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Offlinecosmospirit


Registered: 08/03/13
Posts: 51
Loc: Finland Flag
Last seen: 8 years, 1 month
Feel like I'm going crazy
    #19339240 - 12/28/13 10:17 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

So long story short, I decided to have a break from all psychoactive substances since I was starting to get bad trips and panic attacks from even just a little bit of weed.

Quitting all psychoactives included cigarettes. So, I stopped smoking cigarettes AND weed at the same time. At first it was okay, I was actually very delighted that it was so easy to just quit cold turkey. But then, gradually after a couple of weeks the withdrawal symptoms came. It's now been about 1,5 months.

I sometimes feel VERY anxious, like I'm going crazy, insane or schizo. I don't know why, there is no evidence for anything like that and I checked from my brother that there are no mental illnesses in our family history so...

I also have this persistent headache. It's not like any headache I've ever known, but it's like constant head pressure but I can deal with it.

The worst part truly is this fear of going crazy. I just woke up and had this crazy dream where I was either having a TERRIBLE trip or going batshit insane. Looking back at it if I'd be more experienced with reality checking inside my dreams I probably could've snapped outta it. But it was truly horrifying, I cannot describe it.

I smoked cigarettes for 2,5 years, smoked weed for 6 months pretty much almost everyday. I'm 23 y.o. I've had a varying amounts of depression on/off since I was 16.

I try to meditate, think positive and read some good books about self-health and stuff like that. I'm also avoiding people who smoke weed since even the smell can make me really anxious right now. It's also not easy living in such a depressing country such as Finland, during this time of year where we have like 6 hours of daylight and even then the sun is covered in clouds and it's dark. Also this is pretty stressful time for me in general, regarding my life, facing a lot of pressure and stress about what I should be doing and what I shouldn't.

I dunno if I'm going crazy or if it's just the withdrawal symptoms... I have no idea. I'm wondering if I could get some positive (or negative) words from you guys. Maybe I should just try to chill and endure this. Peace out.


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OfflineFungiJB
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Registered: 05/29/12
Posts: 174
Last seen: 4 years, 10 months
Re: Feel like I'm going crazy [Re: cosmospirit]
    #19339262 - 12/28/13 10:22 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

You sir need some xanex


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Offlinecosmospirit


Registered: 08/03/13
Posts: 51
Loc: Finland Flag
Last seen: 8 years, 1 month
Re: Feel like I'm going crazy [Re: FungiJB]
    #19339313 - 12/28/13 10:30 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

FungiJB said:
You sir need some xanex



Nah I wanna stay completely sober. I have a close friend who's addicted to benzos and looking that way I never wanna go there.


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OfflineShamanism
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Registered: 11/29/13
Posts: 10
Last seen: 5 years, 10 months
Re: Feel like I'm going crazy [Re: cosmospirit]
    #19339570 - 12/28/13 11:40 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Mate I understand this is a delicate matter, I think everyone of us has been or will be scared about ever going insane ,sometimes it gets hard to recognize the real boundary that separates between sanity and insanity.
In my opinion you should figure out if the anxiety is simply triggered by the substances or if something else in your life gets amplified by the use of substance overwhelming you emotionally.
The only thing I can say in my experience about the headaches is that they could be related to 25i but that should last some months....
Hope you feel better soon :wink:


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InvisibleFrozenHappiness
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Registered: 03/01/01
Posts: 5,330
Loc: Nagoon Lagoon
Re: Feel like I'm going crazy [Re: FungiJB]
    #19339590 - 12/28/13 11:46 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

FungiJB said:
You sir need some xanex




^not this,
anxiolytics mask symptoms, they do not treat the causes of the symptoms. I couldn't tell you how many people I have known that were completely dependent on anxiolytics. Don't risk exchanging one problem for another.

I think you're experiencing a mixture of withdrawal symptoms, boredom, and maybe some latent anxiety/depression.

When I first quit smoking weed several years ago I experienced something slightly similar. I went from being baked 24/7 for two straight years to sober over night. At first I was bored, I missed it and I didn't know what to do with myself. I had trouble sleeping, I was cranky a for a couple of days, but as I adjusted to sobriety over the course of 3 or 4 days I noticed that I began to feel really good.

When I quit smoking cigarettes this fall I went through something very similar. I had been smoking cigarettes regularly (often fiendishly) for at least 12 years. When I quit I literally felt like I was going crazy sometimes. I didn't feel that way very much at first, but about three weeks to a month after I quit it hit me with almost unbearable intensity. I had that strange head pressure headache type feeling, like wandering around while being super frustrated or, I don't know-- it is hard to explain.
I had spontaneous episodes where I was anxious, and sometimes downright manic. 

I think you are going through an intense adjustment period because you decided to quit everything all at once. I think your biggest enemy is boredom, and I think you will be fine if you try to just power through this. You probably aren't going to go insane- even though you might feel like it sometimes. Hang in there.


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OfflineShroomyBudz
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Registered: 05/23/12
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Re: Feel like I'm going crazy [Re: FungiJB]
    #19339734 - 12/29/13 12:27 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

FungiJB said:
You sir need some xanex




Doesn't always work out too well..


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:pm: me if you ever need anything! I try to check them daily! :cool:


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Offlinecosmospirit


Registered: 08/03/13
Posts: 51
Loc: Finland Flag
Last seen: 8 years, 1 month
Re: Feel like I'm going crazy [Re: ShroomyBudz]
    #19340203 - 12/29/13 04:02 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Thanks guys. Really, thanks. I feel much better after getting some good sleep (aka. not hellish nightmares) Also the last (and only time) I did 25i was in the summer so that can't be the source of my headaches. It's probably just nicotine withdrawal as speculated.

Things have been really stressful as I said. Also my spiritual growth and knowledge has skyrocketed during this year, and I also seem to have developed some kind of hypersensitivity to psychoactives after quitting cigarettes. I can notice some effects on myself even from a cup of tea. Two beers can make a nasty trip, though that's just probably my anxiety kicking in.

I abused DXM earlier this year, until the trips started getting from mindblowing to just feeling good to feeling nothing but mild confusion to seriously bad trips. Same thing happened with weed. I think it has to do with me reaching the limits of what I can learn from them. It might be that the anxiety results from me subconsciously asking myself "why did I decide to trip when it's clear I can learn nothing new from this substance?"

Yeah, I guess I'll be alright. Just need to focus on reality for a while :grin:


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Offlineteenagehippie
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Registered: 05/30/13
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Re: Feel like I'm going crazy [Re: cosmospirit]
    #19340929 - 12/29/13 10:26 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

You could try to learn to lucid dream :3

This way you have something to focus on and put some of your time/effort into reading up etc.

If you did finally manage to crack it you could have some of the most enjoyable 'trips' of your life without any need for drugs (since a good lucid dreamer can decide the content of their dreams). Furthermore unlike a bad trip, if you don't like what's happening -just wake up :smile:


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Offlineteenagehippie
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Re: Feel like I'm going crazy [Re: teenagehippie]
    #19340934 - 12/29/13 10:27 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

p.s you aren't going crazy. Drugs thin the lines that divide what we know is real and what we believe could be. The altered perception of hallucinogens can make us think some DAMN weird things at times (even long after the drugs wear off).

Goodluck with your break my friend.


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OfflineFungiJB
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Re: Feel like I'm going crazy [Re: teenagehippie]
    #19341150 - 12/29/13 11:35 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

You guys are probably right. Not a good idea.. When ever Im freaking out, and things arent going to well, I go to my emergency freak out xanex stash. I also have an emergency oxy stash for when I eat shit on my long board, and a booze one for when im really loosing it. But they get touched once every few months at the months at the most. Best of luck man. sorry for my poor suggestion.


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Offlinecosmospirit


Registered: 08/03/13
Posts: 51
Loc: Finland Flag
Last seen: 8 years, 1 month
Re: Feel like I'm going crazy [Re: FungiJB]
    #19343979 - 12/29/13 10:28 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Don't worry about it Fungi, no harm done =)

Just woke up from yet another nightmare. Actually I had a dream, then I thought I woke up (I woke up in my bed and got up, in the dream) and then had a nightmare. Inception O_O

I am actually somewhat aware in my dreams. I can usually end things if they go bad, but not before seeing something really bad. One time I actually started to scream and flail my arms in the air to wake up, then I saw the dream world slowly crumbling away before my eyes as I returned to my body and saw the real world at the same time. Creepy, yet interesting.

Lucid dreaming seems very intriguing. I will look more into that. In the meanwhile I'll try to meditate and actually get some things done, despite my anxiety. It does not help being an empath and most of my close friends are having a hard time in their life too. *sigh* oh well, one day at a time. Thank you, friends.


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Offlineteenagehippie
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Re: Feel like I'm going crazy [Re: cosmospirit]
    #19345269 - 12/30/13 07:05 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

What you said about seeing the dream world disintegrate has happened to me before!!

I remember being in my dream and at my flat with my flatmates after a rave, and we were just chilling on the couches and one flatmate started play-fighting with me and it was like there was no gap between being asleep and being awake, its like I had my arms up infront of my and he literally faded out and i looked round and was in my bed at my rents house in Manchester -arms still raised exactly where they were in the dream.

Creeeepy shit.


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