consists in realizing that it is all a great strange dream.


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InvisibleDr.Dankhead
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Re: Friends with benefits a good thing [Re: OZA]
    #19346518 - 12/30/13 02:16 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

OZA said:
Yeah, it won't happen with the snap of a finger. As slowly as it happens though and as sore as you may get during that time because you're not with her, what matters is that you do move on. You answered to yourself, you can't make her feel the same way. We've got a new year ahead, find a new girl who is worth your time.




Wow man.. I need a therapist like you:) made me feel better, and you weren't even talking to me lol


--------------------

:mushroom2:**need a check up?**:aliendance: **im a Doctor**:mushroom2:
:bow2::bow2::bow2::bow2::bow2::bow2::bow2::bow2::bow2::bow2:
i sometimes wish I was a wormy, wiggling all in the cold dirt...tickle tackle pickle dickle think a mackshift thought of broken words broken gears and words of conundrums..I'm not a weiner doctor so take that shit to dr. Gonz free boob inplant consultations.. Photo required


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InvisibleTheMaster
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Re: Friends with benefits a good thing [Re: OZA] * 1
    #19346536 - 12/30/13 02:19 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

I've always considered friends with benefits something impossible to do with an ex. It is really only possible for people that have never been emotional involved. Even then fwb could evolve into a relationship if both parties are willing.

To me, what most of you guys are describing is the infamous "break up sex". One person or both is ready to be out of the relationship, but still has sexual needs and feels safer doing it with an ex vs. going out and getting some strange. This usually persists for weeks/months until they get back together, find someone else, or shit gets too weird and they leave.

Just my experience, because break up sex and fwb are two entirely seperate concepts in my mind. You can try to tell each other, "lets be friends with benefits", but very rarely will both parties feel 100% detached emotionally.

On that note. Break up sex is awesome and so is having a fuck buddy.


--------------------
"Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever." Mahatma Gandhi


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OfflineIISkuNkII
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Re: Friends with benefits a good thing [Re: OZA]
    #19346570 - 12/30/13 02:25 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

I'm trying.I'ma get rid of things in the house that remind me of her and get on with life.It's not gonna be easy.But I gotta do it.I cHat base my life around her anymore because then I don't have a life.Thanks man you actually made me feel better as well.


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InvisibleTheMaster
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Re: Friends with benefits a good thing [Re: IISkuNkII] * 1
    #19346610 - 12/30/13 02:35 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

IISkuNkII said:
I'm trying.I'ma get rid of things in the house that remind me of her and get on with life.It's not gonna be easy.But I gotta do it.I cHat base my life around her anymore because then I don't have a life.Thanks man you actually made me feel better as well.




Having friends around you can help tremendously. It will still take time, but having people around, preferably that are not mutual friends, can take your mind off things and keep you moving forward.

I was in a very simlar situation years ago but she had no friends of her own excect those she met through me for the most part. I had to find a new network to socialize with and keep the reminders of her away.

Best of luck in the new year!


--------------------
"Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever." Mahatma Gandhi


Edited by TheMaster (12/30/13 02:50 PM)


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OfflinePatlal
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Re: Friends with benefits a good thing [Re: TheMaster]
    #19346624 - 12/30/13 02:38 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Friends with benefits are awesome IMO. The second she starts showing emotions, that your cue to bail out and never come back.


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OfflineIISkuNkII
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Re: Friends with benefits a good thing [Re: TheMaster]
    #19346651 - 12/30/13 02:48 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Thank you.I'm actually at a friend's house to right now.She is a mutual friend though.We've actually become quite good friends recently and before all this happened.So I consider her more my friend than hers.I feel bad though because I told her I would quit smoking weed so th her and yet I've been steadily smoking up.I feel bad every time I do.So I'm probably gonna stop soon.Just not today.I'll start tomorrow.:smile:


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OnlineManianFHS
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Re: Friends with benefits a good thing [Re: Patlal]
    #19346658 - 12/30/13 02:52 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

A girl and i successfully pulled off FWB for around a year. One day i told her i lliked another girl, and she was like, well, i guess thats it then. Were still friends even though i never see her anymore. Cool chick.


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InvisibleTheMaster
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Re: Friends with benefits a good thing [Re: IISkuNkII]
    #19346672 - 12/30/13 02:54 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

IISkuNkII said:
Thank you.I'm actually at a friend's house to right now.She is a mutual friend though.We've actually become quite good friends recently and before all this happened.So I consider her more my friend than hers.I feel bad though because I told her I would quit smoking weed so th her and yet I've been steadily smoking up.I feel bad every time I do.So I'm probably gonna stop soon.Just not today.I'll start tomorrow.:smile:




Funny, I actually ended up dating/living with one of my ex's old roommates who is hot as fuck. Really pissed her off that I chose her old roomy's circle of friends to hang out with too, so that was a bonus.


--------------------
"Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever." Mahatma Gandhi


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OfflineThatKidWithTheFace
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Re: Friends with benefits a good thing [Re: ManianFH]
    #19346675 - 12/30/13 02:55 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

I tried the whole friends with benefits thing earlier this year. The poor girl got attached and I didn't want nothing like that.

I honestly think the failure of my last relationship was Karma for the way I led her on.

:feelssadman:


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Offlineoccollegeboi
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Re: Friends with benefits a good thing [Re: ThatKidWithTheFace]
    #19346730 - 12/30/13 03:10 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

I'm the same way dude. I have to have a connection with someone to have sex with them. I'm not into random hookups and when I meet someone I'm interested in dating, I don't "put out" right away. I make sure they like me the same way I like them beforehand.

Why don't you get a fleshlight or something that you can FUCK, then when you just want to get off, watch some good porn and fuck the fleshlight. You don't need a connection with an inanimate object or with a porn movie in order to get off.


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OfflineIISkuNkII
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Re: Friends with benefits a good thing [Re: occollegeboi]
    #19346756 - 12/30/13 03:16 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

As intriguing as that sounds I'm gonna have to pass up on that idea.I don't like having to do it.I like the feel of a woman not plastic.I'm just gonna have  to go all out and attempt to find a new  partner.Which is exactly what I hate doing is meeting new people.fuck social anxiety.


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