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psychoanomaly
Ἓν rὸ πᾶν


Registered: 04/22/09
Posts: 1,682
Last seen: 2 years, 3 months
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Re: What are this girl's intentions? Help a *virgin* out [Re: KGB Is Go]
#19340961 - 12/29/13 10:36 AM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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Well, last time we spooned I caressed her side/stomach, and I also had an erection pushing up against her thigh. Maybe something would have happened if I had pushed further. She did seem into it, but ultimately I stopped.
I guess I'm just hestitant to push straight for sex. She said that she wanted to take it slow after our second date, on top of mentioning that she likes to be in control. I also neglected to mention that she's mentioned feeling weird about “taking my innocence” and that she “didn't want it to be like that”·
I'm not sure if I should just move in, or let her set the pace entirely.
I can't really place this girls feelings for me yet. I suppose I'm just a tad confused about where we stand.
This is a girl prone to one night stands and sexual devience [her words]. She's been greatly mistreated in the past... I guess I just don't want to push too hard. It seems as though she is welcoming the slower pace. I suspect it's somewhat comforting to her, as she wants to change the ways she's behaved previously.
That said, I can tell that she's consciously taking things a step further each time we're together...
Another problem I'm having is finding confidencd in my looks. This girl is easily the most attractive female to ever show interest in me, and it just seems too good to be true. I mean, I've been told that I'm cute, but still I struggle to believe it.
-------------------- Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakes. ∞ Are we but a moment found? Or a moment lost, a moment unbound?
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Sleepwalker
Overshoes

Registered: 05/07/08
Posts: 5,503
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Re: What are this girl's intentions? Help a *virgin* out [Re: psychoanomaly]
#19341156 - 12/29/13 11:38 AM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
psychoanomaly said: Another problem I'm having is finding confidencd in my looks. This girl is easily the most attractive female to ever show interest in me, and it just seems too good to be true. I mean, I've been told that I'm cute, but still I struggle to believe it.
You should be thinking about how cute she is. Let her worry about the other side of things. 
I know that can be easier said than done.
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psychoanomaly
Ἓν rὸ πᾶν


Registered: 04/22/09
Posts: 1,682
Last seen: 2 years, 3 months
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Re: What are this girl's intentions? Help a *virgin* out [Re: Sleepwalker]
#19341565 - 12/29/13 01:29 PM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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I definitely have self esteem issues, haha. Maybe even moe than she does!
I suppose I'm just not accustomed to being desired.
I think I need some mushrooms in my life in the near future. I forgot how easy it is to loose perspective and fixate on preconceptions during times like these.
It's definitely very stressful. I'm hoping this relationship will at least form some semblance of stability. I really like this girl. We're similar enough to merit a strong friendship at the very least.
In the end, I need to stop worrying aboutnthe future and simply focus on the present [a task that's exceedingly difficult for me].
-------------------- Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakes. ∞ Are we but a moment found? Or a moment lost, a moment unbound?
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psychoanomaly
Ἓν rὸ πᾶν


Registered: 04/22/09
Posts: 1,682
Last seen: 2 years, 3 months
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Re: What are this girl's intentions? Help a *virgin* out [Re: psychoanomaly]
#19415035 - 01/13/14 10:59 PM (10 years, 17 days ago) |
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So, shortly after my last post, I caught a pretty bad cold and couldn't see her for a week. We've been exchanging texts a little, but have yet to hang out. It's been 17 days since we've seen or spoken to each other.
I'm worried that she may have lost interest in me. Last time I asked to chill, she said that she wasn't feeling up for company. I replied that I understood, and to let me know when she is. I asked again today [4 days later] if she wanted to chill tomorrow or the next day, and have yet to hear a response.
Out of all the times to get sick!
-------------------- Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakes. ∞ Are we but a moment found? Or a moment lost, a moment unbound?
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KGB Is Go
Сталкер



Registered: 09/09/10
Posts: 322
Loc: VIC
Last seen: 3 years, 9 months
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Re: What are this girl's intentions? Help a *virgin* out [Re: psychoanomaly]
#19423977 - 01/15/14 05:34 PM (10 years, 15 days ago) |
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Hard to know what's going on but yeah she may have found someone else or lost interest, as you say; or it could be something else entirely.
Maybe don't bug her about it if she's not really biting but next time you're doing something she'd be interested in (e.g. activity or particular drug), see if she wants to join you. Given you haven't spoken much lately, it may be more appealing to actually have an objective of sorts rather than just 'chilling'.
--------------------
"The guy went axe-happy on a trout farm, he killed 60 fish."
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Dense Cake
Vinyl Freak



Registered: 12/06/13
Posts: 184
Loc: PNW
Last seen: 9 years, 8 days
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Re: What are this girl's intentions? Help a *virgin* out [Re: KGB Is Go]
#19425246 - 01/15/14 10:16 PM (10 years, 15 days ago) |
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I want to relay the thoughts of other posters here. After reading the thread, it sounds like your relationship with this girl is pretty tame.
She definitely wanted you. I don't know about now, but from the earlier days of this thread when you were talking about the spooning and shit, she really wanted to fuck probably. Nothing wrong with the fact that it never happened, or even if it never does.
Hope you two get to hang out again and either continue being friends, or... if more action starts happening in bed, you can totally roll with it if you would like to have sex with her. It sounds like she's a really fucking cool girl who would be open to introducing you to sex, since she knows you are a virgin.
This sounds awesome and I want to hear/read more later, whatever happens. Just remember, always be yourself.
Keep us updated.
--------------------
 When I was a boy, I was afraid to die. When I became a man I was afraid to live. But, when I became a little bit wiser, I became a child who walks with death. Now, I play outside every day in a never ending summer; my glory days never faded. And I smile ironically in the face of my doom.
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psychoanomaly
Ἓν rὸ πᾶν


Registered: 04/22/09
Posts: 1,682
Last seen: 2 years, 3 months
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Re: What are this girl's intentions? Help a *virgin* out [Re: Dense Cake]
#19673213 - 03/09/14 08:08 PM (9 years, 10 months ago) |
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I don't know if anyone's still interested, but I have an update on this situation. We finally got together again, and for the most part, it was a disaster. Let me share.
We arranged to hang out on a Wednesday, and at the last second she, let call her K, suggested that I go out to a bar with her and some "work friends" instead of just catching up (not my cup of tea in any situation). When I got there (after having a panic attack because it took me a full 45 minutes to even find a parking space), I realized that among these friends was her ex, whom she had broken up with recently.
Anyways, it was incredibly awkward, and eventually I resorted to plan B, which was to inebriate myself thoroughly with kratom. To my total surprise, I hit it off really well with her ex (after being kratomized, of course). We seemed to have a weird amount in common, and spent a couple of hours talking about quantum mechanics, gaming, ego loss, favorite music (both share a passion for the same bands) ect -- topics I rarely get to think about with anyone else but myself. I kind of want to see HIM again!
There was some weird synchronicity throughout. One of the other guys there was also pretty cool, but fucked with me the moment I sat down at the bar. Gave me a fake name when I asked, wouldn't let me in his "bubble". It was fucking awkward! It was odd though, because he reminded me a lot of a friend that I had a recent falling out with. Later in the night I learned that they even share the same damn name! We also had a lot in common (lots of ego loss, psychology, and music convo), but he was clearly very insecure, with a bit of an anger problem to boot (like my friend).
But K ended up getting black out drunk and caused a major ruckus (this was ongoing throughout the night), annoying everyone there and making it impossible to interact with her. I guess she had just found out that her step dad had a heart attack and had been hospitalized (the day before our date, how grand universe!), so the drunkenness was understandable to me. Still, I wasn’t about to try and console her in that situation, partially because we hadn’t even seen each other in while, and partially because I suck at group interaction. What was upsetting was being seemingly tricked into seeing her ex. I’m guessing she had ulterior motives of some sort, maybe some sort of ploy to make her ex jealous… I really don’t know. Anyways, she eventually ditched everyone and went home. I went looking for her with her ex, and he informed me that they were still unsure of their relationship, and that I may want to lay off for a while. Also, I should mentioned that before K got black out drunk, she briefly apologized for the situation, and invited me to stay at her place later. Well, that didn't happen! I left after speaking with her ex. On my way home, I reared my car into someone at a traffic light. A pleasant end to a wonderful night.
-------------------- Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakes. ∞ Are we but a moment found? Or a moment lost, a moment unbound?
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Psilopsychic


Registered: 11/04/13
Posts: 305
Loc: Washington
Last seen: 2 months, 7 days
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Re: What are this girl's intentions? Help a *virgin* out [Re: psychoanomaly] 1
#19677636 - 03/10/14 07:08 PM (9 years, 10 months ago) |
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My advice is, if you still have feelings for her, talk to her and let her know that you are there for her to talk to if she needs someone to vent to. Sounds like she is going through some difficult times herself and showing that you are willing to listen to her AFTER she got black out drunk and made a fool of herself may just make her realize that you're a great dude that she might consider being in a relationship with. You'd just also have to mention at some point that she isn't a nice drunk and that if you ever got into a serious relationship that you should both agree that drinking wouldn't be beneficial for you both. If anything more happens let us shroomerites know. Hope your week goes better!
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psychoanomaly
Ἓν rὸ πᾶν


Registered: 04/22/09
Posts: 1,682
Last seen: 2 years, 3 months
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Re: What are this girl's intentions? Help a *virgin* out [Re: Psilopsychic] 1
#19678629 - 03/10/14 10:07 PM (9 years, 10 months ago) |
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Thanks man, that is exactly what I did! She's leaving town for a while, and only seemed semi-interested, although I don't know for sure as she was pretty vague(fuckin' texting).
On the bright side, it looks like online dating may finally work out for me (after nearly 5 years ). I was messaged by a girl who seems to be extremely cool. I mean, we've been talking about quantum mechanics and the nature of reality She's also quite hot. Though I won't know for sure until I meet her, she honestly seems cooler than K, or at least just a lot better at online communication.
This will happen, damnit!
-------------------- Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakes. ∞ Are we but a moment found? Or a moment lost, a moment unbound?
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FreeTheSoul
The wonderer.

Registered: 01/04/14
Posts: 2,297
Last seen: 2 years, 2 months
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Re: What are this girl's intentions? Help a *virgin* out [Re: psychoanomaly]
#19678751 - 03/10/14 10:36 PM (9 years, 10 months ago) |
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Chick sounds like a basket case who doesn't know what she wants. But she does like the attention you give her. Cut off contact and never look back, better fish in the sea that actually know what they want.
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Dense Cake
Vinyl Freak



Registered: 12/06/13
Posts: 184
Loc: PNW
Last seen: 9 years, 8 days
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Re: What are this girl's intentions? Help a *virgin* out [Re: FreeTheSoul]
#19679001 - 03/10/14 11:55 PM (9 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
FreeTheSoul said: Chick sounds like a basket case who doesn't know what she wants. But she does like the attention you give her. Cut off contact and never look back, better fish in the sea that actually know what they want.
Though that is commonly my tactic at this stage in life, I don't completely agree. Sometimes there is just this feeling with somebody that if you leave them behind, you may miss out on something, even if it's just the lesson that you need to cut it out and stop.
My point being, OP should come to this realization on his own that K is no good, and that she is more of a disruption in his life rather than someomeone worthy of pursuit. Until that point, when and if OP believes in his own mind that this chick is bad news, it won't make emotional sense for him to act against his own desires and hopes and just abandon the idea of sorting things out with her.
For example, having somebody tell you how shitty your girlfriend is to you rarely helps anything. It complicates things and makes you angry that somebody would make that kind of claim against a person that you feel endeared to. It takes realization within your own mind for that sort of thought to come to fruition, and then and only then can you move on from a person who you once thought you loved, but turns out only served to teach you what to avoid.
--------------------
 When I was a boy, I was afraid to die. When I became a man I was afraid to live. But, when I became a little bit wiser, I became a child who walks with death. Now, I play outside every day in a never ending summer; my glory days never faded. And I smile ironically in the face of my doom.
Edited by Dense Cake (03/11/14 12:00 AM)
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FreeTheSoul
The wonderer.

Registered: 01/04/14
Posts: 2,297
Last seen: 2 years, 2 months
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Re: What are this girl's intentions? Help a *virgin* out [Re: Dense Cake]
#19679022 - 03/11/14 12:02 AM (9 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
Dense Cake said:
Quote:
FreeTheSoul said: Chick sounds like a basket case who doesn't know what she wants. But she does like the attention you give her. Cut off contact and never look back, better fish in the sea that actually know what they want.
Though that is commonly my tactic at this stage in life, I don't completely agree. Sometimes there is just this feeling with somebody that if you leave them behind, you may miss out on something, even if it's just the lesson that you need to cut it out and stop.
My point being, OP should come to this realization on his own that K is no good, and that she is more of a disruption in his life rather than someomeone worthy of pursuit. Until that point, when and if OP believes in his own mind that this chick is bad news, it won't make emotional sense for him to act against his own desires and hopes and just abandon the idea of sorting things out with her.
For example, having somebody tell you how shitty your girlfriend is to you rarely helps anything. It complicates things and makes you angry that somebody would make that kind of claim against a person that you feel endeared to. It takes realization within your own mind for that sort of thought to come to fruition, and then and only then can you move on from a person who you once thought you loved, but turns out only served to teach you what to avoid.
Words of wisdom right here, you are completely right. I was just giving my stance on the situation and what I would do. I do agree though that he has to make the decision for himself and think it threw.
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Tripsurfer
Bring Back Asante!



Registered: 08/01/12
Posts: 7,129
Loc: West of Windward
Last seen: 3 months, 28 days
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Re: What are this girl's intentions? Help a *virgin* out [Re: FreeTheSoul]
#19679922 - 03/11/14 08:24 AM (9 years, 10 months ago) |
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Your main problem, being a virgin and all, is that "running some errands" is more important than getting laid.
You have slept in this girls bed without anything happening twice! Spooning should definitely be seen as an invitation to make a move. Anything but blue-balling in a strange bed the entire night.
If you feel you cant be brave without drugs at least use something that will actually help you like MDMA or something.
-------------------- Ach en wee ben ik de klos, met mijn boog schoot ik een albatros... A philosopher is a person who knows less and less about more and more, until he knows nothing about everything.

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GreySatyr
Pagan-Psyche


Registered: 06/20/13
Posts: 3,376
Loc: North Carolina
Last seen: 9 years, 8 months
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Re: What are this girl's intentions? Help a *virgin* out [Re: Tripsurfer]
#19680262 - 03/11/14 10:28 AM (9 years, 10 months ago) |
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Just go for it.
-------------------- ...also, go to hell, huh?
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FreeTheSoul
The wonderer.

Registered: 01/04/14
Posts: 2,297
Last seen: 2 years, 2 months
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Re: What are this girl's intentions? Help a *virgin* out [Re: GreySatyr]
#19684534 - 03/12/14 07:51 AM (9 years, 10 months ago) |
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Quote:
GreySatyr said: Just go for it.
This and if success doesnt follow go for it with another chick.
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psychoanomaly
Ἓν rὸ πᾶν


Registered: 04/22/09
Posts: 1,682
Last seen: 2 years, 3 months
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Re: What are this girl's intentions? Help a *virgin* out [Re: FreeTheSoul]
#19689104 - 03/13/14 12:51 AM (9 years, 10 months ago) |
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Hopefully this okcupid thing works. Doesn't seem terribly likely though.
As for the other, I asked how she was doing and received no response. I've lost a great deal of interest.
Actually, I don't really mind being single right now
-------------------- Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakes. ∞ Are we but a moment found? Or a moment lost, a moment unbound?
Edited by psychoanomaly (03/13/14 12:54 AM)
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