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Offlinech1ck3n.s0up
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Chick snapped at me for letting her go first and holding door open?
    #19286140 - 12/16/13 09:47 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Sort of a friend with a feminist streak. I was waiting for her to walk through doors first--ladies first--and she snapped at me, saying that I can just walk ahead and don't have to wait for her to go, and that I don't have to hold the door for her.

:shrug:

Maybe Dave Chapelle said it best, "yes, romance is dead... and the women killed it."


--------------------

"Inspiration ~ Move me brightly ~ light the song with sense and color ~ hold away despair ~ more than this I will not ask ~ faced with mysteries dark and vast ~ statements just seem vain at last" --Jerry Garcia, Terrapin Station

"Officer, I'm going to remain silent, and I would like to speak with a lawyer. I'm not resisting, but I don't consent to any searches.


Edited by ch1ck3n.s0up (12/16/13 09:48 PM)


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InvisibleSleepwalker
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Re: Chick snapped at me for letting her go first and holding door open? [Re: ch1ck3n.s0up] * 1
    #19286362 - 12/16/13 10:30 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

I hold the door open for men, women, children, whoever.  She has some issues.


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Invisiblememes
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Re: Chick snapped at me for letting her go first and holding door open? [Re: Sleepwalker] * 1
    #19286394 - 12/16/13 10:40 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

tell her you were raised with chivalry in mind and she should keep gratitude in hers.


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OfflineCrystal G
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Re: Chick snapped at me for letting her go first and holding door open? [Re: memes] * 1
    #19286484 - 12/16/13 11:04 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

I don't really understand why it bothers people so much.


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Offlinepsyconaught
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Re: Chick snapped at me for letting her go first and holding door open? [Re: Crystal G]
    #19286704 - 12/17/13 12:23 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

i've had this happen to be before with feminist psycho's. Even though i hold the door open for everyone.


--------------------
Think for yourself, question authority


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InvisibleMoorning Due
been know to derp


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Re: Chick snapped at me for letting her go first and holding door open? [Re: psyconaught]
    #19286815 - 12/17/13 01:07 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Seen the same thing with a guy with crutches and a disability.


--------------------
Cause we all have wings. But some of us don't know why...


My very own funnies thread: LINKY


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Offlinegulper2323
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Re: Chick snapped at me for letting her go first and holding door open? [Re: ch1ck3n.s0up]
    #19286881 - 12/17/13 01:55 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

ch1ck3n.s0up said:
Sort of a friend with a feminist streak. I was waiting for her to walk through doors first--ladies first--and she snapped at me, saying that I can just walk ahead and don't have to wait for her to go, and that I don't have to hold the door for her.




Next time slam the door in her face and ask her the following "Was that better?!?!"


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OfflineHerbologist
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Re: Chick snapped at me for letting her go first and holding door open? [Re: gulper2323]
    #19287921 - 12/17/13 10:29 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Girls like that are fuckin annoying.  Just be damn grateful, shit.

I hold the door open for a lot of people not just girls


--------------------
Shroomery Law:  Don't piss off the leftist mods & their friends! :banhamster:


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OfflineReginaldPMcpoop
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Re: Chick snapped at me for letting her go first and holding door open? [Re: ch1ck3n.s0up]
    #19288010 - 12/17/13 10:57 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

I offered to hold the door for an old mean lady in a wheelchair one day and she said, "uh..ok I guess."

I heard her yell at some guy once while they were discussing the bible in a restaurant. She's scary.


--------------------
:bananadance:


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OfflineCrystal G
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Re: Chick snapped at me for letting her go first and holding door open? [Re: Herbologist]
    #19288577 - 12/17/13 01:13 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Herbologist said:
Girls like that are fuckin annoying.  Just be damn grateful, shit.

I hold the door open for a lot of people not just girls




Same here. At my university everybody held the door open for each other and we all said thank you whenever somebody did it.

Now I have a question here pertaining to the same topic...

Whenever I'm out on a date, I always say thank you to every small thing the guy does. I say thank you whenever he opens the car door for me, I say thank you whenever he pulls out my seat in the restaurant, I say thank you when he pays the bill, I say thank you whenever he opens the door for me...

My question is, am I saying thank you too often? Should I always continue to say thank you whenever a guy does these things for me? Because sometimes I feel like I'm saying it too often.


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Anonymous #1

Re: Chick snapped at me for letting her go first and holding door open? [Re: Crystal G]
    #19288590 - 12/17/13 01:17 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Better than becoming the ungrateful bitch. If you want to say thank you and it be meaningful, do something nice for him and explain that you appreciate him.


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Invisiblememes
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Re: Chick snapped at me for letting her go first and holding door open? [Re: Crystal G]
    #19289064 - 12/17/13 03:12 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Do you appreciate it?  Then say thank you each time. 


if it's a guy  you'll be seeing again, or frequently, you can bring it up in conversation that you really appreciate it how he does X, Y, and Z for you - and taht you're starting to get self-conscious about how often you verbalize your "thank yous"  (say it all sheepish).  then you can start weaning off the individualized "thank you"'s, as you've now applied a blanket appreciation to the situations


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OfflineHeffy
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Re: Chick snapped at me for letting her go first and holding door open? [Re: Crystal G]
    #19289081 - 12/17/13 03:15 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Crystal G said:
I don't really understand why it bothers people so much.




Because hardline feminists are incredibly insecure, and terrible at communicating?


--------------------
I am the king of Rome, and above grammar! - Emperor Sigismund


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OfflineHeffy
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Re: Chick snapped at me for letting her go first and holding door open? [Re: Crystal G]
    #19289084 - 12/17/13 03:18 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Crystal G said:
Quote:

Herbologist said:
Girls like that are fuckin annoying.  Just be damn grateful, shit.

I hold the door open for a lot of people not just girls




Same here. At my university everybody held the door open for each other and we all said thank you whenever somebody did it.

Now I have a question here pertaining to the same topic...

Whenever I'm out on a date, I always say thank you to every small thing the guy does. I say thank you whenever he opens the car door for me, I say thank you whenever he pulls out my seat in the restaurant, I say thank you when he pays the bill, I say thank you whenever he opens the door for me...

My question is, am I saying thank you too often? Should I always continue to say thank you whenever a guy does these things for me? Because sometimes I feel like I'm saying it too often.




When someone does something nice for you you should say thank you. That being said I would never open the door, AND pull up the chair, AND pay the bill, etc. To me that sounds like something a chump would do. Then again, if I go out on a date with a girl, and she doesn't bring money cause she assumes that I should pay for HER dinner, she can wash fucking dishes as far as I'm concerned..


--------------------
I am the king of Rome, and above grammar! - Emperor Sigismund


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OfflineCrystal G
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Re: Chick snapped at me for letting her go first and holding door open? [Re: Heffy]
    #19290264 - 12/17/13 07:35 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Heffy said:
When someone does something nice for you you should say thank you. That being said I would never open the door, AND pull up the chair, AND pay the bill, etc. To me that sounds like something a chump would do. Then again, if I go out on a date with a girl, and she doesn't bring money cause she assumes that I should pay for HER dinner, she can wash fucking dishes as far as I'm concerned..




Ummm, how old are you?

It's interesting, because there are guys who will complain if you even TRY to pay for the date. Saying that women are trying to take away their masculinity and are trying to become men by trying to pay.

Some men, believe it or not, take PRIDE in doing these things, and don't view it as "shameful" like you do. Sounds like you yourself have some complexities and insecurities, just like those overly feminist girls who view it as shameful that somebody is holding the door open for them.

Then there are the men who complain that they have to pay for the date, because they view women as "mooches," even though a lot of men don't like when you try to pay.

So basically, either way you can't win... :bored:


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OfflineManianFHS
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Re: Chick snapped at me for letting her go first and holding door open? [Re: Sleepwalker]
    #19290278 - 12/17/13 07:39 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Sleepwalker said:
I hold the door open for men, women, children, whoever.  She has some issues.





right i hold it open for anyone. dogs, fuckin a its just a cool thing to do


--------------------
notapillow said: "you are going about this endeavor all wrong. clear your mind of useless fear and concern. buy the ticket, take the ride, and all that.... "

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OfflineManianFHS
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Re: Chick snapped at me for letting her go first and holding door open? [Re: Crystal G]
    #19290295 - 12/17/13 07:43 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Crystal G said:
It's interesting, because there are guys who will complain if you even TRY to pay for the date. Saying that women are trying to take away their masculinity and are trying to become men by trying to pay.





haha thats funny. ive definitely never complained when a girl offered to pick up or split the tab, though ill usually be the first to grab the check.

my gf of 2 years is so 50/50. she refuses to let me pay for her shit. not a feminist thing, she just wants to be self sufficient. its really respectable actually.


--------------------
notapillow said: "you are going about this endeavor all wrong. clear your mind of useless fear and concern. buy the ticket, take the ride, and all that.... "

ChrisWho said: "It's all about the journey, not the destination."


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OfflineCrystal G
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Re: Chick snapped at me for letting her go first and holding door open? [Re: Heffy]
    #19290324 - 12/17/13 07:50 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Heffy said:
When someone does something nice for you you should say thank you. That being said I would never open the door, AND pull up the chair, AND pay the bill, etc. To me that sounds like something a chump would do. Then again, if I go out on a date with a girl, and she doesn't bring money cause she assumes that I should pay for HER dinner, she can wash fucking dishes as far as I'm concerned..




To be honest, if courting disappeared completely, I would probably lose all interest in dating.

It's pretty funny you have this viewpoint, because you would probably expect the woman you're dating to have sex with you whenever you want, AND be faithful to you, right?

You'd probably be the type of guy that would expect her to cook, clean, and do all the household and child-rearing duties and perform superbly in bed ON TOP of bringing home 50% of the bacon. :bored:


Edited by Crystal G (12/18/13 02:05 AM)


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Offlinech1ck3n.s0up
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Re: Chick snapped at me for letting her go first and holding door open? [Re: Crystal G]
    #19290667 - 12/17/13 09:21 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Crystal G said:
Whenever I'm out on a date, I always say thank you to every small thing the guy does. I say thank you whenever he opens the car door for me, I say thank you whenever he pulls out my seat in the restaurant, I say thank you when he pays the bill, I say thank you whenever he opens the door for me...

My question is, am I saying thank you too often? Should I always continue to say thank you whenever a guy does these things for me? Because sometimes I feel like I'm saying it too often.



"You can thank me later." :wink:


--------------------

"Inspiration ~ Move me brightly ~ light the song with sense and color ~ hold away despair ~ more than this I will not ask ~ faced with mysteries dark and vast ~ statements just seem vain at last" --Jerry Garcia, Terrapin Station

"Officer, I'm going to remain silent, and I would like to speak with a lawyer. I'm not resisting, but I don't consent to any searches.


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OfflineCrystal G
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Re: Chick snapped at me for letting her go first and holding door open? [Re: ch1ck3n.s0up]
    #19290973 - 12/17/13 10:48 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

ch1ck3n.s0up said:
Quote:

Crystal G said:
Whenever I'm out on a date, I always say thank you to every small thing the guy does. I say thank you whenever he opens the car door for me, I say thank you whenever he pulls out my seat in the restaurant, I say thank you when he pays the bill, I say thank you whenever he opens the door for me...

My question is, am I saying thank you too often? Should I always continue to say thank you whenever a guy does these things for me? Because sometimes I feel like I'm saying it too often.



"You can thank me later." :wink:




Yes. I think a lot of guys forget that your average woman is not as interested in guys or sex as much as men are, so men have to keep women's attention by courting and romancing them. Men often forget that for every 1 beautiful woman, they are competing with dozens of other guys out there. And to be honest if you're not offering women anything except your *sparkling wit and personality* (which I can tell in the case of Heffy is a dud :lol:), there's nothign enticing women to even want you.


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Offlineclaraclairvoyant
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Re: Chick snapped at me for letting her go first and holding door open? [Re: ch1ck3n.s0up]
    #19290982 - 12/17/13 10:51 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

OP that girl just sounds rude. it's just common courtesy to hold the door for ppl. i do it for ppl too and i'm a girl. i also appreciate it when someone does it for me!


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InvisibleChinChiller
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Re: Chick snapped at me for letting her go first and holding door open? [Re: claraclairvoyant]
    #19290997 - 12/17/13 10:57 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Yeah I always try to hold the door open for everyone. Its basic politeness, some feminists just have sticks up their butts about a lot of random stuff with nimwitted logic.


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InvisibleMe_Roy
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Re: Chick snapped at me for letting her go first and holding door open? [Re: Crystal G]
    #19291013 - 12/17/13 11:04 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Crystal G said:
Quote:

Herbologist said:
Girls like that are fuckin annoying.  Just be damn grateful, shit.

I hold the door open for a lot of people not just girls




Same here. At my university everybody held the door open for each other and we all said thank you whenever somebody did it.

Now I have a question here pertaining to the same topic...

Whenever I'm out on a date, I always say thank you to every small thing the guy does. I say thank you whenever he opens the car door for me, I say thank you whenever he pulls out my seat in the restaurant, I say thank you when he pays the bill, I say thank you whenever he opens the door for me...

My question is, am I saying thank you too often? Should I always continue to say thank you whenever a guy does these things for me? Because sometimes I feel like I'm saying it too often.




Chrys,

Having been on the other end of that situation, I have to say that there comes a point when you can drop the thank-yous. Your date is doing all this to build the kind of communication that doesn't need words. Once you've established the right kind of rapport (which might take as little as walking into the restaurant and being seated), eye contact, (very) subtle smiles, and readiness to engage in conversation will say enough.


Edited by Me_Roy (12/18/13 08:40 AM)


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InvisibleChinChiller
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Re: Chick snapped at me for letting her go first and holding door open? [Re: Me_Roy]
    #19291026 - 12/17/13 11:09 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

You have to find the right balance of thank you's. Obviously after someone pays the bill for dinner you say thank you or gives you a ride home. I've always found its best to just say thank you at the end of the night that covers everything, that way it shows your appreciation without constantly thanking the person for every little thing.


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Invisiblememes
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Re: Chick snapped at me for letting her go first and holding door open? [Re: Crystal G]
    #19291986 - 12/18/13 06:23 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Crystal G said:
To be honest, if courting disappeared completely, I would probably lose all interest in dating.




that's funny, i am your antithesis.

if courting disappeared, i'd be great at dating:
"So, let's sit down and compare long-term life goals, likes and dislikes, personal quarks, long-term career plan, and preemptive retirement ideas.  Oh, looks like we're somewhat of a match, and you didnt stumble your way through a focused discussion!  Let's be dating now and figure out if it works along the way"


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InvisibleShins
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Re: Chick snapped at me for letting her go first and holding door open? [Re: Crystal G]
    #19292639 - 12/18/13 10:04 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Crystal G said:
Quote:

Herbologist said:
Girls like that are fuckin annoying.  Just be damn grateful, shit.

I hold the door open for a lot of people not just girls




Same here. At my university everybody held the door open for each other and we all said thank you whenever somebody did it.

Now I have a question here pertaining to the same topic...

Whenever I'm out on a date, I always say thank you to every small thing the guy does. I say thank you whenever he opens the car door for me, I say thank you whenever he pulls out my seat in the restaurant, I say thank you when he pays the bill, I say thank you whenever he opens the door for me...

My question is, am I saying thank you too often? Should I always continue to say thank you whenever a guy does these things for me? Because sometimes I feel like I'm saying it too often.





Its always nice to feel appreciated, I say keep doung it!  Oh and blowjobs.


--------------------
http://yourlogicalfallacyis.com/


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InvisibleShins
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Re: Chick snapped at me for letting her go first and holding door open? [Re: Heffy]
    #19292653 - 12/18/13 10:08 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Heffy said:
Quote:

Crystal G said:
Quote:

Herbologist said:
Girls like that are fuckin annoying.  Just be damn grateful, shit.

I hold the door open for a lot of people not just girls




Same here. At my university everybody held the door open for each other and we all said thank you whenever somebody did it.

Now I have a question here pertaining to the same topic...

Whenever I'm out on a date, I always say thank you to every small thing the guy does. I say thank you whenever he opens the car door for me, I say thank you whenever he pulls out my seat in the restaurant, I say thank you when he pays the bill, I say thank you whenever he opens the door for me...

My question is, am I saying thank you too often? Should I always continue to say thank you whenever a guy does these things for me? Because sometimes I feel like I'm saying it too often.




When someone does something nice for you you should say thank you. That being said I would never open the door, AND pull up the chair, AND pay the bill, etc. To me that sounds like something a chump would do. Then again, if I go out on a date with a girl, and she doesn't bring money cause she assumes that I should pay for HER dinner, she can wash fucking dishes as far as I'm concerned..





Call me old fasioned but I love doing that stuff.  Chivalry is not dead!  Luckly I'm seeing a girl who loves it too so it works out good.


--------------------
http://yourlogicalfallacyis.com/


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OfflineHeffy
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Re: Chick snapped at me for letting her go first and holding door open? [Re: Crystal G]
    #19294767 - 12/18/13 07:16 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Some men, believe it or not, take PRIDE in doing these things, and don't view it as "shameful" like you do. Sounds like you yourself have some complexities and insecurities, just like those overly feminist girls who view it as shameful that somebody is holding the door open for them.




There's a difference between doing something nice for somebody, and expecting somebody to do something nice for you.
One is nice, the other is rude and presumptuous.

Quote:

To be honest, if courting disappeared completely, I would probably lose all interest in dating.

It's pretty funny you have this viewpoint, because you would probably expect the woman you're dating to have sex with you whenever you want, AND be faithful to you, right?

You'd probably be the type of guy that would expect her to cook, clean, and do all the household and child-rearing duties and perform superbly in bed ON TOP of bringing home 50% of the bacon.




It's nice to know that your only interest in dating comes from a mans willingness to pander to you based on your perceived higher social value. I better save up a dowry in case I end up with a girl like you.

I wouldn't expect anyone to have sex with me ever if they didn't want to, nor would I expect anyone to be faithful to me unless they had voluntarily agreed to do so. Cooking and cleaning are household chores, I would expect a housemate to do their share. I hate children, and someone who puts me to sleep in the sack isn't a suitable partner.

Looks like all your assumptions about me were wrong.

Quote:

Yes. I think a lot of guys forget that your average woman is not as interested in guys or sex as much as men are, so men have to keep women's attention by courting and romancing them. Men often forget that for every 1 beautiful woman, they are competing with dozens of other guys out there. And to be honest if you're not offering women anything except your *sparkling wit and personality* (which I can tell in the case of Heffy is a dud :lol:), there's nothign enticing women to even want you.




This is the main reason I've lost interest in dating. Most women seem to be only interested in what men can offer them, rather than having a real reciprocal relationship.


--------------------
I am the king of Rome, and above grammar! - Emperor Sigismund


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OfflineCrystal G
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Re: Chick snapped at me for letting her go first and holding door open? [Re: Heffy]
    #19295062 - 12/18/13 08:29 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

This is the main reason I've lost interest in dating. Most women seem to be only interested in what men can offer them, rather than having a real reciprocal relationship.




And what does it say about you that you're so cheap you're not even willing to spend a single cent on the woman that you love? I'm guessing, it doesn't bode well for your character.

Just think for a second how dating works. YOU are NOT the one choosing the woman. The woman is the one choosing to be with you.

Historically, the man is the one that first asks the woman out on the date, arranges the date, romances the woman, etc. Essentially, you are not the one that gets to decide to be with her. Ultimately, SHE is the one who decides whether or not YOU are interesting enough for HER. This whole period of courtship is all an attempt to woo her to build up to the ultimate point, where you ask her to marry you and make her yours. Again, the decision is not up to you, it's up to HER.

Then, after marriage, traditionally the roles reverse. The wife is usually the one that takes care of her husband, makes food for her husband, takes care of his babies, etc. That's really what this whole period of courtship is all about, in a way.

Now if you don't want to do anything romantic and take out your calculator and make her pay for everything 50/50 down the line that's up to you. Just don't be surprised if you get passed up for guys who are a lot less stingy and cheap than you.

Since being an adult, I've never been on a date with a guy like you, thank god. But if I were to come across a guy like you, the only thing I'd be thinking is, "How would this guy feel if we were living together, and I got into an accident and became disabled, or couldn't work because I just had children? I'm guessing this guy would resent me for having to support me." YEAH, NO THANKS.

Therefore, rule #1 always will be: Don't ever date somebody who is cheap and stingy with you. They can be cheap and smart-shoppers, like I consider myself cheap and frugal, but definitely not when it comes to the person that you love.


Edited by Crystal G (12/18/13 08:37 PM)


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Offlinepsyconaught
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Re: Chick snapped at me for letting her go first and holding door open? [Re: Crystal G]
    #19295569 - 12/18/13 10:44 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

going on a first date with someone is definitely not equal to going out with someone your in love with.


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OfflineUzziel
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Re: Chick snapped at me for letting her go first and holding door open? [Re: psyconaught]
    #19295677 - 12/18/13 11:12 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

I had this happen to me back in college. It was just another normal day for me, opened the door for a lady and a guy coming by like 5 feet behind her and she just gave me a mean ass look and said "I can open the door myself, thanks for nothing"

Like shit... I was just being polite, the dude just gave me me the same look I had on... :wtf:


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OfflineCrystal G
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Re: Chick snapped at me for letting her go first and holding door open? [Re: psyconaught]
    #19295967 - 12/19/13 12:22 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

psyconaught said:
going on a first date with someone is definitely not equal to going out with someone your in love with.




Are we supposed to believe that somebody who is that cheap and stingy is going to suddenly become generous with their partner once they get to know them? I doubt it.

Honestly, Heffy doesn't sound very old anyway. If I put my money on it, he's probably still living with his mom, and gets everything of his paid for. He is just too stingy to do it to somebody else, probably including his own children. :haha:


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Offlinepsyconaught
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Re: Chick snapped at me for letting her go first and holding door open? [Re: Crystal G]
    #19296056 - 12/19/13 12:46 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

i don't think splitting the bill when you barely know someone is being stingy. I think thats pulling your own weight. I do and buy special things for my girl all the time not expecting reciprocation. But on a day to day basis we pretty much split everything. Why should it be different in the courting process? If the guy shells out a bunch of cash on a new interest he might expect 'something' in return. And the girl might feel obligated, in fact i KNOW a lot of girls feel obligated in those types of situations. If the guy insists he pays thats fine, but i don't think either party should be expected ahead of time to foot the bill.


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OfflineGHBeer
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Re: Chick snapped at me for letting her go first and holding door open? [Re: psyconaught]
    #19296096 - 12/19/13 12:56 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Bring the romance back: fuck her in the ass


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OfflineHappyHooligan
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Re: Chick snapped at me for letting her go first and holding door open? [Re: ch1ck3n.s0up]
    #19296143 - 12/19/13 01:10 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

ch1ck3n.s0up said:
I was waiting for her to walk through doors first--ladies first--and she snapped at me, saying that I can just walk ahead and don't have to wait for her to go, and that I don't have to hold the door for her.





Obviously she was upset because last time you held the door for her, you forgot to slap her on the ass when she walked by. :lol: :lol:
Bitches love to have their butts slapped.



(clearly I'm joking, nobody get offended)


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Re: Chick snapped at me for letting her go first and holding door open? [Re: HappyHooligan]
    #19296158 - 12/19/13 01:16 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

HappyHooligan said:
Quote:

ch1ck3n.s0up said:
I was waiting for her to walk through doors first--ladies first--and she snapped at me, saying that I can just walk ahead and don't have to wait for her to go, and that I don't have to hold the door for her.





Obviously she was upset because last time you held the door for her, you forgot to slap her on the ass when she walked by. :lol: :lol:
Bitches love to have their butts slapped.



(clearly I'm joking, nobody get offended)



my girlfriend actually expects me to slap her ass when i hold the door open for her :lol: and she gets mad if i don't


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OfflineHappyHooligan
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Re: Chick snapped at me for letting her go first and holding door open? [Re: psyconaught]
    #19296208 - 12/19/13 01:41 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

My boyfriend use to have this sub-conscious need to grab or squeeze my butt whenever other guys are around, or a guy starts checking me out. He said it was like telling the other guys "Hey...she's mine" :shrug: I kind of do the same thing when girls look at him, just in a less provocative way... I just hold his hand or ask for a kiss... lol sometimes I'll grab his junk if I wanna feel like I'm in charge lol


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Re: Chick snapped at me for letting her go first and holding door open? [Re: HappyHooligan]
    #19296213 - 12/19/13 01:45 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

yep he's definitely doing a 'fuck off she's taken' gesture. :lol:


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OfflineHeffy
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Re: Chick snapped at me for letting her go first and holding door open? [Re: Crystal G]
    #19296615 - 12/19/13 05:11 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

And what does it say about you that you're so cheap you're not even willing to spend a single cent on the woman that you love? I'm guessing, it doesn't bode well for your character.




You mean that I'm so cheap I wont spend money on someone I've just met?

Quote:

Just think for a second how dating works. YOU are NOT the one choosing the woman. The woman is the one choosing to be with you.



Except now I'm the one choosing NOT to be with certain women, because I think they are vapid materialistic bitches.

Quote:

Historically, the man is the one that first asks the woman out on the date, arranges the date, romances the woman, etc. Essentially, you are not the one that gets to decide to be with her. Ultimately, SHE is the one who decides whether or not YOU are interesting enough for HER. This whole period of courtship is all an attempt to woo her to build up to the ultimate point, where you ask her to marry you and make her yours. Again, the decision is not up to you, it's up to HER.




Actually, historically it was much more common for men to just buy their spouse from her father.

Quote:

Then, after marriage, traditionally the roles reverse. The wife is usually the one that takes care of her husband, makes food for her husband, takes care of his babies, etc. That's really what this whole period of courtship is all about, in a way.



And what happened with that? You realize women divorce at much higher rates then men, and generally due to "dissatisfaction". So I should prostrate myself before some women so she will be loyal to me? Except in modern society I have absolutely no expectation that she will be.

Quote:

Now if you don't want to do anything romantic and take out your calculator and make her pay for everything 50/50 down the line that's up to you. Just don't be surprised if you get passed up for guys who are a lot less stingy and cheap than you.

Since being an adult, I've never been on a date with a guy like you, thank god. But if I were to come across a guy like you, the only thing I'd be thinking is, "How would this guy feel if we were living together, and I got into an accident and became disabled, or couldn't work because I just had children? I'm guessing this guy would resent me for having to support me." YEAH, NO THANKS.

Therefore, rule #1 always will be: Don't ever date somebody who is cheap and stingy with you. They can be cheap and smart-shoppers, like I consider myself cheap and frugal, but definitely not when it comes to the person that you love.




I make very good money, and I'm very generous with it towards people who deserve my generosity. I'm confident I can find a better mate than you, without spending my money like a chump to impress her.


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OfflineHeffy
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Re: Chick snapped at me for letting her go first and holding door open? [Re: Heffy]
    #19296627 - 12/19/13 05:15 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Honestly, Heffy doesn't sound very old anyway. If I put my money on it, he's probably still living with his mom, and gets everything of his paid for. He is just too stingy to do it to somebody else, probably including his own children. :haha:




I have a demanding job working in a special department for one of the largest companies in my industry.
I make very good money and live by myself in a very nice apartment, in one of the most expensive cities in North America.
You are like 0-6 on assuming things about me.

I could assume things about you, but you've already told me enough for me to know I wouldn't consider you a suitable mate.


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OfflineCrystal G
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Re: Chick snapped at me for letting her go first and holding door open? [Re: Heffy]
    #19297223 - 12/19/13 09:29 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Heffy said:
I make very good money and live by myself in a very nice apartment, in one of the most expensive cities in North America.




Where is that? Manhattan? San Francisco? Brentwood?


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Re: Chick snapped at me for letting her go first and holding door open? [Re: ch1ck3n.s0up]
    #19298436 - 12/19/13 03:12 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

ch1ck3n.s0up said:
Sort of a friend with a feminist streak. I was waiting for her to walk through doors first--ladies first--and she snapped at me, saying that I can just walk ahead and don't have to wait for her to go, and that I don't have to hold the door for her.

:shrug:

Maybe Dave Chapelle said it best, "yes, romance is dead... and the women killed it."



LOL WTF


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OfflineCrystal G
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Re: Chick snapped at me for letting her go first and holding door open? [Re: psyconaught]
    #19298827 - 12/19/13 04:46 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

psyconaught said:
i don't think splitting the bill when you barely know someone is being stingy. I think thats pulling your own weight. I do and buy special things for my girl all the time not expecting reciprocation. But on a day to day basis we pretty much split everything. Why should it be different in the courting process? If the guy shells out a bunch of cash on a new interest he might expect 'something' in return. And the girl might feel obligated, in fact i KNOW a lot of girls feel obligated in those types of situations. If the guy insists he pays thats fine, but i don't think either party should be expected ahead of time to foot the bill.




No, I don't view that there's anything wrong with it. In the past, when I was much younger I always halved the bill unless the guy absolutely insisted, a lot of times I even paid for everything because I was making more money.

But to be honest, I've had nothing but really bad experiences with guys who expect you to pay. Seems every one of them has taken advantage of me, either financially or in other ways, later on in the relationship.

The worst was when I was living with a boyfriend and I ended up getting pregnant by him. When we first started dating, I was making at least five times as much as him, so I paid for a lot of our dates. When I got pregnant, I lost my job for other reasons. I ended up finding another part-time job making around the same amount as him a few months later down the line. We moved in together, I was paying for half the rent, almost all the groceries, and he called me lazy because I was only working part-time.

Well, on top of feeling soooo tired and sleepy all the time from the pregnancy, I was also having complications with my pregnancy, so I wasn't even supposed to be working AT ALL!!!! That was when he as the father should have stepped in and offered to take care of everything, but he NEVER DID. Instead, he called me lazy, because I was only working part-time, and started feeling resentment towards me because he would have to pay for things like the electricity bill and the heating bill (which he postponed paying for like months, literally MONTHS we went without heat, because he thought that if he postponed paying it, I would step in and pay for it).

So because of it, I ended up having a miscarriage. It was already a complicated pregnancy to begin with, and I was not supposed to be working. On top of that, dude was stressing me out constantly, always pointing out shit that was wrong with me WHILE I WAS GETTING READY TO HAVE HIS BABY. The entire time I kept thinking this baby is a mistake. When I finally had the miscarriage, he cried. I didn't.

On top of that, he bitched about the fact that I bought him "a really shitty coffee pot" for Christmas (on top of a two-month membership to a rock-climbing gym), even though I was the one paying for both him and my family's gifts, WHILE PREGNANT, on limited funds.

God damn, there's so much more shit that I can't be bothered typing out right now. He's also the same type of guy that bitched about having to take care of the rent while his previous girlfriend was disabled and unable to work temporarily. Apparently he was engaged to her until that happened, and once she became sick and no longer "useful" to him, he dumped her.

So, ever since then, I've completely changed my ways. If I were to go out with a guy like Heffy, it just reeks to me of a guy who's really stingy and cheap. I would never EVER in my life go out with a guy like that ever again. I've learned from my past mistakes, and I wouldn't ever consider a guy who "expects" me to pay.

I absolutely REFUSE TO BELIEVE that somebody who is cheap would later on turn their ways and become "generous" once they get to know the person.


WHOOO man, airing my dirty laundry... first time I've talked about this on these forums... it feels goooooood. :hehehe:


Edited by Crystal G (12/19/13 04:53 PM)


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Offlinepsyconaught
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Re: Chick snapped at me for letting her go first and holding door open? [Re: Crystal G]
    #19298900 - 12/19/13 05:01 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

your making complete false equivalencies, if your having a baby with someone thats not the same league as a first/second date. Once again i don't think its cheap to expect the girl to half the bill. Neither party should expect the other to completely cover anything. I actually think if the girl expects the man to pay for everything she's the cheap and stingy one.


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OfflineCrystal G
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Re: Chick snapped at me for letting her go first and holding door open? [Re: psyconaught]
    #19299083 - 12/19/13 05:32 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

psyconaught said:
your making complete false equivalencies, if your having a baby with someone thats not the same league as a first/second date.




That's my point though, is that guys who feel resentment towards a first or second date, are also more likely to feel resentment towards their girlfriends or wives once something happens, like disability or pregnancy. That has been my experience with men who are like that, which is why I absolutely refuse to date them anymore. Its a little technique called "personality profiling."

Quote:

Once again i don't think its cheap to expect the girl to half the bill. Neither party should expect the other to completely cover anything. I actually think if the girl expects the man to pay for everything she's the cheap and stingy one.




I'd say it actually depends on who is making more, don't you think? So if a CEO is dating a hairdresser, do you think its right that the CEO asks the hairdresser to pay an expensive meal she might not be able to afford? That to me reeks of stingy. And since heffy claims to have bucketloads of money, I don't get what his gripe is.


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Offlinepsyconaught
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Re: Chick snapped at me for letting her go first and holding door open? [Re: Crystal G]
    #19299125 - 12/19/13 05:39 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

in your CEO situation sure some might think its 'right' that he pay for the whole meal, personally i would pay. But i don't think it should be expected, the hair dresser should be prepared to pay her share of a first date, even if she ends up not paying because the guy insisted. I'm sure a lot of guys would insist they pay, and thats fine, however it should not be expected, thats my point.
Also i find it interesting that this is very gender biased. If a man stated that he expected the women to pay for dinner and all of the dates etc. Everyone would jump on him like a lazy piece of shit pig.


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OfflineCrystal G
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Re: Chick snapped at me for letting her go first and holding door open? [Re: psyconaught]
    #19299393 - 12/19/13 06:45 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

psyconaught said:
in your CEO situation sure some might think its 'right' that he pay for the whole meal, personally i would pay. But i don't think it should be expected, the hair dresser should be prepared to pay her share of a first date, even if she ends up not paying because the guy insisted.




Really? Because what if the CEO is the one that asked the hairdresser out, AND picked the place? (Because that is what most guys do, they ask out and then pick the place.) So essentially, the CEO picked an extravagantly expensive place that the hairdresser would not ordinarily eat out at because she can't afford it. So the hairdresser should STILL be expected to pay, when she had no choice in eating out at this place?

I find it funny that a lot of these guys complaining about expecting women to pay the meal are probably also the same guys that would complain if they were expected to pay for half the wedding. I'm pretty sure paying for a wedding is infinitely more expensive than 2 years of dates.

Quote:

Also i find it interesting that this is very gender biased. If a man stated that he expected the women to pay for dinner and all of the dates etc. Everyone would jump on him like a lazy piece of shit pig.




:lol: Reminds me of my ex, who I dated for 5 years. :lol: After dating for three years, it suddenly dawned on me that he had NEVER ONCE taken me out or done anything romantically for me. I talked to him about it, and eventually he agreed to do it, but THE ENTIRE FUCKING TIME HE WOULD BITCH, ALL THE FUCKING TIME about how it was "sexist" that women always expect men to do romantic things for them (basically really similar shit to what Heffy is saying). And we had been dating THREE years at this point, not "one" or "two" dates, which inclines me to believe that men who are like this are also likely to be this way no matter how long they are with somebody.

But of course, my ex was gay before me, and apparently had a sugar daddy before me, so HE was the one that was used to being taken out shopping and wined and dined on. Apparently when it came time to do it for somebody else, suddenly he didn't like it anymore. The entire time I was with him I really felt I was not with a man, but a really whiney bitchy girlfriend or something.

I truly felt the whole time that I WAS THE MAN in our entire relationship. He had no sense of even protecting me. When I was at a dinner party with my family's, and my family and I had a fight and they really hurt me, I wanted to go with my boyfriend and LEAVE IMMEDIATELY. Any REAL guy would have automatically up and left and taken me to wherever I wanted to go. But noooo, he wanted to enjoy his precious sushi dinner, so he made me stay and have a miserable time while I was crying and not speaking the entire night. FUCK THAT GUY.

That was another ex that used me (and everybody around him) financially. For example, when he was sent to jail for drug possession, I visited him to put money on his commissary, EVEN MY PARENTS put money on his commissary, and he ended up spending the money MY PARENTS and I gave him to buy FUCKING DRUGS in jail. :facepalm: He also stole an $800 Prada bag that was given to me by my aunt, it was a really sentimental gift for me, and of course he "lost it" to drugs (I personally think he sold it to make drug money) and I would never see the bag again. He made empty promises to buy me the same bag, but of course I knew he would never make good on those promises.



I really wish more guys would chime their opinions in here. Just last week, before the creation of this thread, I saw a member in another thread bitching about how women are trying to claim masculinity over men by paying for dates, that this actually takes away men's masculinity and feminizes them. What do men on here really think about it?


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Re: Chick snapped at me for letting her go first and holding door open? [Re: Crystal G]
    #19299421 - 12/19/13 06:53 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

I saw a member in another thread bitching about how women are trying to claim masculinity over men by paying for dates, that this actually takes away men's masculinity and feminizes them. What do men on here really think about it?



i completely disagree with that point of view. When a girl can pay for dinner or carry her own weight that shows financial independence and maturity. Which is important to me in a partner and maturity is attractive to me :shrug: my girl appreciates that i let her pull her own weight. She hated that her ex would never let her pay for anything because she didn't want to feel helpless or dependent on anyone else.


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OfflineCrystal G
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Re: Chick snapped at me for letting her go first and holding door open? [Re: psyconaught]
    #19299440 - 12/19/13 06:58 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

psyconaught said:
i completely disagree with that point of view. When a girl can pay for dinner or carry her own weight that shows financial independence and maturity. Which is important to me in a partner and maturity is attractive to me :shrug: my girl appreciates that i let her pull her own weight. She hated that her ex would never let her pay for anything because she didn't want to feel helpless or dependent on anyone else.




Well, I felt that way when I was younger, but like I said, after my bad experiences, I really appreciate a guy who goes all the way. :muscles: Especially first date, it should be the guy's responsibility, ESPECIALLY if he's the one that asked her out and picked the place. Call me old-fashioned, but after learning from my past, that's what I like and that's what I'm attracted to.


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OfflineHerbologist
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Re: Chick snapped at me for letting her go first and holding door open? [Re: Crystal G]
    #19302782 - 12/20/13 12:47 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

I have no problem paying for dates and the entertainment that goes along with it.

But, Girls who NEVER pick up the bill, after a million dates, suck.


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Offlinezappaisgod
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Re: Chick snapped at me for letting her go first and holding door open? [Re: Crystal G]
    #19303463 - 12/20/13 03:23 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Crystal G said:
Quote:

Herbologist said:
Girls like that are fuckin annoying.  Just be damn grateful, shit.

I hold the door open for a lot of people not just girls




Same here. At my university everybody held the door open for each other and we all said thank you whenever somebody did it.

Now I have a question here pertaining to the same topic...

Whenever I'm out on a date, I always say thank you to every small thing the guy does. I say thank you whenever he opens the car door for me, I say thank you whenever he pulls out my seat in the restaurant, I say thank you when he pays the bill, I say thank you whenever he opens the door for me...

My question is, am I saying thank you too often? Should I always continue to say thank you whenever a guy does these things for me? Because sometimes I feel like I'm saying it too often.



No.  I thank the bus boy person when she fills my water glass.  It don't cost nothing to be nice like that.


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OfflineCrystal G
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Re: Chick snapped at me for letting her go first and holding door open? [Re: Herbologist]
    #19303842 - 12/20/13 04:47 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Herbologist said:
I have no problem paying for dates and the entertainment that goes along with it.

But, Girls who NEVER pick up the bill, after a million dates, suck.




I usually pay if I pick the place beforehand. For example, if I decide I want to go to a comedy show or a piano recital, I'll buy the tickets.

I'm a really good cook, and cooking is one of my biggest passions, so if I want to do something nice for a guy I'll usually arrange a picnic or cook for him.


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