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LSDreams
Contemplative Stoner



Registered: 12/05/10
Posts: 1,184
Loc: Stuck in 3rd Dimension
Last seen: 6 years, 9 months
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Anyone Else Feel Like This? ?
#19332861 - 12/27/13 12:43 PM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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Recently ive been noticing that im much happier within my dreams while sleeping than when im participating in my everyday reality. Any assumption I make that fantasizes successful happiness proves to be wrong. My physical body never feels good or healthy, and mentally I dwell on everything thats negative causing me to be stuck in my head all day with looping thoughts of sorrow and hating myself. I always felt like i was one of those people who should of killed themselves a long time ago, but just never did and so now im just "here". My mother said it's from her genes, and that it would devastate her if I did do something like that... and I couldn't do that to her. Not that I could do it anyways because of the coward I am.
I like to think sometimes that maybe there is something positive and possible in this world, some kind of way that I could live without the negativity that has surrounded me all my life. But its just a thought at the back of my mind.
Please do not think i am crying to the community or desiring sympathy. I am only being honest, displaying this here afraid of how someone would judge me in reality if spoken. I guess Im wondering if anyone else thinks this way. Or if anyone has helpful advice would greatly be appreciated. Thanks for listening, and sorry for the dark negativity.
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Plants of Interest ~ Lemon Balm, Cannabis, Ayahuasca, Datura, Salvia divinorum, Tabernanthe iboga, Opium poppy, Kratom, Khat, Coca, Ipomoea tricolor, Psilocybin mushrooms, Peyote ~
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stimpson
a superhero buddha



Registered: 02/08/05
Posts: 1,331
Loc: ny
Last seen: 1 month, 5 days
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Re: Anyone Else Feel Like This? ? [Re: LSDreams]
#19332921 - 12/27/13 01:02 PM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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yeh i feel that way too man. i feel like a waste of a life.
why don't you just get buff and hot, and try to nail hot chicks? damn dude, if i could get any hotter i would totally hit on anything that fucking moves and have sex with as many chicks as i possibly could. that's all i care about, it frickin consumes me. sex sex sex sex sex with hot chicksssssssss
-------------------- uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhmmmm... ... ... ok.
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underfliptown
I suck and you should kill me


Registered: 03/07/11
Posts: 14,344
Last seen: 8 years, 5 months
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Re: Anyone Else Feel Like This? ? [Re: LSDreams]
#19332930 - 12/27/13 01:04 PM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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For me dreams are almost ALWAYS better. Why wouldn't they be. The saying goes: in your dreams.
Seriously though, maybe its a bad thing but who knows. Eventually i guess a good goal to have is to make your waking life better.
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stimpson
a superhero buddha



Registered: 02/08/05
Posts: 1,331
Loc: ny
Last seen: 1 month, 5 days
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yeh n it sucks cuz, i feel like any chick i think is hot is automatically too good for me. like they are too hot, and would be "settling" for me, or "doing me a favor" instead of actually liking me. also, i wouldn't want to have a kid with a hot chick... i would just fuck up their genes and make their progeny a piece of shit! fuck!
i guess what WOULD be the enlightened thing to do would be to have a kid with a chick that is in worse shape than me, so i could improve her genes. like if i met a girl with a really good personality... but then, i just wouldn't be turned on and i probably wouldn't be able to fucking stand her and be ashamed of my child anyway.
so... what the fuck should i do? i guess i'm just going to let myself die and let the ugly chick die too and make way for the hotter chicks. lolol
sucks to be me!
-------------------- uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhmmmm... ... ... ok.
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The Doobie Dude


Registered: 04/28/13
Posts: 13,498
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Re: Anyone Else Feel Like This? ? [Re: stimpson]
#19333077 - 12/27/13 01:47 PM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
stimpson said: yeh i feel that way too man. i feel like a waste of a life.
why don't you just get buff and hot, and try to nail hot chicks? damn dude, if i could get any hotter i would totally hit on anything that fucking moves and have sex with as many chicks as i possibly could. that's all i care about, it frickin consumes me. sex sex sex sex sex with hot chicksssssssss
Congrats you finally hit puberty
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"There are a million reasons to drink and one just popped into my head. If a man can't drink when he's living how the Hell can he drink when he's dead?" - Irish Limerick I PLURed once because it was PLUR or die. - D.M.T.
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Rhizohunter
myco-nerd



Registered: 04/22/11
Posts: 7,894
Last seen: 5 years, 3 months
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Re: Anyone Else Feel Like This? ? [Re: LSDreams]
#19333124 - 12/27/13 02:03 PM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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Yeah, I have felt the same way you do for a long time. I also discovered lucid dreaming, which makes it ten times harder to get out of bed in the morning.
Life is just so much better in the dream world, and when I finally force myself to get up and deal with the reality that is my life I get depressed.
Exercise is helpful to your self esteem and may help you feel better. I am still trying to kick myself in the ass to start again.
Getting stuck in ruts sucks.
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underfliptown
I suck and you should kill me


Registered: 03/07/11
Posts: 14,344
Last seen: 8 years, 5 months
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Re: Anyone Else Feel Like This? ? [Re: stimpson]
#19333127 - 12/27/13 02:03 PM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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There is a lot more to add to the gene pool than physical attrativeness. Think about that.
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andrewmurray86
Θεολογος




Registered: 02/05/13
Posts: 1,120
Loc: Hunter Valley, NSW
Last seen: 6 years, 1 month
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Kinda sounds like depression OP, see your GP.
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lessismore
Registered: 02/10/13
Posts: 6,268
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Re: Anyone Else Feel Like This? ? [Re: LSDreams]
#19333165 - 12/27/13 02:18 PM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
LSDreams said: Recently ive been noticing that im much happier within my dreams while sleeping than when im participating in my everyday reality. Any assumption I make that fantasizes successful happiness proves to be wrong. My physical body never feels good or healthy, and mentally I dwell on everything thats negative causing me to be stuck in my head all day with looping thoughts of sorrow and hating myself. I always felt like i was one of those people who should of killed themselves a long time ago, but just never did and so now im just "here". My mother said it's from her genes, and that it would devastate her if I did do something like that... and I couldn't do that to her. Not that I could do it anyways because of the coward I am.
I like to think sometimes that maybe there is something positive and possible in this world, some kind of way that I could live without the negativity that has surrounded me all my life. But its just a thought at the back of my mind.
Please do not think i am crying to the community or desiring sympathy. I am only being honest, displaying this here afraid of how someone would judge me in reality if spoken. I guess Im wondering if anyone else thinks this way. Or if anyone has helpful advice would greatly be appreciated. Thanks for listening, and sorry for the dark negativity. 
body and mind feels best without adding anything so I rarely take drugs, and sometimes I fast for a day or more lucid dreaming is the ultimate trip and works best without adding anything, I like to explore that i.e.
do what you love know what you love when was the last time I was happy and why? repeat, be happy
your problem is likely too little nature I take a walk in nature daily and have houseplants/pets
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The Doobie Dude


Registered: 04/28/13
Posts: 13,498
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Quote:
underfliptown said: There is a lot more to add to the gene pool than physical attrativeness. Think about that.
Looks, intelligence and power are the only 3 things really
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"There are a million reasons to drink and one just popped into my head. If a man can't drink when he's living how the Hell can he drink when he's dead?" - Irish Limerick I PLURed once because it was PLUR or die. - D.M.T.
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k00laid
NEMO


Registered: 05/03/10
Posts: 19,636
Last seen: 6 months, 4 days
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Re: Anyone Else Feel Like This? ? [Re: LSDreams]
#19336565 - 12/28/13 11:07 AM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
LSDreams said: Thanks for listening, and sorry for the dark negativity. 
Quote:
When therapy begins, the patient already possesses a complex of motives and mechanisms which have proven more or less inadequate and while the forms and techniques employed in treatment may vary widely, depending upon the theoretical outlook of the therapist, there is nevertheless an underlying process which is common to all psychotherapeutic progress. It might be summarized in the following steps:
The patient must realize that his present methods of behaving are inadequate and unsatisfying to him personally. He must develop sufficiently strong motivation to carry him through the difficult and painful process of coming to understand and accept himself. On the basis of this self-understanding, he must learn how to alter his
http://www.maps.org/ritesofpassage/lsdhandbook.html#19
read this.
you can change yourself without the LSD
but it helps.
-------------------- AMU - AMU Q & A - MyVideo Teks!
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underfliptown
I suck and you should kill me


Registered: 03/07/11
Posts: 14,344
Last seen: 8 years, 5 months
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You sure about that?
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Synthe
Gatorade me, bitch!



Registered: 11/10/12
Posts: 7,961
Loc: Three bags of Funyuns
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Quote:
The Doobie Dude said:
Quote:
stimpson said: yeh i feel that way too man. i feel like a waste of a life.
why don't you just get buff and hot, and try to nail hot chicks? damn dude, if i could get any hotter i would totally hit on anything that fucking moves and have sex with as many chicks as i possibly could. that's all i care about, it frickin consumes me. sex sex sex sex sex with hot chicksssssssss
Congrats you finally hit puberty
He has an '05 reg date
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Patchouli_Savage

Registered: 12/26/13
Posts: 714
Loc: Somewhere between here an...
Last seen: 4 minutes, 5 seconds
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Re: Anyone Else Feel Like This? ? [Re: LSDreams]
#19336628 - 12/28/13 11:27 AM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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I definitely have my dark days also. Lucid dreaming has helped me to feel better in my waking life, especially when with each Lucid Dream I am able to remain stable, keep better control, stay lucid longer, and actually think up interesting things to do besides just have sex with the first attractive person I run into.
It also helps to do the reality checks and everything throughout the day simply because it's something you're being mindful enough to do and it's something you're doing for yourself.
When I start to feel depressed it helps to get plenty of fresh air, (or at least more than I was getting getting) and to make a list of 3-5 things I am grateful for every day. The more consecutive days I make the list, the longer the list gets, the more I appreciate the present day to day things, the less I am stuck in a fantasy world while my physical body floats through the day on auto-pilot, the better I feel about the day to day little things, because life is about the little things. When I am able to appreciate those little things the dark self-hating thoughts are fewer and the ones that slip through are quieter and more easily dismissed.
It is no doubt in my genes also, intensified by life experiences. I just roll with it. Some days are better than others. Some ruts run deeper, some longer. What a journey.
-------------------- "You are a ghost driving a meat coated skeleton made from stardust. What do you have to be scared of?"
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LSDreams
Contemplative Stoner



Registered: 12/05/10
Posts: 1,184
Loc: Stuck in 3rd Dimension
Last seen: 6 years, 9 months
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Thanks for the wisdom guys, these episodes usually occur from an overwhelming event as I know. Recently my job has been the root cause to my negativity. Just me over-thinking everything, doing the best I can possibly do and yet still not feeling sufficient enough. I told them that the job isn't for me and now I only have til January 5th of this nightmare I live. I found myself anxious both at work and at home... just kept thinking "you just have to make it through the end of today" then when I would get through that day, I would come home I would basically sit around counting down the dreaded hours of freetime I have left before I have to go back into the place that I hate.
I have never before been this encumbered by stress and endured depression. In my moments of clear focused thinking I concluded that practices that produces such tremendous amounts of overwhelming stress are in no way worth the rewarding benefits on an everyday daily basis.
Exhale that Stress, and Inhale the Happiness
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Plants of Interest ~ Lemon Balm, Cannabis, Ayahuasca, Datura, Salvia divinorum, Tabernanthe iboga, Opium poppy, Kratom, Khat, Coca, Ipomoea tricolor, Psilocybin mushrooms, Peyote ~
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Viol
sassy frassy lassie



Registered: 10/16/13
Posts: 136
Last seen: 7 years, 5 months
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Re: Anyone Else Feel Like This? ? [Re: LSDreams]
#19344407 - 12/30/13 12:49 AM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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It really took a lot of guts to post this, OP. I have been experiencing the same feelings for a while now, the constant overthinking, always living in my mind. Dreaming was the one comfort I truly had, but even that seems to be leaving me, as my dreams have been much too abstract and nonsensical (even for me) lately. I don't lucid dream much anymore, but my daydreaming does help to chase away the sorrow, if only temporarily. Sometimes it seems like the most beautiful thing that could happen is for me to sleep and not wake up at all. But I know that it's bullshit, and that those feelings are fleeting. I must never let my inner demons take over.
Anxiety really can be very emotionally crippling. I fear I may have had a wee nervous breakdown not too long ago, but I've learned to accept that my doubts and my worries are a part of me always. I just wish sometimes I didn't let that affect my relationships with people I care deeply for. Perhaps I'm too insecure. I try to look at myself objectively but can only focus on the negative. The aggression within, the darkness, even though it's not all me. I don't know. It's exhausting when all you seem to do all the time is think and wonder, always second guessing. I know I shouldn't.
Sorry for going on, I'm probably making no sense, but I do want you to know that you are definitely not alone in these thought patterns. I hope you can find some peace soon. Things will look up. There's a new year approaching, so many possibilities. All my best wishes to you, my friend.
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LSDreams
Contemplative Stoner



Registered: 12/05/10
Posts: 1,184
Loc: Stuck in 3rd Dimension
Last seen: 6 years, 9 months
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Re: Anyone Else Feel Like This? ? [Re: Viol]
#19356651 - 01/01/14 11:48 PM (10 years, 29 days ago) |
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Quote:
Viol said: It really took a lot of guts to post this, OP. I have been experiencing the same feelings for a while now, the constant overthinking, always living in my mind. Dreaming was the one comfort I truly had, but even that seems to be leaving me, as my dreams have been much too abstract and nonsensical (even for me) lately. I don't lucid dream much anymore, but my daydreaming does help to chase away the sorrow, if only temporarily. Sometimes it seems like the most beautiful thing that could happen is for me to sleep and not wake up at all. But I know that it's bullshit, and that those feelings are fleeting. I must never let my inner demons take over.
Anxiety really can be very emotionally crippling. I fear I may have had a wee nervous breakdown not too long ago, but I've learned to accept that my doubts and my worries are a part of me always. I just wish sometimes I didn't let that affect my relationships with people I care deeply for. Perhaps I'm too insecure. I try to look at myself objectively but can only focus on the negative. The aggression within, the darkness, even though it's not all me. I don't know. It's exhausting when all you seem to do all the time is think and wonder, always second guessing. I know I shouldn't.
Sorry for going on, I'm probably making no sense, but I do want you to know that you are definitely not alone in these thought patterns. I hope you can find some peace soon. Things will look up. There's a new year approaching, so many possibilities. All my best wishes to you, my friend.
Thanks for your input. In no way was it confusing, alot of it truly applies to me also. In fact, it would seem I wrote that statement myself it applies so perfectly.
We contemplate things way more deeply than most people, and although it may not seem beneficial at most times, the times when you can just sit think are amazing. I wish you positive vibes, and hope you can keep happy.
Unfortunately im at an unbearable low this new year because I wrecked my dads car last night, and then my poor old pup died this morning
The best thing I can do right now, is to not think about anything.
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Plants of Interest ~ Lemon Balm, Cannabis, Ayahuasca, Datura, Salvia divinorum, Tabernanthe iboga, Opium poppy, Kratom, Khat, Coca, Ipomoea tricolor, Psilocybin mushrooms, Peyote ~
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