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OfflineKonyap

Registered: 06/30/07
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Loc: Planet Piss
Last seen: 4 years, 2 months
Re: Hitting children [Re: Asante]
    #19278674 - 12/15/13 10:39 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

my mom used to spank me when I went to the bathroom in bed, force me to sit on the toilet for an hour after taking a pill, stick her finger up my ass, whatever it took I was a bad four year old


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OfflineKonichiwaffle
For profit


Registered: 10/01/13
Posts: 466
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Re: Hitting children [Re: Uzziel]
    #19278693 - 12/15/13 10:43 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

I would like to link this article for you.

http://www.apa.org/monitor/2012/04/spanking.aspx

I think there are enough significant studies that have been done recently to link physical discipline to increased aggressiveness, and other psychological disorders. 

It's basic cause and effect.  If you spank/hit your children as a disciplinary measures, your children will learn that violence is the only means at resolving conflict in their relationships.


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My country is the world and my religion is to do good.
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InvisibleEnlilMDiscord
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Posts: 65,505
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Re: Hitting children [Re: Asante]
    #19278701 - 12/15/13 10:45 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Wiccan_Seeker said:
USA is in the lead in parents beating their kids to death. Research has shown this is solely the kids fault.



This statement is the very definition of trolling.  You should be banned from the pub for that shit.


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InvisibleAsante
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Re: Hitting children [Re: Enlil]
    #19278720 - 12/15/13 10:50 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

It was obvious satire. No one took that at face value.


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InvisiblePrisoner#1
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Re: Hitting children [Re: Asante]
    #19278725 - 12/15/13 10:51 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Wiccan_Seeker said:


USA is in the lead in parents beating their kids to death. Research has shown this is solely the kids fault.





that's 5 countries, there's more than 140 countries on this planet.
how can we be in the lead if the sample size is so small


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InvisibleAsante
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Re: Hitting children [Re: Prisoner#1]
    #19278734 - 12/15/13 10:53 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

The difference is, no pun intendeed, striking though.


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OfflineMrBlueYoMind
Don't do drugs (Without me)

Registered: 04/27/11
Posts: 3,753
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Re: Hitting children [Re: Crystal G]
    #19278736 - 12/15/13 10:54 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Crystal G said:
That is TV, I really honestly have a hard time believing that is real. But if it is real, it most likely spawned from the child witnessing abuse towards his mother (likely from his father) at a young age. It is probably also from growing up in poor socioeconomic neighborhoods where he gained access to drugs at such a young age. I mean these girls want to be strippers because they think "it makes a lot of money." That alone tells me that people who come on Maury are dirt poor.




I agree, that shit is probably scripted/exaggerated for TV.  But there are kids who treat their parents like that, I've witnessed it.  It is the result of neglect.  I don't think spanking should be the go-to thing in the parenting arsenal, but I do think it could/ought be used in certain circumstances. 

But I can't stand it when parents slap their children on the mouth.

Do you think it's ever okay to "wash a mouth out with soap"?


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OfflineMescalean
Burke is love, burke is life.


Registered: 01/18/12
Posts: 6,755
Last seen: 6 years, 10 months
Re: Hitting children [Re: MrBlueYoMind]
    #19278762 - 12/15/13 10:59 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

MrBlueYoMind said:
Quote:

Crystal G said:
That is TV, I really honestly have a hard time believing that is real. But if it is real, it most likely spawned from the child witnessing abuse towards his mother (likely from his father) at a young age. It is probably also from growing up in poor socioeconomic neighborhoods where he gained access to drugs at such a young age. I mean these girls want to be strippers because they think "it makes a lot of money." That alone tells me that people who come on Maury are dirt poor.




I agree, that shit is probably scripted/exaggerated for TV.  But there are kids who treat their parents like that, I've witnessed it.  It is the result of neglect.  I don't think spanking should be the go-to thing in the parenting arsenal, but I do think it could/ought be used in certain circumstances. 

But I can't stand it when parents slap their children on the mouth.

Do you think it's ever okay to "wash a mouth out with soap"?




Um when my dad hit me I never mouthed off....


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OfflineUzziel
O_o


Registered: 12/30/10
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Re: Hitting children [Re: Konichiwaffle]
    #19278779 - 12/15/13 11:05 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Konichiwaffle said:
I would like to link this article for you.

http://www.apa.org/monitor/2012/04/spanking.aspx

I think there are enough significant studies that have been done recently to link physical discipline to increased aggressiveness, and other psychological disorders. 

It's basic cause and effect.  If you spank/hit your children as a disciplinary measures, your children will learn that violence is the only means at resolving conflict in their relationships.




Nope.. I was hit as a kid, as many others here were hit as well. I don't see violence as the answer at all unless as a last resort/self defense.

Your logic isn't sound, nor is the studies you provided.

It isn't "cause and effect"... WTF? The human condition is far more complex than simple cause and effect :rolleyes:


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OfflineMrBlueYoMind
Don't do drugs (Without me)

Registered: 04/27/11
Posts: 3,753
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Re: Hitting children [Re: Mescalean]
    #19278793 - 12/15/13 11:09 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Mescalean said:
Quote:

MrBlueYoMind said:
Quote:

Crystal G said:
That is TV, I really honestly have a hard time believing that is real. But if it is real, it most likely spawned from the child witnessing abuse towards his mother (likely from his father) at a young age. It is probably also from growing up in poor socioeconomic neighborhoods where he gained access to drugs at such a young age. I mean these girls want to be strippers because they think "it makes a lot of money." That alone tells me that people who come on Maury are dirt poor.




I agree, that shit is probably scripted/exaggerated for TV.  But there are kids who treat their parents like that, I've witnessed it.  It is the result of neglect.  I don't think spanking should be the go-to thing in the parenting arsenal, but I do think it could/ought be used in certain circumstances. 

But I can't stand it when parents slap their children on the mouth.

Do you think it's ever okay to "wash a mouth out with soap"?




Um when my dad hit me I never mouthed off....




Your statement implies you were hit for no reason.

I understand the rational.  I grew up in a pretty loving home, albeit a small one (Just me and my mom).  She wasn't afraid to spank me on the bottom if I needed it.  My best friend grew up in a worse environment.  His mom would beat him with anything handy- Vacuum-sweeper cords, hot wheels tracks, anything.  I witnessed this first hand (we met in 4th grade).  That kind of shit was fucked up, and I didn't understand it was wrong until I was older.

There has got to be a balance somewhere.  When it is overused, the child becomes desensitized to it and mocks it and then becomes more defiant. 

I think using terms of "I'm disappointed about this..." and "I'm very proud of this" can be far more effective. 

Also, one must acknowledge the child's dreams/goals/ideas and not be dismissive while being realistic.


Edited by MrBlueYoMind (12/15/13 11:20 AM)


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OfflineCrystal G
I'm a teapot


Registered: 06/05/07
Posts: 19,584
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Re: Hitting children [Re: MrBlueYoMind]
    #19278837 - 12/15/13 11:16 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Uzziel said:
It isn't "cause and effect"... WTF? The human condition is far more complex than simple cause and effect :rolleyes:




No, but it is proven that humans do treat others the same way that they have been treated themselves. They do internalize actions and behaviors that are inflicted upon them, and then emulate all that they have internalized.

Quote:

MrBlueYoMind said:
Do you think it's ever okay to "wash a mouth out with soap"?




I don't think that's bad. Children aren't traumatized or hurt when you wash their mouth out with soap, they more likely feel dislike or aversion.


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OfflineBassfreak
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Re: Hitting children [Re: Crystal G]
    #19278846 - 12/15/13 11:18 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

you should punish your kids by hitting them

thats how u learn...next time they wont do it, or if they do they know it better be worth it bc ur gonna get hit


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InvisiblePrisoner#1
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Registered: 01/22/03
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Re: Hitting children [Re: Crystal G]
    #19278861 - 12/15/13 11:21 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Crystal G said:
Quote:

MrBlueYoMind said:
Do you think it's ever okay to "wash a mouth out with soap"?




I don't think that's bad. Children aren't traumatized or hurt when you wash their mouth out with soap, they more likely feel dislike or aversion.





so dragging a kid to the bathroom and forcing a vile tasting substance into
their mouth that can make them sick is not abusive but a spanking is

so why again is hitting teens fine?


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OfflineKonichiwaffle
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Registered: 10/01/13
Posts: 466
Last seen: 6 years, 10 months
Re: Hitting children [Re: Uzziel]
    #19278878 - 12/15/13 11:23 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

How exactly is the study not sound? 

You are just one example out of a large percentage that has proven otherwise.

The human condition is very much a victim of cause and effect.  Whether it is simple, or not.

I am sorry, but if you want to criticize my logic, then at least give me the courtesy to tell me where the error is.  Numbers do not lie.  I have provided you with a number of statistics, plus a well put together article by the American Psychological Association itself to justify what I believe.  These are actual well-respected doctors who have been studying the effects of physical disciplinary actions for years.  You have given me nothing but your own self-evaluation, in which nobody here can verify because they do not know you personally. 

That, to me, is unsound logic.


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OfflineCrystal G
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Registered: 06/05/07
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Re: Hitting children [Re: Bassfreak]
    #19278884 - 12/15/13 11:24 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Bassfreak said:
thats how u learn...next time they wont do it, or if they do they know it better be worth it bc ur gonna get hit




I actually disagree that hitting is a good option or even a successful long-term option. When I was a kid, I would have been diagnosed with "ADD" or "ADHD," I was hyperactive and reckless and causing destruction all along my path. Whenever my behavior would get out of line, my mother would hit me in the face and it would stop my behavior... for a few hours. But eventually my behavior would come back, and when it would come back, it would come with a vengeance. My behavior would get even MORE out of control, in even MORE public places, because I wanted to get back at my mother by creating temper tantrums from hell in public. And I knew that as long as we were in public, I was 80% safe from getting hit.

I also learned from this behavior and became the school bully. Every day I would be sent to the principal's office for beating up some kid and making them cry. I felt like I was in the right, that I deserved to beat them up, because they pissed me off by doing something that I didn't agree with, and that I was "parenting them."

I also had childhood fantasies of murdering my parents, really well-thought out and evil, conniving plans that had I knew for 100% sure I would not have gotten caught, I would FOR SURE have carried out. The ONLY thing stopping me was the fact that I would most likely have gotten caught.

I swore that one day when I grew big enough, I would seek revenge. So when I grew to about 15 year old, I started hitting my parents. I felt that I deserved to hit them, that I was in the right, and that this was justice and karma. I ended up finding drugs instead and eventually my plans for murder got lost somewhere along the way.


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OfflineMescalean
Burke is love, burke is life.


Registered: 01/18/12
Posts: 6,755
Last seen: 6 years, 10 months
Re: Hitting children [Re: Bassfreak]
    #19278886 - 12/15/13 11:25 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Did anyone else ever get the liquid soap? That shit stuuuuck to the inside of your mouth.

Every time I've seen a child act out the parents always tries to coddle them and treat them as an equal. I never see the tantrum stop.

Now when I see a different kid throwing a tantrum, and the father begins to undo his belt the kid stops.

What does this tell me?


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OfflineCrystal G
I'm a teapot


Registered: 06/05/07
Posts: 19,584
Loc: outer space
Last seen: 8 months, 6 days
Re: Hitting children [Re: Prisoner#1]
    #19278891 - 12/15/13 11:25 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Prisoner#1 said:
Quote:

Crystal G said:
Quote:

MrBlueYoMind said:
Do you think it's ever okay to "wash a mouth out with soap"?




I don't think that's bad. Children aren't traumatized or hurt when you wash their mouth out with soap, they more likely feel dislike or aversion.





so dragging a kid to the bathroom and forcing a vile tasting substance into
their mouth that can make them sick is not abusive but a spanking is

so why again is hitting teens fine?




As I mentioned again, children aren't TRAUMATIZED or hurt deeply when you wash their mouth out with soap.

Pay attention to the cause and effect of TRAUMA. Hitting children induces TRAUMA and pathological behavior. Washing mouths out with soap does NOT.


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OfflineBassfreak
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Re: Hitting children [Re: Crystal G]
    #19278890 - 12/15/13 11:25 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

i just think people are too god damn sensitive about everything these days

i like old school shit, and i will be hitting my child if i ever have one when he needs it...you dont learn unless theres a punishment


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InvisiblePrisoner#1
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Re: Hitting children [Re: Crystal G]
    #19278896 - 12/15/13 11:27 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)


Quote:

Crystal G said:
Quote:

Bassfreak said:
thats how u learn...next time they wont do it, or if they do they know it better be worth it bc ur gonna get hit




I actually disagree that hitting is a good option or even a successful long-term option. When I was a kid, I would have been diagnosed with "ADD" or "ADHD," I was hyperactive and reckless and causing destruction all along my path. Whenever my behavior would get out of line, my mother would hit me in the face and it would stop my behavior... for a few hours. But eventually my behavior would come back, and when it would come back, it would come with a vengeance. My behavior would get even MORE out of control, in even MORE public places, because I wanted to get back at my mother by creating temper tantrums from hell in public. And I knew that as long as we were in public, I was 80% safe from getting hit.

I also learned from this behavior and became the school bully. Every day I would be sent to the principal's office for beating up some kid and making them cry. I felt like I was in the right, that I deserved to beat them up, because they pissed me off by doing something that I didn't agree with, and that I was "parenting them."

I also had childhood fantasies of murdering my parents, really well-thought out and evil, conniving plans that had I knew for 100% sure I would not have gotten caught, I would FOR SURE have carried out. The ONLY thing stopping me was the fact that I would most likely have gotten caught.

I swore that one day when I grew big enough, I would seek revenge. So when I grew to about 15 year old, I started hitting my parents. I felt that I deserved to hit them, that I was in the right, and that this was justice and karma. I ended up finding drugs instead and eventually my plans for murder got lost somewhere along the way.





and you dont for an instance believe that the problem lies with the overbearing
parents and yourself but it was only wht spanking that did this


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InvisibleSet
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Re: Hitting children [Re: Asante]
    #19278905 - 12/15/13 11:29 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Wiccan_Seeker said:
I believe in the parental emergency swat, because sometimes its really vital to get split second compliance but I'm against beating of children as a haphazard or ritualized form of punishment.

A parental emergency swat should be followed up on as soon as expedient with thge parent explaining their behavior and the urgency of it and include an apology for the swat.



Yes.  Thanks, I forgot to bring that up.

Quote:

Wiccan_Seeker said:
Quote:

Prisoner#1 said:
I was abused, physically beaten with what ever object was handy, I was
'emotionally' abused because my step father couldnt resist saying I was
stupid, it that I had no sense or what ever else came to mind




I was abused quite badly too and the more kids we can prevent turning into hardasses like you or social neurotics like me, the better off the world is. The good thing about you and me is what we were and are, not what was done to us.



Another good point.


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