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Invisiblequinn
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Re: *vent [Re: Spacerific]
    #19294057 - 12/18/13 04:27 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

haha that was actually no slip at all, completely intentional

i drink in those situations pretty much to manage anxiety (feeling like idk what to do or say)

a change in how i deal with it would be good i think.. my life seems very privileged and well situated and I can't articulate anything obvious to complain about so i don't feel like running off on some major change is something that I can justify to myself.. I think you are right though I would probably feel better in that kind if environment (tho is difficult to say)

anyway thanks for the input


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dripping with fantasy


Edited by quinn (12/18/13 04:55 PM)


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Invisiblebirdland

Registered: 07/24/11
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Re: *vent [Re: quinn]
    #19294523 - 12/18/13 06:21 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

What thoughts are behind your anxiety? Do you lack confidence and self-esteem? Do you put yourself down and constantly doubt yourself in these situations?

If so, changing certain things could definitely help you with these thoughts.

Are you seeing a psychologist? CBT definitely had some effect in helping me deal with these kind of thoughts when they would constantly be there in any social environment creating anxiety and limiting my social potential to being pretty shit.


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Invisiblequinn
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Re: *vent [Re: birdland]
    #19294679 - 12/18/13 06:50 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

yeh i do all that stuff.. have heard good things about CBT (was that the only thing you tried?) i still haven't seen a psyche yet but have *intended* to for ages (even my mum is on my case to do it).. do you feel you have markedly improved with social anxiety? do you feel freer to do more stuff or the same but just more comfortable?


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Invisiblebirdland

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Re: *vent [Re: quinn] * 1
    #19294790 - 12/18/13 07:20 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

I saw a psychologist who did some sort of mix of mindfulness and CBT and yes my anxiety significantly decreased over this time. That said, I saw her for about a year and a half and there were other events that likely played a role like moving out of home (and away from unmotivated stoner friends) and ending a self-defeating relationship with my ex (her decision actually but I see this having been a positive).

Weed was never any good for my mood/anxiety anyway, cutting down on that has only improved my quality of life and I can still occasionally indulge.

Quote:

do you feel freer to do more stuff or the same but just more comfortable?



Both. Though not by miles; it's been a slow but steady process and I'm by no means anxiety free

You should definitely see a psych dude, I don't imagine it will make things any worse and there's a good chance it will help. Also consider looking in to mindfulness exercises and meditation because that's something you could start right away.


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Invisiblequinn
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Re: *vent [Re: birdland]
    #19295025 - 12/18/13 08:20 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

cool thx for sharing birdland :thumbup:

i also have (somewhat) distanced myself from a bunch of friends who have been a bad influence..

i seem to struggle to find the resolve to see a psyche for whatever reason.. i guess i feel a bit suspicious of it... you're right tho it shouldn't do any harm and maybe i have stuff to talk about..
(i have definitely imagined myself talking with one before lol :P)


--------------------
dripping with fantasy


Edited by quinn (12/18/13 09:15 PM)


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OfflineSpacerific
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Re: *vent [Re: quinn]
    #19295841 - 12/18/13 11:50 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

From my short experience on the planet I can say: fuck psychologists. Not that there's anything wrong with them WHEN NEEDED, but a lot of straight up lazy people will just go pay exorbitant fees because they can't be bothered to google shit.

Shroom out. Go to a festival. Get laid a few times. Build a business following a passion you have. Go out chop some wood and make a fire. Any number of things MIGHT help, and we don't know because people run to shrinks before trying, failing to realize that X sessions with a shrink = a vacation to Mexico you haven't taken, skydiving jumps not done, psychedelics not added to your stash.

Shroom out OP, Aya out, Cactus out as well. Pack for a festival. Show up at a ceremony. All of these will get your head straight far better than sitting your ass on a couch talking.



The thoughts that come next to the anxiety are irrelevant. I remember spending YEARS feeling like shit, over-analyzing my thoughts in my head to no end. It was all useless and didn't help one bit. My real actual problem at the time was being a virgin, not socializing, not following any passion that comes straight from the heart.

Fuck the thoughts. Go outside, try 20 new things and see which one you respond to, with sincere fascination, passion and euphoria. Or in short, rock out with your cock out :lol:


--------------------
Blessed are your eyes because they see, and your ears because they hear.



For truly, I say to you, many prophets and righteous people longed to see what you see, and did not see it,
and to hear what you hear, and did not hear it.
- Matthew 13:16


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Invisiblequinn
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Re: *vent [Re: Spacerific]
    #19295914 - 12/19/13 12:06 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

so space did you see a dramatic change in yourself? how did it happen/how quick did it happen (slow gradual change or sharp awakening)?

do you feel like a different person now or do you still associate with your old self.. (how old are you?)

my dad always tells me to get out and just try stuff but the fact is I have tried quite a lot of things imo, probably more than he has, and often i just feel uncomfortable.. i don't feel I have any real underlying passion or desire in my life, most things i do out of obligation or necessity or i'm killin time


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Invisiblebirdland

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Re: *vent [Re: Spacerific]
    #19296533 - 12/19/13 04:31 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

I've never had aya or mescaline but shrooms definitely have the best antidepressant effect of any drug I've tried. :cool: They don't seem to work in that way for a lot of people though it seems.

Quote:

The thoughts that come next to the anxiety are irrelevant.



I'd advice anyone take anything I have to say about mental health with a grain of salt but I strongly disagree here. The thoughts that coincide with different anxieties are often what are causing that anxiety. And if not they can at least give good insights in to what is causing it. (eg. unconsciously associating with past experiences)

I like your emphasis on getting out there and doing different activities though. Bringing in more pleasurable activities and moving away from dull and/or unpleasant experiences :thumbup:

Also quin, are you getting some heavy exercise in a couple of times a week? Not only does this help with many things such as dealing with stress and sleeping but it endogenously lifts your mood with endorphins (which I'm sure you know, so if you're not already, GET ON IT!) :smile:


Edited by birdland (12/19/13 04:33 AM)


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OfflineSpacerific
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Re: *vent [Re: birdland]
    #19297574 - 12/19/13 11:13 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

@birdland: When I was a tense annoyed virgin, I thought I was worried about school, about noisy neighbors, about Monsanto polluting the planet, about Christianity not being real or this or that facet of human society being pointless.

What my REAL problem was, was the fact that my dick wasn't getting wet. And I know this because as soon as I went and did the deed, I was chill, didn't give a fuck about irrelevant stuff that doesn't concern me, and I was literally amazed at how misguided I was before. Same when you smoke a lil weed, and it hits you: WHOA! Me feeling tense had NOTHING to do with what X said about me. It had EVERYTHING to do with me being all in my head too much. But you only realize this in hindsight. That you were misguided, that what you tried to solve in your head, was actually to be solved outside. By inhaling, injesting, getting laid, etc.

The real causes of feeling shitty are likely to be an inactive lifestyle, not enough sunlight, not enough mouth and vagina on your dick, tits in your face, omega 3 and :mushroom2::mushroom2::mushroom2: in your diet.

@OP - for me the change was quite drastic, I do feel like a different person. I went from tense uptight nerd to quite chill hippie, most of the time. At the very least I KNOW what the game is, even though I don't play it right 100% of the time. At least I don't think it's my mom or my govt making me depressed, it's me, my actions, my lack of vitamins/minerals/exercise/getting laid or getting good trips.

This was after going to the NEtherlands, hitting shrooms, aya, then later having my first acid trip at a large psy festival. No comparison, before and after.

You decide your own level of involvement. If you've really had enough of apathy, resolve to show up at Burning Man or some other great festival this next year. Or pilgrimage of equal or greater emotional value.


--------------------
Blessed are your eyes because they see, and your ears because they hear.



For truly, I say to you, many prophets and righteous people longed to see what you see, and did not see it,
and to hear what you hear, and did not hear it.
- Matthew 13:16


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Invisiblebirdland

Registered: 07/24/11
Posts: 2,202
Re: *vent [Re: Spacerific] * 1
    #19299587 - 12/19/13 07:30 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

I'm glad you're doing so well now dude. You seem like a happy and motivated guy and I like the art you make too :thumbup:

Loosing my virginity did very little to curb my depression.
Cannabis did very little to curb my depression and after a couple of years just ended up compounding it.

One thing that helped me A LOT was realising my anxiety in social situations was being caused by almost always the same thoughts. Thoughts like "what if I sound weird if I say that?", "what if these people don't like me?", "am I being weird right now?", etc. Doubt and lacking confidence. When I logically go through these thoughts after the fact - No I 99% wasn't being weird in any particular way, if they don't like me that's not my problem I have good people who do - my concerns were almost always unfounded so I can learn to dismiss them and return to the moment (refocus; come out of my head). This can be done in real time too.

That's something that did help me.

My first acid trip was at a psy festival and that was a great experience. I attend as many of these as I can now :grin:

My first heavy mushroom trip at home was an incredible experience but a couple of weeks later my mind had reverted back to old mental habits.


Anyway I just wanted to share my own experience since it's a bit different to yours and I'm not dismissing anything you have to say.

Ultimately my problem was also
Quote:

EVERYTHING to do with me being all in my head too much.




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Anonymous #1

Re: *vent [Re: birdland]
    #19301980 - 12/20/13 09:15 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Nah don't do shrooms that's bad advice


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Invisiblequinn
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Re: *vent [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #19322560 - 12/24/13 06:50 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

some good advice there... i have been keeping 'healthy' running and walking regularly, nothing strenuous though, no dieting or anythin..

lol my dad is a crazy exercise freak and my mum is a dietitian so i guess my rebellion is being lazy and eating whatever :S

i think the point that you brought up birdland is interesting (because it is relevant to me :smirk:)

i can totally see myself like early spacerific and my general anxieties as just a straw house made of irrational thoughts that can be blown away by being more socially active and having sex with people..

on the other hand i dont like the idea of just ignoring my thoughts.. and i also dont like feeling guilty for having them or that they are something i need to be rid of. i think seeing a psyche could be beneficial.. just need to stop hesitating and do it already..

cheers for the contributions and merry christmas :smile:


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Offlinebrokentv
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Re: *vent [Re: quinn]
    #19328557 - 12/26/13 12:04 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

This video might be worth a watch to you, it's encouraging.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GGp25fn25Cs


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Invisiblequinn
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Re: *vent [Re: brokentv]
    #19340306 - 12/29/13 05:15 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

good on that dude :thumbup:

idk if i am a hard case noobie as my circumstances are good and my family could not be better.. it is possible i am just weak and/or a jerk and/or have had a well placed bit of bad luck amidst the mostly overwhelming good luck that just undid me.. it's hard for me to gauge.. I am unhappy and low functioning like the ppl he described but not bad enough to be unable to get by.. i actually think my ability to hide it well has been a terrible thing.. I feel like i am suspended in a dull nowhere land and have been for a long time.. maybe I am on the way to being a successful internet troll hmm :strokebeard:


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Invisiblequinn
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Re: *vent [Re: quinn] * 1
    #19340326 - 12/29/13 05:27 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

i also found it interesting that he was critical of the people who have accepted their deplorable condition to the point that they don't care anymore.. imo those people aren't necessarily bad and may have a dark but not not necessarily uncaring or unnurturing perspective

i feel from their perspective why should they put any more effort into their life than others do and if they are weirdos so what that's who they are..

i feel like the guy in the video's narrative was one of returning to normality, regular sex and reintegration but none of those things are necessary to becoming a high functioning person, all you need are (imo) the few people you understand and care for and personal values that allow you to navigate the world and act in it successfully


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InvisibleLunarEclipse
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Re: *vent [Re: quinn]
    #19340518 - 12/29/13 07:10 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

quinn said:
i also found it interesting that he was critical of the people who have accepted their deplorable condition to the point that they don't care anymore.. imo those people aren't necessarily bad and may have a dark but not not necessarily uncaring or unnurturing perspective

i feel from their perspective why should they put any more effort into their life than others do and if they are weirdos so what that's who they are..

i feel like the guy in the video's narrative was one of returning to normality, regular sex and reintegration but none of those things are necessary to becoming a high functioning person, all you need are (imo) the few people you understand and care for and personal values that allow you to navigate the world and act in it successfully




Why they should put more effort into their life than others do, is because it's their life.  Letting others care for you may not really be what is needed for change.

Anxiety is what you make it.  Don't embrace it.  If you can just relax and watch the world, instead of trying so hard to change yourself, that may help.



--------------------
Anxiety is what you make it.


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Invisiblequinn
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Re: *vent [Re: LunarEclipse]
    #19343143 - 12/29/13 07:20 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

thanks dood, tis true..:thumbup: seems not much more can be said on the matter as satisfaciton, desire etc are subjective things (imo) & i guess that you need to struggle for them and can never have the certainty that you are doing the completely right thing but only that you are doing the best you can as far as you know and understand in yourself.. maaan life is so fricken weird.

(ps - thank god you didnt post Bon Jovi's - 'It's My Life' or i would have had to leave this thread and never return)


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InvisibleLunarEclipse
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Re: *vent [Re: quinn]
    #19345150 - 12/30/13 06:17 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

quinn said:
thanks dood, tis true..:thumbup: seems not much more can be said on the matter as satisfaciton, desire etc are subjective things (imo) & i guess that you need to struggle for them and can never have the certainty that you are doing the completely right thing but only that you are doing the best you can as far as you know and understand in yourself.. maaan life is so fricken weird.

(ps - thank god you didnt post Bon Jovi's - 'It's My Life' or i would have had to leave this thread and never return)




Desire.



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Anxiety is what you make it.


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Invisiblequinn
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Re: *vent [Re: LunarEclipse]
    #19345205 - 12/30/13 06:35 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

i desire anna much more than bonno :argh:


i dont feel like i desire much in my life atm.. just eat & shit & shit... hopefully i can get some decent mdma tomorrow for new years tho


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Offlinebrokentv
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Re: *vent [Re: quinn]
    #19345964 - 12/30/13 11:49 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

quinn said:
i also found it interesting that he was critical of the people who have accepted their deplorable condition to the point that they don't care anymore.. imo those people aren't necessarily bad and may have a dark but not not necessarily uncaring or unnurturing perspective

i feel from their perspective why should they put any more effort into their life than others do and if they are weirdos so what that's who they are..

i feel like the guy in the video's narrative was one of returning to normality, regular sex and reintegration but none of those things are necessary to becoming a high functioning person, all you need are (imo) the few people you understand and care for and personal values that allow you to navigate the world and act in it successfully




Yeah I see what you mean. I just though his over all idea was pretty cool about building yourself up.


Also look into this book called Awaken The Giant Within! It goes into depth about some what Spacerific is talking about. It doesn't so much tell you what to do but rather how to do it. Basically a guide to living up to your true potential.


Edited by brokentv (12/30/13 11:55 AM)


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