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OfflineJPDancer
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Registered: 07/03/13
Posts: 424
Last seen: 6 years, 8 months
Girl with a boyfirend? what do
    #19330553 - 12/26/13 08:46 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

So there is this chick I've seen around town for like two years. She works at a gas station. Always greeted me with the warmest smiles ever and just seemed like a genuine nice person.

I was always to scared to ask her out. She seemed too good. I went through a real bad time, and just her aura of genuine sweetness scared me away cause I felt like such a bummer for the longest time.

So fast forward 2 years of just chit chat and friendly exchanges, I'm feeling much better, comfortable with who I am and know I'm a good person, making me more comfortable and slightly more sociable/outgoing. I bumped into her a few times within a week, my work and hers, had some really good/comfortable social exchanges, and she added me on facebook. I see her a time or two after that, and still all good stuff, she is just on a wavelength that attracts me to her, seems like such an awesome person all-around, and being beautiful on top of that, wow.

So I had a concert coming up for DSO(a grateful dead tribute band who I see every time they tour in the northeast), and thought she would be a person who would generally gel well with the scene and have a good time, even if she didn't know the music. I contacted her through facebook(no phone #), and told her all the above things like you just seem like this real genuine sweet person and I think you would enjoy this. Unfortunately she started officially dating somebody like a month prior, so I also made sure to throw in "i know you have a b/f but you just seem like somebody worth knowing". Which is the truth, I would like to start filling my life with good people again.

We had an awesome time just being friendly, I made sure I didn't do or push anything sexual. It was a 2 hour drive so we got to talk alot. Her b/f is kinda long distance in school, so they see each other every two weeks and it just sounded like the whole situation kinda bummed her out, and she also mentioned it was weird when they did see eachother cause they spent such long times apart she didn't ever know what they should do when together, and he never gave any honest ideas or suggestions.

So there was a thing or two besides that, all pointing towards she doesn't totally dig the relationship, but I just listened and tried to emphasize, and never tried to bash or destroy it.

So after that night we started texting. we'll text for a few days straight then stop for a day or two. I see thing's that make me think of her and send her a pic and we'll wind up texting all day, or she'll do likewise.

But this is where my confusion sets in. Cause she is just awesome and I never really text girls like that unless I'm interested, but I really don't want to be deliberately trying to sabotage a relationship. :feelssadman:

I also just asked her to go to another show in 4 days and she responded with extreme enthusiasm, a definite hell yeah if her money is in place.

So basically I'm confused on how to interact with her because I do WANT her, but also she's the type of person I would like to be friends with if i couldn't have her. So I don't know if I should continue not being blunt about my feelings until her seemingly doomed relationship ends, or just look out for me and put them out there now and see how she responds.

I DONT KNOW


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InvisibleLynnch
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Registered: 04/29/09
Posts: 7,886
Re: Girl with a boyfirend? what do [Re: JPDancer]
    #19330632 - 12/26/13 09:09 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Just keep doing what you're doing man. Being blunt about your feelings is a good way to come off as trying to sabotage her relationship to get with her. You get the 'oh jeeze, I really like you but.. I couldn't do that to him..' awkwardness.
There's nothing wrong with chilling with a girl you are kinda attracted to.. and if things naturally develop between you two and something happens, well, these things happen. Make it clear you like her, but don't push too hard. It's up to her to give you an opening.


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OfflineJPDancer
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Registered: 07/03/13
Posts: 424
Last seen: 6 years, 8 months
Re: Girl with a boyfirend? what do [Re: Lynnch]
    #19330739 - 12/26/13 09:37 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

I LIKE THAT ADVICE!

mainly because I think that's what I would do anyways. I would feel like a piece of shit trying to deliberately separate her from her boyfriend. But I'm also just unwilling to stop communicating with her, because she makes me feel good(and I think i do the same for her!)

Hopefully she'll be over this other guy soon.


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OfflineHeroMike
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Re: Girl with a boyfirend? what do [Re: JPDancer]
    #19331095 - 12/26/13 11:11 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

DMHSB


Just kidding , I'd just keep doing what your doing . While continuing to do what your doing just through in some extra manlyness from time to time .I.E :  Make decisions without asking what she thinks , not on everything , but the "right things" . If you find yourself in a position where she is sitting very close to you , don't hesitate throw your arm around her casually and be generally reciprocal of affection without seeming like you want it from her. If shes like whoa hey , I have a bf then be like "oh sorry , to be honest we are so natural around each other most of the time its easy to forget where the lines are ".

Somewhere with your communication and constant presence physical boom shacka lacka will take place or it won't . Key is not to force it while not closing yourself off .


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Offlinesanchothestoner
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Re: Girl with a boyfirend? what do [Re: HeroMike]
    #19332272 - 12/27/13 09:31 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

You seem like you're coming off as a chiller, so that's good.  Just be yourself.  Who knows, maybe she'll start crushin on ya and dump that other dude :yesnod:


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I fucking hate you... God damn, I love you...
But we both know if we stick together, we'll just tear ourselves apart
You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy, when skies are grey
You are my heroin, but there's an abscess... God damn, I miss the vein!


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OfflineJPDancer
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Last seen: 6 years, 8 months
Re: Girl with a boyfirend? what do [Re: sanchothestoner]
    #19332735 - 12/27/13 11:58 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

BUT I DON'T WANA BE CHILL I WANA PROFESS MY UNDYING LOVE!!!!

:goodluckwiththat2:

nah i am being chill more so than usual, I make sure I only text her if I have something to say and not everyday. I've scared off women before by being over eager. But she's not just beautiful woman, she's a beautiful person, so gotta play it right!


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OfflinePatlal
You ask too many questions
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Re: Girl with a boyfirend? what do [Re: JPDancer] * 1
    #19334178 - 12/27/13 07:26 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

It isn't because there's a goaltender that you can't score


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OfflineJPDancer
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Registered: 07/03/13
Posts: 424
Last seen: 6 years, 8 months
Re: Girl with a boyfirend? what do [Re: Patlal]
    #19334579 - 12/27/13 09:15 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Patlal said:
It isn't because there's a goaltender that you can't score



what :llamastare:


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InvisibleLynnch
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Registered: 04/29/09
Posts: 7,886
Re: Girl with a boyfirend? what do [Re: JPDancer]
    #19334754 - 12/27/13 10:19 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Ugh, say it right: Just because there's a goalie doesn't mean you can't score.


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OfflineJPDancer
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Registered: 07/03/13
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Last seen: 6 years, 8 months
Re: Girl with a boyfirend? what do [Re: Lynnch] * 1
    #19334873 - 12/27/13 10:59 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

LOL ok I got it when lynch said it.

I thought patlal was spewing some bullshit about a goat-lender. :confused:

you also can't score if you aren't trying to? I don't know for sure if I could. But if I did, she'd be ruined. If she could fuck over one dude like that, why not me?


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OfflineSyle
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Registered: 10/16/05
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Re: Girl with a boyfirend? what do [Re: JPDancer]
    #19335913 - 12/28/13 07:51 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Meh, I don't see anything wrong with you putting in your time while her other relationship falls by the wayside. Just don't pressure her into ending it; she'll see right through that shit.

Also, we are only getting your side of the story here. Make sure you're honest with yourself about this girl and that you're not justifying all these "moves" you're making just to get into her pants.

One thing I've learned from the girls I've chased is that the ones who cheat/throw guys to the side for better opportunities have a very high chance of repeating it. Not saying that this chick will, but if she did it to this guy to get with you, why wouldn't she do it to you to get with a different/"better" guy?

Just my 2 cents


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https://kenaisigh.bandcamp.com/ <- Just completed the 2021 RPM challenge for February - An EP in one month (5 songs or 20 minutes). Check it out!


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InvisibleVivaLaMushie
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Re: Girl with a boyfirend? what do [Re: JPDancer]
    #19343179 - 12/29/13 07:34 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

You seem like a cool dude OP, I'm sure in some time she will end up being your gf.


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Offlineevileye001
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Registered: 02/23/13 Happy 11th Shroomiversary!
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Re: Girl with a boyfirend? what do [Re: VivaLaMushie]
    #19344028 - 12/29/13 10:43 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)



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we are the universe contemplating its self.



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OfflineMescalean
Burke is love, burke is life.


Registered: 01/18/12
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Re: Girl with a boyfirend? what do [Re: evileye001]
    #19346243 - 12/30/13 01:06 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Try and sabatoge a relationship, deal with the consequences. You know full well she has a boyfriend. Usually boyfriends don't take kindly to someone trying to hook up or get with their girlfriend. Sometimes thaf involves aggression. You sound timid, you and aggression won't mix well.


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FREE BURKE


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OfflineBig_Dave
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Registered: 07/07/13
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Re: Girl with a boyfirend? what do [Re: Mescalean]
    #19348564 - 12/30/13 08:57 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

But on that note, the guy she's "with" is out of state and it sounds like the "relationship" started with him being out of state. I'd say it sounds like fair play to me. Do it before you get friendzoned.

Quote:

Mescalean said:
Try and sabatoge a relationship, deal with the consequences. You know full well she has a boyfriend. Usually boyfriends don't take kindly to someone trying to hook up or get with their girlfriend. Sometimes thaf involves aggression. You sound timid, you and aggression won't mix well.




I disagree, usually serious boyfriends don't start a relationship as long distance. Dude fucked up and if you want to look at it in a positive light, I'm sure they both deserve to be a relationships with people they can see more than once every two weeks.

OP you sound like you're interested in something more than just sex and personally I think you'd be doing all three of you a favor by doing you're best to get the girl.


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OfflineJPDancer
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Registered: 07/03/13
Posts: 424
Last seen: 6 years, 8 months
Re: Girl with a boyfirend? what do [Re: Big_Dave]
    #19348735 - 12/30/13 09:35 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Everybody givin some good honest input, that's always appreciated.

I mean yeah dude I'm definitely interested in more than just sex. I haven't had sex in ages. and it's not like I don't get horny but like, I don't I can't put in the time to just fuck dumb bitches I don't like. This is the first girl I've felt like trying with in a lonnnnng time, not because she's prettier than the rest has nicer tits, but because she's a good human being. yaknow?


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OfflineBig_Dave
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Re: Girl with a boyfirend? what do [Re: JPDancer]
    #19348767 - 12/30/13 09:44 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Yeah, thats why you deserve her more than the other guy and why she's better off with you. That's the way I'm reading it at least. It just sounds like you're already putting the time in but if you wait too long you could end up as just friends. :shrug:


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OfflineAll We Perceive
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Re: Girl with a boyfirend? what do [Re: Big_Dave]
    #19348970 - 12/30/13 10:37 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

I've banged quite a few girls with out of state boyfriends.  Boyfriend doesn't mean a fucking thing.  Play her like she's single and sounds like you will be in, pun intended.

Quote:


Yeah, thats why you deserve her more than the other guy and why she's better off with you. That's the way I'm reading it at least. It just sounds like you're already putting the time in but if you wait too long you could end up as just friends. :shrug:





This is a very good point.  Unless you want to wait months/years only to watch her get snatched up by another dude, do not wait for her to break up with her guy and then stabilize herself.  Go for the kill. 


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"plus they atually think jambands are good or sumthing, so they clearly know absolutely nothing about music, clearly lol" -Bassfreak


Edited by All We Perceive (12/30/13 10:39 PM)


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OfflineBU4O
Weed on ^^
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Re: Girl with a boyfirend? what do [Re: All We Perceive]
    #19349738 - 12/31/13 02:52 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

OP they are right don't wait too long...i say do some shit like try and huging,cuddling her when you are close see how it goes...if she's not in to it tell her somthing like -I am sorry i just felt like i need to hug you...:wink::awesomenod:Do that shit and report back may be things escalate quick...:stoned:


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Offlinerickpsfuckyou
listening to Mozzy
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Re: Girl with a boyfirend? what do [Re: BU4O]
    #19351071 - 12/31/13 12:55 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Dude if she is going to shows with u and texting daily, u need to make your move. If she wasnt attracted she wouldnt complain to you about her relationship, talk to you or see you in person...she wants you to man up and create the opening.


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