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Offlineimachavel
I loved and lost but I loved-ftw
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Registered: 06/06/07
Posts: 31,408
Loc: You get banned for saying that Flag
Last seen: 57 minutes, 32 seconds
Re: The Masturbation Thread - Post AFTER You Rub One Out! [Re: Luberto]
    #19270138 - 12/13/13 10:34 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Luberto said:
I have to smash my Balls between a large encyclopedias pages while sitting on said book to even give me the excitement needed to make my cockles even semi, after that it's fuckin Indian burn time for my shaft. I usually do this till I see blisters form or until the flesh secrets plasma, then after all that I use lemon juice infused baby oil that I make at home. rub it gently all over my hands grasp firmly right behind the head with my thumb an pointer finger making a fist almost while cranking my wrist like I'm riding a motorcycle and digging my coke nail in my pee hole  While thinking about tongue punching a homeless crank whore prostitutes fart box and letting her chlamydia and gonorrhea infested pussy juice slowly trickle into my nostrils. After all that... I'll let you know how it went.




:rofl2: :laugh2: :lol:

If I wasnt in a laughing mood I would have just filtered "pussy juice"

This thread is a :whacker: :urinate: fest


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:kingcrankey: I did not say to edit my signature soulidarity! Now forever I will never remember what I said about understanding the secrets of the universe by paying attention to subtleties!

:facepalm: I'm never giving you the password again. Jerk


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OfflineKonyap

Registered: 06/30/07
Posts: 33,945
Loc: Planet Piss
Last seen: 4 years, 3 months
Re: The Masturbation Thread - Post AFTER You Rub One Out! [Re: imachavel]
    #19270195 - 12/13/13 10:52 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

old friends ex on facebook showing off dat ass

rubbed one out:thumbup:


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InvisibleFuturesight
Mind Mage
Male


Registered: 01/19/13
Posts: 1,188
Loc: The Candy Kingdom
Re: The Masturbation Thread - Post AFTER You Rub One Out! [Re: Konyap]
    #19270217 - 12/13/13 11:00 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Rubbed, now I'm smoking a grit. Life is good.


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Offlinempd
Lammen Gorthaur
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Registered: 10/22/12
Posts: 9,660
Loc: Mostly at home... Mostly....
Last seen: 8 years, 8 months
Re: The Masturbation Thread - Post AFTER You Rub One Out! [Re: Futuresight]
    #19270271 - 12/13/13 11:14 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

We need a rating on that last adventure.  Technical prowess marks, intensity marks, use of inanimate objects marks.  You know the drill.  Don't keep the East German judge waiting.


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There is no truer calling for mankind than that of true conservatism.


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Offlinest1llnox
dx'd PTSD/ADHD--please don't ask
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Registered: 11/27/12
Posts: 7,312
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Last seen: 5 years, 1 month
Re: The Masturbation Thread - Post AFTER You Rub One Out! [Re: mpd] * 2
    #19270280 - 12/13/13 11:16 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

I got banned for a thread like this when Tymo thought I was seriously about to post a "masturbation trip report" :rofl:. I was joking about it but it's gotta be the most hilarious idea I've ever hard.

Props OP. In B4 romper room!


--------------------
Back, bitches.
st1lln0x: so i'm on weed, temazepam, adderall, dexedrine, dxm, dph, alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, tryptophan, GABA, and kratom
Cavemen_savemen: st1lln0x, do you feel like a robot yet?
st1lln0x: I feel like a fucking Gundam
Click to friend me on Steam for Counter-Strike
:crankey: IS LIFE SKULLFUCKING YOU!? HAVE SOME FREE MORALE! :awesomenod:
Click if you want to feel you alone can do it! Click if you want to feel confident and beastly! Click if you want courage to let go and move on! And click the message if you need someone to talk to -- I'll understand, even if we "hate" each other on here :hug: :sun:


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OfflineHappyHooligan
Tree hugger


Registered: 11/06/13
Posts: 483
Loc: America Flag
Last seen: 6 years, 10 months
Re: The Masturbation Thread - Post AFTER You Rub One Out! [Re: imachavel]
    #19270568 - 12/13/13 12:32 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

imachavel said:
Quote:

HappyHooligan said:
I think I'm the only girl here :shiftyeyes:
Anywaysss I was in the bathtub & I was thinking about how me & my boyfriend have a lot of shower sex together when I go to his house. And he is just so fucking hot. :heart: I wish it was his hands rubbing my clit tonight. Cause he always plays with my nipples with his tongue, while he slides his hands down my pants :heart::heart: I feel weird posting this, blah but :shrug: Girls fiddle too. :lol:




Explaining the entire sexual experience you were thinking of? :what: Well you could have just said you were fiddling but ok anyway thanks for posting its nice to see female honesty





lol I like to be descriptive.


--------------------
Do you trust the government?

You may be suffering from Stockholm Syndrome.
:takingnotes::takingnotes::takingnotes:    :stoned2:    :facepalm3:


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Offlinempd
Lammen Gorthaur
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Registered: 10/22/12
Posts: 9,660
Loc: Mostly at home... Mostly....
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Re: The Masturbation Thread - Post AFTER You Rub One Out! [Re: HappyHooligan]
    #19270638 - 12/13/13 12:50 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

We like descriptive!  Bring it on.  Tell us your fantasy.


--------------------
There is no truer calling for mankind than that of true conservatism.


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Offlinest1llnox
dx'd PTSD/ADHD--please don't ask
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Registered: 11/27/12
Posts: 7,312
Loc: 913 KANSAS CITY 816 Flag
Last seen: 5 years, 1 month
Re: The Masturbation Thread - Post AFTER You Rub One Out! [Re: mpd]
    #19271187 - 12/13/13 03:04 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

I have a feeling MPD will be reporting another Rubbing Out of One shortly :lol:


--------------------
Back, bitches.
st1lln0x: so i'm on weed, temazepam, adderall, dexedrine, dxm, dph, alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, tryptophan, GABA, and kratom
Cavemen_savemen: st1lln0x, do you feel like a robot yet?
st1lln0x: I feel like a fucking Gundam
Click to friend me on Steam for Counter-Strike
:crankey: IS LIFE SKULLFUCKING YOU!? HAVE SOME FREE MORALE! :awesomenod:
Click if you want to feel you alone can do it! Click if you want to feel confident and beastly! Click if you want courage to let go and move on! And click the message if you need someone to talk to -- I'll understand, even if we "hate" each other on here :hug: :sun:


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Invisiblejewunit
Brutal!
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Registered: 01/11/07
Posts: 34,264
Loc: Ohio Flag
Re: The Masturbation Thread - Post AFTER You Rub One Out! [Re: mpd] * 2
    #19271194 - 12/13/13 03:05 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

My post count is about to sky rocket.
:rocket:


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!


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Offlinempd
Lammen Gorthaur
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Registered: 10/22/12
Posts: 9,660
Loc: Mostly at home... Mostly....
Last seen: 8 years, 8 months
Re: The Masturbation Thread - Post AFTER You Rub One Out! [Re: st1llnox]
    #19271203 - 12/13/13 03:08 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

I wish.


--------------------
There is no truer calling for mankind than that of true conservatism.


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InvisibleGalvie_Flu
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Registered: 06/30/02
Posts: 6,632
Re: The Masturbation Thread - Post AFTER You Rub One Out! [Re: mpd]
    #19271365 - 12/13/13 03:49 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

High Five!


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Invisiblejewunit
Brutal!
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Registered: 01/11/07
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Re: The Masturbation Thread - Post AFTER You Rub One Out! [Re: Galvie_Flu] * 4
    #19271541 - 12/13/13 04:32 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Not a good thread to be high fiving in.


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!


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Offlinesof4r0ckeRs1984
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Registered: 07/30/10
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Re: The Masturbation Thread - Post AFTER You Rub One Out! [Re: jewunit]
    #19273418 - 12/14/13 04:10 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

And don't forget to use a vacuum cleaner and lysol on your keyboard, mouse, cables, headphones aso to prevent contamination of your rather important parts.


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InvisibleNWlight
Just look


Registered: 01/12/10
Posts: 18,686
Re: The Masturbation Thread - Post AFTER You Rub One Out! [Re: jewunit]
    #19273566 - 12/14/13 06:27 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

jewunit said:
Not a good thread to be high fiving in.



:haha:


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:wizard::deemsters:


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OfflineT-Rex
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Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 04/05/08
Posts: 4,185
Loc: NY
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Re: The Masturbation Thread - Post AFTER You Rub One Out! [Re: koods]
    #19273591 - 12/14/13 06:45 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

koods said:
OP is a dirty old man getting these teenagers to whack off at his suggestion. That's hawt.



Ahaha Koods you did it again. I spit my coffee out onto my keyboard. Damn you


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Offlineimachavel
I loved and lost but I loved-ftw
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Registered: 06/06/07
Posts: 31,408
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Last seen: 57 minutes, 32 seconds
Re: The Masturbation Thread - Post AFTER You Rub One Out! [Re: T-Rex]
    #19273828 - 12/14/13 09:08 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Had a good one last night. I should have checked in but I just passed out. My girl cousin came to visit and was sleeping in the next room, she kept randomly walking in to ask me questions so I kind of hoped she would catch me, which would be cool because I was thinking of her anyway :datass:























































Just kidding :shrug: but hey what the hell I needed to make this thread more interesting


--------------------
:kingcrankey: I did not say to edit my signature soulidarity! Now forever I will never remember what I said about understanding the secrets of the universe by paying attention to subtleties!

:facepalm: I'm never giving you the password again. Jerk


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Offlinempd
Lammen Gorthaur
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Registered: 10/22/12
Posts: 9,660
Loc: Mostly at home... Mostly....
Last seen: 8 years, 8 months
Re: The Masturbation Thread - Post AFTER You Rub One Out! [Re: imachavel]
    #19273999 - 12/14/13 10:10 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Oh well.  Opportunity lost, experience gained.


--------------------
There is no truer calling for mankind than that of true conservatism.


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OfflineHappyHooligan
Tree hugger


Registered: 11/06/13
Posts: 483
Loc: America Flag
Last seen: 6 years, 10 months
Re: The Masturbation Thread - Post AFTER You Rub One Out! [Re: mpd]
    #19274335 - 12/14/13 11:31 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

mpd said:
We like descriptive!  Bring it on.  Tell us your fantasy.




tell me yours & i'll tell you mine.


--------------------
Do you trust the government?

You may be suffering from Stockholm Syndrome.
:takingnotes::takingnotes::takingnotes:    :stoned2:    :facepalm3:


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InvisibleLegend
RIP Sasha
Male


Registered: 03/29/10
Posts: 28,336
Loc: TX Flag
Re: The Masturbation Thread - Post AFTER You Rub One Out! [Re: TrentBoyett]
    #19274357 - 12/14/13 11:35 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

mjmihalov said:
Just got done wacking off...

MOTHERLESS FTW!




Looks like someone is as dirty as i


:naughty:


--------------------
No sympathy for the devil, keep that in mind.
[url=
]Buy the ticket, take the ride. [/url]
Are you lost?


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Offlinempd
Lammen Gorthaur
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Registered: 10/22/12
Posts: 9,660
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Re: The Masturbation Thread - Post AFTER You Rub One Out! [Re: HappyHooligan]
    #19274367 - 12/14/13 11:37 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

I usually focus on the sexcapades involving my wife from years gone by.  If that doesn't do the trick there is always some penetration shot in The Naked Woman Thread that more than suffice in most cases.  Then there are the Sexy Ladies of the Shroomery where I engage in fantasy sexual intercourse or oral sex with one (or more) of the ladies who so tastefully populate the thread.


--------------------
There is no truer calling for mankind than that of true conservatism.


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