Note: The following story DID in fact change my life.. take note this all happened on the 4th of July after 2 hits of 2c-b, I believe, also I wrote this all out on paper to get a better understanding of it.. and I just wanted to see what people have to say about my experience with being adept to the unknown.
The idea of being able to identify one's self is truly a wonderful feat, prior to this lovely fourth of July I had no idea who I was, or what the meaning of life is, then, as I was taking a shit, I considered the option that I was asking the wrong question.. I should have been asking for the meaning of meaning (for all possibilities have impossibilities) We're living in a BAD generation, and I know my time on this planet is short, so I'm doing as I can to fulfill my story, nothing is unlockable, nothing is explainable, I'm living in an aliens dream, for all I know. (yes I totally contradicted myself on purpose)
So.. as the story goes.. I will never forget the day I tripped with one of my closest friends on the fourth of July, it changed me permanently. Me and this friend did these two hits, not even 30 minutes later my world changed dramatically, I WAS NOT on earth anymore (Seriously I was FUCKED) I got insane visualizations of crazy looking glowing streaks, EVERYWHERE my vision was what you'd see as water slides down glass nonstop, so we decided to walk to the gravel path down the street in my neighborhood, and went to the top of a huge hill of rocks and just laid down flat on our stomachs, as soon as I touched the rocks I became very sick and started throwing up (The taste of the 2c-b no doubt) So I called my friend, so we could match, he came and picked us up, and tooks us over to my homie since 3rd grades house.. Now this is where ego death becomes noticeable..
So, I get over there and I knew everything in the entire world that was happening at that very moment in time, this is going to sound weird, but I even knew what my closest friend was thinking, like I literally said what he was going to say before he said it.. It kinda scared me and him, but for a moment I was God in my own little fantasy..
And so the fun begins.. I had him take me home, I was scared to walk into my house to confront my mom, the time, setting, etc were just out of whack I guess, so I sat outside by my dad's truck out into the distance... oh god.. now imagine this.. I was sitting with my knees up in the air and my arms on my knees, and my head resting on my arms, and then boom.. my mouth had turned upside down (bottom jaw on top, top jaw on bottom) and I began losing ALL airflow to my lungs, I was FOR SURE going to die in my head, so I began thinking, my life flashed before me and I saw EVERYTHING, that particular friend since 3rd grade, well he became the devil in my head, and I began looking into it shortly after this trip, the dude is an arrogant bastard for real, a reluctant douche bag who'd snitch on his friends, he caused my ego death...
And this is where the story kind of ties in with the beginning, shortly after all of this dying like action, I began to analyze myself (ego death) Here's what I got out of it, I'm nothing... It took a minute to get the whole picture for me, but I did, I am NOTHING, every time I picture myself somewhere, it's no where.. A black void, putrid of anything, I've come to conclude I won't be on this earth much longer, I look at that conclusion, and laugh... Because I'm a figment of my imagination, without eyes to see me, what would I be?
|