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Offlineclaraclairvoyant
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Registered: 05/24/09
Posts: 7,802
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Re: Chick snapped at me for letting her go first and holding door open? [Re: ch1ck3n.s0up]
    #19290982 - 12/17/13 10:51 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

OP that girl just sounds rude. it's just common courtesy to hold the door for ppl. i do it for ppl too and i'm a girl. i also appreciate it when someone does it for me!


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InvisibleChinChiller
Male


Registered: 07/03/10
Posts: 3,270
Re: Chick snapped at me for letting her go first and holding door open? [Re: claraclairvoyant]
    #19290997 - 12/17/13 10:57 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Yeah I always try to hold the door open for everyone. Its basic politeness, some feminists just have sticks up their butts about a lot of random stuff with nimwitted logic.


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InvisibleMe_Roy
Stranger
Registered: 07/30/02
Posts: 3,230
Re: Chick snapped at me for letting her go first and holding door open? [Re: Crystal G]
    #19291013 - 12/17/13 11:04 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Crystal G said:
Quote:

Herbologist said:
Girls like that are fuckin annoying.  Just be damn grateful, shit.

I hold the door open for a lot of people not just girls




Same here. At my university everybody held the door open for each other and we all said thank you whenever somebody did it.

Now I have a question here pertaining to the same topic...

Whenever I'm out on a date, I always say thank you to every small thing the guy does. I say thank you whenever he opens the car door for me, I say thank you whenever he pulls out my seat in the restaurant, I say thank you when he pays the bill, I say thank you whenever he opens the door for me...

My question is, am I saying thank you too often? Should I always continue to say thank you whenever a guy does these things for me? Because sometimes I feel like I'm saying it too often.




Chrys,

Having been on the other end of that situation, I have to say that there comes a point when you can drop the thank-yous. Your date is doing all this to build the kind of communication that doesn't need words. Once you've established the right kind of rapport (which might take as little as walking into the restaurant and being seated), eye contact, (very) subtle smiles, and readiness to engage in conversation will say enough.


Edited by Me_Roy (12/18/13 08:40 AM)


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InvisibleChinChiller
Male


Registered: 07/03/10
Posts: 3,270
Re: Chick snapped at me for letting her go first and holding door open? [Re: Me_Roy]
    #19291026 - 12/17/13 11:09 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

You have to find the right balance of thank you's. Obviously after someone pays the bill for dinner you say thank you or gives you a ride home. I've always found its best to just say thank you at the end of the night that covers everything, that way it shows your appreciation without constantly thanking the person for every little thing.


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Invisiblememes
Blessed


Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 01/11/05
Posts: 27,785
Loc: In a Tree
Re: Chick snapped at me for letting her go first and holding door open? [Re: Crystal G]
    #19291986 - 12/18/13 06:23 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Crystal G said:
To be honest, if courting disappeared completely, I would probably lose all interest in dating.




that's funny, i am your antithesis.

if courting disappeared, i'd be great at dating:
"So, let's sit down and compare long-term life goals, likes and dislikes, personal quarks, long-term career plan, and preemptive retirement ideas.  Oh, looks like we're somewhat of a match, and you didnt stumble your way through a focused discussion!  Let's be dating now and figure out if it works along the way"


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InvisibleShins
Fun guy
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Registered: 09/15/04
Posts: 16,337
Re: Chick snapped at me for letting her go first and holding door open? [Re: Crystal G]
    #19292639 - 12/18/13 10:04 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Crystal G said:
Quote:

Herbologist said:
Girls like that are fuckin annoying.  Just be damn grateful, shit.

I hold the door open for a lot of people not just girls




Same here. At my university everybody held the door open for each other and we all said thank you whenever somebody did it.

Now I have a question here pertaining to the same topic...

Whenever I'm out on a date, I always say thank you to every small thing the guy does. I say thank you whenever he opens the car door for me, I say thank you whenever he pulls out my seat in the restaurant, I say thank you when he pays the bill, I say thank you whenever he opens the door for me...

My question is, am I saying thank you too often? Should I always continue to say thank you whenever a guy does these things for me? Because sometimes I feel like I'm saying it too often.





Its always nice to feel appreciated, I say keep doung it!  Oh and blowjobs.


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http://yourlogicalfallacyis.com/


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InvisibleShins
Fun guy
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Registered: 09/15/04
Posts: 16,337
Re: Chick snapped at me for letting her go first and holding door open? [Re: Heffy]
    #19292653 - 12/18/13 10:08 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Heffy said:
Quote:

Crystal G said:
Quote:

Herbologist said:
Girls like that are fuckin annoying.  Just be damn grateful, shit.

I hold the door open for a lot of people not just girls




Same here. At my university everybody held the door open for each other and we all said thank you whenever somebody did it.

Now I have a question here pertaining to the same topic...

Whenever I'm out on a date, I always say thank you to every small thing the guy does. I say thank you whenever he opens the car door for me, I say thank you whenever he pulls out my seat in the restaurant, I say thank you when he pays the bill, I say thank you whenever he opens the door for me...

My question is, am I saying thank you too often? Should I always continue to say thank you whenever a guy does these things for me? Because sometimes I feel like I'm saying it too often.




When someone does something nice for you you should say thank you. That being said I would never open the door, AND pull up the chair, AND pay the bill, etc. To me that sounds like something a chump would do. Then again, if I go out on a date with a girl, and she doesn't bring money cause she assumes that I should pay for HER dinner, she can wash fucking dishes as far as I'm concerned..





Call me old fasioned but I love doing that stuff.  Chivalry is not dead!  Luckly I'm seeing a girl who loves it too so it works out good.


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http://yourlogicalfallacyis.com/


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OfflineHeffy
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Registered: 08/30/04
Posts: 3,262
Loc: International Traveller
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Re: Chick snapped at me for letting her go first and holding door open? [Re: Crystal G]
    #19294767 - 12/18/13 07:16 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Some men, believe it or not, take PRIDE in doing these things, and don't view it as "shameful" like you do. Sounds like you yourself have some complexities and insecurities, just like those overly feminist girls who view it as shameful that somebody is holding the door open for them.




There's a difference between doing something nice for somebody, and expecting somebody to do something nice for you.
One is nice, the other is rude and presumptuous.

Quote:

To be honest, if courting disappeared completely, I would probably lose all interest in dating.

It's pretty funny you have this viewpoint, because you would probably expect the woman you're dating to have sex with you whenever you want, AND be faithful to you, right?

You'd probably be the type of guy that would expect her to cook, clean, and do all the household and child-rearing duties and perform superbly in bed ON TOP of bringing home 50% of the bacon.




It's nice to know that your only interest in dating comes from a mans willingness to pander to you based on your perceived higher social value. I better save up a dowry in case I end up with a girl like you.

I wouldn't expect anyone to have sex with me ever if they didn't want to, nor would I expect anyone to be faithful to me unless they had voluntarily agreed to do so. Cooking and cleaning are household chores, I would expect a housemate to do their share. I hate children, and someone who puts me to sleep in the sack isn't a suitable partner.

Looks like all your assumptions about me were wrong.

Quote:

Yes. I think a lot of guys forget that your average woman is not as interested in guys or sex as much as men are, so men have to keep women's attention by courting and romancing them. Men often forget that for every 1 beautiful woman, they are competing with dozens of other guys out there. And to be honest if you're not offering women anything except your *sparkling wit and personality* (which I can tell in the case of Heffy is a dud :lol:), there's nothign enticing women to even want you.




This is the main reason I've lost interest in dating. Most women seem to be only interested in what men can offer them, rather than having a real reciprocal relationship.


--------------------
I am the king of Rome, and above grammar! - Emperor Sigismund


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OfflineCrystal G
I'm a teapot


Registered: 06/05/07
Posts: 19,584
Loc: outer space
Last seen: 8 months, 30 days
Re: Chick snapped at me for letting her go first and holding door open? [Re: Heffy]
    #19295062 - 12/18/13 08:29 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

This is the main reason I've lost interest in dating. Most women seem to be only interested in what men can offer them, rather than having a real reciprocal relationship.




And what does it say about you that you're so cheap you're not even willing to spend a single cent on the woman that you love? I'm guessing, it doesn't bode well for your character.

Just think for a second how dating works. YOU are NOT the one choosing the woman. The woman is the one choosing to be with you.

Historically, the man is the one that first asks the woman out on the date, arranges the date, romances the woman, etc. Essentially, you are not the one that gets to decide to be with her. Ultimately, SHE is the one who decides whether or not YOU are interesting enough for HER. This whole period of courtship is all an attempt to woo her to build up to the ultimate point, where you ask her to marry you and make her yours. Again, the decision is not up to you, it's up to HER.

Then, after marriage, traditionally the roles reverse. The wife is usually the one that takes care of her husband, makes food for her husband, takes care of his babies, etc. That's really what this whole period of courtship is all about, in a way.

Now if you don't want to do anything romantic and take out your calculator and make her pay for everything 50/50 down the line that's up to you. Just don't be surprised if you get passed up for guys who are a lot less stingy and cheap than you.

Since being an adult, I've never been on a date with a guy like you, thank god. But if I were to come across a guy like you, the only thing I'd be thinking is, "How would this guy feel if we were living together, and I got into an accident and became disabled, or couldn't work because I just had children? I'm guessing this guy would resent me for having to support me." YEAH, NO THANKS.

Therefore, rule #1 always will be: Don't ever date somebody who is cheap and stingy with you. They can be cheap and smart-shoppers, like I consider myself cheap and frugal, but definitely not when it comes to the person that you love.


Edited by Crystal G (12/18/13 08:37 PM)


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Offlinepsyconaught
Chemical Connoisseur


Registered: 11/04/10
Posts: 6,100
Last seen: 7 years, 3 months
Re: Chick snapped at me for letting her go first and holding door open? [Re: Crystal G]
    #19295569 - 12/18/13 10:44 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

going on a first date with someone is definitely not equal to going out with someone your in love with.


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Think for yourself, question authority


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OfflineUzziel
O_o


Registered: 12/30/10
Posts: 11,689
Last seen: 4 years, 2 months
Re: Chick snapped at me for letting her go first and holding door open? [Re: psyconaught]
    #19295677 - 12/18/13 11:12 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

I had this happen to me back in college. It was just another normal day for me, opened the door for a lady and a guy coming by like 5 feet behind her and she just gave me a mean ass look and said "I can open the door myself, thanks for nothing"

Like shit... I was just being polite, the dude just gave me me the same look I had on... :wtf:


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OfflineCrystal G
I'm a teapot


Registered: 06/05/07
Posts: 19,584
Loc: outer space
Last seen: 8 months, 30 days
Re: Chick snapped at me for letting her go first and holding door open? [Re: psyconaught]
    #19295967 - 12/19/13 12:22 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

psyconaught said:
going on a first date with someone is definitely not equal to going out with someone your in love with.




Are we supposed to believe that somebody who is that cheap and stingy is going to suddenly become generous with their partner once they get to know them? I doubt it.

Honestly, Heffy doesn't sound very old anyway. If I put my money on it, he's probably still living with his mom, and gets everything of his paid for. He is just too stingy to do it to somebody else, probably including his own children. :haha:


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Offlinepsyconaught
Chemical Connoisseur


Registered: 11/04/10
Posts: 6,100
Last seen: 7 years, 3 months
Re: Chick snapped at me for letting her go first and holding door open? [Re: Crystal G]
    #19296056 - 12/19/13 12:46 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

i don't think splitting the bill when you barely know someone is being stingy. I think thats pulling your own weight. I do and buy special things for my girl all the time not expecting reciprocation. But on a day to day basis we pretty much split everything. Why should it be different in the courting process? If the guy shells out a bunch of cash on a new interest he might expect 'something' in return. And the girl might feel obligated, in fact i KNOW a lot of girls feel obligated in those types of situations. If the guy insists he pays thats fine, but i don't think either party should be expected ahead of time to foot the bill.


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Think for yourself, question authority


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OfflineGHBeer
Intelligent Monkey
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Registered: 05/08/13
Posts: 76
Loc: Australia
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Re: Chick snapped at me for letting her go first and holding door open? [Re: psyconaught]
    #19296096 - 12/19/13 12:56 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Bring the romance back: fuck her in the ass


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OfflineHappyHooligan
Tree hugger


Registered: 11/06/13
Posts: 483
Loc: America Flag
Last seen: 6 years, 10 months
Re: Chick snapped at me for letting her go first and holding door open? [Re: ch1ck3n.s0up]
    #19296143 - 12/19/13 01:10 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

ch1ck3n.s0up said:
I was waiting for her to walk through doors first--ladies first--and she snapped at me, saying that I can just walk ahead and don't have to wait for her to go, and that I don't have to hold the door for her.





Obviously she was upset because last time you held the door for her, you forgot to slap her on the ass when she walked by. :lol: :lol:
Bitches love to have their butts slapped.



(clearly I'm joking, nobody get offended)


--------------------
Do you trust the government?

You may be suffering from Stockholm Syndrome.
:takingnotes::takingnotes::takingnotes:    :stoned2:    :facepalm3:


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Offlinepsyconaught
Chemical Connoisseur


Registered: 11/04/10
Posts: 6,100
Last seen: 7 years, 3 months
Re: Chick snapped at me for letting her go first and holding door open? [Re: HappyHooligan]
    #19296158 - 12/19/13 01:16 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

HappyHooligan said:
Quote:

ch1ck3n.s0up said:
I was waiting for her to walk through doors first--ladies first--and she snapped at me, saying that I can just walk ahead and don't have to wait for her to go, and that I don't have to hold the door for her.





Obviously she was upset because last time you held the door for her, you forgot to slap her on the ass when she walked by. :lol: :lol:
Bitches love to have their butts slapped.



(clearly I'm joking, nobody get offended)



my girlfriend actually expects me to slap her ass when i hold the door open for her :lol: and she gets mad if i don't


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Think for yourself, question authority


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OfflineHappyHooligan
Tree hugger


Registered: 11/06/13
Posts: 483
Loc: America Flag
Last seen: 6 years, 10 months
Re: Chick snapped at me for letting her go first and holding door open? [Re: psyconaught]
    #19296208 - 12/19/13 01:41 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

My boyfriend use to have this sub-conscious need to grab or squeeze my butt whenever other guys are around, or a guy starts checking me out. He said it was like telling the other guys "Hey...she's mine" :shrug: I kind of do the same thing when girls look at him, just in a less provocative way... I just hold his hand or ask for a kiss... lol sometimes I'll grab his junk if I wanna feel like I'm in charge lol


--------------------
Do you trust the government?

You may be suffering from Stockholm Syndrome.
:takingnotes::takingnotes::takingnotes:    :stoned2:    :facepalm3:


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Offlinepsyconaught
Chemical Connoisseur


Registered: 11/04/10
Posts: 6,100
Last seen: 7 years, 3 months
Re: Chick snapped at me for letting her go first and holding door open? [Re: HappyHooligan]
    #19296213 - 12/19/13 01:45 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

yep he's definitely doing a 'fuck off she's taken' gesture. :lol:


--------------------
Think for yourself, question authority


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OfflineHeffy
BrauMeister
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Registered: 08/30/04
Posts: 3,262
Loc: International Traveller
Last seen: 5 years, 9 months
Re: Chick snapped at me for letting her go first and holding door open? [Re: Crystal G]
    #19296615 - 12/19/13 05:11 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

And what does it say about you that you're so cheap you're not even willing to spend a single cent on the woman that you love? I'm guessing, it doesn't bode well for your character.




You mean that I'm so cheap I wont spend money on someone I've just met?

Quote:

Just think for a second how dating works. YOU are NOT the one choosing the woman. The woman is the one choosing to be with you.



Except now I'm the one choosing NOT to be with certain women, because I think they are vapid materialistic bitches.

Quote:

Historically, the man is the one that first asks the woman out on the date, arranges the date, romances the woman, etc. Essentially, you are not the one that gets to decide to be with her. Ultimately, SHE is the one who decides whether or not YOU are interesting enough for HER. This whole period of courtship is all an attempt to woo her to build up to the ultimate point, where you ask her to marry you and make her yours. Again, the decision is not up to you, it's up to HER.




Actually, historically it was much more common for men to just buy their spouse from her father.

Quote:

Then, after marriage, traditionally the roles reverse. The wife is usually the one that takes care of her husband, makes food for her husband, takes care of his babies, etc. That's really what this whole period of courtship is all about, in a way.



And what happened with that? You realize women divorce at much higher rates then men, and generally due to "dissatisfaction". So I should prostrate myself before some women so she will be loyal to me? Except in modern society I have absolutely no expectation that she will be.

Quote:

Now if you don't want to do anything romantic and take out your calculator and make her pay for everything 50/50 down the line that's up to you. Just don't be surprised if you get passed up for guys who are a lot less stingy and cheap than you.

Since being an adult, I've never been on a date with a guy like you, thank god. But if I were to come across a guy like you, the only thing I'd be thinking is, "How would this guy feel if we were living together, and I got into an accident and became disabled, or couldn't work because I just had children? I'm guessing this guy would resent me for having to support me." YEAH, NO THANKS.

Therefore, rule #1 always will be: Don't ever date somebody who is cheap and stingy with you. They can be cheap and smart-shoppers, like I consider myself cheap and frugal, but definitely not when it comes to the person that you love.




I make very good money, and I'm very generous with it towards people who deserve my generosity. I'm confident I can find a better mate than you, without spending my money like a chump to impress her.


--------------------
I am the king of Rome, and above grammar! - Emperor Sigismund


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OfflineHeffy
BrauMeister
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Registered: 08/30/04
Posts: 3,262
Loc: International Traveller
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Re: Chick snapped at me for letting her go first and holding door open? [Re: Heffy]
    #19296627 - 12/19/13 05:15 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Honestly, Heffy doesn't sound very old anyway. If I put my money on it, he's probably still living with his mom, and gets everything of his paid for. He is just too stingy to do it to somebody else, probably including his own children. :haha:




I have a demanding job working in a special department for one of the largest companies in my industry.
I make very good money and live by myself in a very nice apartment, in one of the most expensive cities in North America.
You are like 0-6 on assuming things about me.

I could assume things about you, but you've already told me enough for me to know I wouldn't consider you a suitable mate.


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I am the king of Rome, and above grammar! - Emperor Sigismund


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