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OfflineRhizohunter
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Ever had a bout of schizophrenia?
    #19239125 - 12/06/13 11:56 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

I'm still trying to understand how what happened to me was just psychosis. The delusions were more realistic than anything I have ever experienced in real life. If people weren't reading my mind than they were good at saying things very closely related to that that were on my mind. The television was very good at telling me things too...

Somehow I ended up at the first church of science, which teaches about Mary Baker Eddy, and she had some pretty crazy views of the spirit world. I felt a desire to go to this church and speak of me being god for whatever reason. When I went in this church they had very strange body language as if it was important I stayed. I stayed for a service and they read from the book of enoch, which is something that had been on my mind a lot.

I was on a spiritual mission and the numbers and letters would guide me to where I needed to go. It was as if my mind would only see numbers and letters in certain patterns.
I saw meaning to everything that was around me. Soon I started to ask questions and everywhere I looked I would find answers, but the answers were not what I expected. It was leading me on a scavenger hunt to finding the meaning to existence.

I can't even begin to describe all the delusions I had. It was as if everything was connected and there was going to be a giant finale, but the finale never came and I just got crazier and crazier.

Anyone else tripped themselves out to the point of creating an alternate universe?


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Offlineg00ru
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Re: Ever had a bout of schizophrenia? [Re: Rhizohunter]
    #19239230 - 12/07/13 12:37 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

so you were in a state of deep interconnectedness. its easy to make many connections in this state, and your emotions get involved, some of it is true and some of it isn't. just learn from it and go on your way :peace:


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OfflineRhizohunter
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Re: Ever had a bout of schizophrenia? [Re: g00ru]
    #19239248 - 12/07/13 12:44 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

interconnectedness sounds like a good word to describe it, shit just got really weird.

I'd like to describe some of the delusions, but I'm not even able to bring up some of the things because they don't make sense. Every delusion was related to another one, and it turned into one long clusterfuck of an alternate reality that I created in my mind.


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Invisibletito123
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Re: Ever had a bout of schizophrenia? [Re: g00ru] * 1
    #19239252 - 12/07/13 12:46 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

g00ru said:
so you were in a state of deep interconnectedness. its easy to make many connections in this state, and your emotions get involved, some of it is true and some of it isn't. just learn from it and go on your way :peace:




This sounds like hippie jive.

I talked to a homeless guy a while ago and he told me he left California to come to my state to teach about god and because god wanted him here.

He kept rambling about the colors of shirts people were wearing and how that related to the color of the cars an number of people in them an that god was trying to tell him something. He said he was sick if all the bullshit and that he didn't know what to do so he was gonna walk around in front of that coffee hop until go top him what to do.

Don't be that guy.


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Offlineg00ru
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Re: Ever had a bout of schizophrenia? [Re: tito123]
    #19239256 - 12/07/13 12:47 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

maybe i shouldn't have put the peace sign :rolleyes:


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OfflineOliverJames
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Re: Ever had a bout of schizophrenia? [Re: Rhizohunter]
    #19239257 - 12/07/13 12:48 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Yes I've most definitely experienced something like this. When I took 5g of shrooms, before my ego was completely shattered, I had developed this entire theory involving two people I know and Jim Carey, I doubt it was as elaborate as your experience, but in my mind, the theory was very legitimate and solid. I tried explaining it to my two friends with me, and I actually tried to leave the beach to prevent the theory from coming to fruition, but they wouldn't let me leave. But ya, mushrooms in particular give me such a mindfuck, if I don't stay centered, I start to completely lose all sanity


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OfflineKonyap

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Re: Ever had a bout of schizophrenia? [Re: OliverJames]
    #19239268 - 12/07/13 12:52 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

yeah but I wouldn't call them delusions

more like self fufilling prophecies and stuff


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OfflineRhizohunter
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Re: Ever had a bout of schizophrenia? [Re: Konyap]
    #19239281 - 12/07/13 12:58 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Illyabo said:
yeah but I wouldn't call them delusions

more like self fufilling prophecies and stuff





I was fulfilling prophecies alright. I had people calling me god and whatnot on top of it. There were a lot of people who were kind of losing their mind around me.

I suppose I tripped too many people out this summer. I was making connections that they would start seeing too. Things like this did not help with my mental process because it just made me believe it even more.

Me and my friend found the grave of Mary and Joseph and the 12 desciples and shit. In reality they were probably just grave stones of random people, but to us it was like finding the holy grail. Me and one friend especially went deep into another realm.

That's when I started doing the DXM and shit got scary.


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OfflineOliverJames
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Re: Ever had a bout of schizophrenia? [Re: Rhizohunter]
    #19239336 - 12/07/13 01:35 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Haha shit yea thats more intense than what I've experienced. What were you tripping on? DXM? I've yet to try DXM, I don't really plan to but there is a part of me thats interested. I've seen people take high doses of DXM and sit there with me in the room and literally not know I was there, like even if I moved in front of their view they wouldnt know. That sort of frightens me to be honest


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OfflineRhizohunter
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Re: Ever had a bout of schizophrenia? [Re: OliverJames]
    #19239347 - 12/07/13 01:48 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

I was growing large amount of mushrooms and had DMT on hand through most of it. The cocaine definitely played a part in the psychosis. I started counting baggies in my apartment after a month of use and it looks like I had spent around a grand in blow.

The doctors say that I triggered an underlying illness. The psychosis started to get pretty intense where I started covering mirrors with garbage bags and performing "magic" with cards. I thought I was a modern day wizard with my tarot cards. The mirrors were a gateway to the other realm and I didn't want the demons coming in. I had performed a ritual in a mirror with a potion I concocted out of 5 or 6 different drugs. I saw satan in that mirror that night after heavily hitting the DMT.

When I would hang out with friends they would play music and I thought they were playing the music to directly speak to me. Like they were playing the songs to communicate with me in my mind. A song would start talking about something and I would hear their voice in my head along with the music.

I believed that mushrooms were the fruit of knowledge they speak of in the bible, so I was eating more than I should have been. Even after I would take week long breaks off the psychedelics, craziness would still occur, which is why I wasn't thinking it was just the drugs. I believed there were other forces at work.


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Offlineberdinwall
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Re: Ever had a bout of schizophrenia? [Re: Rhizohunter]
    #19239354 - 12/07/13 01:58 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Sounds like you have somewhat of a strong christian background? Ive seen a couple of different people that were raised going to church every week had an odd impact later on especially when they decided to dabble in psychedelics or even just weed.

can you tell us about any particular events that were strangly in synch? and kind of added up?


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OfflineRhizohunter
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Re: Ever had a bout of schizophrenia? [Re: berdinwall]
    #19239364 - 12/07/13 02:07 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Yeah, my dad is a pastor, so I grew up as a pastors kid. My knowledge on religion is pretty vast and even though I hadn't studied it in a very long time I knew more than most about the stories.

Lets just say that I was able to relate everything in revelations in the bible to my life. Every word of the book had meaning to me because I was able to relate it to myself. My name being David didn't help, and I started to connect other people around me as being characters in the bible. I didn't see them as unique individuals anymore, but I saw them as characters in a modern day enactment. It was like I was reading the bible and the story was coming to life around me.

Everyone was spiritual beings and they did not realize who they truly were.

I was just the profit giving the answers that no one wanted to here. A lot of people saw me go off the deep end this year. No one is gonna hear the majority of it. I scared a lot of people with the end of times.:lol:


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Offlinelot_justice
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Re: Ever had a bout of schizophrenia? [Re: Rhizohunter] * 1
    #19239371 - 12/07/13 02:09 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

I'm not entirely sure you're doing yourself justice by referring to most of these things as "delusions" (unless this is a therapeutic tool for you by which to remain distant from lapsing back into things)

You should read the Don Juan books. It sounds like what you experienced was a random shift of your assemblage point. I'd argue that it wasn't so much that you were deluded, but that you were a vulnerable new individual experiencing the Spirit (when in such states, the high degree of synchronicity that suddenly manifests in the expierencer's life causes them to grasp at rational conclusions. When so much stuff is seemingly centered on you, all of sudden, and is contrary to most rationality in normal reality, it's common for the person to think that they may in fact be God or divine; you were just a confused child first perceiving a new world while still grasping on to the mainstay of our society: rational explanations) 

All of this being said, when the Spirit overtakes you and you can no longer be functionable in the normal world, that's a very sad situation. I'm glad that your post seems to insinuate that now you are back and working well :]


Edited by lot_justice (12/07/13 02:11 AM)


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Invisiblepirate-blues
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Re: Ever had a bout of schizophrenia? [Re: berdinwall]
    #19239374 - 12/07/13 02:16 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

I've taken too many stimulants and stayed up too many days and have had drug psychosis, triggered by anxiety, depression, and the environment I was in.


It was horrible. At one point I found out my neighbor and his friends were able to see into my bedroom via his fire-escape - and heard them narrating and video taping me changing one time(the first warm day of spring, that year, so idk if that was the first time or he had been watching me for a while) They did not realize I could hear them, as my windows were shut, and I had blinds - but I lived in an attic bedroom of a very old house that was poorly insulated with strangely shaped windows(hence, the blinds did not fit so well, and on at the right angle they could see me, and I could hear everyyyything). When it was happening I wasn't even sure if it was real or not, I was so damaged already. When I finally realized that it was real, I just turned off all the lights, and sat inside my closet and cried. It was kind of a breaking point due to other issues.

And I have hallucinated visuals due to too many stimulants and days awake in the past....I cannot imagine the pain of something like schizophrenia. But I can appreciate how awful it is to hear voices and wonder if they are real or inside your head and be horribly paranoid that everyone is trying to hurt you in some way due to my own poor judgement and mistakes.

It took a long time for the residual anxiety from those experiences to go away, and I advise anyone who feels their mental health is compromised(anxiety, depression, or in more severe cases, psychosis) to stop all drugs IMMEDIATELY and strongly re-evaluate how they're using drugs. And I wish everyone who is genuinely dealing with mental illness(as opposed to drug psychosis, like I had, multiple times) the best of luck, and would advise them to be strong.


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OfflineRhizohunter
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Re: Ever had a bout of schizophrenia? [Re: lot_justice]
    #19239378 - 12/07/13 02:20 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

You make more sense than doctors:lol:

I feel like I opened myself up to a higher form of conscious thought. I saw and viewed reality differently and took on the "god" persona. It was like my mind was wiped clean and I was starting new in a brand new world.

powerful stuff


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Offlinelot_justice
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Re: Ever had a bout of schizophrenia? [Re: Rhizohunter]
    #19239383 - 12/07/13 02:25 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

It is powerful stuff (I'm coming out of my nonfunctional period this summer). Once through the dark tunnel, the experience feels like a gift

Fortunately mine wasn't completely random. Some people purposely shifted my assemblage point and shit got really weird for a few months.

I've mellowed out, but I'm still very much a "shaman in training"; trying to strike the perfect balance of being a highly functionable being in everyday life, while still holding communion with spirits and experiencing all sorts of stuff that should make my brain break


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Offlineakira_akuma
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Re: Ever had a bout of schizophrenia? [Re: Rhizohunter]
    #19239384 - 12/07/13 02:25 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

NOT the way of the world though.


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OfflineIcyus
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Re: Ever had a bout of schizophrenia? [Re: lot_justice]
    #19239387 - 12/07/13 02:28 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Well.. no dellutions, as of now..the general population should be locked up before me, but I have had both flashbacks and hallusinations.. I think I have had independent hallutinations too.. without ingesting anything in perticuliar.. I have a kind of thing about seeing the faces of people I do no like at all as rotting sculls if I stare at them for too long, but not always..just once in a while.

I do not really know what possible gain this may have for me though, except becoming openminded enough to have a conversation with a corpse without being judgemental and all.. IT's like one really notices if the anger, or resentment may be misplaced.. that if one is more disturbed by them looking as a corpse than they're actions or very being they have really no bisneuss wasting love and energy, filling the void with hate towards this individual..

what are your interpretations?


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Offlineakira_akuma
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Re: Ever had a bout of schizophrenia? [Re: Icyus]
    #19239395 - 12/07/13 02:31 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)



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OfflineRhizohunter
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Re: Ever had a bout of schizophrenia? [Re: lot_justice]
    #19239401 - 12/07/13 02:33 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

My experience has definitely given me a broadened perspective on reality. The synchrocity was ridiculous for me. Everything would line up so fuckin beautifully.

I would think something and then something would happen. I forgot to mention that I was in jail for most of this. The voices would tell me when the food cart was coming and "bam" there it was. It doesn't make sense because I could have never known when it would be there and there it was.

It was like I was communicating with something out of this world. "hear comes the tray" I look over and "bam" it's poppin through my door.

I would also hear a voice in my head to say "look up" and someone would walk right by my door at that exact moment.


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OfflineIcyus
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Re: Ever had a bout of schizophrenia? [Re: akira_akuma]
    #19239404 - 12/07/13 02:35 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

akira_akuma said:
Cotard delusion

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cotard_delusion




You did read the post right?


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OfflineIcyus
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Re: Ever had a bout of schizophrenia? [Re: Rhizohunter]
    #19239409 - 12/07/13 02:37 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Rhizohunter said:
My experience has definitely given me a broadened perspective on reality. The synchrocity was ridiculous for me. Everything would line up so fuckin beautifully.

I would think something and then something would happen. I forgot to mention that I was in jail for most of this. The voices would tell me when the food cart was coming and "bam" there it was. It doesn't make sense because I could have never known when it would be there and there it was.

It was like I was communicating with something out of this world. "hear comes the tray" I look over and "bam" it's poppin through my door.

I would also hear a voice in my head to say "look up" and someone would walk right by my door at that exact moment.




communing with the spirits, I would say, but remember there arent just good spirits.. alot of them likes to fuck around with you.


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OfflineRhizohunter
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Re: Ever had a bout of schizophrenia? [Re: Icyus]
    #19239414 - 12/07/13 02:40 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

I found that out the hard way


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Offlineakira_akuma
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Re: Ever had a bout of schizophrenia? [Re: Icyus]
    #19239419 - 12/07/13 02:45 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Icyus said:
Quote:

akira_akuma said:
Cotard delusion

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cotard_delusion




You did read the post right?



yeah. i did. Cotard's delusion could also explain you seeing skulls and thinking you can communicate with the dead.

no need to get all uppity, sparky. you asked for opinions.


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OfflineIcyus
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Re: Ever had a bout of schizophrenia? [Re: Rhizohunter]
    #19239421 - 12/07/13 02:47 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Were I dead, I would be one of the "bad spirits"... I am not directly evil, and not at all hateful, but I like to be amused by fucking with people though.. But even though this.. It is worth knowing that I might do a lot of good too.. just a part of teaching that people should think for them selves even though they are very open-minded. As to not become manipulated an all..

-When you really pay attention, everything is your teacher-
-When you pay even more attention, teachers are not all knowing either-


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OfflineIcyus
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Re: Ever had a bout of schizophrenia? [Re: akira_akuma]
    #19239422 - 12/07/13 02:48 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

akira_akuma said:
Quote:

Icyus said:
Quote:

akira_akuma said:
Cotard delusion

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cotard_delusion




You did read the post right?



yeah. i did. Cotard's delusion could also explain you seeing skulls and thinking you can communicate with the dead.

no need to get all uppity, sparky. you asked for opinions.



read it again maybe?


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Offlineakira_akuma
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Re: Ever had a bout of schizophrenia? [Re: Icyus]
    #19239429 - 12/07/13 02:52 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

nah, i just told you an interpretation, which you asked for, and it's one that fits. Cotard Delusion could be what you're experiencing... if not, then Schizophrenia. if you don't like having answers, don't ask questions.

Quote:

Icyus said:
Were I dead, I would be one of the "bad spirits"... I am not directly evil, and not at all hateful, but I like to be amused by fucking with people though.. But even though this.. It is worth knowing that I might do a lot of good too.. just a part of teaching that people should think for them selves even though they are very open-minded. As to not become manipulated an all..

-When you really pay attention, everything is your teacher-
-When you pay even more attention, teachers are not all knowing either-



you think all spirits are evil? some are playful, some deceitful to the point of deceiving themselves into thinking their not evil...


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Offlineakira_akuma
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Re: Ever had a bout of schizophrenia? [Re: Rhizohunter]
    #19239431 - 12/07/13 02:54 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

that's just your brain realizing things from sound, or pattern or just simply ideas, that happen to coincide with reality. it doesn't mean your consciousness is flowing 'better' or that you're 'tapping into the universe'; it just means there are some wires crossed up there.

doing alot of DXM over time, could cause these effects of 'your brain' "seemingly" talking to you, giving you proclamations about things that are happening around you.

you ever heard of time dilation, Rhiz? you might not notice it, but it happens, and that could be why you're thinking that you're able to predict when something is going to happen.

you just match one thing with another, in your head, and bam, you've got a coincidence... but with the time dilation, you think that you saw it ahead of time.

:shrug:


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OfflineRhizohunter
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Re: Ever had a bout of schizophrenia? [Re: akira_akuma]
    #19239441 - 12/07/13 03:03 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Already thought of all the possibilities dude. The only logical thing I can think of is that I would hear a noise and a voice would pop in my head. Like noises would simulate words in my head before I would ever hear the noise. There are still a lot of things that the voices would say that would come true even without it just being a noise from someone else.

I don't want to say some of them because they are embarassing. It's like the voices were able to find my weakness and dig inside my brain. Never felt anything more painful than that. It was like being judged by god. I didn't masturbate for 3 months cause I was so traumatized.:blush:


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OfflineIcyus
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Re: Ever had a bout of schizophrenia? [Re: Rhizohunter]
    #19239445 - 12/07/13 03:06 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

You just got to be aware of everything you do, being if not a perfectionist atleast trying your best.
, and know that even though you may do a lot of bad and stupid things, you acknowledge this and move on.


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Offlineakira_akuma
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Re: Ever had a bout of schizophrenia? [Re: Rhizohunter] * 2
    #19239448 - 12/07/13 03:08 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

there is always a rational explanation for what's happening in the brain, but i can't tell you what it is...

just that it can be explained with going into the realm of "superstition". i'd watch out for that kind of thinking, unless... well, unless you think it suits you, i guess. i don't mean to be rude, i'm just saying... doing lots of drugs and believing lots of superstitious stuff, is a sure fire way to get those wires, i was talking about, crossed.

but some people think that it all works out better 'that way'. i ain't trying to change your mind bro, just making suggestions.


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OfflineRhizohunter
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Re: Ever had a bout of schizophrenia? [Re: akira_akuma]
    #19239462 - 12/07/13 03:16 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

I completely understand what you're saying dude. This experience has broadened my sight on what reality really is. Makes me see the world through another perspective is all. I was never spiritual before this, but now I see how others see that there could be a spiritual meaning to things.

Whether I am talking with spirits or have just completely lost my mind isn't what I dwell on. I see now that there is more to what could be considered the norm. I've always questioned this and that, now I have a better view on why people do have these questions.


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Offlineakira_akuma
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Re: Ever had a bout of schizophrenia? [Re: Rhizohunter]
    #19239472 - 12/07/13 03:22 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

that's NOT insane. i wouldn't ask you to dwell, i'm just trying to give some answers... but definitely don't dwell, that's the last thing you or anyone should do. the last thing you wanna do is stop. keep going, just don't go off the deep end; as so many do; if you're not ready for the consequences. be clear and conscious. :thumbup:


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OfflineKonyap

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Re: Ever had a bout of schizophrenia? [Re: akira_akuma]
    #19239475 - 12/07/13 03:23 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

akira_akuma said:
stigma is pretty hurt bud




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Offlineakira_akuma
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Re: Ever had a bout of schizophrenia? [Re: Konyap]
    #19239478 - 12/07/13 03:24 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

when in the fork did i say that? :lol:


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OfflineConstantine
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Re: Ever had a bout of schizophrenia? [Re: akira_akuma]
    #19239485 - 12/07/13 03:31 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

akira_akuma said:
that's just your brain realizing things from sound, or pattern or just simply ideas, that happen to coincide with reality. it doesn't mean your consciousness is flowing 'better' or that you're 'tapping into the universe'; it just means there are some wires crossed up there.





Couldn't have said it better myself :thumbup:


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OfflineDirtyTomFlint
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Re: Ever had a bout of schizophrenia? [Re: tito123]
    #19239503 - 12/07/13 03:50 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

tito123 said:
I talked to a homeless guy a while ago and he told me he left California to come to my state to teach about god and because god wanted him here.

He kept rambling about the colors of shirts people were wearing and how that related to the color of the cars an number of people in them an that god was trying to tell him something. He said he was sick if all the bullshit and that he didn't know what to do so he was gonna walk around in front of that coffee hop until go top him what to do.

Don't be that guy.




HAHAHAHAHHAHA


--------------------




Know Your Body, Know Your Mind, Know Your Substance, Know Your Source


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Offlinehealing
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Re: Ever had a bout of schizophrenia? [Re: DirtyTomFlint]
    #19239507 - 12/07/13 03:53 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

The human mind is a pattern that acts as a pattern finding machine. Schizophrenic people have pattern finders that are too sensitive. We see patterns where none exist.


--------------------
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Invisiblelessismore
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Re: Ever had a bout of schizophrenia? [Re: healing]
    #19239527 - 12/07/13 04:17 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

it seems like you seek knowledge about the future, with tarot and all

why not just accept the present?

try concentrating your awareness on the present moment

a little synchronicity is pretty normal after lsd for a while after, lessens with time
voices are not normal, if you keep hearing them see a doc...

dont look for anything, just observe, you got everything you need

you should probably stop all drugs for a long while....


Edited by lessismore (12/07/13 04:50 AM)


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InvisibleAsante
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Re: Ever had a bout of schizophrenia? [Re: Rhizohunter] * 2
    #19239547 - 12/07/13 04:42 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

I'm still trying to understand how what happened to me was just psychosis. The delusions were more realistic than anything I have ever experienced in real life.




Thats psychosis man.  It was even realer than reality to you because critical thinking had been abolished.

You can't really make sense out of it because it was insane, its best to just let it slide into the past.

Welcome back to consensus reality, sort of. You never fully return from psychosis, part of you will always have memories from when the sky was purple and the sea was yellow.

I strongly suggest you to cease all recreational drug consumption.


--------------------
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OfflineKonyap

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Re: Ever had a bout of schizophrenia? [Re: Asante]
    #19239550 - 12/07/13 04:47 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

If you really feel stuck just take a break for awhile then take a quick puff when you're drunk or something:feelsgoodman:


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Offlineakira_akuma
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Re: Ever had a bout of schizophrenia? [Re: Constantine]
    #19239581 - 12/07/13 05:26 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

healing said:
The human mind is a pattern that acts as a pattern finding machine. Schizophrenic people have pattern finders that are too sensitive. We see patterns where none exist.



that's what i was trying to say. :thumbup:

Quote:

Constantine said:
Quote:

akira_akuma said:
that's just your brain realizing things from sound, or pattern or just simply ideas, that happen to coincide with reality. it doesn't mean your consciousness is flowing 'better' or that you're 'tapping into the universe'; it just means there are some wires crossed up there.





Couldn't have said it better myself :thumbup:



thanks, dude. :awesome:

Quote:

Wiccan_Seeker said:

I strongly suggest you to cease all recreational drug consumption.



yeah, if you have such a strong reaction and can't "get it together" after a big trip...i'd recommend taking an extended break from drugs. it'll work out better, in the long run.


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OfflineIcyus
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Re: Ever had a bout of schizophrenia? [Re: akira_akuma]
    #19239589 - 12/07/13 05:31 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

"Our life is our dream. Schitzofrenia is basicly that your dream doesnt match my dream."


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Offlineakira_akuma
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Re: Ever had a bout of schizophrenia? [Re: Icyus]
    #19239594 - 12/07/13 05:35 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

if "our life is our dream" wouldn't that mean that all dreams are the same?


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Re: Ever had a bout of schizophrenia? [Re: tito123]
    #19239672 - 12/07/13 06:30 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

tito123 said:
so he was gonna walk around in front of that coffee hop until go top him what to do.




:lolwut:


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Offline28064212
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Re: Ever had a bout of schizophrenia? [Re: Synthe]
    #19241554 - 12/07/13 03:47 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

This thread was a good read.


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InvisibleRobo
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Re: Ever had a bout of schizophrenia? [Re: Rhizohunter]
    #19241574 - 12/07/13 03:52 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)


Some of you motherfuckers seriously don't need to be taking drugs, good lord. :lol:


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Re: Ever had a bout of schizophrenia? [Re: DirtyTomFlint]
    #19241652 - 12/07/13 04:13 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

DatIslandLife said:
Quote:

tito123 said:
I talked to a homeless guy a while ago and he told me he left California to come to my state to teach about god and because god wanted him here.

He kept rambling about the colors of shirts people were wearing and how that related to the color of the cars an number of people in them an that god was trying to tell him something. He said he was sick if all the bullshit and that he didn't know what to do so he was gonna walk around in front of that coffee hop until go top him what to do.

Don't be that guy.




HAHAHAHAHHAHA




hahahah

You guys witnessed my personal bout of schizophrenia



I was on my phone and didn't bother reading the spelling mistakes.

but the homeless guy said he was gonna walk around in front of that coffee shop all day until god told him what to do and where to go and something about how god was gonna find him a lady.  it was absolutely necessary to him that god was gonna find him a lady.  I went with him to find some cigarettes and he had a friendly conversation with the girl working there for a minute and then afterwards, told me "I guess God didn't want me to be with her."


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OfflineCodeLion
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Re: Ever had a bout of schizophrenia? [Re: tito123]
    #19241681 - 12/07/13 04:23 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

I didn't read the entire thread but I had a friend who had a similar experience to yours. It was caused by the death of his mother, he began to experience precognition and certain other effects similar to what you experienced.
The best scientific explanation I can come up with is that you actually didn't experience precognition, your brain simply inserts the memories there so that you feel as if you knew someone would be in the doorway before they were, for example.


Other than that, psychosis is a not well understood phenomenon but it sounds like you are improving.


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hmm...


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OfflineJacksonMetaller
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Re: Ever had a bout of schizophrenia? [Re: healing]
    #19241695 - 12/07/13 04:28 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

healing said:
The human mind is a pattern that acts as a pattern finding machine. Schizophrenic people have pattern finders that are too sensitive. We see patterns where none exist.




But patterns exist everywhere


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OfflineCodeLion
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Re: Ever had a bout of schizophrenia? [Re: JacksonMetaller]
    #19241710 - 12/07/13 04:33 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

This is not a pattern
77    8  31  70  45  61    4  83    3  68
  7  39  88  62  11  80  23  44  96  73
18  53  47  95  84  26  71  50  81  67
14  69  22  87  99  74  91  37  16  48
46    9  38  36    1  52  63  24  41  79
33  97  51  35  15  10  34  30  92  85
86  89  75  49  76  13  100  58  82    2
66  72  90  93  57  27  65  55  43  20
28  60  64  56  21  78  42  17  94  32
29  59  12  19  98    6  40  54  25    5
5    62    1  91  84  44  17  54  13  22
31    4  88    6  64  20  79  27  75  26
72  12  48  60  11  10  81  59  63  49
69  57  46  97  99  76  15  98  25  85
29  53    9  36  89  82  100  52  43    2
35  41  32  23  71    7    8  34  68  18
55  45  67  83  61  21  90  87  50  96
39  65  73  47  58  37  42  51  77  16
40  95  80  38    3  94  86  56  28  30
74  19  70  78  14  93  24  92  33  66

but a schizophrenic person might see it as a message from God.


--------------------
hmm...


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OfflineKonyap

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Re: Ever had a bout of schizophrenia? [Re: CodeLion]
    #19241756 - 12/07/13 04:50 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

hmmm


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Invisibleeveryman
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Re: Ever had a bout of schizophrenia? [Re: Robo]
    #19241779 - 12/07/13 04:57 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Robo Shaman said:

Some of you motherfuckers seriously don't need to be taking drugs, good lord. :lol:



Thats what i took away from this thread


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Offlineg00ru
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Re: Ever had a bout of schizophrenia? [Re: everyman]
    #19241823 - 12/07/13 05:13 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

its true i dont need to do drugs anymore to be in a high or even stoned state of mind...doesn't mean i can't do drugs tho ^^


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InvisibleMoonshoe
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Re: Ever had a bout of schizophrenia? [Re: Rhizohunter]
    #19241865 - 12/07/13 05:23 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Schizophrenia is a permanent condition so you don't really have a bout of it , you either have it or you don't. When you have a temporary period of madness that is called psychosis. Psychosis can be triggers by sleep deprivation, drugs, stress, injury or any number of other things.

I once had a marvellous period of psychosis with similar symptoms to what you describe in your OP.

It was the most Intense, wonderful, bizarre and traumatic thing ever. In so e ways of was the most magical Time
Of my life. I ended up being hospitalized for three weeks. I don't take medication for it and it has never happened again .


I had so many incredible experiences , visions, hallucinations, hearing voices, religious and spiritual epiphanies, mystic and ecstatic states , coincidences and synchronicity and even real paranormal powers and events.


I could and will write an essay or even a book on the whole experience.

The trigger was three days of MDMA and ketamine with sleep deprivation and a bunch of stress and a car accident and other things all going on at once.


It was incredible. So much to say but no time now.



In any case just relax, take it easy and don't worry! Get lots of rest and sleep. Avoid stress and don't over think things.

The funny thing is I won't a 20 000 dollar graduate scholarship while in the mental hospital.

:hug:


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Offlinehealing
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Re: Ever had a bout of schizophrenia? [Re: JacksonMetaller] * 1
    #19241869 - 12/07/13 05:27 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

JacksonMetaller said:
Quote:

healing said:
The human mind is a pattern that acts as a pattern finding machine. Schizophrenic people have pattern finders that are too sensitive. We see patterns where none exist.




But patterns exist everywhere




At least they seem to.

An example might help.

I turn on my computer, log in and open my browser. I have used a computer many times before and I know from experience that a browser is like a gateway to the internet. Since I also have experience with the internet, I know that it allows me to visit web pages that other people have created and read content on those web pages.

One of my favorite places on the internet is the shroomery. I go there every day. I know from experience that the shroomery is a website with a forum on which many people discuss drugs and other related topics.

All of these things that I know, I feel that I know for certain. This is because many people that I know IRL have vouched for the fact that the internet is a place where people can connect to other people.

The fact that so many people agree with me, however, is not enough to convince me today. Today I am psychotic and paranoid.

Since I am paranoid, I am hyper-skeptical. I take nothing at face value, and take every word literally. Since I am psychotic, I see similarities between the things that people are posting on the shroomery.

Today I see that two threads in the pub are related to the same issue, SR. I know that SR was recently busted. These two thoughts, though unrelated, seem to both be significant. This makes me suspicious.

I see that there is a pattern between the two threads. Normally I would realize that this is because the threads are about the same topic, but remember, I am paranoid. I believe that there is a pattern here, though a sane person would immediately discard that idea. They see that pattern and know that it is false.

So when my brain goes on a crazy tangent thinking that the FBI has taken over the shroomery, you would think me insane for recognizing a pattern that you briefly acknowledged then discarded.

My mind sees the pattern and refuses to discard it. My pattern finder is too sensitive, so it makes this non-pattern seem significant when it is not. Your pattern finder knows how to discern the difference a bit better than mine, so you don't get paranoid, but I'm wrapping my cellphone with aluminum foil and hiding in the bathtub.


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OfflineConstantine
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Re: Ever had a bout of schizophrenia? [Re: healing]
    #19242169 - 12/07/13 06:48 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

^ That was really interesting, thanks for posting it. I can only imagine how intense it must be..


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OfflineJacksonMetaller
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Re: Ever had a bout of schizophrenia? [Re: healing]
    #19242629 - 12/07/13 09:06 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

healing said:
Quote:

JacksonMetaller said:
Quote:

healing said:
The human mind is a pattern that acts as a pattern finding machine. Schizophrenic people have pattern finders that are too sensitive. We see patterns where none exist.




But patterns exist everywhere




At least they seem to.

An example might help.

I turn on my computer, log in and open my browser. I have used a computer many times before and I know from experience that a browser is like a gateway to the internet. Since I also have experience with the internet, I know that it allows me to visit web pages that other people have created and read content on those web pages.

One of my favorite places on the internet is the shroomery. I go there every day. I know from experience that the shroomery is a website with a forum on which many people discuss drugs and other related topics.

All of these things that I know, I feel that I know for certain. This is because many people that I know IRL have vouched for the fact that the internet is a place where people can connect to other people.

The fact that so many people agree with me, however, is not enough to convince me today. Today I am psychotic and paranoid.

Since I am paranoid, I am hyper-skeptical. I take nothing at face value, and take every word literally. Since I am psychotic, I see similarities between the things that people are posting on the shroomery.

Today I see that two threads in the pub are related to the same issue, SR. I know that SR was recently busted. These two thoughts, though unrelated, seem to both be significant. This makes me suspicious.

I see that there is a pattern between the two threads. Normally I would realize that this is because the threads are about the same topic, but remember, I am paranoid. I believe that there is a pattern here, though a sane person would immediately discard that idea. They see that pattern and know that it is false.

So when my brain goes on a crazy tangent thinking that the FBI has taken over the shroomery, you would think me insane for recognizing a pattern that you briefly acknowledged then discarded.

My mind sees the pattern and refuses to discard it. My pattern finder is too sensitive, so it makes this non-pattern seem significant when it is not. Your pattern finder knows how to discern the difference a bit better than mine, so you don't get paranoid, but I'm wrapping my cellphone with aluminum foil and hiding in the bathtub.




That sounds intense. How did you trigger it?


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Offlinehealing
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Re: Ever had a bout of schizophrenia? [Re: JacksonMetaller]
    #19242806 - 12/07/13 10:01 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

That was just an example.

Anything can trigger it. Literally any thing that occurs within the life of a schizophrenic person can trigger it, no matter how insignificant it can seem to a normal person.


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OfflineJacksonMetaller
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Re: Ever had a bout of schizophrenia? [Re: healing]
    #19243847 - 12/08/13 07:32 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

healing said:
That was just an example.

Anything can trigger it. Literally any thing that occurs within the life of a schizophrenic person can trigger it, no matter how insignificant it can seem to a normal person.




Oh I just meant in general. How did you initially trigger the schizophrenia? Did you trigger it through drugs, or did it just sort of come on it's own? I'm just curious


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Offlineberdinwall
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Re: Ever had a bout of schizophrenia? [Re: JacksonMetaller]
    #19245249 - 12/08/13 02:17 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

after reading this Im pretty sure Im schizophrenic. But only when I smoke weed.

I start to add things up and think they are somehow related. and I think I support that with evidence that there are in fact synchronicity. So that when I'm high and 2 things suggest death, I start BELIEVING it because I know synchronicity does happen and has in some cases have foretold the future. So I may think I'm dying because I'm scrolling through the tv guide and I see 3 movies on that all have to do with death or something similar....and it's almost like you can find something related without even trying. like no matter where you turn it's gonna happen...the part that is almost too weird to be just paranoia is that when you're in that intensive mindstate...things really do start to happen that support all of the other things in synch. Like if I were to turn it to a channel that didn't have to do with death. 9 out of 10 times a commercial or someone on the show or whatever will say something that relates to what Im thinking. and a lot of the times it's not even reaching. I think the intensity of that mind state contains a lot of power, and that power feeds itself by manifesting things similar. its like a hyper active awareness that is so real and powerful. I could take a gravity bong right now and be there in less than 5 minutes


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Offlineakira_akuma
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Re: Ever had a bout of schizophrenia? [Re: berdinwall]
    #19245276 - 12/08/13 02:22 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

crazy, not crazy; how can you tell? see all the connections people have made in this world, and we still can't stop believing in past mistakes; if we were sane, we'd have already abolished teaching, thinking, industry, politics, art, science, precipitation of gatherings and events; and would have just kept our opinions to ourselves.

right shroomery? can't be wrong. not even once. otherwise... it's time to memorialize some shit, so we can keep on keeping on; and having our presupposed opinions.

which is way more fun; even if we don't know wtf we're really doing.


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OfflineCynosure
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Re: Ever had a bout of schizophrenia? [Re: Rhizohunter]
    #19245329 - 12/08/13 02:35 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

After a couple years of Dextromethorphan abuse, I sunk into a pit of paranoid schizophrenia. 

It built up slowly during the last year of my abuse and effected my trips dramatically.. but toward the end of my abuse (and, ultimately, being the reason I stopped using) it was carrying over into my sober life.  I could not take a hit of weed during that last year without going into a psychotic state.. and it took me a good 6 months (of no substances at all) to get to the point where I was able to realize the delusions and rationalize my way around them.  It wasn't for 12 months after I quit that I was able to call myself "free", though I do still have paranoid thoughts and delusions to this day (they are just much easier for me to overcome).

To sum up what went down in the least amount of words possible: I constantly had the feeling of someone watching me; though, who was watching me and what their purpose was changed frequently.  One day I would feel that I was being filmed for a television show and that all my faults, lies, etc. were being broadcast to the world.. and another day I would feel as if there were cameras everywhere filming me (usually some form of government entity, but it also spanned into individuals having hidden cameras in their houses or recording my conversations from their cell phones or even my cell phone).  It often got so intense that I could feel that everyone was looking at me in public, holding negative conversations about me, and reading my mind.  I would literally go out of my way to avoid main roads and kept as many walking paths as I could in the woods--but, even then, they had caught onto this and were placing cameras in the trees.  I could not walk into a public place without my mind filling with swarming thoughts of each individual, how they were judging me, and what they were thinking/saying about me.  One of the funniest ones, looking back, was that my life was being filmed and I was famous--but, no one would reach out to me in the public sphere as they didn't want to ruin the authenticity of the show. :lol:  One of the not so funny delusions was my friends all plotting against me and trying to harm/poison me or setting me up for traps; the intricacy of these plans was so in depth and I could never escape them.

Essentially, it boiled down to me learning that a lot of this was the formation of my conscience (something I didn't really have prior to my abuse).  Most of the episodes led back to me acting in a way that I "knew" or "felt" was wrong.

There is a lot more to the story and a few times I was truly blanketed in these delusions and would panic and do some crazy, weird shit to get myself to safety.

All-in-all, I feel it was a positive thing for me to have experienced.  I learned a lot about myself--especially how the workings of my mind are wired.

It was a long, tiring year and I put a lot of effort into "healing" myself.  I never did see a therapist, though I probably should have (or still should :lol:).

An interesting point to add: I experienced a LOT of deja vu during this time.  Quite a few instances of it were of dreams that I had recorded and actually came to happen (which would explode my symptoms for a good week or two at a time).  Though, a lot of them I could not connect to having ever experienced.

A book called "Dyanmic Patterns" by Kelso really sets the tone to how I experienced and analyzed patterns I found in the world.


--------------------
"You can peel it [language] off the ceiling and make it dance in front of you" - McKenna

<3 .


Edited by Cynosure (12/08/13 02:43 PM)


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OfflineJacksonMetaller
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Re: Ever had a bout of schizophrenia? [Re: berdinwall]
    #19245514 - 12/08/13 03:17 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

berdinwall said:
after reading this Im pretty sure Im schizophrenic. But only when I smoke weed.

I start to add things up and think they are somehow related. and I think I support that with evidence that there are in fact synchronicity. So that when I'm high and 2 things suggest death, I start BELIEVING it because I know synchronicity does happen and has in some cases have foretold the future. So I may think I'm dying because I'm scrolling through the tv guide and I see 3 movies on that all have to do with death or something similar....and it's almost like you can find something related without even trying. like no matter where you turn it's gonna happen...the part that is almost too weird to be just paranoia is that when you're in that intensive mindstate...things really do start to happen that support all of the other things in synch. Like if I were to turn it to a channel that didn't have to do with death. 9 out of 10 times a commercial or someone on the show or whatever will say something that relates to what Im thinking. and a lot of the times it's not even reaching. I think the intensity of that mind state contains a lot of power, and that power feeds itself by manifesting things similar. its like a hyper active awareness that is so real and powerful. I could take a gravity bong right now and be there in less than 5 minutes




It's not schizophrenia if you only experience it on drugs. Granted your reactions COULD indicate something but i'll sometimes joke that i'm "gonna smoke myself schizophrenic tonight" because of exactly what you described. Weed is fucking trippy. I go through so many fucking dumb thoughts when i'm high.


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OfflineKonyap

Registered: 06/30/07
Posts: 33,945
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Re: Ever had a bout of schizophrenia? [Re: JacksonMetaller]
    #19246835 - 12/08/13 07:42 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

its a sign of depression actually


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Invisiblemutantmushroom
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Re: Ever had a bout of schizophrenia? *DELETED* [Re: Konyap]
    #19246947 - 12/08/13 08:04 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Post deleted by mutantmushroom

Reason for deletion: ds



--------------------
When you put the best effort you can into something, you’re bound to get something good out of it



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OfflineKonyap

Registered: 06/30/07
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Re: Ever had a bout of schizophrenia? [Re: mutantmushroom]
    #19246975 - 12/08/13 08:11 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

dont shrug it off

it's your body telling you something


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Offlineberdinwall
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Registered: 06/10/12
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Re: Ever had a bout of schizophrenia? [Re: Konyap]
    #19253527 - 12/10/13 01:00 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Use it. The power is at your fingertipsss


--------------------


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Offlinehealing
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Re: Ever had a bout of schizophrenia? [Re: mutantmushroom]
    #19253539 - 12/10/13 01:02 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

mutantmushroom said:
Sometimes I feel like I have esp. For example I was working at the movie theater the other day and just felt that it was going to be a crazy day. It ended up being the busiest day that our theater has ever had, line out the door, phone off the hook crazy. I'm able to keep anxiety in situations like this at bay though just because of my ability to do mind over matter. I will pretend that the theater isn't busy at all and I'm just serving 1 customer and then everything will run smoothly. Another weird thing that happens at the theater i work at is sometimes people throughout the day will make very similar discussions. Like somedays everybody will tell me they don't want butter. Its just weird how things work sometimes I guess but i usually don't let these things effect me negatively and just shrug it off.




It's like being at the top of the Sears Tower. You are going to hear the exact same conversation over and over at your theatre because it's a theater. They're talking about popcorn because theres a bunch of popcorn like thirty feet away.

"Wow, this building is tall."


--------------------
Open mind, open heart, open book.



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OfflineRhizohunter
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Re: Ever had a bout of schizophrenia? [Re: Cynosure]
    #19253944 - 12/10/13 05:06 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

I also had thought I was famous and on a television show. At one point I was sitting in my cell and predicting where people were from my high school and answering their questions. Seeing as I was god and all, they had to see me prove it. This was the most beautiful and insane moment in my psychosis. These thoughts were being televised everywhere around the world and the only way I was gonna get out of jail is if everyone turned off their Television.

I thought I was going to be trapped in that cell forever cause the questions kept coming and no one was letting me out.:thumbdown:


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InvisibleThayendanegea
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Re: Ever had a bout of schizophrenia? [Re: Rhizohunter]
    #19255791 - 12/10/13 02:56 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Dude, you just need to get off of all rec drugs NOW...as Wiccan said..... this is a drug induced psychosis ...I mean, listen to yourself. Your brain needs to reset.:scrambled::sunny::peace:M


--------------------
Look Deep Into Nature,and Then You Will Understand Everything Better.

Albert Einstein


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OfflineRhizohunter
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Re: Ever had a bout of schizophrenia? [Re: Thayendanegea]
    #19256343 - 12/10/13 04:54 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

baltimark said:
Dude, you just need to get off of all rec drugs NOW...as Wiccan said..... this is a drug induced psychosis ...I mean, listen to yourself. Your brain needs to reset.:scrambled::sunny::peace:M





I haven't used any drugs in 4 months and don't plan on using anytime soon. My brain is still in recovery from that episode.

That experience was enough to scare me straight for a while. Definitely need to never do anymore cocaine, that drug can get super crazy, fast.


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Offlinedrkkenny
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Re: Ever had a bout of schizophrenia? [Re: berdinwall]
    #19256429 - 12/10/13 05:14 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

You mean you can see things happen before they happen? That you can see something in a vision? You visualize some sort of abstraction in your mind & form a conclusion that the validity of the universe transcends from your conception of it? You believe that you may conceive the universal structure of the world by a prediction which you may or may not have guessed? You may have predicted something else, something you didn't before. You might receive a message from a man in California & think it was first sent from a man in Brazil. You live with the idea that you are coming into the future before it happens. You have met aa future occasion before the event occured. You are inside and you aren't leaving. You are going back to the cabin where you spent 2 years divorced from your first child who jumped into your arms 3 years ago when you two split apart before you got on your train.. You can vividly recall the event where you took the boy into your arms & raised him 10 feet into the air, you lifted him above your shoulders & allowed him to get a better look of everything. Then you placed the boy back on his feet & set him on his way back to Russia. You go to Russia soon. You see me go with you.  We go back to Canada after. You want to see us return back to the nursery so we can receive our care from the behavior counselors? They will watch us so we don't get away. They notice everything you do, and their eyes are always seeking to give one the impression that they are a trifle inclined to paying extra attention to certain patients. We like to keep an eye on some people. We need to know what htey are going to do next. We need to know all of what they do. We have an intense desire to discover everything about them. We ask the inmates to share the gushy news with you.


--------------------

No More Stories Are Told Today, I'm Sorry They Washed Away // No More Stories, The World Is Grey, I'm Tired, Let's Wash Away.


God 2 read 10932148 Unread messages


Edited by drkkenny (12/10/13 05:15 PM)


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OfflineJPDancer
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Re: Ever had a bout of schizophrenia? [Re: drkkenny]
    #19256849 - 12/10/13 06:32 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

I've had plenty of Psychotic episodes.

Backstory: Started psychs senior year in highschool, was a piece of shit, lie cheat steal all for me none for all! Had decent trips but there were always "weird parts" that I just blew off and focused on fun stuff cause that's all I wanted. The weird parts were serious self examination and I slowly became depressed because I never made changes but kept tripping, assuming oh well maybe next time will be just exactly perfect:goodluckwiththat2:

So then at my first festival I took more acid then I've ever taken and it basically bent me over and gave it to me hard and showed me how shitty I was even though I STILL wasn't ready to except it so it was particularly traumatizing.

Psychotic Episodes:

1. Facebook. I stopped using facebook soon after that event. Every negative comment from jaded people about the world or their friends or whatever, from ANYBODY, not even people I was close with or even really knew, was about me. All specifically targeted barbs about how I used to be a piece of shit and was getting what I deserved.

Yeah so I always though people knew this mental distress I was in even though they had no real connections to me or any of the few people who knew of my fucked up state that I had reached out to.

2. THE TRASH. One time I went over my buddy Steve's house. His Mom and Dad had always been amazing respectable people. real role model's. The one day I went to meet steve to go to somebody's gratduation party, and his Dad was setting off just as I got there to go pick up trash along the side of the road they lived on. When I had been in High School I used to throw trash out my window all the time. So the fact that he was going out to do that awesome deed right at that time was just like.... He was doing it specifically in my face like haha your a piece of shit haha. When in actuallity he was just being the awesome person he was.

Other stuff would be like the girl at work burning toast on breakfast shift to make fun of me for forgetting stuff some time. After the fact It's easy to see that obviously she's not gonna fuck over her tip and her customers just to make fun of me( and she wouldn't make fun of me anyway sweetest girl ever, probably too nice for hew own good).

3. The lesbian. So this is a long time out of my constant daily terror phase but shit still resurfaces occasionally. I had been working at Walmart for a while and there is this chick who is very pretty, yet is super shy and a loner. Like I see her walk in and she never smiles at anybody and goes right to her job no chitchat. Breaks she takes in her car no palling around with employees. usually goes home for lunch as well. So the one day she did stay at work for a break and I broke the ice with something like "so do you ever smile when your NOT at walmart?" and she responded amiably enough and we chatted and then I would always say hi in passing for a week before one day I'm like "hey so do you maybe wana hang out sometime?" And she gave a maybe with a smile so I'm like I'm in, give me your number as your leaving tonight.

So I'm all happy the rest of the shift and then were getting off at the same time so I go to clock out 10 min early, so I can be outside by the door to get her number. As I'm walking back up from the timeclock two other female associates walk past me smiling and holding hands and one say's don't judge us! by now the nerves are setting in to secure the number but I didn't think nothing of that til I went and sat outside. Though I was mostly over the paranoia phase I was still pretty socially anxious so I wanted to talk to this girl alone, especially being that she seems a loner as well. As soon  as I sit down this dude coming in for night shift comes and asks me if I'm done. I said yeah, so he ask's me why I'm not leaving. I said just smoking or w/e but I "realize" that he know's who I'm waiting for, which makes me "realize" she told everybody I had asked her to chill, which was some big funny joke because the reason she doesn't chill with anybody there is because she is a lesbian and everybody knows but me, and that's why the chicks were holding hands to make fun of me trying to get with a lesbian.
She wasn't. But yeah. that's psychosis.


--------------------


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Offlinecircastes
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Re: Ever had a bout of schizophrenia? [Re: JPDancer]
    #19257107 - 12/10/13 07:11 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

If you're having psychotic symptoms on drugs and you think you go back to baseline after, you may be wrong, as it is hard to tell with schizophrenia. It sticks around, for me, as confusion, impossibility to think conceptually, lack of drive and a failure to apprehend life as sensical. You sort of just go around doing random shit not really realising how pointless it is, thinking you're living.

Try to think back to your teenage years and how things were. Seems it's easy to think you're well with schizophrenia which is why a lot of sick people refuse treatment. If you can focus on your memories you might find you've really lost it compared to the past...

Don't do drugs if you've got psychotic symptoms on anything... it's not so much the possibility of a total regression into your own psyche, as the pointless, mindless existence you will end up in with even mild schizophrenia due to negative symptoms.

New hobby for you.


--------------------
My solitude...
My shield...
My armour...

TESTED
WITH
FULL
FORCE


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OfflineThe Self
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Re: Ever had a bout of schizophrenia? [Re: JacksonMetaller]
    #19257321 - 12/10/13 07:48 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

JacksonMetaller said:
Quote:

healing said:
The human mind is a pattern that acts as a pattern finding machine. Schizophrenic people have pattern finders that are too sensitive. We see patterns where none exist.




But patterns exist everywhere



Isn't it the lack of a pattern that tends to create the said patterns?


--------------------
Dualistic tendency is my enemy
                              and is definitely all wrong


                                                        nothing is one thing that someone rarely sees despite the fact that it frees...


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InvisibleDakotaap0
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Re: Ever had a bout of schizophrenia? [Re: The Self]
    #19257524 - 12/10/13 08:42 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Yes, after a three day MPVD and JWH binge. Shit was no bueno


--------------------
"We


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OfflineKonyap

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Re: Ever had a bout of schizophrenia? [Re: Dakotaap0]
    #19258732 - 12/11/13 04:42 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

At least schizophrenics don't have fucking kids when they're working at wal-greens


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Offlinedrkkenny
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Re: Ever had a bout of schizophrenia? [Re: circastes]
    #19259790 - 12/11/13 12:02 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Well I can assure you that as a doctor of modern medicine and acquiring a degree three years ago at Harvard that you are most incorrect to assume I'm to be classified as that. I do have many patients waiting outside my office & must attend to them. I also will remind others that they have patients waiting to be examined. We are admitting some patients earlier than others, many may have to wait a little longer before gaining the entrance. We would block them before they can enter we assure you.

We can see to it that we get you in the room & discuss whatever need be talked of. We may sit around & all speak on this occasion, we all will insert some word of observation & go about. I'm going to be taking a plane to Cuba tomorrow morning & will be out of the office for atleast a week, but I assure you that I won't hesitate to get back to you & answer whatever questions you may have about this whole ordeal.

I'm afraid that my cousin just was shipped off to Africa about a week before this, we shall see him in a few days. He'll be back before you know it though. He seems remarkably attentive. I'm going to have to cancel some of my meetings with patients. I will have to hold them in a few days instead of just now. I may have to wait a little longer than I originally supposed. I'm sending over some documents about my being transferred from the hospital in London & to the one in Boston. I worked in a clinic for three years previous to this & have a proficient knowledge of administrating a cure to induce a tranquil state to the patients who are sick. For they might consult me before I travel to London & make plans to arrange to meeting a business man in broad daylight without anyone noticing us except for two people sitting on a bench nearby who happened to be looking over at us, but there were birds 10 ft away so the possibility of them placing their gaze on the birds opposed to us was also highly likely.


--------------------

No More Stories Are Told Today, I'm Sorry They Washed Away // No More Stories, The World Is Grey, I'm Tired, Let's Wash Away.


God 2 read 10932148 Unread messages


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InvisibleMoonshoe
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Re: Ever had a bout of schizophrenia? [Re: drkkenny]
    #19259877 - 12/11/13 12:21 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

drkkenny said:
Well I can assure you that as a doctor of modern medicine and acquiring a degree three years ago at Harvard that you are most incorrect to assume I'm to be classified as that. I do have many patients waiting outside my office & must attend to them. I also will remind others that they have patients waiting to be examined. We are admitting some patients earlier than others, many may have to wait a little longer before gaining the entrance. We would block them before they can enter we assure you.

We can see to it that we get you in the room & discuss whatever need be talked of. We may sit around & all speak on this occasion, we all will insert some word of observation & go about. I'm going to be taking a plane to Cuba tomorrow morning & will be out of the office for atleast a week, but I assure you that I won't hesitate to get back to you & answer whatever questions you may have about this whole ordeal.

I'm afraid that my cousin just was shipped off to Africa about a week before this, we shall see him in a few days. He'll be back before you know it though. He seems remarkably attentive. I'm going to have to cancel some of my meetings with patients. I will have to hold them in a few days instead of just now. I may have to wait a little longer than I originally supposed. I'm sending over some documents about my being transferred from the hospital in London & to the one in Boston. I worked in a clinic for three years previous to this & have a proficient knowledge of administrating a cure to induce a tranquil state to the patients who are sick. For they might consult me before I travel to London & make plans to arrange to meeting a business man in broad daylight without anyone noticing us except for two people sitting on a bench nearby who happened to be looking over at us, but there were birds 10 ft away so the possibility of them placing their gaze on the birds opposed to us was also highly likely.




WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!


--------------------


Everything I post is fiction.


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OfflineImFukNCLUELESS
I SPIT ON PEOPLE
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Re: Ever had a bout of schizophrenia? [Re: Moonshoe]
    #19259890 - 12/11/13 12:24 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

No i havent but the man that lives inside my head says that he has


--------------------
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I prefer she didnt have a penis at all"-prisoner#1


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Invisibleindocult
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Re: Ever had a bout of schizophrenia? [Re: ImFukNCLUELESS]
    #19260844 - 12/11/13 03:26 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Drkenny, do you copy and paste?


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