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dontthinkso
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Registered: 07/24/13
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last time I think
#19327256 - 12/25/13 11:22 PM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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Recently found Psilocybe Allenii locally. Took very small dose once. Decided to up the ante tonight.
I took about 2g at 6:30 pm.
It's been a rough night. The whole thing feels like an ordeal. So much stress. The effects came on within 10 minutes! That has never happened to me before. I have also never had any nausea, but I hurled multiple times on the come up, it was overwhelming.
The rest of the evening has not been particularly enjoyable. Spent about two hours walking around the neighborhood, mostly going "oh fuck, what did I do" and checking my watch to see how much longer I would have to endure the experience. During my walk, stopped at one point and just closed me eyes, and was completely transported into some kind of fractal world. It was overwhelming and uncomfortable and I've spent the rest of the trip basically trying to distract myself from the tripping by walking, humming, singing, thinking.
It's now 10:20 and I don't feel like I've come down much at all, but hope that I start to soon.
The backstory is: I'm an old guy who used to experiment a lot in my teens, and got curious again recently. I think this spells the end of my curiosity. The whole thing is just too stressful. I remember this is why I stopped doing this.
Might check back in later.
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nicechrisman
Interdimensional space wizard



Registered: 11/07/03
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Sounds like you are having a difficult time because your mind is fighting the experience. If you can, you should try doing daily meditation for a week leading up to your next trip, and enter into the trip with the intention of letting go. Put yourself in a safe situation where you can let go. I find my bedroom with the lights out, a candle lit, and some good music to be ideal.
-------------------- "Cosmic Love is absolutelely ruthless and highly indifferent: it teaches its lessons whether you like/dislike them or not." John C. Lily
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dontthinkso
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Registered: 07/24/13
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Quote:
nicechrisman said: Sounds like you are having a difficult time because your mind is fighting the experience.
Definitely true. I am fighting it because it's way more intense than I was planning for, I guess.
While I was walking around I kept trying to think "well, if this is your last time, might as well submit and enjoy it", and I tried to, but honestly, there is something about the experience which is just stressful for me. My body feels like it's in turmoil, and it's hard to relax. In fact, I feel the opposite of relaxed, I feel tension throughout my body. It's rather uncomfortable.
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Roger Wilco
Rusted Identifier

Registered: 06/08/13
Posts: 970
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Maybe you simply ate bad mushrooms.
Are they these ones? http://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Number/19252186
You said that the whole patch was rotten, and those were the least rotten. Perhaps they were not dried properly,and contained some extra toxins from rot. They don't look too nice (not too bad but....).
I've heard of a correlation between potency/bad trips in azzies/cyans mushrooms that have been allowed to blacken and not dried properly.
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AlfredHitchcock
Disco Biscuits



Registered: 02/29/12
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Sounds like Mr. Mushroom's good homie Mary Jane might be just what you need to kick back, relax, and enjoy the experience.
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I'm drivin the Rolls Royce of Psychedelics
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dontthinkso
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Registered: 07/24/13
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Last seen: 7 years, 3 months
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Quote:
Roger Wilco said: Maybe you simply ate bad mushrooms.
Are they these ones? http://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Number/19252186
You said that the whole patch was rotten, and those were the least rotten. Perhaps they were not dried properly,and contained some extra toxins from rot. They don't look too nice (not too bad but....).
I've heard of a correlation between potency/bad trips in azzies/cyans mushrooms that have been allowed to blacken and not dried properly.
I don't think so. Ok, that was kind of trippy.
I actually found some fresh flushes from that same patch that dried nicely. The specimens I ate looked pretty ideal I think.
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Roger Wilco
Rusted Identifier

Registered: 06/08/13
Posts: 970
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Nice. See your tripping, but you know what's up.
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FrozenHappiness
Professional Cereal Box

Registered: 03/01/01
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Loc: Nagoon Lagoon
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I definately agree with nicechrisman about starting a daily meditation routine, even if it is just 10 minutes a day and even if you never decide to trip again.
I get that uncomfortable tension in my body sometimes when I trip; doing some light yoga really helps with releasing that tension which helps me relax.
There is also the option of trying a lower dose if you decide to trip again. I personally think the lower doses are underrated, and even 1.5-2g cubensis doses can give me profound and fantastic experiences.
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dontthinkso
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Quote:
Roger Wilco said: Nice. See your tripping, but you know what's up.
Yeah, it's all starting to ease now. I think a couple beers helped me out, also I'm getting past that "uh oh, is my brain fried forever?" question that I think we have all had from time to time while in the midst of an intense experience.
Ok, I'm starting to feel better now. Thanks guys for listening, whoever you are.
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PrimalSoup
hyperspatial illuminations



Registered: 11/17/09
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Hey, seriously wasting the trip potential if you're just walking around trying to fight it, checking the time to see how much longer it'll be till it's over, shit like that. If you don't want to trip then don't, there's no law to make you. But if you do want to at least get the set and setting right and surrender to it, good things come from that. 
Look, that maybe sounds harsh but I'm not putting you down. I'm 58 and I've been tripping pretty regularly since I was in my twenties. Age has nothing to do with it - preparation, knowing your substances and the proper effective dosage (experiment!), and set and setting are key here. It's easy to forget a lot of that, no foul. But taking one trip after what sounds like a long absence and deciding "no way" is not giving the mushrooms a proper chance. The little fuckers can work wonders if you are open to their power; don't sell it short. 
/rant
PS
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if you stand too close to the machine it'll start to eat youPrimal's simple tested teks and projects: Wheat Prep 2.0 Acidic Tea Tek Potency Project!
Edited by PrimalSoup (12/26/13 12:01 AM)
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dontthinkso
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You're right, no doubt.
Without much explanation, though, I really feel like the purpose of this trip was, amongst several other aspects of my life I'm going to be working on changing, to let me know this is not a place I need to return to anytime soon. Maybe a couple more decades before I decide to come back here. Along with the discomfort I described, there was a mental process that was highly self-critical, and some things were seen in a new light that I hope to work on in the near future. Things about my relationships and so forth.
No disrespect to those who find more in returning to the well more regularly.
Peace.
Edited by dontthinkso (12/26/13 12:26 AM)
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PrimalSoup
hyperspatial illuminations



Registered: 11/17/09
Posts: 13,568
Loc: PNW
Last seen: 1 year, 5 months
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Well, that's kind of hard to fathom - a trip to show you don't need to trip. 
ALL the things you described are just normal parts of tripping, including the "self-critical" mental process. That's one of the single most valuable aspects IME. It shows you what to fix. You work on that, you trip again, it shows you more. Repeat until satisfied. The longer you stay away from it the more of it comes up during that "first" trip, is all. Get back on the horsey and ride baby. 
PS
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if you stand too close to the machine it'll start to eat youPrimal's simple tested teks and projects: Wheat Prep 2.0 Acidic Tea Tek Potency Project!
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Aopocetx
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That sounds horrible. Why did you take it if you were gonna just try to fight the trip the whole time? From the tone of your post I feel like that's what you did.
So yeah, make that your last time until your mindset changes.
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searching



Registered: 06/08/11
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Last seen: 5 months, 28 days
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Re: last time I think [Re: Aopocetx]
#19328924 - 12/26/13 01:39 PM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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You just didn't want to be thrust into a strong trip there's nothing wrong with that. Tripping isn't for everyone and it seems like you've accomplished your goal of remembering why you ended your psychedelic phase. Taking psychedelics is a stressful event until you find your peace in the trip. Finding that peace is what it's all about though because it you have to untangle all of your mental knots first to get there.
If you're done then you're done and that's OK. But have you remembered why you tripped when you were younger? Maybe try tripping again and just lay down and focus on the thoughts instead of distract yourself from them. You might end up with a clearer outlook afterwards. To me that's what it's all about not just seeing pretty colors.
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allseeingike



Registered: 04/06/11
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Re: last time I think [Re: searching]
#19329244 - 12/26/13 03:03 PM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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be careful with weed for me it intensifies my trip insanely and changes my though process and gave me a bad confusing trip with not too nice thoughts and it was not filled with insigths like normal. i had no useful insigths whatsoever it is the only trip good or bad that i have gotten nothing out of the effects where like what you would expect from a shitty movie portraying what people think tripping is like with random thoughs and visuals that just make no sense
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dontthinkso
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Re: last time I think [Re: Aopocetx]
#19330747 - 12/26/13 09:39 PM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
Aopocetx said: That sounds horrible. Why did you take it if you were gonna just try to fight the trip the whole time?
That's kind of like asking someone why they aren't eating a dinner they ordered. Well, it's because they didn't know they wouldn't like it until the plate arrived.
Last night was tough for two main reasons, I think. One was physical, and one was mental. The extremely rapid onset, the vomiting, was followed by an intense "body load" that was very uncomfortable. This made enjoying any of the mental aspects of the trip too difficult.
The second was that the rapid onset scared me - if I was tripping within 15 minutes (and I was), how hard was I going to trip? I had no sitter. I got worried about losing my shit, and paranoia set in. To quell the anxiety I took a walk, and had nervous thoughts the whole way. What if I run into someone I know? What if someone calls the cops on me because I look suspicious? Am I gonna get mugged out here walking around at night by myself? All that shit, which some part of your mind knows is unreasonable but you can't shake it anyway. What if I just totally lose my shit and can't make it home?
There were also periods when I was walking around where I felt more calm. I remember walking by an especially nice light display and getting a good vibe from it, having some Christmas carols pop into my head, and think "everything's fine, why am I stressing like this" but the body discomfort just kept me from staying there mentally.
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dontthinkso
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Re: last time I think [Re: searching]
#19330760 - 12/26/13 09:45 PM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
searching said: You just didn't want to be thrust into a strong trip there's nothing wrong with that. Tripping isn't for everyone and it seems like you've accomplished your goal of remembering why you ended your psychedelic phase. Taking psychedelics is a stressful event until you find your peace in the trip. Finding that peace is what it's all about though because it you have to untangle all of your mental knots first to get there.
If you're done then you're done and that's OK. But have you remembered why you tripped when you were younger? Maybe try tripping again and just lay down and focus on the thoughts instead of distract yourself from them. You might end up with a clearer outlook afterwards. To me that's what it's all about not just seeing pretty colors.
I did it because I'd read about people's experiences with it and it sounded fascinating. And it was. I've had the mystical experiences, the being one with the universe. The "oh fucking wow" moments of melding with visions of infinite complexity while laying in bed and losing myself completely.
And then, at some point, I guess I felt like there wasn't more to learn from it, and these problems with physical discomfort while tripping grew to the point where I just couldn't enjoy the experiences much anymore.
I thought maybe with the very long break, it would be like those earlier experiences, but it wasn't. It was very much like the experiences that led me to give it up.
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PrimalSoup
hyperspatial illuminations



Registered: 11/17/09
Posts: 13,568
Loc: PNW
Last seen: 1 year, 5 months
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Yeah, likely you've got something else to deal with to get past the experiences that "led you to give it up" 'cause those were trying to tell you something, and they'll just keep happening till you figure it out. Been there, done that. 
There's only two choices - leave it altogether or power through it. Improve your set and setting and you could do the latter. I wouldn't ignore the gift of finding actives like that. I took a ten year break once for exactly the kind of reasons you've given. Man am I ever glad I went back to the shrooms after working a lot on what was bothering me when I quit, what kept coming up over and over when I tripped. There is nothing like it. 
PS
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if you stand too close to the machine it'll start to eat youPrimal's simple tested teks and projects: Wheat Prep 2.0 Acidic Tea Tek Potency Project!
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GreySatyr
Pagan-Psyche


Registered: 06/20/13
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You have no peace within yourself.
It's not the mushrooms, it's ultimately you.
-------------------- ...also, go to hell, huh?
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nicechrisman
Interdimensional space wizard



Registered: 11/07/03
Posts: 33,241
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Re: last time I think [Re: GreySatyr]
#19332033 - 12/27/13 07:47 AM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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We all have peace within ourselves, but sometimes it's so covered up by busy "I, Me, Mine" thoughts that it's really hard to connect with it.
-------------------- "Cosmic Love is absolutelely ruthless and highly indifferent: it teaches its lessons whether you like/dislike them or not." John C. Lily
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