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Offlineberdinwall
<3 whooooshhh


Registered: 06/10/12
Posts: 4,276
Loc: West Virginia
Last seen: 2 years, 3 months
Re: Ever had a bout of schizophrenia? [Re: JacksonMetaller]
    #19245249 - 12/08/13 02:17 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

after reading this Im pretty sure Im schizophrenic. But only when I smoke weed.

I start to add things up and think they are somehow related. and I think I support that with evidence that there are in fact synchronicity. So that when I'm high and 2 things suggest death, I start BELIEVING it because I know synchronicity does happen and has in some cases have foretold the future. So I may think I'm dying because I'm scrolling through the tv guide and I see 3 movies on that all have to do with death or something similar....and it's almost like you can find something related without even trying. like no matter where you turn it's gonna happen...the part that is almost too weird to be just paranoia is that when you're in that intensive mindstate...things really do start to happen that support all of the other things in synch. Like if I were to turn it to a channel that didn't have to do with death. 9 out of 10 times a commercial or someone on the show or whatever will say something that relates to what Im thinking. and a lot of the times it's not even reaching. I think the intensity of that mind state contains a lot of power, and that power feeds itself by manifesting things similar. its like a hyper active awareness that is so real and powerful. I could take a gravity bong right now and be there in less than 5 minutes


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Offlineakira_akuma
Φύσις κρύπτεσθαι ὕψιστος φιλεῖ


Registered: 08/28/09
Posts: 82,455
Loc: Onypeirophóros
Last seen: 4 years, 1 month
Re: Ever had a bout of schizophrenia? [Re: berdinwall]
    #19245276 - 12/08/13 02:22 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

crazy, not crazy; how can you tell? see all the connections people have made in this world, and we still can't stop believing in past mistakes; if we were sane, we'd have already abolished teaching, thinking, industry, politics, art, science, precipitation of gatherings and events; and would have just kept our opinions to ourselves.

right shroomery? can't be wrong. not even once. otherwise... it's time to memorialize some shit, so we can keep on keeping on; and having our presupposed opinions.

which is way more fun; even if we don't know wtf we're really doing.


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OfflineCynosure
allow me to be your guide.
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Registered: 10/06/09
Posts: 4,228
Last seen: 1 year, 13 days
Re: Ever had a bout of schizophrenia? [Re: Rhizohunter]
    #19245329 - 12/08/13 02:35 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

After a couple years of Dextromethorphan abuse, I sunk into a pit of paranoid schizophrenia. 

It built up slowly during the last year of my abuse and effected my trips dramatically.. but toward the end of my abuse (and, ultimately, being the reason I stopped using) it was carrying over into my sober life.  I could not take a hit of weed during that last year without going into a psychotic state.. and it took me a good 6 months (of no substances at all) to get to the point where I was able to realize the delusions and rationalize my way around them.  It wasn't for 12 months after I quit that I was able to call myself "free", though I do still have paranoid thoughts and delusions to this day (they are just much easier for me to overcome).

To sum up what went down in the least amount of words possible: I constantly had the feeling of someone watching me; though, who was watching me and what their purpose was changed frequently.  One day I would feel that I was being filmed for a television show and that all my faults, lies, etc. were being broadcast to the world.. and another day I would feel as if there were cameras everywhere filming me (usually some form of government entity, but it also spanned into individuals having hidden cameras in their houses or recording my conversations from their cell phones or even my cell phone).  It often got so intense that I could feel that everyone was looking at me in public, holding negative conversations about me, and reading my mind.  I would literally go out of my way to avoid main roads and kept as many walking paths as I could in the woods--but, even then, they had caught onto this and were placing cameras in the trees.  I could not walk into a public place without my mind filling with swarming thoughts of each individual, how they were judging me, and what they were thinking/saying about me.  One of the funniest ones, looking back, was that my life was being filmed and I was famous--but, no one would reach out to me in the public sphere as they didn't want to ruin the authenticity of the show. :lol:  One of the not so funny delusions was my friends all plotting against me and trying to harm/poison me or setting me up for traps; the intricacy of these plans was so in depth and I could never escape them.

Essentially, it boiled down to me learning that a lot of this was the formation of my conscience (something I didn't really have prior to my abuse).  Most of the episodes led back to me acting in a way that I "knew" or "felt" was wrong.

There is a lot more to the story and a few times I was truly blanketed in these delusions and would panic and do some crazy, weird shit to get myself to safety.

All-in-all, I feel it was a positive thing for me to have experienced.  I learned a lot about myself--especially how the workings of my mind are wired.

It was a long, tiring year and I put a lot of effort into "healing" myself.  I never did see a therapist, though I probably should have (or still should :lol:).

An interesting point to add: I experienced a LOT of deja vu during this time.  Quite a few instances of it were of dreams that I had recorded and actually came to happen (which would explode my symptoms for a good week or two at a time).  Though, a lot of them I could not connect to having ever experienced.

A book called "Dyanmic Patterns" by Kelso really sets the tone to how I experienced and analyzed patterns I found in the world.


--------------------
"You can peel it [language] off the ceiling and make it dance in front of you" - McKenna

<3 .


Edited by Cynosure (12/08/13 02:43 PM)


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OfflineJacksonMetaller
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Registered: 03/13/11
Posts: 13,361
Last seen: 1 year, 2 months
Re: Ever had a bout of schizophrenia? [Re: berdinwall]
    #19245514 - 12/08/13 03:17 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

berdinwall said:
after reading this Im pretty sure Im schizophrenic. But only when I smoke weed.

I start to add things up and think they are somehow related. and I think I support that with evidence that there are in fact synchronicity. So that when I'm high and 2 things suggest death, I start BELIEVING it because I know synchronicity does happen and has in some cases have foretold the future. So I may think I'm dying because I'm scrolling through the tv guide and I see 3 movies on that all have to do with death or something similar....and it's almost like you can find something related without even trying. like no matter where you turn it's gonna happen...the part that is almost too weird to be just paranoia is that when you're in that intensive mindstate...things really do start to happen that support all of the other things in synch. Like if I were to turn it to a channel that didn't have to do with death. 9 out of 10 times a commercial or someone on the show or whatever will say something that relates to what Im thinking. and a lot of the times it's not even reaching. I think the intensity of that mind state contains a lot of power, and that power feeds itself by manifesting things similar. its like a hyper active awareness that is so real and powerful. I could take a gravity bong right now and be there in less than 5 minutes




It's not schizophrenia if you only experience it on drugs. Granted your reactions COULD indicate something but i'll sometimes joke that i'm "gonna smoke myself schizophrenic tonight" because of exactly what you described. Weed is fucking trippy. I go through so many fucking dumb thoughts when i'm high.


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OfflineKonyap

Registered: 06/30/07
Posts: 33,945
Loc: Planet Piss
Last seen: 4 years, 3 months
Re: Ever had a bout of schizophrenia? [Re: JacksonMetaller]
    #19246835 - 12/08/13 07:42 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

its a sign of depression actually


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Invisiblemutantmushroom
The Mutant
Male


Registered: 10/01/13
Posts: 416
Loc: Daytona
Re: Ever had a bout of schizophrenia? *DELETED* [Re: Konyap]
    #19246947 - 12/08/13 08:04 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Post deleted by mutantmushroom

Reason for deletion: ds



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When you put the best effort you can into something, you’re bound to get something good out of it



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OfflineKonyap

Registered: 06/30/07
Posts: 33,945
Loc: Planet Piss
Last seen: 4 years, 3 months
Re: Ever had a bout of schizophrenia? [Re: mutantmushroom]
    #19246975 - 12/08/13 08:11 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

dont shrug it off

it's your body telling you something


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Offlineberdinwall
<3 whooooshhh


Registered: 06/10/12
Posts: 4,276
Loc: West Virginia
Last seen: 2 years, 3 months
Re: Ever had a bout of schizophrenia? [Re: Konyap]
    #19253527 - 12/10/13 01:00 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Use it. The power is at your fingertipsss


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Offlinehealing
Strangest
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Registered: 02/22/11
Posts: 6,565
Loc: the universe, the milky w...
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Re: Ever had a bout of schizophrenia? [Re: mutantmushroom]
    #19253539 - 12/10/13 01:02 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

mutantmushroom said:
Sometimes I feel like I have esp. For example I was working at the movie theater the other day and just felt that it was going to be a crazy day. It ended up being the busiest day that our theater has ever had, line out the door, phone off the hook crazy. I'm able to keep anxiety in situations like this at bay though just because of my ability to do mind over matter. I will pretend that the theater isn't busy at all and I'm just serving 1 customer and then everything will run smoothly. Another weird thing that happens at the theater i work at is sometimes people throughout the day will make very similar discussions. Like somedays everybody will tell me they don't want butter. Its just weird how things work sometimes I guess but i usually don't let these things effect me negatively and just shrug it off.




It's like being at the top of the Sears Tower. You are going to hear the exact same conversation over and over at your theatre because it's a theater. They're talking about popcorn because theres a bunch of popcorn like thirty feet away.

"Wow, this building is tall."


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Open mind, open heart, open book.



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OfflineRhizohunter
myco-nerd
Male


Registered: 04/22/11
Posts: 7,894
Last seen: 5 years, 4 months
Re: Ever had a bout of schizophrenia? [Re: Cynosure]
    #19253944 - 12/10/13 05:06 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

I also had thought I was famous and on a television show. At one point I was sitting in my cell and predicting where people were from my high school and answering their questions. Seeing as I was god and all, they had to see me prove it. This was the most beautiful and insane moment in my psychosis. These thoughts were being televised everywhere around the world and the only way I was gonna get out of jail is if everyone turned off their Television.

I thought I was going to be trapped in that cell forever cause the questions kept coming and no one was letting me out.:thumbdown:


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InvisibleThayendanegea
quiet walker
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Registered: 02/20/12
Posts: 7,596
Loc: 7 Lodges Nation Flag
Re: Ever had a bout of schizophrenia? [Re: Rhizohunter]
    #19255791 - 12/10/13 02:56 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Dude, you just need to get off of all rec drugs NOW...as Wiccan said..... this is a drug induced psychosis ...I mean, listen to yourself. Your brain needs to reset.:scrambled::sunny::peace:M


--------------------
Look Deep Into Nature,and Then You Will Understand Everything Better.

Albert Einstein


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OfflineRhizohunter
myco-nerd
Male


Registered: 04/22/11
Posts: 7,894
Last seen: 5 years, 4 months
Re: Ever had a bout of schizophrenia? [Re: Thayendanegea]
    #19256343 - 12/10/13 04:54 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

baltimark said:
Dude, you just need to get off of all rec drugs NOW...as Wiccan said..... this is a drug induced psychosis ...I mean, listen to yourself. Your brain needs to reset.:scrambled::sunny::peace:M





I haven't used any drugs in 4 months and don't plan on using anytime soon. My brain is still in recovery from that episode.

That experience was enough to scare me straight for a while. Definitely need to never do anymore cocaine, that drug can get super crazy, fast.


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Offlinedrkkenny
Explorer

Registered: 10/13/11
Posts: 1,440
Loc: Down a well
Last seen: 5 years, 9 months
Re: Ever had a bout of schizophrenia? [Re: berdinwall]
    #19256429 - 12/10/13 05:14 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

You mean you can see things happen before they happen? That you can see something in a vision? You visualize some sort of abstraction in your mind & form a conclusion that the validity of the universe transcends from your conception of it? You believe that you may conceive the universal structure of the world by a prediction which you may or may not have guessed? You may have predicted something else, something you didn't before. You might receive a message from a man in California & think it was first sent from a man in Brazil. You live with the idea that you are coming into the future before it happens. You have met aa future occasion before the event occured. You are inside and you aren't leaving. You are going back to the cabin where you spent 2 years divorced from your first child who jumped into your arms 3 years ago when you two split apart before you got on your train.. You can vividly recall the event where you took the boy into your arms & raised him 10 feet into the air, you lifted him above your shoulders & allowed him to get a better look of everything. Then you placed the boy back on his feet & set him on his way back to Russia. You go to Russia soon. You see me go with you.  We go back to Canada after. You want to see us return back to the nursery so we can receive our care from the behavior counselors? They will watch us so we don't get away. They notice everything you do, and their eyes are always seeking to give one the impression that they are a trifle inclined to paying extra attention to certain patients. We like to keep an eye on some people. We need to know what htey are going to do next. We need to know all of what they do. We have an intense desire to discover everything about them. We ask the inmates to share the gushy news with you.


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No More Stories Are Told Today, I'm Sorry They Washed Away // No More Stories, The World Is Grey, I'm Tired, Let's Wash Away.


God 2 read 10932148 Unread messages


Edited by drkkenny (12/10/13 05:15 PM)


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OfflineJPDancer
Stranger

Registered: 07/03/13
Posts: 424
Last seen: 6 years, 8 months
Re: Ever had a bout of schizophrenia? [Re: drkkenny]
    #19256849 - 12/10/13 06:32 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

I've had plenty of Psychotic episodes.

Backstory: Started psychs senior year in highschool, was a piece of shit, lie cheat steal all for me none for all! Had decent trips but there were always "weird parts" that I just blew off and focused on fun stuff cause that's all I wanted. The weird parts were serious self examination and I slowly became depressed because I never made changes but kept tripping, assuming oh well maybe next time will be just exactly perfect:goodluckwiththat2:

So then at my first festival I took more acid then I've ever taken and it basically bent me over and gave it to me hard and showed me how shitty I was even though I STILL wasn't ready to except it so it was particularly traumatizing.

Psychotic Episodes:

1. Facebook. I stopped using facebook soon after that event. Every negative comment from jaded people about the world or their friends or whatever, from ANYBODY, not even people I was close with or even really knew, was about me. All specifically targeted barbs about how I used to be a piece of shit and was getting what I deserved.

Yeah so I always though people knew this mental distress I was in even though they had no real connections to me or any of the few people who knew of my fucked up state that I had reached out to.

2. THE TRASH. One time I went over my buddy Steve's house. His Mom and Dad had always been amazing respectable people. real role model's. The one day I went to meet steve to go to somebody's gratduation party, and his Dad was setting off just as I got there to go pick up trash along the side of the road they lived on. When I had been in High School I used to throw trash out my window all the time. So the fact that he was going out to do that awesome deed right at that time was just like.... He was doing it specifically in my face like haha your a piece of shit haha. When in actuallity he was just being the awesome person he was.

Other stuff would be like the girl at work burning toast on breakfast shift to make fun of me for forgetting stuff some time. After the fact It's easy to see that obviously she's not gonna fuck over her tip and her customers just to make fun of me( and she wouldn't make fun of me anyway sweetest girl ever, probably too nice for hew own good).

3. The lesbian. So this is a long time out of my constant daily terror phase but shit still resurfaces occasionally. I had been working at Walmart for a while and there is this chick who is very pretty, yet is super shy and a loner. Like I see her walk in and she never smiles at anybody and goes right to her job no chitchat. Breaks she takes in her car no palling around with employees. usually goes home for lunch as well. So the one day she did stay at work for a break and I broke the ice with something like "so do you ever smile when your NOT at walmart?" and she responded amiably enough and we chatted and then I would always say hi in passing for a week before one day I'm like "hey so do you maybe wana hang out sometime?" And she gave a maybe with a smile so I'm like I'm in, give me your number as your leaving tonight.

So I'm all happy the rest of the shift and then were getting off at the same time so I go to clock out 10 min early, so I can be outside by the door to get her number. As I'm walking back up from the timeclock two other female associates walk past me smiling and holding hands and one say's don't judge us! by now the nerves are setting in to secure the number but I didn't think nothing of that til I went and sat outside. Though I was mostly over the paranoia phase I was still pretty socially anxious so I wanted to talk to this girl alone, especially being that she seems a loner as well. As soon  as I sit down this dude coming in for night shift comes and asks me if I'm done. I said yeah, so he ask's me why I'm not leaving. I said just smoking or w/e but I "realize" that he know's who I'm waiting for, which makes me "realize" she told everybody I had asked her to chill, which was some big funny joke because the reason she doesn't chill with anybody there is because she is a lesbian and everybody knows but me, and that's why the chicks were holding hands to make fun of me trying to get with a lesbian.
She wasn't. But yeah. that's psychosis.


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Offlinecircastes
Big Questions Small Head
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Registered: 01/14/10
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Re: Ever had a bout of schizophrenia? [Re: JPDancer]
    #19257107 - 12/10/13 07:11 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

If you're having psychotic symptoms on drugs and you think you go back to baseline after, you may be wrong, as it is hard to tell with schizophrenia. It sticks around, for me, as confusion, impossibility to think conceptually, lack of drive and a failure to apprehend life as sensical. You sort of just go around doing random shit not really realising how pointless it is, thinking you're living.

Try to think back to your teenage years and how things were. Seems it's easy to think you're well with schizophrenia which is why a lot of sick people refuse treatment. If you can focus on your memories you might find you've really lost it compared to the past...

Don't do drugs if you've got psychotic symptoms on anything... it's not so much the possibility of a total regression into your own psyche, as the pointless, mindless existence you will end up in with even mild schizophrenia due to negative symptoms.

New hobby for you.


--------------------
My solitude...
My shield...
My armour...

TESTED
WITH
FULL
FORCE


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OfflineThe Self
No Thing

Registered: 11/20/12
Posts: 145
Loc: Between Space and Time
Last seen: 1 year, 5 months
Re: Ever had a bout of schizophrenia? [Re: JacksonMetaller]
    #19257321 - 12/10/13 07:48 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

JacksonMetaller said:
Quote:

healing said:
The human mind is a pattern that acts as a pattern finding machine. Schizophrenic people have pattern finders that are too sensitive. We see patterns where none exist.




But patterns exist everywhere



Isn't it the lack of a pattern that tends to create the said patterns?


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Dualistic tendency is my enemy
                              and is definitely all wrong


                                                        nothing is one thing that someone rarely sees despite the fact that it frees...


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InvisibleDakotaap0
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Registered: 10/05/12
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Re: Ever had a bout of schizophrenia? [Re: The Self]
    #19257524 - 12/10/13 08:42 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Yes, after a three day MPVD and JWH binge. Shit was no bueno


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"We


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OfflineKonyap

Registered: 06/30/07
Posts: 33,945
Loc: Planet Piss
Last seen: 4 years, 3 months
Re: Ever had a bout of schizophrenia? [Re: Dakotaap0]
    #19258732 - 12/11/13 04:42 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

At least schizophrenics don't have fucking kids when they're working at wal-greens


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Offlinedrkkenny
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Registered: 10/13/11
Posts: 1,440
Loc: Down a well
Last seen: 5 years, 9 months
Re: Ever had a bout of schizophrenia? [Re: circastes]
    #19259790 - 12/11/13 12:02 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Well I can assure you that as a doctor of modern medicine and acquiring a degree three years ago at Harvard that you are most incorrect to assume I'm to be classified as that. I do have many patients waiting outside my office & must attend to them. I also will remind others that they have patients waiting to be examined. We are admitting some patients earlier than others, many may have to wait a little longer before gaining the entrance. We would block them before they can enter we assure you.

We can see to it that we get you in the room & discuss whatever need be talked of. We may sit around & all speak on this occasion, we all will insert some word of observation & go about. I'm going to be taking a plane to Cuba tomorrow morning & will be out of the office for atleast a week, but I assure you that I won't hesitate to get back to you & answer whatever questions you may have about this whole ordeal.

I'm afraid that my cousin just was shipped off to Africa about a week before this, we shall see him in a few days. He'll be back before you know it though. He seems remarkably attentive. I'm going to have to cancel some of my meetings with patients. I will have to hold them in a few days instead of just now. I may have to wait a little longer than I originally supposed. I'm sending over some documents about my being transferred from the hospital in London & to the one in Boston. I worked in a clinic for three years previous to this & have a proficient knowledge of administrating a cure to induce a tranquil state to the patients who are sick. For they might consult me before I travel to London & make plans to arrange to meeting a business man in broad daylight without anyone noticing us except for two people sitting on a bench nearby who happened to be looking over at us, but there were birds 10 ft away so the possibility of them placing their gaze on the birds opposed to us was also highly likely.


--------------------

No More Stories Are Told Today, I'm Sorry They Washed Away // No More Stories, The World Is Grey, I'm Tired, Let's Wash Away.


God 2 read 10932148 Unread messages


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InvisibleMoonshoe
Blue Mantis
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Registered: 05/28/04
Posts: 27,202
Loc: Iceland
Re: Ever had a bout of schizophrenia? [Re: drkkenny]
    #19259877 - 12/11/13 12:21 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

drkkenny said:
Well I can assure you that as a doctor of modern medicine and acquiring a degree three years ago at Harvard that you are most incorrect to assume I'm to be classified as that. I do have many patients waiting outside my office & must attend to them. I also will remind others that they have patients waiting to be examined. We are admitting some patients earlier than others, many may have to wait a little longer before gaining the entrance. We would block them before they can enter we assure you.

We can see to it that we get you in the room & discuss whatever need be talked of. We may sit around & all speak on this occasion, we all will insert some word of observation & go about. I'm going to be taking a plane to Cuba tomorrow morning & will be out of the office for atleast a week, but I assure you that I won't hesitate to get back to you & answer whatever questions you may have about this whole ordeal.

I'm afraid that my cousin just was shipped off to Africa about a week before this, we shall see him in a few days. He'll be back before you know it though. He seems remarkably attentive. I'm going to have to cancel some of my meetings with patients. I will have to hold them in a few days instead of just now. I may have to wait a little longer than I originally supposed. I'm sending over some documents about my being transferred from the hospital in London & to the one in Boston. I worked in a clinic for three years previous to this & have a proficient knowledge of administrating a cure to induce a tranquil state to the patients who are sick. For they might consult me before I travel to London & make plans to arrange to meeting a business man in broad daylight without anyone noticing us except for two people sitting on a bench nearby who happened to be looking over at us, but there were birds 10 ft away so the possibility of them placing their gaze on the birds opposed to us was also highly likely.




WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!


--------------------


Everything I post is fiction.


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