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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery



Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
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Re: Well, it's finally happening to me now, spiritual awakening [Re: Deviate]
#19336113 - 12/28/13 09:00 AM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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Deviate said:
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Icelander said:
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Deviate said: Your response indicates you aren't happy for me. that is hurtful. Not that I have much of an ego to feel hurt, none the less a slight feeling of hurt arose.
I am letting you know, not to glorify myself, as I am nothing, God is everything and any sense of me thats left is simply a pattern that flahsed before the eye of eternity. But I am letting you know to show the value of spiritual practice on the path of awakening. I would never have made it here without it.
I want people to know what spiritual practice can lead to, if one simply applies oneself to it. I mean, men build space ships and fly to the moon. How is that we can't learn to recognize the wiles of the ego and see past them? the answer is that we can, most people simply spend their lives chasing other pursuits. Not that there is something necessarily with this, but it does obscure a much better way to live. THe way of peace. Oh it's beautiful.
It's not that I'm not happy for you. It's that I think you are deluding yourself and you'll get a wake up call soon enough. I find it strange that when you get this state you claim you announce it in such a way. It reminds me very much of those in a new romance where they glorify the situation to find out later that it was not the "one".
I'm more than willing to let it all play out. I'm sure we will all see what is going on given a little time.
Oh right, because I couldn't actually be happy, no, it MUST be a delusion. Sorry, deviate is not allowed to feel happy. Its a social taboo. deviate must remain miserable, or he breaks all the unwritten social rules.
in a sense of course I am deluding myself. All life from the persspective of separation is delusional or an illusion in some way. This life is just a game. We each go through or own struggle to realize what we are and it appears to take place in a series of games. in Right now I am playing the post on the shroomery game. But what makes you think I am deluding myself any more than usual? Deluding myself into thinking what? I am happy. Isn't that a miracle in itself? I tell you, it truly does take a miracle to make a person as miserable as I was happy. If you think its delusion, then go ahead, delude yourself into feeling incredibly right now. I'll bet you can't do it. Being able to delude oneself into feeling so much peace seems like something valuable to me. Even if this doesnt last (and I know it wont in the sense that I wont always feel this good, I said I still have a lot of counter egoic work to do) its still better to experience these moments of incredible peace and then go back to being miserable than to just be miserable all the time, wouldn't you say? So again, my experience supports the value of spiritual practice.
Now tell me, where is the delusion? Please make me aware of it, so that my understanding of the truth may deepen.
Never said you're not allowed to feel happy. I'm saying what you call ego death is just a fleeting experience and you will go back to what and who you are day to day carrying only a tiny fragment of what you have experienced back with you. That is unless you are that one in a million or something. That's possible but unlikely. You announced it imo in a most egotistical way as if you had won the lottery or fallen in love. Then you immediately got hurt by my words. This is all telling imo. I've been there and I've seen dozens if not hundreds of others go through this pattern of experience. Just sayin
We will all see with a little time. As I've said.
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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Deviate
newbie
Registered: 04/20/03
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Re: Well, it's finally happening to me now, spiritual awakening [Re: Chronic7]
#19336442 - 12/28/13 10:42 AM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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Ellis Dee said: I say not supress but kill. Strike it down. Though it kill you and wreck your ship and drown her crew. Moby Dick must die.
Is there ever a time wehn I may rest? I get exhausted from striking down thoughts all datQuote:
The Chronic said:
Quote:
CosmicJoke said:


Its nice to hear a report of a realization, and i'm not saying this even applies to Deviates posts, but cosmicjoke has a great point here
Watch It!
The bliss, the elation of feeling free, the premature celebration, if you don't watch it all you get sucked into another new paradigm so easily
I've noticed a paradox, that the most beautiful words tend to spill from a mouth that knows how to be quiet
Deviate, what practice did you use?
Yes, this is one of many premature celebrations. I engage in these because I figure after I reach nirvana there will be no one left to celebrate. It's what adyashanti calls the "ok, i'll be this" snag. basically as one progresses deep into meditation, one finds themselves in states that are very enjoyable and filled with wisdom, yet still far from true liberation. So when one finds themself is such a wonderul state as I have found myself in tonight, rather than progress further and go beyond ego, instead the ego says "this is nice, I'll just be this'. Then it celebrates its new discovery or "spiritual awakening" and makes a little thread on the shroomery just like this one announcing success, only to realize a little later, something is still off. Something is still missing.I know how it works, ive been through it so many times. Only, the grip of my ego is gradually loosening. I am beginning to understand that I cant allow myself to be satisfied with being this or that no matter how appealing it might seem "Behold, I offer you all the kingdoms of the world if you will bow down and worthip me".
But anyway, you asked about my practice? My practice consists of a combination between awareness and devotional practices. In terms of awareness I have been helped greatly by zen teachings and techniques like just sitting as well as adyashanti's "true meditation". Eckhart tolles teachings on the pain body and dissolving it I found very useful and of course most of all Ramana Maharshi's self inquiry which is a simple tool for placing one's attention in the unmanifest.
On the devotional you side you got the basics (I attend mass every week, reciepray daily and study God's word) but in addition to that, I used the prayer of Jesus as described in the way of the pilgrim which was a life changing book for me. This prayer, prayed silently and unceasingly hooked to the rhythm of my breathing and heart rate helped me to reestablish a connection to my heart. It brought love back into my life. I realized that one of its effects, is to tune one into the wisdom of one's own body. This is what happens when you begin to place more attention on your own breathing and heart rate than on your train of thought, a fundamental shift begins to take place in my experience, a shift away from thinking toward being. I find this to be a positive thing because I have found that my body is much wiser than my mind. So that's where the devotional practices and the awareness practices come together and meet.
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Chronic7
Registered: 05/08/04
Posts: 13,679
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Re: Well, it's finally happening to me now, spiritual awakening [Re: Deviate]
#19336459 - 12/28/13 10:47 AM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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Deviate
newbie
Registered: 04/20/03
Posts: 4,497
Last seen: 8 years, 5 months
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Re: Well, it's finally happening to me now, spiritual awakening [Re: Icelander]
#19336525 - 12/28/13 10:57 AM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
Icelander said:
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Deviate said:
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Icelander said:
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Deviate said: Your response indicates you aren't happy for me. that is hurtful. Not that I have much of an ego to feel hurt, none the less a slight feeling of hurt arose.
I am letting you know, not to glorify myself, as I am nothing, God is everything and any sense of me thats left is simply a pattern that flahsed before the eye of eternity. But I am letting you know to show the value of spiritual practice on the path of awakening. I would never have made it here without it.
I want people to know what spiritual practice can lead to, if one simply applies oneself to it. I mean, men build space ships and fly to the moon. How is that we can't learn to recognize the wiles of the ego and see past them? the answer is that we can, most people simply spend their lives chasing other pursuits. Not that there is something necessarily with this, but it does obscure a much better way to live. THe way of peace. Oh it's beautiful.
It's not that I'm not happy for you. It's that I think you are deluding yourself and you'll get a wake up call soon enough. I find it strange that when you get this state you claim you announce it in such a way. It reminds me very much of those in a new romance where they glorify the situation to find out later that it was not the "one".
I'm more than willing to let it all play out. I'm sure we will all see what is going on given a little time.
Oh right, because I couldn't actually be happy, no, it MUST be a delusion. Sorry, deviate is not allowed to feel happy. Its a social taboo. deviate must remain miserable, or he breaks all the unwritten social rules.
in a sense of course I am deluding myself. All life from the persspective of separation is delusional or an illusion in some way. This life is just a game. We each go through or own struggle to realize what we are and it appears to take place in a series of games. in Right now I am playing the post on the shroomery game. But what makes you think I am deluding myself any more than usual? Deluding myself into thinking what? I am happy. Isn't that a miracle in itself? I tell you, it truly does take a miracle to make a person as miserable as I was happy. If you think its delusion, then go ahead, delude yourself into feeling incredibly right now. I'll bet you can't do it. Being able to delude oneself into feeling so much peace seems like something valuable to me. Even if this doesnt last (and I know it wont in the sense that I wont always feel this good, I said I still have a lot of counter egoic work to do) its still better to experience these moments of incredible peace and then go back to being miserable than to just be miserable all the time, wouldn't you say? So again, my experience supports the value of spiritual practice.
Now tell me, where is the delusion? Please make me aware of it, so that my understanding of the truth may deepen.
Never said you're not allowed to feel happy. I'm saying what you call ego death is just a fleeting experience and you will go back to what and who you are day to day carrying only a tiny fragment of what you have experienced back with you. That is unless you are that one in a million or something. That's possible but unlikely. You announced it imo in a most egotistical way as if you had won the lottery or fallen in love. Then you immediately got hurt by my words. This is all telling imo. I've been there and I've seen dozens if not hundreds of others go through this pattern of experience. Just sayin
We will all see with a little time. As I've said.
I think you need to read a bit more carefully. My ego did not die. I stated I still had a great deal of counter egoic work to do. ALl that happened, as I stated in my post, is that I established a connection with my inner self. There is obviously still duality there, there is I and there is my inner self. An enlightened person would not say "I established a connection with my inner self" because enlightenment is the breaking down of the appearance that you are different from yourself. I did not claim to be enlightened or beyond the capacity for hurt feelings or anything of the sort. I underwent a personal transformation, which you have no ability to judge because you have no way knowing where I was before vs where I am now. I have undergone several of these transformations over the past year (due to my sadhana) and they have all been authentic in the sense that they have all lead to lasting changes in my level of awareness. This recent one has been the most significant, because I finally established a conscous connection to my inner self, vs all the previous transformative experiences where I only increased my unconscious connection to my inner self. THere is still a tremendous amount of work to be done for, because I was very mentally unhealthy. I have simply gained a lot more faith that what I am doing is really working and rapidly also, that I am healing, and I just need to continue to listen to my inner self. That is the cause for celebration, its just a milestone on my journey of healing. I am finally awakening.
WHy do you have no faith icelander? Why do you think everything is a delusion? Is it not possible for a person to heal?
Btw you are right that liberation is one in a million, the Bhagavad Gita states exactly that. But what I am trying to say is that there are benefits to spiritual practice long, long before liberation
Edited by Deviate (12/28/13 11:05 AM)
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery



Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
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Re: Well, it's finally happening to me now, spiritual awakening [Re: Deviate]
#19336549 - 12/28/13 11:03 AM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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I have faith in what I see and experience. I've never said everything is a delusion, an illusion maybe. I think some healing can happen. I also think a lot of this sort of thing is self aggrandizing bs or frantic fear based clinging. You have no idea how many such announcements I've heard in eight years here only to see the person crash and burn in a heap of insults and suffering.
Anyway what do you care what I think? You seem to be hell bent on convincing everyone of your authenticity. I said time will tell didn't I? Well what's your hurry to prove me wrong?
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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lessismore
Registered: 02/10/13
Posts: 6,268
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Re: Well, it's finally happening to me now, spiritual awakening [Re: Chronic7]
#19336552 - 12/28/13 11:04 AM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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I dont understand...
you can have nirvana at any time, just notice it
every day, every minute
it is within, and everywhere around you
and you can celebrate it every minute too
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Deviate
newbie
Registered: 04/20/03
Posts: 4,497
Last seen: 8 years, 5 months
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Re: Well, it's finally happening to me now, spiritual awakening [Re: Icelander]
#19336616 - 12/28/13 11:22 AM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
Icelander said: I have faith in what I see and experience. I've never said everything is a delusion, an illusion maybe. I think some healing can happen. I also think a lot of this sort of thing is self aggrandizing bs or frantic fear based clinging. You have no idea how many such announcements I've heard in eight years here only to see the person crash and burn in a heap of insults and suffering.
Anyway what do you care what I think? You seem to be hell bent on convincing everyone of your authenticity. I said time will tell didn't I? Well what's your hurry to prove me wrong?
No hurry I am simply expressing my feelings. My feelings are that first of all for me after undergoing such experiences a I am undergoing, which are uncharted waters for me, a leap into the unknown, it is only natural for me to look for external confirmation that I am on the right track. A part of me is very frigtened, frightened at the prospect of losing myself. That is the function of the guru, to remove the seekers doubts. I dont have a guru, so I post here and I get wonderful feedback from people like the chornic (It was actually one of his posts which set this whole thing in motion) and markosthegnostic who helped me unstuck when I was so badly stuck around thanksgiving (thank you markos) and even you once in a blue moon. I'd be lying if I said nothing youve said has ever helped me.
However, it often feels as though from you I get mostly discouragement. If I had listened to you, I would have turned back and given up a long time ago. THere is something about that resonates deep within me, a certain sadness that is triggered and that is why I feel compelled to challenge you, to expose the fact that freedom is possible, that healing is possible, that awakening is possible because thats what I experience to be true and I feel like your posts are unecessarily negative. Not that I am judging you, I understand that you are simply posting based on your own experiences. I am just challenging your conclusions. But why question my motivations? Does it matter, or is this some sly attempt on your part to prove I am not awakening? And if so, why do that?
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Deviate
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Re: Well, it's finally happening to me now, spiritual awakening [Re: lessismore]
#19336636 - 12/28/13 11:28 AM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
mio said: I dont understand...
you can have nirvana at any time, just notice it
every day, every minute
it is within, and everywhere around you
and you can celebrate it every minute too
Yes yes, a shift in attention is all that is required. I lose attention sometimes and fall back into ego.
Thats why icelanders attempts to psychoanalyze me in his campaign to prove I am delusional are so misquided. Sure he can identify ego in me, its still there, for sure and quite often does it rear its ugly head.
But what cant be measured by my behavior (but which might show up on certain brain scanning techniques) is a major shift in consciousness toward the unmanifest that I have undergone. That is what I am trying to communicate to people.
You just cant measure this based on whether I get hurt feelings or whatever other behavioral barometer you try to use icelander. The fact that you constantly try to do that, to judge everyone who claims some kind of spiritual attainment, is just so misquided. How did you ever go down that road?
I think this is the heart of what bothers me. This is just totally my opinion here, not based on anything but how I feel, but I just think it is wrong to take spiritual seekers, identify ego in them and then try to use that to prove their attainments arent real or that sadhana is a waste of time. I think that is a sick thing to do.
Edited by Deviate (12/28/13 11:31 AM)
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lessismore
Registered: 02/10/13
Posts: 6,268
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Re: Well, it's finally happening to me now, spiritual awakening [Re: Deviate]
#19336682 - 12/28/13 11:38 AM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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Ignore is a good function :-)
I am the controller of my mind, I can chose which information I want and which I dont want
sometimes arguing with the opposite person of yourself is futile
and if he has gotten you to become angry he has actually won
what egodeath ment to me was a reuniting with who I am, my spiritual nature that I had forgotten for a long time definitely worth celebrating :-) just watch it like they say, it creeps in again next day with many illusions "my ego is responsible for everything I am not"
trying to deny our own thoughts,desires,emotions etc. , and even actions
instead embrace them but watch them, they are not who you are, but they can still be helpful when living
I am good enough as I am, I am not perfect, but I try to do my best and always tried to do my best, that is how I could even get to where I am now, learning from mistakes that I didnt know were mistakes at the time
Edited by lessismore (12/28/13 12:04 PM)
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deCypher



Registered: 02/10/08
Posts: 56,232
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Re: Well, it's finally happening to me now, spiritual awakening [Re: Deviate]
#19336718 - 12/28/13 11:47 AM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
Deviate said: I did spiritual practice and as a result the ego has begun to dissolve and lose it's group over the pure being that is simply shedding light on the action the brain typing this. I still have a great deal of counter-egoic work to do before I am totally free, but I have found the connection to my inner self, that I had so deeply longed for, and now I know that as long as I keep paying attention to, and obeying my deepest wisdom, everything will turn out beautifully.
Today, I thank the Lord for his mercy.
Well, I'm glad you're moving out of the depressed state you seemed to be in recently. Hopefully you aren't expecting to permanently dissolve the ego--instead one learns to transcend it by becoming aware of its tricks. It's a useful little beast as much as it can be detrimental and more to the point destroying it completely is impossible. But now at least you'll be able to ride the tiger, rather than have the tiger ride you.
-------------------- We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
 
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OrgoneConclusion
Blue Fish Group



Registered: 04/01/07
Posts: 45,432
Loc: Under the C
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Re: Well, it's finally happening to me now, spiritual awakening [Re: lessismore] 3
#19336905 - 12/28/13 12:33 PM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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Do what you love at all times :-)
That is a great directive! Ted Bundy loved killing young women, and pedo priests - well, you get the picture.
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Ellis Dee
Archangel



Registered: 06/29/01
Posts: 13,104
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Last seen: 4 years, 11 months
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Re: Well, it's finally happening to me now, spiritual awakening [Re: OrgoneConclusion] 1
#19336949 - 12/28/13 12:47 PM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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never mind, must be hallucinating.
"There is nothing either good nor evil but thinking makes it so." - William Shakespeare
-------------------- "If the foundations be destroyed, what can the righteous do."-King Solomon And there was war in heaven: Michael and his angels fought against the dragon; and the dragon fought and his angels,
Edited by Ellis Dee (12/28/13 01:06 PM)
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OrgoneConclusion
Blue Fish Group



Registered: 04/01/07
Posts: 45,432
Loc: Under the C
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Re: Well, it's finally happening to me now, spiritual awakening [Re: Ellis Dee]
#19336985 - 12/28/13 12:54 PM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
You believe those things are wrong?
Hallucinating words not written, may or may not be wrong, but it certainly is weak.
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery



Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
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Re: Well, it's finally happening to me now, spiritual awakening [Re: Deviate] 1
#19337030 - 12/28/13 01:08 PM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
Deviate said:
Quote:
Icelander said: I have faith in what I see and experience. I've never said everything is a delusion, an illusion maybe. I think some healing can happen. I also think a lot of this sort of thing is self aggrandizing bs or frantic fear based clinging. You have no idea how many such announcements I've heard in eight years here only to see the person crash and burn in a heap of insults and suffering.
Anyway what do you care what I think? You seem to be hell bent on convincing everyone of your authenticity. I said time will tell didn't I? Well what's your hurry to prove me wrong?
No hurry I am simply expressing my feelings. My feelings are that first of all for me after undergoing such experiences a I am undergoing, which are uncharted waters for me, a leap into the unknown, it is only natural for me to look for external confirmation that I am on the right track. A part of me is very frigtened, frightened at the prospect of losing myself. That is the function of the guru, to remove the seekers doubts. I dont have a guru, so I post here and I get wonderful feedback from people like the chornic (It was actually one of his posts which set this whole thing in motion) and markosthegnostic who helped me unstuck when I was so badly stuck around thanksgiving (thank you markos) and even you once in a blue moon. I'd be lying if I said nothing youve said has ever helped me.
However, it often feels as though from you I get mostly discouragement. If I had listened to you, I would have turned back and given up a long time ago. THere is something about that resonates deep within me, a certain sadness that is triggered and that is why I feel compelled to challenge you, to expose the fact that freedom is possible, that healing is possible, that awakening is possible because thats what I experience to be true and I feel like your posts are unecessarily negative. Not that I am judging you, I understand that you are simply posting based on your own experiences. I am just challenging your conclusions. But why question my motivations? Does it matter, or is this some sly attempt on your part to prove I am not awakening? And if so, why do that?
You get to feel anyway you want about what I say. I question your motivations because this shit is of interest to me. I get to find out if I'm correct in my assessment of your proclamations.
None of this is of much consequence to me. I'm just entertaining myself as I watch the world go by. I figure you are old enough to take care of yourself. If you aren't then life can get rid of you early on. It happens every second millions of times. Nothing to get into a huff about.
I don't see any of what I've said to you as negative. I see it as realistically skeptical of someones bold claims. I don't treat you any different than anyone else here. As I said time will tell. If I'm wrong then I'll check in with my beliefs and question their validity. And that's it.
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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Icelander
The Minstrel in the Gallery



Registered: 03/15/05
Posts: 95,368
Loc: underbelly
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Re: Well, it's finally happening to me now, spiritual awakening [Re: lessismore]
#19337037 - 12/28/13 01:11 PM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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Ignore is a good function :-)
Right then you don't have to hear anything that challenges your beliefs.
Not that you will see this reply.
-------------------- "Don't believe everything you think". -Anom. " All that lives was born to die"-Anom. With much wisdom comes much sorrow, The more knowledge, the more grief. Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC
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hmmn


Registered: 01/09/13
Posts: 372
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Re: Well, it's finally happening to me now, spiritual awakening [Re: Ellis Dee] 1
#19337076 - 12/28/13 01:25 PM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
Ellis Dee said: >>>>>that is hurtful.
Beware not of Icelander. I say unto you, thou seeker... Instead beware of Deviate. Beware of Deviate! BEWARE OF DEVIATE!!!!
For Icelander can not harm your. Only Deviate can harm Deviate and thats really only the perception of harm anyway. Ego puts up the struggle. Ego feels the hurt. I have nothing left that hurts, for I am pure and holy, an enlightened buddha. For when you see me, you should kill me. Strike me down!!! That is likened unto the directions to the closest gas station, in two blocks turn left and so I say unto you, strike me down!!!! For that is the first step, to destroy the ego you must kill it where you find it. To battle like noble Arjuna, like noble Captain Ahab in his hunt for Moby Dick!!! EVER ONWARD!!!! The white whale you seek will destroy you with it!!!! And that is what the sages mean when they say they have lost everything and gained nothing. For I am nothing. I had everything but no more. For the ego will thrash for the ego will hurt for the ego will bleed. For the ego is Moby Dick and that white whale is you!!!!!!!
Praise the lord!
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cbub
it


Registered: 10/17/10
Posts: 1,412
Last seen: 6 years, 20 days
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Re: Well, it's finally happening to me now, spiritual awakening [Re: Deviate]
#19337077 - 12/28/13 01:26 PM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
Deviate said:
Quote:
Icelander said: I have faith in what I see and experience. I've never said everything is a delusion, an illusion maybe. I think some healing can happen. I also think a lot of this sort of thing is self aggrandizing bs or frantic fear based clinging. You have no idea how many such announcements I've heard in eight years here only to see the person crash and burn in a heap of insults and suffering.
Anyway what do you care what I think? You seem to be hell bent on convincing everyone of your authenticity. I said time will tell didn't I? Well what's your hurry to prove me wrong?
No hurry I am simply expressing my feelings. My feelings are that first of all for me after undergoing such experiences a I am undergoing, which are uncharted waters for me, a leap into the unknown, it is only natural for me to look for external confirmation that I am on the right track. A part of me is very frigtened, frightened at the prospect of losing myself. That is the function of the guru, to remove the seekers doubts. I dont have a guru, so I post here and I get wonderful feedback from people like the chornic (It was actually one of his posts which set this whole thing in motion) and markosthegnostic who helped me unstuck when I was so badly stuck around thanksgiving (thank you markos) and even you once in a blue moon. I'd be lying if I said nothing youve said has ever helped me.
However, it often feels as though from you I get mostly discouragement. If I had listened to you, I would have turned back and given up a long time ago. THere is something about that resonates deep within me, a certain sadness that is triggered and that is why I feel compelled to challenge you, to expose the fact that freedom is possible, that healing is possible, that awakening is possible because thats what I experience to be true and I feel like your posts are unecessarily negative. Not that I am judging you, I understand that you are simply posting based on your own experiences. I am just challenging your conclusions. But why question my motivations? Does it matter, or is this some sly attempt on your part to prove I am not awakening? And if so, why do that?
Spoiler alert! Everyone plays their part and in the end you are left with realization that what you are is the result of everything played out exactly as it has. Everything was necessary and you feel equal gratitude to everyone, understanding that it's all one and the same essence, same intelligence, same being. No judgement, only gratitude. And then you see it's all yourself. And then it's no longer gratitude. The cosmic joke kicks in and you laugh and cry at the same time. What a prank to play on yourself.. all these years. Then you may realize that suddenly there's nobody to blame for the suffering and what you went through was by choice. There's not even forgiving, because there's nothing to forgive. A relief beyond imagination of what relief can feel like. Suddenly a burden is lifted. A burden you never knew you carried. No expectations to fulfill, no obligations toward anyone, shameful moments of the past released, everything that could haunt you gone, no regret. Bliss in the awe of perfection of it all. But wait, this is only the introduction, I'll spare you the spoiling of the rest...
So you may as well let go of an argument with those who wish you well (Icelander), it's really not needed.
-------------------- It's fine.
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Deviate
newbie
Registered: 04/20/03
Posts: 4,497
Last seen: 8 years, 5 months
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Re: Well, it's finally happening to me now, spiritual awakening [Re: Icelander]
#19337307 - 12/28/13 02:29 PM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
Icelander said: Ignore is a good function :-)
Right then you don't have to hear anything that challenges your beliefs.
Not that you will see this reply. 
I dont want to ignore icelander, i like him, thats why my feelings were hurt. I consider icelander a friend (i mean not like a real life friend but a shroomery buddy) and thats why I was hoping he would be happy for me th at I am happy instead of giving me what I felt was a negative, skeptical response. I am beyond the point of having my beliefs challeneged. Beliefs are a children's arena as far as i am concerned. I am into expanding awareness, this awareness is without name and form. it exists in the total absense of beliefs, as in deep sleep and it also exists during waking. Markosthegnostic used to describe it as "transrational", it has little to do with the intellect and it doesnt need to obey the laws of logic but its not irrational either.
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Deviate
newbie
Registered: 04/20/03
Posts: 4,497
Last seen: 8 years, 5 months
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Re: Well, it's finally happening to me now, spiritual awakening [Re: Icelander]
#19337348 - 12/28/13 02:40 PM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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You get to feel anyway you want about what I say. I question your motivations because this shit is of interest to me. I get to find out if I'm correct in my assessment of your proclamations.
No you don't. How would you get to find that out? based on what? You cannot determine my internal experience based on my behavior, certainly not from a few lines of text on the shroomery. I am trying to help you question that assumption, that you are somehow in the position to judge me, it's like you want to stamp people as "enlightened"/"not enlightened" or something, according to your standards, which are simply based on your past experiences. I am not a liberated soul and just because I have undergone an awakening of sorts doesn't mean all my old quirks and and negative traits are suddenly. It doesn't mean I don't fall into the grips of my ego still. It doesn't mean a whole lot of anything behavioral wise at this time. Hopefully I will learn to integrate this new state of consciousness and rebuild my personality around it. But even if I dont (and I coudl choose not to, I could choose to spend the rest of my life watching tv. Of course I wont do that, but I could and that would prove nothing).
Quote:
None of this is of much consequence to me. I'm just entertaining myself as I watch the world go by. I figure you are old enough to take care of yourself. If you aren't then life can get rid of you early on. It happens every second millions of times. Nothing to get into a huff about.
I don't see any of what I've said to you as negative. I see it as realistically skeptical of someones bold claims. I don't treat you any different than anyone else here. As I said time will tell. If I'm wrong then I'll check in with my beliefs and question their validity. And that's it.
I am not making any bold claims though. I am not claiming to be enlightened. ALl I am claiming that spiritual practices work, for me at least. THis has been known for thousands of years. Also, the other thing you dont seem to get is that this is a personal transformation for me, its a personal awakening. My new state of consciousness might be an awareness that is actually lower than your awareness or the awareness of many other people on this planet. You see I had fallen into a very low state of consciousness because I was responding to pain and trauma in my life purely by running from it rather than facing it. I was becoming more unconscious rather than more conscious in life as a response to pain.
With the help of spiritual practices, i reversed that process. Now pain is a source of growth for me, it is making me more conscious and expanding my awareness instead of the opposite. I awakened out of the existential slumber i was in for the 10 years and remembered more or less who I was. My state right now isnt some super spiritual state, its just a remembrance of the person i wass before i started responding to life by becoming unconscious. I have finally awakened from that slumber. its unfortunate that you think you know better than i do about my own personal struggles and growth when youve never even met me.
Edited by Deviate (12/28/13 02:48 PM)
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deCypher



Registered: 02/10/08
Posts: 56,232
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Re: Well, it's finally happening to me now, spiritual awakening [Re: Deviate]
#19337406 - 12/28/13 03:02 PM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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From where I'm standing, you seem kinda defensive. Ice does tend to push people's buttons, granted, but I dunno. Your posts strike me as coming from someone who is not quite secure in their beliefs and seeks to validate their spiritual ideology via approval from others, be it Tony Parsons or any other guru.
I am probably wrong however. No offense intended of course and I only wish you happiness in your journeys. 
-------------------- We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
 
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