|
evileye001
Stranger then you



Registered: 02/23/13
Posts: 2,341
Last seen: 1 year, 2 months
|
gf has been on a rebellious power trip phase latley
#19339400 - 12/28/13 10:49 PM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
|
|
ok been a while since i had a good rant so here it goes.
so. iv been with my gf for 5 years now. we met when i was a senior in high school. we have had our ups and downs but we have always loved each other dearly. she has always been kinda a mommas and daddys girl, calls every night she is not with them, they always paid for everything, cant stay the night without asking parents first. shes kinda immature. you get the idea. she still lives with them. i live with mine too but i pay my own and come and go and do as i please. so yea there my room mates. go ahead make fun.
anywasy, im 23 and she is 21. she has finally got her first job ever, made some friends and is maturing away from mommy and daddy (emotionally, but not in a bad way you know). lately she has been on this rebellious power trip phase. like ill do what the fuck i want when ever the fuck i want how ever i god damn please! im 21 and no damn body is going to tell me what to do! with both me and her parents.
an example. the other night we planed to meet up at 5:30 and go out, come back to my house and stay at my place for the night. i only get to spend a good amount of time with her and have her stay like once every two weeks now because of our work sceduals. well i text her at 5:30... "ill call in a bit im over at *blanks*" (who is a few doors down, they live at a motel right now.) text her at 6:30. "ill call you in a bit." text at, 7. same thing. finally at 8:00 i text do you just want to weight? its already 8pm. "no come over i want you to meet *blank*" who she is with.
sooo. frustratedly i go over there and meet her friend b4 i take her out. they are both sloppy drunk and her friend wants me to take a shot with them. so i obliged. shortly after my gf starts puking on her self. after dealing with that she finally decides to leave and go out with me. i tell her she should probly go home because she is so drunk. she gets really pissed at me so i told her how i felt. i cant belave you blew me off so you could get shit faced drunk with your friend.
who the fuck are you to tell me who i can hang out with?
baby thats not the point.
ill fucking hang with my friends if i want to. i didnt relize you were my father.
baby. i get to spend some real time with you like once every two weeks! you live 12 steps away from here and you blew me off since 5:30 to get shitfaced.
ill do what ever the fuck i goddamn well please! if you dont like it thats your fucking problem! keep this shit up and ill leave you!
back and fourth like that.
when we did finally leave she was so drunk she couldn't go any where and it basically ruined the night.
i wont go into detail but the other night, (she was sober) i was concerd about her because of what she had said ealer when we were on the phone. (she works in a bad neighborhood) randomly and abruptly says ill let you go and hangs up. after three hours, two sent to voice mails and two text i call her work phone. hears it was me and says that *blank and blank* walked in and she was talking to them. didnt the sent to voice mail give you a hint? im like wtf? and we go at it again over fb chat and she same trip as last time.
she has never been like this b4. trust me its not like she is seing someone or something, if you were there you would understand. but really i feel like im dating my 16yo rebellious daughter lately.
sorry for the rant. i had to get it out somewhere.
-------------------- we are the universe contemplating its self.
Edited by evileye001 (12/28/13 10:58 PM)
|
Group
Working Together


Registered: 10/25/13
Posts: 115
|
Re: gf has been on a rebellious power trip phase latley [Re: evileye001]
#19339416 - 12/28/13 10:53 PM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
|
|
Love and light
-------------------- We are starting a mushroom growing network to provide FREE and/or inexpensive gourmet and medicinal mushrooms to local communities accross the US and globally. We have the opportunity to feed and heal each other. We simply need to work together. By sharing our talents we enable ourselves and others to enjoy a world of abundance. We'd love for collaboration from YOU, PM me!
|
TrentBoyett
Aspiring Mycologist



Registered: 11/29/12
Posts: 16,000
Loc: Kazakhstan
|
Re: gf has been on a rebellious power trip phase latley [Re: evileye001]
#19339470 - 12/28/13 11:06 PM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
|
|
She just came into her rebellious stage a little late man...
Idk what to tell you besides... DSHSB
|
evileye001
Stranger then you



Registered: 02/23/13
Posts: 2,341
Last seen: 1 year, 2 months
|
Re: gf has been on a rebellious power trip phase latley [Re: TrentBoyett]
#19339527 - 12/28/13 11:24 PM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
|
|
Quote:
TrentBoyett said: She just came into her rebellious stage a little late man...
Idk what to tell you besides... DSHSB
typically i would love that response but this is one of the few serious matters i post.
pls i already tried that and it didn't work.
-------------------- we are the universe contemplating its self.
|
vandago



Registered: 07/07/04
Posts: 20,917
Loc: .
|
Re: gf has been on a rebellious power trip phase latley [Re: evileye001]
#19339568 - 12/28/13 11:40 PM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
|
|
It sounds like she has a lot of controlling people in her life....IME saying "but baby....." Doesn't help matters at all....she is craving control in any way she can get it....you are giving it to her....
Back off and let her do her thing. People have to reach a limit before they come into themselves....gotta get the wild side out....it can take years for some....and you aren't going to prevent it, and if you do...fuck you.....not insulting you, I'm just saying....she's right....who are you to control her?
Give her the space she needs, and if you are really in love, you'll be together.....if it's not meant to be, it's not.
|
Lynnch
Strangerer



Registered: 04/29/09
Posts: 7,855
|
Re: gf has been on a rebellious power trip phase latley [Re: evileye001]
#19339593 - 12/28/13 11:48 PM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
|
|
It's called being 21 man, you're both still young and figuring things out. Don't argue with drunk people. She's gonna do dumb stuff, try to forgive her. You're gonna want her to act a certain way as your girlfriend, and to some extent, control her. Hopefully she can understand why, and forgive you when you overstep. Other than that it sounds like some overblown bullshit, or shes fuckin somebody else bro. Just let it go instead of continuing the fight.
|
shroomluv


Registered: 10/17/13
Posts: 241
|
Re: gf has been on a rebellious power trip phase latley [Re: vandago]
#19339607 - 12/28/13 11:53 PM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
|
|
Yep, like vandago said, ya have to just let it be. Everyone goes through that wild streak before they realize who they are and what they want in life. Do your own thing too cuz the more you try to tell her what you think her priorities should be, the more she will pull away from you.
|
evileye001
Stranger then you



Registered: 02/23/13
Posts: 2,341
Last seen: 1 year, 2 months
|
Re: gf has been on a rebellious power trip phase latley [Re: shroomluv]
#19339653 - 12/29/13 12:04 AM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
|
|
Quote:
shroomluv said: Yep, like vandago said, ya have to just let it be. Everyone goes through that wild streak before they realize who they are and what they want in life. Do your own thing too cuz the more you try to tell her what you think her priorities should be, the more she will pull away from you.
im not trying to tell her that.
we have been together for five years. she has a ring on her finger! is it asking so much to ask to check in when im worried? or ask why she blew me off to get shit faced? if i did that it WOULD BE MY ASS! has any one had a relationship longer then 6 months with some input?
-------------------- we are the universe contemplating its self.
|
vandago



Registered: 07/07/04
Posts: 20,917
Loc: .
|
Re: gf has been on a rebellious power trip phase latley [Re: evileye001] 2
#19339666 - 12/29/13 12:07 AM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
|
|
Wow.....
I can understand why she is pulling away from you.
I've been in a 5 year relationship. A 3 year relationship. And I have been in a polygamous relationship. I'm 28.
When you get cheated on for demanding your girlfriend to check in with you, then you can talk to me.
I tried that....." I'm just worried ".....nah man...you are just losing control....
That ring is a great gesture....it isn't a ball and chain though....it's a ring
|
evileye001
Stranger then you



Registered: 02/23/13
Posts: 2,341
Last seen: 1 year, 2 months
|
Re: gf has been on a rebellious power trip phase latley [Re: vandago]
#19339716 - 12/29/13 12:20 AM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
|
|
Quote:
vandago said: Wow.....
I can understand why she is pulling away from you.
I've been in a 5 year relationship. A 3 year relationship. And I have been in a polygamous relationship. I'm 28.
When you get cheated on for demanding your girlfriend to check in with you, then you can talk to me.
maybe your right. just seems like a big sudden swing.
I tried that....." I'm just worried ".....nah man...you are just losing control....
That ring is a great gesture....it isn't a ball and chain though....it's a ring 
soooo
i should let her have here wild streak.
go from are you ok? is somthing wrong (from both of us) to fuck you bye.
and as she seems to put it. your only here for the ride. you dont like it... fuck off.
mabey your right. just seems like a big sudden swing.
i mean if i put these stigmas, restrictions and sudden "who the fuck are you for asking i check in" on her she would go apeshit!
-------------------- we are the universe contemplating its self.
|
evileye001
Stranger then you



Registered: 02/23/13
Posts: 2,341
Last seen: 1 year, 2 months
|
Re: gf has been on a rebellious power trip phase latley [Re: vandago]
#19339727 - 12/29/13 12:25 AM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
|
|
Quote:
vandago said: It sounds like she has a lot of controlling people in her life....IME saying "but baby....." Doesn't help matters at all....she is craving control in any way she can get it....you are giving it to her....
Back off and let her do her thing. People have to reach a limit before they come into themselves....gotta get the wild side out....it can take years for some....and you aren't going to prevent it, and if you do...fuck you.....not insulting you, I'm just saying....she's right....who are you to control her?
Give her the space she needs, and if you are really in love, you'll be together.....if it's not meant to be, it's not.
good pice of advice.
only thing i disagree with is i dont want to controll her. i want her to have fun and drink and smoke and go party.
its just the blowing me off. and i didnt think wanting the three second tex to say hey im busy/ok was controlling. not like im suddenly changing how we act twords each other or something.
-------------------- we are the universe contemplating its self.
|
vandago



Registered: 07/07/04
Posts: 20,917
Loc: .
|
Re: gf has been on a rebellious power trip phase latley [Re: evileye001]
#19339732 - 12/29/13 12:27 AM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
|
|
She's going to do what she's going to do regardless. You can tell her how you feel, but it's about how you tell her. Don't give her a reason to rebel out of spite towards you....unless you like being cheated on.....because trust me....I've been cheated once or twice or a handful of times...and it was always when I got to that same point you are at.....feeling eachother grow apart, and doing everything you think you can to keep things the way they were....
It's a rough time in a relationship, and it's a test of both of your love....can she stay by your side no matter how much attention and excitement she craves? Can you stand to watch her semi self destruct, and support her? Will you be able to sleep knowing she's out having a good time without you? Will she feel comfortable having a good time or will she be stressed at how you're going to act right when she walks in the door? Are you going to ask questions....or know the answers? You're in love...act like it
|
evileye001
Stranger then you



Registered: 02/23/13
Posts: 2,341
Last seen: 1 year, 2 months
|
Re: gf has been on a rebellious power trip phase latley [Re: vandago]
#19339757 - 12/29/13 12:36 AM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
|
|
Quote:
vandago said: She's going to do what she's going to do regardless. You can tell her how you feel, but it's about how you tell her. Don't give her a reason to rebel out of spite towards you....unless you like being cheated on.....because trust me....I've been cheated once or twice or a handful of times...and it was always when I got to that same point you are at.....feeling eachother grow apart, and doing everything you think you can to keep things the way they were....
It's a rough time in a relationship, and it's a test of both of your love....can she stay by your side no matter how much attention and excitement she craves? Can you stand to watch her semi self destruct, and support her? Will you be able to sleep knowing she's out having a good time without you? Will she feel comfortable having a good time or will she be stressed at how you're going to act right when she walks in the door? Are you going to ask questions....or know the answers? You're in love...act like it 
umm. ok i uhh, well, yea.
-------------------- we are the universe contemplating its self.
|
koraks
Registered: 06/02/03
Posts: 26,672
|
Re: gf has been on a rebellious power trip phase latley [Re: evileye001]
#19340080 - 12/29/13 02:54 AM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
|
|
Sorry OP, but by the sound of it, you're nearly or entirely done with this girlfriend (or rather: she's with you). Vandago is a bit more optimistic by calling it a 'test of both your love', but I personally think it's just another case (out of the millions and millions) of two young people falling in love, then growing up/maturing at different rates and losing touch in the process. Odds are it's over. Sorry to be harsh, but truth hurts sometimes.
|
vandago



Registered: 07/07/04
Posts: 20,917
Loc: .
|
Re: gf has been on a rebellious power trip phase latley [Re: koraks] 1
#19340154 - 12/29/13 03:30 AM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
|
|
I mean I didn't say what was going to happen after said test.....I think they will both fail it at this rate...she's already blowing him off for booze, and looking for reasons to fight. He's already seeing this, and putting out the over effort that just nails the coffin shut.
The thing about the stage you are in OP, is it could linger forever if you don't resolve it. When I say I was in a relationship for 5 years, it should have only been 1-2.....we drug it out and drove eachother insane..same with the 3 year relationship......Love is a beast to walk away from.
|
Heffy
BrauMeister



Registered: 08/30/04
Posts: 3,262
Loc: International Traveller
Last seen: 5 years, 8 months
|
Re: gf has been on a rebellious power trip phase latley [Re: evileye001]
#19340572 - 12/29/13 07:35 AM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
|
|
Quote:
is it asking so much to ask to check in when im worried? or ask why she blew me off to get shit faced?
She is probably doing these things specifically to get a rise out of you. You are taking the bait.
-------------------- I am the king of Rome, and above grammar! - Emperor Sigismund
|
memes
Blessed



Registered: 01/11/05
Posts: 27,785
Loc: In a Tree
|
Re: gf has been on a rebellious power trip phase latley [Re: evileye001]
#19340785 - 12/29/13 09:38 AM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
|
|
Quote:
evileye001 said: and as she seems to put it. your only here for the ride. you dont like it... fuck off.
And now that you realize this, your life will be happier.
Guess what friend. If you find yourself constantly having to change your actions to appease the person you're with, then you wake up one morning realizing your life is a collection of compromises - and goddamnit, its time you just did what the fuck you want.
sounds like your girl woke up. if she loves you, and you're secure in that, then you should let her run around - knowing full well that she loves you and is always going to eventually come back and climb into bed with ya. If you're not secure in that, if you think her wild streak will lead to the demise of your relationship as she enjoys her ever-expanding freedom, then break up with her now.
either way, Vandango is 100% right.
And yes, I have the prerequisites as well.
|
Dark_Star
train driver pervading a desktop


Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 31,859
Loc: Uranus
|
Re: gf has been on a rebellious power trip phase latley [Re: memes]
#19340897 - 12/29/13 10:15 AM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
|
|
Sounds like it's time for OP & his girl to take a break & start seeing other people.
--------------------
|
memes
Blessed



Registered: 01/11/05
Posts: 27,785
Loc: In a Tree
|
Re: gf has been on a rebellious power trip phase latley [Re: vandago]
#19340955 - 12/29/13 10:34 AM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
|
|
Quote:
vandago said: She's going to do what she's going to do regardless. You can tell her how you feel, but it's about how you tell her. Don't give her a reason to rebel out of spite towards you....unless you like being cheated on.....because trust me....I've been cheated once or twice or a handful of times...and it was always when I got to that same point you are at.....feeling eachother grow apart, and doing everything you think you can to keep things the way they were....
:feelssimilarman:
|
claraclairvoyant
well oiled machine



Registered: 05/24/09
Posts: 7,802
Last seen: 6 years, 6 months
|
Re: gf has been on a rebellious power trip phase latley [Re: koraks]
#19341085 - 12/29/13 11:15 AM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
|
|
Quote:
koraks said: Sorry OP, but by the sound of it, you're nearly or entirely done with this girlfriend (or rather: she's with you). Vandago is a bit more optimistic by calling it a 'test of both your love', but I personally think it's just another case (out of the millions and millions) of two young people falling in love, then growing up/maturing at different rates and losing touch in the process. Odds are it's over. Sorry to be harsh, but truth hurts sometimes.
yep, this. you're both young and have likely been eachother's only serious relationship (right?). you're both growing and sometimes growth works best on your own and not with somebody holding you down.
--------------------
|
chicksgrowtoo


Registered: 12/01/13
Posts: 3,422
|
Re: gf has been on a rebellious power trip phase latley [Re: claraclairvoyant]
#19341714 - 12/29/13 02:03 PM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
|
|
she wants her freedom dude, she probably just doesn't know how to tell you so she's acting out instead.
|
Repertoire89
Cat



Registered: 11/15/12
Posts: 21,773
|
Re: gf has been on a rebellious power trip phase latley [Re: evileye001]
#19341766 - 12/29/13 02:17 PM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
|
|
I'd end it in your shoes OP, not interested in any lifelong relationships though
|
Prisoner#1
Even Dumber ThanAdvertized!


Registered: 01/22/03
Posts: 193,665
Loc: Pvt. Pubfag NutSuck
|
Re: gf has been on a rebellious power trip phase latley [Re: chicksgrowtoo]
#19342341 - 12/29/13 04:16 PM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
|
|
Quote:
chicksgrowtoo said:
she wants her freedom dude, she probably just doesn't know how to tell you so she's acting out instead.
this doesnt mean the relationship is over, just that she has to have time for herself, if he doesnt let her do her thing, he will lose her
|
TrentBoyett
Aspiring Mycologist



Registered: 11/29/12
Posts: 16,000
Loc: Kazakhstan
|
Re: gf has been on a rebellious power trip phase latley [Re: Prisoner#1]
#19342575 - 12/29/13 05:11 PM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Prisoner#1 said:
Quote:
chicksgrowtoo said:
she wants her freedom dude, she probably just doesn't know how to tell you so she's acting out instead.
this doesnt mean the relationship is over, just that she has to have time for herself, if he doesnt let her do her thing, he will lose her
|
evileye001
Stranger then you



Registered: 02/23/13
Posts: 2,341
Last seen: 1 year, 2 months
|
Re: gf has been on a rebellious power trip phase latley [Re: TrentBoyett]
#19343981 - 12/29/13 10:28 PM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
|
|
thank you! i knew half of the responses would be. sorry, time to move on. but the others have had some great advice.
no this is not my first serious relationship. my longest yes. im not worrying about her leaving me. i have seen/heard her turning down guys and saying she is in a relationship and what not. whit out her knowing that i did, just out of coincidence. not that i was worried any ways. not saying i never get jealous just not worried she is gana bang some dude one night.
trust me this is not the roughest patch that we have hit b4! lol
just was trying to make seance of this last weird twist in our relationship. came as a bit of a puzzler. but thanks to (some) of you who arent so quick to say fuck it, iv gained a lot of light.
-------------------- we are the universe contemplating its self.
|
koraks
Registered: 06/02/03
Posts: 26,672
|
Re: gf has been on a rebellious power trip phase latley [Re: evileye001] 1
#19344823 - 12/30/13 03:27 AM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
|
|
All I can say is good luck holding on to your teenage sweetheart as she starts to grow up. It's going to be a rough ride.
|
shroomluv



Registered: 10/17/13
Posts: 241
|
Re: gf has been on a rebellious power trip phase latley [Re: evileye001]
#19344951 - 12/30/13 04:30 AM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
|
|
Quote:
evileye001 said:
Quote:
shroomluv said: Yep, like vandago said, ya have to just let it be. Everyone goes through that wild streak before they realize who they are and what they want in life. Do your own thing too cuz the more you try to tell her what you think her priorities should be, the more she will pull away from you.
im not trying to tell her that.
we have been together for five years. she has a ring on her finger! is it asking so much to ask to check in when im worried? or ask why she blew me off to get shit faced? if i did that it WOULD BE MY ASS! has any one had a relationship longer then 6 months with some input?
I have been with my husband for 12 years now and we were pretty young when we first got together and had to go through a similar thing. All I'm trying to say is you're both young and if you are truly compatible it will just fit together eventually. But not if you make her feel like she has to give up her friends. Friend time is really important to having a happy relationship. (imo) You can't be everything to each other all the time. Also she might feel a little smothered since she's still living at home. (I know I would) I'm not saying to stop seeing each other, just allow her some breathing room. That being said, you should still be considerate to each other by scheduling "friend time" & "couples' time" and not blowing each other off "uhhhhuhhuhhu you said blow each other uuuhhhuuhhuuhhuuhhuu"
|
memes
Blessed


Registered: 01/11/05
Posts: 27,785
Loc: In a Tree
|
Re: gf has been on a rebellious power trip phase latley [Re: evileye001] 1
#19345153 - 12/30/13 06:17 AM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
|
|
Quote:
evileye001 said: but thanks to (some) of you who arent so quick to say fuck it, iv gained a lot of light.
some of us are quick to say "fuck it" because we've walked down this road a few times and know when to hop off the path.
sorry everyone didnt say 100% exactly what you wanted to hear :eyeroll:
|
TrentBoyett
Aspiring Mycologist



Registered: 11/29/12
Posts: 16,000
Loc: Kazakhstan
|
Re: gf has been on a rebellious power trip phase latley [Re: memes]
#19345162 - 12/30/13 06:21 AM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
|
|
|
koraks
Registered: 06/02/03
Posts: 26,672
|
Re: gf has been on a rebellious power trip phase latley [Re: memes]
#19345168 - 12/30/13 06:23 AM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
|
|
It's sympathetic that he wants to be optimistic. Hey, weren't we all at some point? And granted, 0.1% of the couples do make it through a phase like this and live happily ever after (or at least several years). Perhaps they are part of the 0.1%. I'll gladly grant them the benefit of that particular doubt, I really do. But like you, memes, I think it will be a sad sight if OP has to face the harsh reality of the 99.9% at some point. Perhaps we just want to make the landing a little less hard for him by preparing him a bit? Yeah...that must be it.
|
Maharishi_2_U
Opt Out Super Fag


Registered: 10/21/09
Posts: 6,316
Loc: The Streets
Last seen: 8 years, 10 months
|
Re: gf has been on a rebellious power trip phase latley [Re: Lynnch]
#19345186 - 12/30/13 06:31 AM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
|
|
Quote:
Lynnch said: It's called being 21 man, you're both still young and figuring things out. Don't argue with drunk people. She's gonna do dumb stuff, try to forgive her. You're gonna want her to act a certain way as your girlfriend, and to some extent, control her. Hopefully she can understand why, and forgive you when you overstep. Other than that it sounds like some overblown bullshit, or shes fuckin somebody else bro. Just let it go instead of continuing the fight.
This, no more can or needs to be said.
|
Repertoire89
Cat



Registered: 11/15/12
Posts: 21,773
|
Re: gf has been on a rebellious power trip phase latley [Re: koraks]
#19345550 - 12/30/13 09:16 AM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
|
|
Quote:
koraks said: It's sympathetic that he wants to be optimistic. Hey, weren't we all at some point? And granted, 0.1% of the couples do make it through a phase like this and live happily ever after (or at least several years). Perhaps they are part of the 0.1%. I'll gladly grant them the benefit of that particular doubt, I really do. But like you, memes, I think it will be a sad sight if OP has to face the harsh reality of the 99.9% at some point. Perhaps we just want to make the landing a little less hard for him by preparing him a bit? Yeah...that must be it.
All I'd be thinking is its time to find a new woman
|
|