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InvisibleAsante
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Much of life is about the CHOICES YOU MAKE. * 6
    #19297170 - 12/19/13 09:12 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

I had that realization last night while tripping.

25 years I smoked. I was ADDICTED. 25 years, one fag every half hour, sometimes more.

I felt trapped. I felt I had no choice. I felt like a victim of the cruel, ruthless Nicotine conspiracy.

Guess what?

IT WAS A CHOICE ALL ALONG. Every cigarette I smoked was a choice. Quitting was a choice too, and because I had made up my mind I barely even craved it.

Fuck addiction excuses, it was a choice. Either you do something or you don't.  That doesnt mean it wasnt a HARD choice. It was a VERY hard choice, a choice I took 25 years and several "attempts" to make. But ultimately a choice it was.

I don't want to belittle anyone with addiction issues. Lord no, I still have addictions to work on and it will be very hard.  Changing behaviors, attitudes, but its a CHOICE.

Fuck anyone who says you can't break a habit, and especially yourself and the psychological self sabotage you do. Breaking habits and addictions is very hard. They are life's most tenacious problems.

But don't forget, its a CHOICE. Every time you repeat the behavior, take the drug, justify it, undermine yourself, its a CHOICE. A drug or habitual behavior can remind you of itself, but it can't make you WANT it. WANTING it and the most serious sting of craving, is a choice YOU make.

And that choice IS yours. No one can take it but you.

Willpower isnt about forcing yourself against your will, its altering your will and with it the course of your life to do something you choose.

We all know this, but most dont realize it when it matters.


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Invisiblethe mad machinest
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Re: Much of life is about the CHOICES YOU MAKE. [Re: Asante]
    #19297178 - 12/19/13 09:15 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

this made my day. thank you for the inspiration!:mushroom2:


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OfflineBassfreak
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Re: Much of life is about the CHOICES YOU MAKE. [Re: the mad machinest]
    #19297196 - 12/19/13 09:22 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

idk man. addictions are a lot more than just a choice. it def starts out as a choice

but it becomes a whole other thing once you reach true physical dependancy


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InvisibleAsante
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Re: Much of life is about the CHOICES YOU MAKE. [Re: Bassfreak]
    #19297206 - 12/19/13 09:25 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Its still a choice to take another dose, and increase future withdrawal, or to face withdrawal now.

You're behind the wheel.

We cant choose what we get to choose, but life is full of "Go Left Or Go Right" crossroads that end you up where you are and will be.


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Offlinemorrowasted
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Re: Much of life is about the CHOICES YOU MAKE. [Re: Asante]
    #19297208 - 12/19/13 09:25 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

What about that MXE? Why didn't you stick to your 100 day commitment?


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InvisibleBlackWidow
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Re: Much of life is about the CHOICES YOU MAKE. [Re: Bassfreak]
    #19297217 - 12/19/13 09:28 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Bassfreak said:
idk man. addictions are a lot more than just a choice. it def starts out as a choice

but it becomes a whole other thing once you reach true physical dependancy



That's an excuse. I became addicted to benzos and I slowly lowered the dose. It was tough and I did experience some withdrawal. It is your choice everytime you take that drug again, stop lying to yourself.


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InvisibleFrozenHappiness
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Re: Much of life is about the CHOICES YOU MAKE. [Re: Asante]
    #19297224 - 12/19/13 09:29 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Wiccan_Seeker said:
Willpower isnt about forcing yourself against your will, its altering your will and with it the course of your life to do something you choose.




:thumbup:

Totally! I have been a victim to my own poor choices. I have been my own worst enemy. And I have nobody to blame but myself.

I quit smoking this year after being addicted for over 12 years. I still struggle with cravings almost daily, but things are getting better. I can't imagine the difficulty in trying to break it off after 25 years. Good on you for making that decision and sticking with it.

Shine on! :sun:


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InvisibleAsante
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Re: Much of life is about the CHOICES YOU MAKE. [Re: morrowasted]
    #19297230 - 12/19/13 09:31 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

That was a choice! 100% a choice. There was no fiending, no jonesing, no aching desire, I stood at the crossroads and made the choice to ingest, right before the finish.

I made the calculation and did what I felt was best.

Even if I had been fiending it would still be a choice.

I made a choice with a sober mind and with it failed the 100 day challenge. Its on ME, not on the drug.

You could ask, empathically, why I'm over 300 lbs.
Choices. What I eat, how much and how often, and how much I get off my ass in a day. The odds are heavily stacked against me losing weight but lets face it, a pizza doesnt buy itself, bake itself and eat itself.


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OfflinePatlal
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Re: Much of life is about the CHOICES YOU MAKE. [Re: Asante] * 1
    #19297265 - 12/19/13 09:44 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Smoking fags always felt wrong in my head for some reason.


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OfflineBassfreak
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Re: Much of life is about the CHOICES YOU MAKE. [Re: Patlal]
    #19297289 - 12/19/13 09:53 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

what if someone ties you down and forces you to do that drug?

then its not a choice. jus sayin


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InvisibleAsante
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Re: Much of life is about the CHOICES YOU MAKE. [Re: Bassfreak]
    #19297292 - 12/19/13 09:54 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Hence, MUCH of life is about the choices you make.


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InvisibleAdden
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Re: Much of life is about the CHOICES YOU MAKE. [Re: Asante]
    #19297295 - 12/19/13 09:56 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Wiccan_Seeker said:
25 years, one fag every half hour, sometimes more.




My jaw would be so sore and I'd have to sit on an inflatable donut. I don't know how you've got it in you.


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InvisibleAsante
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Re: Much of life is about the CHOICES YOU MAKE. [Re: Adden]
    #19297304 - 12/19/13 09:56 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Hey its a livin' :yesnod:


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OfflineUzziel
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Re: Much of life is about the CHOICES YOU MAKE. [Re: Asante] * 1
    #19297311 - 12/19/13 09:59 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Coming to a realization is pointless unless you do something about it.

So where are you going from here, Wiccan?

Are you going to make good choices in your life or are you just going to keep coming to realizations and do nothing about it?

You're at a crossroads like many of us and your choice is simply yours alone. Drugs won't help you make the choices that need to get done, only your will alone can do that.


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Offlineclaraclairvoyant
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Re: Much of life is about the CHOICES YOU MAKE. [Re: Asante]
    #19297316 - 12/19/13 10:00 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

we even have choice when it comes to the uncontrollable, terrible, fantastic, strange things that happen to us. we can choose to some degree how we react and how we let if effect us-whether or not we let if define who we are is very important.


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Offlinenicechrisman
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Re: Much of life is about the CHOICES YOU MAKE. [Re: Asante] * 1
    #19297321 - 12/19/13 10:02 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

The thought manifests as the word,
The word manifests as the deed,
The deed develops into habit,
And the habit hardens into character.
So watch the thought and its way with care,
And let it spring from love
Born out of concern for all beings.


--------------------
"Cosmic Love is absolutelely ruthless and highly indifferent:
it teaches its lessons whether you like/dislike them or not."

John C. Lily

 


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InvisibleAdden
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Re: Much of life is about the CHOICES YOU MAKE. [Re: Asante]
    #19297326 - 12/19/13 10:02 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Give this a read. Sorry for iffy translation, did it in undergrad a decade ago. Added some [ ] for readability.


Marcus Aurelius, 2nd Century Emperor of Rome.


Begin the morning by saying to thyself, I shall meet with the busybody, the ungrateful, arrogant, deceitful, envious, unsocial. All these things happen to them by reason of their ignorance of what is good and evil. But I who have seen the nature of the good that it is beautiful, and of the bad that it is ugly, and the nature of him who does wrong, that it is akin to me; not [only] of the same blood or seed, but that it participates in [the same] intelligence and [the same] portion of the divinity, I can neither be injured by any of them, for no one can fix on me what is ugly, nor can I be angry with my kinsman, nor hate him. For we are made for co-operation, like feet, like hands, like eyelids, like the rows of the upper and lower teeth. To act against one another, then, is contrary to nature; and it is acting against one another to be vexed and to turn away.

Every moment think steadily as a Roman and a man to do what thou hast in hand with perfect and simple dignity, and feeling of affection, and freedom, and justice, and to give thyself relief from all other thoughts. And thou wilt give thyself relief if thou doest every act of thy life as if it were the last, laying aside all carelessness and passionate aversion from the commands of reason, and all hypocrisy, and self-love, and discontent with the portion which has been given to thee. Thou seest how few the things are, the which if a man lays hold of, he is able to live a life which flows in quiet, and is like the existence of the gods; for the gods on their part will require nothing more from him who observes these things.

Men seek retreats for themselves, houses in the country, sea-shores, and mountains; and thou too art wont to desire such things very much. But this is altogether a mark of the most common sort of men, for it is in thy power whenever thou shalt choose to retire into thyself. For nowhere either with more quiet or more freedom from trouble does a man retire than into his own soul, particularly when he has within him such thoughts that by looking into them he is immediately in perfect tranquility; and I affirm that tranquility is nothing else than the good ordering of the mind. Constantly then give to thyself this retreat, and renew thyself; and let thy principles be brief and fundamental, which, as soon as thou shalt recur to them, will be sufficient to cleanse the soul completely, and to send thee back free from all discontent with the things to which thou returnest. For with what art thou discontented? With the badness of men? Recall to thy mind this conclusion, that rational animals exist for one another, and that to endure is a part of justice, and that men do wrong involuntarily; and consider how many already, after mutual enmity, suspicion, hatred, and fighting, have been stretched dead, reduced to ashes; and be quiet at last.--But perhaps thou art dissatisfied with that which is assigned to thee out of the universe.--Recall to thy recollection this alternative; either there is providence or atoms [fortuitous concurrence of things]; or remember the arguments by which it has been proved that the world is a kind of political community [and be quiet at last].--But perhaps corporeal things will still fasten upon thee.--Consider then further that the mind mingles not with the breath, whether moving gently or violently, when it has once drawn itself apart and discovered its own power, and think also of all that thou hast heard and assented to about pain and pleasure [and be quiet at last].--But perhaps the desire of the thing called fame will torment thee.--See how soon everything is forgotten, and look at the chaos of infinite time on each side of [the present], and the emptiness of applause, and the changeableness and want of judgment in those who pretend to give praise, and the narrowness of the space within which it is circumscribed [and be quiet at last]. For the whole earth is a point, and how small a nook in it is this thy dwelling, and how few are there in it, and what kind of people are they who will praise thee. This then remains: Remember to retire into this little territory of thy own, and above all do not distract or strain thyself, but be free, and look at things as a man, as a human being, as a citizen, as a mortal. But among the things readiest to thy hand to which thou shalt turn, let there be these, which are two. One is that things do not touch the soul, for they are external and remain immovable; but our perturbations come only from the opinion which is within. The other is that all these things, which thou seest, change immediately and will no longer be; and constantly bear in mind how many of these changes thou hast already witnessed. The universe is transformation: life is opinion.


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InvisibleSheekle
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Re: Much of life is about the CHOICES YOU MAKE. [Re: claraclairvoyant]
    #19297330 - 12/19/13 10:03 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

claraclairvoyant said:
we even have choice when it comes to the uncontrollable, terrible, fantastic, strange things that happen to us. we can choose to some degree how we react and how we let if effect us-whether or not we let if define who we are is very important.



That's a good point clara


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Invisibleunknown1123
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Re: Much of life is about the CHOICES YOU MAKE. [Re: Adden]
    #19297832 - 12/19/13 12:34 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Dystopia said:
Give this a read. Sorry for iffy translation, did it in undergrad a decade ago. Added some [ ] for readability.


Marcus Aurelius, 2nd Century Emperor of Rome.


Begin the morning by saying to thyself, I shall meet with the busybody, the ungrateful, arrogant, deceitful, envious, unsocial. All these things happen to them by reason of their ignorance of what is good and evil. But I who have seen the nature of the good that it is beautiful, and of the bad that it is ugly, and the nature of him who does wrong, that it is akin to me; not [only] of the same blood or seed, but that it participates in [the same] intelligence and [the same] portion of the divinity, I can neither be injured by any of them, for no one can fix on me what is ugly, nor can I be angry with my kinsman, nor hate him. For we are made for co-operation, like feet, like hands, like eyelids, like the rows of the upper and lower teeth. To act against one another, then, is contrary to nature; and it is acting against one another to be vexed and to turn away.

Every moment think steadily as a Roman and a man to do what thou hast in hand with perfect and simple dignity, and feeling of affection, and freedom, and justice, and to give thyself relief from all other thoughts. And thou wilt give thyself relief if thou doest every act of thy life as if it were the last, laying aside all carelessness and passionate aversion from the commands of reason, and all hypocrisy, and self-love, and discontent with the portion which has been given to thee. Thou seest how few the things are, the which if a man lays hold of, he is able to live a life which flows in quiet, and is like the existence of the gods; for the gods on their part will require nothing more from him who observes these things.

Men seek retreats for themselves, houses in the country, sea-shores, and mountains; and thou too art wont to desire such things very much. But this is altogether a mark of the most common sort of men, for it is in thy power whenever thou shalt choose to retire into thyself. For nowhere either with more quiet or more freedom from trouble does a man retire than into his own soul, particularly when he has within him such thoughts that by looking into them he is immediately in perfect tranquility; and I affirm that tranquility is nothing else than the good ordering of the mind. Constantly then give to thyself this retreat, and renew thyself; and let thy principles be brief and fundamental, which, as soon as thou shalt recur to them, will be sufficient to cleanse the soul completely, and to send thee back free from all discontent with the things to which thou returnest. For with what art thou discontented? With the badness of men? Recall to thy mind this conclusion, that rational animals exist for one another, and that to endure is a part of justice, and that men do wrong involuntarily; and consider how many already, after mutual enmity, suspicion, hatred, and fighting, have been stretched dead, reduced to ashes; and be quiet at last.--But perhaps thou art dissatisfied with that which is assigned to thee out of the universe.--Recall to thy recollection this alternative; either there is providence or atoms [fortuitous concurrence of things]; or remember the arguments by which it has been proved that the world is a kind of political community [and be quiet at last].--But perhaps corporeal things will still fasten upon thee.--Consider then further that the mind mingles not with the breath, whether moving gently or violently, when it has once drawn itself apart and discovered its own power, and think also of all that thou hast heard and assented to about pain and pleasure [and be quiet at last].--But perhaps the desire of the thing called fame will torment thee.--See how soon everything is forgotten, and look at the chaos of infinite time on each side of [the present], and the emptiness of applause, and the changeableness and want of judgment in those who pretend to give praise, and the narrowness of the space within which it is circumscribed [and be quiet at last]. For the whole earth is a point, and how small a nook in it is this thy dwelling, and how few are there in it, and what kind of people are they who will praise thee. This then remains: Remember to retire into this little territory of thy own, and above all do not distract or strain thyself, but be free, and look at things as a man, as a human being, as a citizen, as a mortal. But among the things readiest to thy hand to which thou shalt turn, let there be these, which are two. One is that things do not touch the soul, for they are external and remain immovable; but our perturbations come only from the opinion which is within. The other is that all these things, which thou seest, change immediately and will no longer be; and constantly bear in mind how many of these changes thou hast already witnessed. The universe is transformation: life is opinion.



Summary?

Life is about choices, for sure! :cheers:


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