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OfflineMarc11
drugs


Registered: 01/10/13
Posts: 280
Last seen: 1 year, 9 months
How common is abuse???
    #19325901 - 12/25/13 03:10 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

My dad has abused me Physically and verbally throughout my whole life. This has really fucked me emotionally. How prevalent is this? Growing up, I thought it was pretty normal. To be honest i'm not really sure. So how common is parent-child abuse?


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OfflineIcyus
KavitārkikasiṃHa
Male


Registered: 11/07/13
Posts: 3,502
Loc: Inbetween.
Last seen: 8 years, 27 days
Re: How common is abuse??? [Re: Marc11]
    #19325919 - 12/25/13 03:15 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

I was never beaten by any of my parents, but both of them, after they divorced, found partners who did.. my mother one never to get physical, but i had gotten quite traumatized by the man.. more so than the lovers of my father.. if one may call them any more than whores..


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And thus begins the  reverse-fusing of our one-dimentional understanding, and adds ever-expanding perspectives, in depth and number; splitting our perception, and in so doing, seemingly irrationally, creates yet more one-ness, with all that ever was, is and will ever be, streching across the infinite, inunderstood concept of everything, percievable and not.


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Anonymous #1

Re: How common is abuse??? [Re: Marc11]
    #19325943 - 12/25/13 03:24 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Same boat, father was emotionally and physically abusive which has left me traumatized... I cover the past up well though, it has made me stoic at the least. Everyday is still a struggle from it since I'm still in constant contact with my parents.


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OfflineTmethylM
Smear in the shale
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Registered: 07/16/12
Posts: 16,431
Loc: Florida
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Re: How common is abuse??? [Re: Anonymous #1] * 2
    #19325973 - 12/25/13 03:35 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

I was beat, and all the rest, doesn't bother me anymore, at one point I allowed it. But I understand that this was just the result of another persons problems, and it doesn't have to effect me. They had a problem, I won't go full circle. All pain is just a misunderstanding. I forgive.


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¯\_(ツ)_/¯


Edited by Tmethyl (12/25/13 03:35 PM)


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Anonymous #2

Re: How common is abuse??? [Re: Tmethyl]
    #19327994 - 12/26/13 08:48 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Until the age of 17 I was abused by my father. He was a raging alcoholic and waited for my older brother to be out before starting on me. He always kept his temper in check if my brother was there (constantly telling me he was his favourite and I was an accident.)

He would keep my up until 3-4 am screaming and yelling at me, kicking the sofa in front of the door so I was trapped in the room with him. He'd tell me that one day he'd poison my food/drink (even now I'm weary of leaving food and drink unattended) or do some other fucked up shit to me.

It got to a point where I'd sleep with a knife under my pillow and I was convinced that one day I'd have to kill him.

It reached a head one night when my dad just flipped, he went crazy and came at me, I really believe he would have killed me if I didn't escape out of a second story window and run away.

My Mum was equally as bad - admittedly my Dad fucked her up to, but she would constantly make suicide attempts, or lock herself in her room for weeks on end.

Somehow I managed to finish school, went to university and have got a good job - but emotionally I feel fucked up. I sometimes feel angry all the time, and I have issues with expressing emotion. I sometimes feel cold and clinical and have trouble connecting with my childhood. I'm totally disconnected from my childhood - it actually feels like my upbringing belongs to someone else.

What's really fucked up is that my Dads been sober for 15 years now, and my relationship with him and my Mum is fairly good - but I can never discuss all the shit with them as my Dad gets angry at me for dragging up the past and my Mum starts crying. I mean I can understand that they are humans, and they probably had a lot of shit going on and didn't realise how their fucked up actions would screw up my life...

I have thought about therapy to try and get back my ability to feel things again.


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OfflineIcyus
KavitārkikasiṃHa
Male


Registered: 11/07/13
Posts: 3,502
Loc: Inbetween.
Last seen: 8 years, 27 days
Re: How common is abuse??? [Re: Anonymous #2]
    #19328042 - 12/26/13 09:07 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

In order for you to feel things.. I would recommend a bad trip or paintherapy.. so there will be easier to overcome the pain of your past.. after that, and only that will you fell alive..

I had a minor psycosis of sorts at the age of fourteen.. I didnt hurt anyone, or myself really.. neither did i hallusinate or have dellusions (.. except for my beliefs forced on me by society)..  however.. I just grew completly numb and panicky.. no fear, but panicky.. I thought I had lost my soul as I became devoid inside.. I kept walking, full speed into doors, face first, while I frankly didnt give a shit, I didnt feel a thing. No happiness, no sorrow, no energy, or tireing.. dead, I though to my assessment at the time.. I wasnt really numb, but senseless to the very core that was I at the time..

later on I visited a woman, a reiki healer, and did nothing but have a chat with her.. she told me how she was abused by her father and how her family had rejected her for leaving.. and some words of the whys and hows.. she told me that she was at peace, and were without grief as we drowe to pick up her child from school. I felt my soul returning, like the words were magic.. thus I got energy and determination to work it through and so I did.. I think it one of the best things anyone have done for me..


--------------------
And thus begins the  reverse-fusing of our one-dimentional understanding, and adds ever-expanding perspectives, in depth and number; splitting our perception, and in so doing, seemingly irrationally, creates yet more one-ness, with all that ever was, is and will ever be, streching across the infinite, inunderstood concept of everything, percievable and not.


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Invisibledemiu5
humans, lol
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Registered: 08/18/05
Posts: 43,948
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Re: How common is abuse??? [Re: Marc11]
    #19328203 - 12/26/13 10:08 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

there's not an appropriate gauge to measure the frequency of abuse, especially as much of it goes unmentioned.



my mother was the main target of my father's physical and emotional abuse, but i was second in line.  i WAS an accident, at least in my father's mind.  there was no clear-cut favoritism between my brother and i, but as far as i know, my brother was never beaten.  he stopped my father from tearing into me with the metal end of a belt one nite (me 8-9, brother ~13) and fully realized what had been happening for years.


compared to some friends of mine, i had it easy.  especially since we didn't live with our father after 1994.  i had friends who got left with their abusive dads because their moms were even shittier/more fucked up/more abusive.


--------------------
channel your inner Larry David


Edited by demiu5 (12/26/13 10:20 AM)


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Offlineempty space
the void


Registered: 12/19/12
Posts: 1,120
Last seen: 6 years, 10 months
Re: How common is abuse??? [Re: demiu5]
    #19328257 - 12/26/13 10:28 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

My dad hit me once or twice but he made the mistake of paying for martial arts classes so it didn't last very long. After reading your stories, I am very very grateful to have had the childhood I had. I wish you all nothing but good vibes. *Hugs*


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OfflineIcyus
KavitārkikasiṃHa
Male


Registered: 11/07/13
Posts: 3,502
Loc: Inbetween.
Last seen: 8 years, 27 days
Re: How common is abuse??? [Re: empty space]
    #19328276 - 12/26/13 10:34 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

.. without death there would be no life ect... so you like tickling then?


--------------------
And thus begins the  reverse-fusing of our one-dimentional understanding, and adds ever-expanding perspectives, in depth and number; splitting our perception, and in so doing, seemingly irrationally, creates yet more one-ness, with all that ever was, is and will ever be, streching across the infinite, inunderstood concept of everything, percievable and not.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
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