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evenbreak
Stranger
Registered: 01/16/11
Posts: 583
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god fucking damn it im sick of being this way how do i stop
#19309626 - 12/21/13 09:34 PM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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i'm just so fucking sick of being the person I am. I have no life. i spend all my free time in solitude. When i'm at my job or at my school, once in a while I connect with people and we have a friendly chat, but it's never deeper than that. Most of the time I'm in a bad mood and it shows in my face and body language and I just don't want to talk to anyone.
It's saturday night and i'm spending another day by myself when I crave social connections and friends and a girlfriend. I tried some hobbies but I always lose interest and go back to playing video games or browsing the internet or watching tv. Back to the same old pattern that i've been in my whole life.
My main issue is my horrible social skills and my self centeredness. I have a lack of interest in other people. I read the book How to win friends and influence people, and one of the first chapters stresses the importance of being genuinely interested in people. Well, the book says nothing about how to actually become interested in people if you're not already.
So how do I stop being an antisocial grumpy loser with no life? I love it when I have a good conversation with someone. I love spending time with people that I connect with and can relate to. But I don't have the skills to get those things, and my interests are so narrow that I can't relate to most people.
help me .
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Mr.PhilCybin
Master Baiter


Registered: 06/13/11
Posts: 11,642
Loc: Gnarnia
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Re: god fucking damn it im sick of being this way how do i stop [Re: evenbreak]
#19309651 - 12/21/13 09:43 PM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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Step one : relax. Breathe.
It sounds to me that are genuinely interested in people or you wouldn't have made this thread. Find out what you're letting put you in a bad mood first. No one enjoys the company of someone who's got bad vibes. Try to see the similarites between you and others rather than differences. It's also going to be a while of awkward interactions, but try to start talking to strangers more.
Social skills aren't something we're born with, we have to get out there and learn them.

-------------------- I'm stupid, Falcon91Wolvrn03 is smart. I'm ugly, Falcon91Wolvrn03 is beautiful. I'm a loser, Falcon91Wolvrn03 is a winner. Someday, I hope to be like Falcon91Wolvrn03 but secretly know I never will.
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vandago



Registered: 07/07/04
Posts: 20,917
Loc: .
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Re: god fucking damn it im sick of being this way how do i stop [Re: evenbreak]
#19310305 - 12/22/13 02:02 AM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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I've been diagnosed with aspergers syndrome...I do find it generally hard to actually connect with people, even when they try to connect with me. Phone conversations end up being one sided because I babble so much, I end up holding the torch too much in social settings and I doubt many people give a real rats ass what I'm talking about.....not only that, but I typically spew garbage out of my mouth, and have absolute terrible body language.....
Have you tried rigorous exercise? It does me WONDERS!!!
If I stay off caffeine, don't smoke cigarettes, eat right, and exercise 3-5 times a week...and I mean hard, not a light jog....I am right as rain....still not a normal human....but I get by just fine ( I used to smash my face into objects pretty frequently....I haven't done that in years. )
I'd keep up with hobbies too.....you surely haven't tried it all yet....and maybe even fuck around on some dating sites, everyone is socially awkward there.
Go to some stand up comedy nights too maybe, everyone is light hearted and having a good time.
I find festivals to be a great place to meet up with people that can tolerate me as well....
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