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OfflineCrystal G
I'm a teapot


Registered: 06/05/07
Posts: 19,584
Loc: outer space
Last seen: 8 months, 30 days
Re: Chick snapped at me for letting her go first and holding door open? [Re: Heffy]
    #19297223 - 12/19/13 09:29 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Heffy said:
I make very good money and live by myself in a very nice apartment, in one of the most expensive cities in North America.




Where is that? Manhattan? San Francisco? Brentwood?


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InvisibleSheekle
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Registered: 01/11/10
Posts: 53,153
Re: Chick snapped at me for letting her go first and holding door open? [Re: ch1ck3n.s0up]
    #19298436 - 12/19/13 03:12 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

ch1ck3n.s0up said:
Sort of a friend with a feminist streak. I was waiting for her to walk through doors first--ladies first--and she snapped at me, saying that I can just walk ahead and don't have to wait for her to go, and that I don't have to hold the door for her.

:shrug:

Maybe Dave Chapelle said it best, "yes, romance is dead... and the women killed it."



LOL WTF


--------------------
"Ur cat died because he hated u" - Koods
"I hope JSB kicks your ass one day." - Vandago
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"The more I see you post the more I realize you're just this fuckin tie dye loser who trolls the Shroomery 24/7." - Herbologist
"Sheekle you cannot vile the dice of bullshit you have posted on this forum over the years, I like databases" - thelastoneleft
"or maybe i just come from a blood line of superior intelligence" - trees

R.I.P Kelsy, ?/?/?? - 6/11/16


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OfflineCrystal G
I'm a teapot


Registered: 06/05/07
Posts: 19,584
Loc: outer space
Last seen: 8 months, 30 days
Re: Chick snapped at me for letting her go first and holding door open? [Re: psyconaught]
    #19298827 - 12/19/13 04:46 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

psyconaught said:
i don't think splitting the bill when you barely know someone is being stingy. I think thats pulling your own weight. I do and buy special things for my girl all the time not expecting reciprocation. But on a day to day basis we pretty much split everything. Why should it be different in the courting process? If the guy shells out a bunch of cash on a new interest he might expect 'something' in return. And the girl might feel obligated, in fact i KNOW a lot of girls feel obligated in those types of situations. If the guy insists he pays thats fine, but i don't think either party should be expected ahead of time to foot the bill.




No, I don't view that there's anything wrong with it. In the past, when I was much younger I always halved the bill unless the guy absolutely insisted, a lot of times I even paid for everything because I was making more money.

But to be honest, I've had nothing but really bad experiences with guys who expect you to pay. Seems every one of them has taken advantage of me, either financially or in other ways, later on in the relationship.

The worst was when I was living with a boyfriend and I ended up getting pregnant by him. When we first started dating, I was making at least five times as much as him, so I paid for a lot of our dates. When I got pregnant, I lost my job for other reasons. I ended up finding another part-time job making around the same amount as him a few months later down the line. We moved in together, I was paying for half the rent, almost all the groceries, and he called me lazy because I was only working part-time.

Well, on top of feeling soooo tired and sleepy all the time from the pregnancy, I was also having complications with my pregnancy, so I wasn't even supposed to be working AT ALL!!!! That was when he as the father should have stepped in and offered to take care of everything, but he NEVER DID. Instead, he called me lazy, because I was only working part-time, and started feeling resentment towards me because he would have to pay for things like the electricity bill and the heating bill (which he postponed paying for like months, literally MONTHS we went without heat, because he thought that if he postponed paying it, I would step in and pay for it).

So because of it, I ended up having a miscarriage. It was already a complicated pregnancy to begin with, and I was not supposed to be working. On top of that, dude was stressing me out constantly, always pointing out shit that was wrong with me WHILE I WAS GETTING READY TO HAVE HIS BABY. The entire time I kept thinking this baby is a mistake. When I finally had the miscarriage, he cried. I didn't.

On top of that, he bitched about the fact that I bought him "a really shitty coffee pot" for Christmas (on top of a two-month membership to a rock-climbing gym), even though I was the one paying for both him and my family's gifts, WHILE PREGNANT, on limited funds.

God damn, there's so much more shit that I can't be bothered typing out right now. He's also the same type of guy that bitched about having to take care of the rent while his previous girlfriend was disabled and unable to work temporarily. Apparently he was engaged to her until that happened, and once she became sick and no longer "useful" to him, he dumped her.

So, ever since then, I've completely changed my ways. If I were to go out with a guy like Heffy, it just reeks to me of a guy who's really stingy and cheap. I would never EVER in my life go out with a guy like that ever again. I've learned from my past mistakes, and I wouldn't ever consider a guy who "expects" me to pay.

I absolutely REFUSE TO BELIEVE that somebody who is cheap would later on turn their ways and become "generous" once they get to know the person.


WHOOO man, airing my dirty laundry... first time I've talked about this on these forums... it feels goooooood. :hehehe:


Edited by Crystal G (12/19/13 04:53 PM)


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Offlinepsyconaught
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Registered: 11/04/10
Posts: 6,100
Last seen: 7 years, 3 months
Re: Chick snapped at me for letting her go first and holding door open? [Re: Crystal G]
    #19298900 - 12/19/13 05:01 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

your making complete false equivalencies, if your having a baby with someone thats not the same league as a first/second date. Once again i don't think its cheap to expect the girl to half the bill. Neither party should expect the other to completely cover anything. I actually think if the girl expects the man to pay for everything she's the cheap and stingy one.


--------------------
Think for yourself, question authority


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OfflineCrystal G
I'm a teapot


Registered: 06/05/07
Posts: 19,584
Loc: outer space
Last seen: 8 months, 30 days
Re: Chick snapped at me for letting her go first and holding door open? [Re: psyconaught]
    #19299083 - 12/19/13 05:32 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

psyconaught said:
your making complete false equivalencies, if your having a baby with someone thats not the same league as a first/second date.




That's my point though, is that guys who feel resentment towards a first or second date, are also more likely to feel resentment towards their girlfriends or wives once something happens, like disability or pregnancy. That has been my experience with men who are like that, which is why I absolutely refuse to date them anymore. Its a little technique called "personality profiling."

Quote:

Once again i don't think its cheap to expect the girl to half the bill. Neither party should expect the other to completely cover anything. I actually think if the girl expects the man to pay for everything she's the cheap and stingy one.




I'd say it actually depends on who is making more, don't you think? So if a CEO is dating a hairdresser, do you think its right that the CEO asks the hairdresser to pay an expensive meal she might not be able to afford? That to me reeks of stingy. And since heffy claims to have bucketloads of money, I don't get what his gripe is.


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Offlinepsyconaught
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Registered: 11/04/10
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Re: Chick snapped at me for letting her go first and holding door open? [Re: Crystal G]
    #19299125 - 12/19/13 05:39 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

in your CEO situation sure some might think its 'right' that he pay for the whole meal, personally i would pay. But i don't think it should be expected, the hair dresser should be prepared to pay her share of a first date, even if she ends up not paying because the guy insisted. I'm sure a lot of guys would insist they pay, and thats fine, however it should not be expected, thats my point.
Also i find it interesting that this is very gender biased. If a man stated that he expected the women to pay for dinner and all of the dates etc. Everyone would jump on him like a lazy piece of shit pig.


--------------------
Think for yourself, question authority


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OfflineCrystal G
I'm a teapot


Registered: 06/05/07
Posts: 19,584
Loc: outer space
Last seen: 8 months, 30 days
Re: Chick snapped at me for letting her go first and holding door open? [Re: psyconaught]
    #19299393 - 12/19/13 06:45 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

psyconaught said:
in your CEO situation sure some might think its 'right' that he pay for the whole meal, personally i would pay. But i don't think it should be expected, the hair dresser should be prepared to pay her share of a first date, even if she ends up not paying because the guy insisted.




Really? Because what if the CEO is the one that asked the hairdresser out, AND picked the place? (Because that is what most guys do, they ask out and then pick the place.) So essentially, the CEO picked an extravagantly expensive place that the hairdresser would not ordinarily eat out at because she can't afford it. So the hairdresser should STILL be expected to pay, when she had no choice in eating out at this place?

I find it funny that a lot of these guys complaining about expecting women to pay the meal are probably also the same guys that would complain if they were expected to pay for half the wedding. I'm pretty sure paying for a wedding is infinitely more expensive than 2 years of dates.

Quote:

Also i find it interesting that this is very gender biased. If a man stated that he expected the women to pay for dinner and all of the dates etc. Everyone would jump on him like a lazy piece of shit pig.




:lol: Reminds me of my ex, who I dated for 5 years. :lol: After dating for three years, it suddenly dawned on me that he had NEVER ONCE taken me out or done anything romantically for me. I talked to him about it, and eventually he agreed to do it, but THE ENTIRE FUCKING TIME HE WOULD BITCH, ALL THE FUCKING TIME about how it was "sexist" that women always expect men to do romantic things for them (basically really similar shit to what Heffy is saying). And we had been dating THREE years at this point, not "one" or "two" dates, which inclines me to believe that men who are like this are also likely to be this way no matter how long they are with somebody.

But of course, my ex was gay before me, and apparently had a sugar daddy before me, so HE was the one that was used to being taken out shopping and wined and dined on. Apparently when it came time to do it for somebody else, suddenly he didn't like it anymore. The entire time I was with him I really felt I was not with a man, but a really whiney bitchy girlfriend or something.

I truly felt the whole time that I WAS THE MAN in our entire relationship. He had no sense of even protecting me. When I was at a dinner party with my family's, and my family and I had a fight and they really hurt me, I wanted to go with my boyfriend and LEAVE IMMEDIATELY. Any REAL guy would have automatically up and left and taken me to wherever I wanted to go. But noooo, he wanted to enjoy his precious sushi dinner, so he made me stay and have a miserable time while I was crying and not speaking the entire night. FUCK THAT GUY.

That was another ex that used me (and everybody around him) financially. For example, when he was sent to jail for drug possession, I visited him to put money on his commissary, EVEN MY PARENTS put money on his commissary, and he ended up spending the money MY PARENTS and I gave him to buy FUCKING DRUGS in jail. :facepalm: He also stole an $800 Prada bag that was given to me by my aunt, it was a really sentimental gift for me, and of course he "lost it" to drugs (I personally think he sold it to make drug money) and I would never see the bag again. He made empty promises to buy me the same bag, but of course I knew he would never make good on those promises.



I really wish more guys would chime their opinions in here. Just last week, before the creation of this thread, I saw a member in another thread bitching about how women are trying to claim masculinity over men by paying for dates, that this actually takes away men's masculinity and feminizes them. What do men on here really think about it?


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Offlinepsyconaught
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Registered: 11/04/10
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Re: Chick snapped at me for letting her go first and holding door open? [Re: Crystal G]
    #19299421 - 12/19/13 06:53 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

I saw a member in another thread bitching about how women are trying to claim masculinity over men by paying for dates, that this actually takes away men's masculinity and feminizes them. What do men on here really think about it?



i completely disagree with that point of view. When a girl can pay for dinner or carry her own weight that shows financial independence and maturity. Which is important to me in a partner and maturity is attractive to me :shrug: my girl appreciates that i let her pull her own weight. She hated that her ex would never let her pay for anything because she didn't want to feel helpless or dependent on anyone else.


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Think for yourself, question authority


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OfflineCrystal G
I'm a teapot


Registered: 06/05/07
Posts: 19,584
Loc: outer space
Last seen: 8 months, 30 days
Re: Chick snapped at me for letting her go first and holding door open? [Re: psyconaught]
    #19299440 - 12/19/13 06:58 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

psyconaught said:
i completely disagree with that point of view. When a girl can pay for dinner or carry her own weight that shows financial independence and maturity. Which is important to me in a partner and maturity is attractive to me :shrug: my girl appreciates that i let her pull her own weight. She hated that her ex would never let her pay for anything because she didn't want to feel helpless or dependent on anyone else.




Well, I felt that way when I was younger, but like I said, after my bad experiences, I really appreciate a guy who goes all the way. :muscles: Especially first date, it should be the guy's responsibility, ESPECIALLY if he's the one that asked her out and picked the place. Call me old-fashioned, but after learning from my past, that's what I like and that's what I'm attracted to.


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OfflineHerbologist
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Re: Chick snapped at me for letting her go first and holding door open? [Re: Crystal G]
    #19302782 - 12/20/13 12:47 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

I have no problem paying for dates and the entertainment that goes along with it.

But, Girls who NEVER pick up the bill, after a million dates, suck.


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Offlinezappaisgod
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Registered: 02/11/04
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Re: Chick snapped at me for letting her go first and holding door open? [Re: Crystal G]
    #19303463 - 12/20/13 03:23 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Crystal G said:
Quote:

Herbologist said:
Girls like that are fuckin annoying.  Just be damn grateful, shit.

I hold the door open for a lot of people not just girls




Same here. At my university everybody held the door open for each other and we all said thank you whenever somebody did it.

Now I have a question here pertaining to the same topic...

Whenever I'm out on a date, I always say thank you to every small thing the guy does. I say thank you whenever he opens the car door for me, I say thank you whenever he pulls out my seat in the restaurant, I say thank you when he pays the bill, I say thank you whenever he opens the door for me...

My question is, am I saying thank you too often? Should I always continue to say thank you whenever a guy does these things for me? Because sometimes I feel like I'm saying it too often.



No.  I thank the bus boy person when she fills my water glass.  It don't cost nothing to be nice like that.


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OfflineCrystal G
I'm a teapot


Registered: 06/05/07
Posts: 19,584
Loc: outer space
Last seen: 8 months, 30 days
Re: Chick snapped at me for letting her go first and holding door open? [Re: Herbologist]
    #19303842 - 12/20/13 04:47 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Herbologist said:
I have no problem paying for dates and the entertainment that goes along with it.

But, Girls who NEVER pick up the bill, after a million dates, suck.




I usually pay if I pick the place beforehand. For example, if I decide I want to go to a comedy show or a piano recital, I'll buy the tickets.

I'm a really good cook, and cooking is one of my biggest passions, so if I want to do something nice for a guy I'll usually arrange a picnic or cook for him.


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