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Aedium
The Explorationist



Registered: 08/14/12
Posts: 673
Loc: In the pines
Last seen: 3 years, 5 months
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Fake online dating profile thread 2
#19234138 - 12/05/13 09:48 PM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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Make up a troll/parody dating profile thing, heres mine
Hi are you of a charitable disposition? Do you go all gooey at the sight of a little puppy wandering up to you hoping you’ll be kind? Well I’m that puppy and I haven’t been laid for a long time so how about some sympathy sex? My friends would describe me as handsome and caring but I don’t have friends who are that good at lying so I’ll be straight with you and tell you that I’m older than I look and heavier than I seem. I have my dog’s teeth and my neighbour’s hair. I work part time painting dots on dice I do the 1,3 and 5’s and work three days a week. I have been out of the relationship game for a couple of years but now I’ve got parole I’m ready to get back in the groove.
So look me up ladies you know I’m worth it
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The blind man sits in silence, while the deaf man reads.
Edited by Aedium (12/05/13 10:02 PM)
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Space Elf



Registered: 07/29/10
Posts: 3,371
Last seen: 7 years, 3 months
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Re: Fake online dating profile thread [Re: Aedium]
#19234176 - 12/05/13 10:01 PM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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So do you have a fake online profile to lure in unsuspecting women? If so, have you ever seen the MTV show Catfish? It never works out, when it comes to 'fake profiles.' Just be yourself man. If your friends told you that you're attractive, they're probably not lying. On the other hand, if all you want is 'virtual' contact with women, then I can see why you'd have a fake profile. Believe me when I say this, there's someone out there for everyone, but you probably won't find her by pretending to be someone you're not. In fact, you'll just draw in the type that you DON'T want.
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Aedium
The Explorationist



Registered: 08/14/12
Posts: 673
Loc: In the pines
Last seen: 3 years, 5 months
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Re: Fake online dating profile thread [Re: Space Elf]
#19234180 - 12/05/13 10:02 PM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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noooo man lol this is like a make up one and post it sorta thing
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The blind man sits in silence, while the deaf man reads.
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Space Elf



Registered: 07/29/10
Posts: 3,371
Last seen: 7 years, 3 months
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Re: Fake online dating profile thread [Re: Aedium]
#19234193 - 12/05/13 10:05 PM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
aaronlolz said: noooo man lol this is like a make up one and post it sorta thing
Okay, that's what I thought, after re-reading the OP, but I was a little confused, haha. It makes more sense now, after your ninja edit.
Edited by Space Elf (12/05/13 10:16 PM)
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g00ru
lit pants tit licker



Registered: 08/09/07
Posts: 21,088
Loc: georgia, us
Last seen: 5 years, 1 month
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Re: Fake online dating profile thread [Re: Aedium]
#19234214 - 12/05/13 10:09 PM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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i'd try to write a fake one but it would just come off as real so no need
-------------------- check out my music! drowse in prison and your waking will be but loss
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dontknow
It's all in the reflex


Registered: 07/05/13
Posts: 3,889
Last seen: 7 years, 3 months
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Re: Fake online dating profile thread [Re: g00ru]
#19234220 - 12/05/13 10:11 PM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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i got catfished once. i felt like a dingus for sure
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The discerning heart seeks knowledge, but the mouth of a fool feeds on folly. -Proverbs 15:14
“Imagination is everything. It is the preview of Life’s coming attractions.” Albert Einstein
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Aedium
The Explorationist



Registered: 08/14/12
Posts: 673
Loc: In the pines
Last seen: 3 years, 5 months
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Re: Fake online dating profile thread [Re: Space Elf]
#19234257 - 12/05/13 10:18 PM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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yea i was pretty sneaky
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The blind man sits in silence, while the deaf man reads.
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g00ru
lit pants tit licker



Registered: 08/09/07
Posts: 21,088
Loc: georgia, us
Last seen: 5 years, 1 month
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Re: Fake online dating profile thread [Re: Aedium]
#19234265 - 12/05/13 10:21 PM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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i will say i do like long walks in the woods tho
-------------------- check out my music! drowse in prison and your waking will be but loss
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luvdemboomers
loner with a boner

Registered: 01/11/13
Posts: 5,054
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Re: Fake online dating profile thread [Re: Aedium] 1
#19234266 - 12/05/13 10:21 PM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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A couple years ago I put a lot of effort into creating what I thought would be a free trial for christianmingles.com When I finished creating my profile they wanted me to pay which fucking pissed me off. It was pretty epic.
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Aedium
The Explorationist



Registered: 08/14/12
Posts: 673
Loc: In the pines
Last seen: 3 years, 5 months
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Re: Fake online dating profile thread [Re: luvdemboomers] 1
#19234277 - 12/05/13 10:23 PM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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dude when stuff like that happens to me
i just play hacky sack and say fuck the internet
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The blind man sits in silence, while the deaf man reads.
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Ellis Dee
Archangel



Registered: 06/29/01
Posts: 13,104
Loc: Fire in the sky
Last seen: 4 years, 10 months
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Re: Fake online dating profile thread [Re: Aedium]
#19234289 - 12/05/13 10:25 PM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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If I made a real personal it would read like a troll profile. My hobbies are what my profile here says, booze, porn, and hallucogenic cacti, as well as a unhealthy obsession with fantasy novels. I am slightly too depraved for a christian mingle or eharmony but maybe match.com would take me.
-------------------- "If the foundations be destroyed, what can the righteous do."-King Solomon And there was war in heaven: Michael and his angels fought against the dragon; and the dragon fought and his angels,
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stimpson
a superhero buddha



Registered: 02/08/05
Posts: 1,331
Loc: ny
Last seen: 1 month, 5 days
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Re: Fake online dating profile thread [Re: luvdemboomers]
#19234332 - 12/05/13 10:37 PM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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hi i'm bill. my friends would describe me as an outward going, easy to get along with friend. i like to go out for a drink with the guys and stay in to watch movies. ordering a pizza is nice. my favorite food is chinese food and i hope yours is too.
i'm getting older and have a steady job, and am now looking for "the one". i hope you want to be with me and be my lady. i'm not into coffee but i'm hoping we can go out to eat asian food. i wouldn't mind going to the mall with you while you shop, but i respect an independent woman with a job.
i hope we can be comfortable with each other doing laundry and massaging each other during TOSH.0 (or some tv show with an asian girl in it). i'm not sure i want kids but i'm thinking of adopting a chinese daughter.
if you're interested call my phone and leave me a message. i will call you back within a couple of days.
-------------------- uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhmmmm... ... ... ok.
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Space Elf



Registered: 07/29/10
Posts: 3,371
Last seen: 7 years, 3 months
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Re: Fake online dating profile thread [Re: Aedium] 2
#19234335 - 12/05/13 10:37 PM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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I'll give it a go...
Quote:
Man seeking woman
Hello ladies. First off, I'm a kind, warm gentleman who appreciates the finer things in life. I would very much enjoy a woman with the same qualities... as my cat. She is a very nice kitty. She doesn't ask for much; just a bowl of milk, or a can of 'Whiskas' every now and then. I'm not very well-off, financially, so I need to find a romantic partner with needs equal or less than that of my cat. PM me if interested. 
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brokentv

Registered: 03/02/12
Posts: 2,417
Last seen: 6 years, 8 months
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Re: Fake online dating profile thread [Re: dontknow]
#19234344 - 12/05/13 10:41 PM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
dontknow said: i got catfished once. i felt like a dingus for sure
What the story? There is a slim chance I am currently getting cat fished but I think it's real.
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kr0nik0
Ole' Salty


Registered: 02/13/12
Posts: 17,756
Loc: Western Slope, CO
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Re: Fake online dating profile thread [Re: Space Elf]
#19234352 - 12/05/13 10:43 PM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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LoL. I kinda want to do this now. I'm gonna get a bit high and see if I can come up with anything funny enough to post. Which of those dating websites would let me post a profile for free?
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“[...]the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes “Awww!”
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Aedium
The Explorationist



Registered: 08/14/12
Posts: 673
Loc: In the pines
Last seen: 3 years, 5 months
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Re: Fake online dating profile thread [Re: kr0nik0]
#19234378 - 12/05/13 10:50 PM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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uhm no clue, google around
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The blind man sits in silence, while the deaf man reads.
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dontknow
It's all in the reflex


Registered: 07/05/13
Posts: 3,889
Last seen: 7 years, 3 months
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Re: Fake online dating profile thread [Re: brokentv]
#19234401 - 12/05/13 10:55 PM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
brokentv said:
Quote:
dontknow said: i got catfished once. i felt like a dingus for sure
What the story? There is a slim chance I am currently getting cat fished but I think it's real.
Very short version, we talked a lot text/phone calls before I finally drove an embarrassingly long time go see her. We met on a video chat so I figured I knew what she looked like + she sent me pics and she seemed cute.
Turns out those pics were extremely misleading, i felt like an asshole for letting looks ruin it for me, but there was 0 attraction so I had to just stop. I did suffer through the date though both the walking in the park and sitting on a log where she was basically begging me to kiss her and I couldn't do it. And then even a movie afterwards.
I don't know if it actually counts as being catfished, but she looked nothing like I thought.
Why do you think you may be getting catfished? Where did you meet her? Talk to her on Skype before you meet and ask to dance around or something so you know it's her. Also, don't get emotionally attached before actually meeting up with her a few times. IME, the internet is not a good place to find a woman you'd like to have a serious relationship with, but it does work for people. I'm gonna stick to real world girls from now on
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The discerning heart seeks knowledge, but the mouth of a fool feeds on folly. -Proverbs 15:14
“Imagination is everything. It is the preview of Life’s coming attractions.” Albert Einstein
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Ellis Dee
Archangel



Registered: 06/29/01
Posts: 13,104
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Re: Fake online dating profile thread [Re: dontknow] 1
#19234414 - 12/05/13 10:59 PM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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>>>Turns out those pics were extremely misleading, i felt like an asshole for letting looks ruin it for me, but there was 0 attraction so I had to just stop.
I went on in internet date like that. The girl looked like she ate the girl in her pictures. I still bought her dinner and was nice because I didn't want to hurt her feelings. She was a nice women, just needs to keep those pics current.
-------------------- "If the foundations be destroyed, what can the righteous do."-King Solomon And there was war in heaven: Michael and his angels fought against the dragon; and the dragon fought and his angels,
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dontknow
It's all in the reflex


Registered: 07/05/13
Posts: 3,889
Last seen: 7 years, 3 months
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Re: Fake online dating profile thread [Re: Ellis Dee]
#19234422 - 12/05/13 11:01 PM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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Yeah man, I wanted to just run but I couldn't do that to her, especially after weeks of talking and getting to know each other. I did indeed feel like shit
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The discerning heart seeks knowledge, but the mouth of a fool feeds on folly. -Proverbs 15:14
“Imagination is everything. It is the preview of Life’s coming attractions.” Albert Einstein
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brokentv

Registered: 03/02/12
Posts: 2,417
Last seen: 6 years, 8 months
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Re: Fake online dating profile thread [Re: dontknow]
#19234467 - 12/05/13 11:15 PM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
dontknow said:
Quote:
brokentv said:
Quote:
dontknow said: i got catfished once. i felt like a dingus for sure
What the story? There is a slim chance I am currently getting cat fished but I think it's real.
Very short version, we talked a lot text/phone calls before I finally drove an embarrassingly long time go see her. We met on a video chat so I figured I knew what she looked like + she sent me pics and she seemed cute.
Turns out those pics were extremely misleading, i felt like an asshole for letting looks ruin it for me, but there was 0 attraction so I had to just stop. I did suffer through the date though both the walking in the park and sitting on a log where she was basically begging me to kiss her and I couldn't do it. And then even a movie afterwards.
I don't know if it actually counts as being catfished, but she looked nothing like I thought.
Why do you think you may be getting catfished? Where did you meet her? Talk to her on Skype before you meet and ask to dance around or something so you know it's her. Also, don't get emotionally attached before actually meeting up with her a few times. IME, the internet is not a good place to find a woman you'd like to have a serious relationship with, but it does work for people. I'm gonna stick to real world girls from now on
Ah ok. I pictured you getting trolled or something humiliating but at least it was the girl you talked to from online.
I've been talking to this girl I met online for weeks now, and we tried meeting a couple times but it just didn't work out, mostly because she got cold feet. The lame part is that I have developed an emotional attachment, otherwise I would have forgot about this girl long ago. I don't know I can just picture some dude or strange person who has just been toying with me this whole time.
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ChinChiller



Registered: 07/03/10
Posts: 3,270
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Re: Fake online dating profile thread [Re: brokentv]
#19234474 - 12/05/13 11:18 PM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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Isnt this the premise behind that dumb MTV show Catfish?
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Thulean

Registered: 10/04/13
Posts: 99
Loc: British Columbia
Last seen: 10 years, 1 month
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Re: Fake online dating profile thread [Re: brokentv]
#19234478 - 12/05/13 11:19 PM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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I used to go over to http://reddit.com/r/creepypms find and copy the best results. Then I made a script that automatically messaged them to women all day, and I'd just sit back and check the responses I'd be getting every few minutes. The reactions are so priceless, and I'd just get into really fruitful back and fourths all the time.
Very entertaining.
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Insidious
Stranger


Registered: 11/14/13
Posts: 43
Loc: Ontario
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Re: Fake online dating profile thread [Re: Thulean] 4
#19234559 - 12/05/13 11:43 PM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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I dunno, e-Harmony wouldn't accept my real profile...
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kr0nik0
Ole' Salty


Registered: 02/13/12
Posts: 17,756
Loc: Western Slope, CO
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Re: Fake online dating profile thread [Re: Insidious]
#19234592 - 12/05/13 11:56 PM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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I remember seeing that online a while back. Made me lol.
Nowadays I don't think I could get involved with a lady I met strictly online beforehand. I can't knock it tho. I lost my virginity to a random girl I met on Myspace. She ended up being really cute. Then again I had just turned 16. The past 12 years have not treated my memory so well.
I do have one nice dating site story tho. My ex's aunt that is now in her mid 40's met the love of her life on Match.com 4 years ago, and to this day they are one of the happiest couples I've ever met, as well as have a beautiful child together.
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“[...]the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes “Awww!”
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RiderOnTheStorm
Reject thug culture



Registered: 11/26/12
Posts: 1,855
Loc: Hug a hippie today
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Re: Fake online dating profile thread [Re: Aedium] 2
#19234805 - 12/06/13 01:20 AM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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About Me:
Ugh I hate these things, it always feels so braggy and self centered. Like how do you say without sounding arogant that literally everyone you know acknowledges that you're the best at everything you do and that you constantly score in the absolut highest percentile in everything you're graded or evaluated on? It's hard right? But just because that's the truth doesn't mean that I let it get to my head, so don't judge me.
Just to be honest I spend alot of my time thinking about other people. In fact the other day I saw an african american kid who's car had broked down on the side of the road, and later that day I thought yeah I probably should have helped him. Another time I was like man I should hold the door for that lady, but after I opened it I saw that she was wearing one of those shirts that has a baby in it like in total recall and just babies really freak me out they look like grub people so I had to close the door and walk to a different department to avoid her lol.
I went to school for communications and did really good at it as you can tell lol. Yes thats my car and no my dad didn't pay for it he took it out of my allowance so fuck off haterz. lol. So really I just like working out and stuff, I don't really care about work or anything but my dad is the boss so its cool. I need a girl who can cook my stir fry meals for me and who is hot and blond and less than a hundred pounds so I'll look biggger at the pool or beach.
My favorite movies, donnie darko yo that shit was deep bro, 300, batman but not that new shit the george cloony one, pretty much anything with ben afflack or matt damon. also the passion of the christ because im super spiritual and religious for jesus and NOT A DUMB ATHEIS WHO BELIVES WE CAME FROM MONKEYS.
My favorite music, i like green day and blink 182 (old school punk lol) and pretty much anything with good drops lol, skrillex comes to mind among many others.
My favorite books, lol i dont know too many
Most private thing I'll admit, alot of times i'm just thinking on this other level about inventions and other genius shit and I'll just like not be able to figure out whats going on around me, and this one time this guy was confusing me talking about toe zones or soemthing i didn't really understand and i couldn't think and it just really frustrating and this woman had a baby in a stroller and it was laughing and I know it was laughing at me so I punched it in the face and then the women started scremaing and it scared me so i ran and dad said it was ok it wasnt a real baby and she was a street walker. Its hard being on another level and having shitty people dry to drag you down. oh yeah and thats par tof why i dont like babies lol
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SaturnGreed
Stranger
Registered: 12/06/13
Posts: 1
Last seen: 10 years, 1 month
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Re: Fake online dating profile thread [Re: ChinChiller]
#19238431 - 12/06/13 08:57 PM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
Errolscool said: Isnt this the premise behind that dumb MTV show Catfish?
lol exactly. I have 2 dating profiles. one is my real one with my real picture and everything and another one is a troll one that tries to catfish people, mostly dudes. Its pretty funny the response i get. My favorite dating site to find women has got to be the one at http://www.freedatinghelper.com/reviews/christian-filipina/ and maybe one other.
Edited by SaturnGreed (12/11/13 08:16 PM)
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