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OfflineAedium
The Explorationist
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Registered: 08/14/12
Posts: 673
Loc: In the pines
Last seen: 3 years, 5 months
Fake online dating profile thread * 2
    #19234138 - 12/05/13 09:48 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Make up a troll/parody dating profile thing, heres mine

Hi are you of a charitable disposition? Do you go all gooey at the sight of a little puppy wandering up to you hoping you’ll be kind? Well I’m that puppy and I haven’t been laid for a long time so how about some sympathy sex? My friends would describe me as handsome and caring but I don’t have friends who are that good at lying so I’ll be straight with you and tell you that I’m older than I look and heavier than I seem. I have my dog’s teeth and my neighbour’s hair. I work part time painting dots on dice I do the 1,3 and 5’s and work three days a week. I have been out of the relationship game for a couple of years but now I’ve got parole I’m ready to get back in the groove.

So look me up ladies you know I’m worth it


--------------------


The blind man sits in silence, while the deaf man reads.


Edited by Aedium (12/05/13 10:02 PM)


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OfflineSpace Elf
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Registered: 07/29/10
Posts: 3,371
Last seen: 7 years, 3 months
Re: Fake online dating profile thread [Re: Aedium]
    #19234176 - 12/05/13 10:01 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

:confused2: So do you have a fake online profile to lure in unsuspecting women? If so, have you ever seen the MTV show Catfish? It never works out, when it comes to 'fake profiles.' Just be yourself man. :flowerchild: If your friends told you that you're attractive, they're probably not lying. On the other hand, if all you want is 'virtual' contact with women, then I can see why you'd have a fake profile. Believe me when I say this, there's someone out there for everyone, but you probably won't find her by pretending to be someone you're not. In fact, you'll just draw in the type that you DON'T want.


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OfflineAedium
The Explorationist
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Registered: 08/14/12
Posts: 673
Loc: In the pines
Last seen: 3 years, 5 months
Re: Fake online dating profile thread [Re: Space Elf]
    #19234180 - 12/05/13 10:02 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

noooo man lol this is like a make up one and post it sorta thing


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The blind man sits in silence, while the deaf man reads.


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OfflineSpace Elf
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Registered: 07/29/10
Posts: 3,371
Last seen: 7 years, 3 months
Re: Fake online dating profile thread [Re: Aedium]
    #19234193 - 12/05/13 10:05 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

aaronlolz said:
noooo man lol this is like a make up one and post it sorta thing




:lol: Okay, that's what I thought, after re-reading the OP, but I was a little confused, haha. It makes more sense now, after your :ninja: ninja edit.


Edited by Space Elf (12/05/13 10:16 PM)


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Offlineg00ru
lit pants tit licker
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Registered: 08/09/07
Posts: 21,088
Loc: georgia, us
Last seen: 5 years, 1 month
Re: Fake online dating profile thread [Re: Aedium]
    #19234214 - 12/05/13 10:09 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

i'd try to write a fake one but it would just come off as real so no need :grin:


--------------------
check out my music!
drowse in prison and your waking will be but loss


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Offlinedontknow
It's all in the reflex


Registered: 07/05/13
Posts: 3,889
Last seen: 7 years, 3 months
Re: Fake online dating profile thread [Re: g00ru]
    #19234220 - 12/05/13 10:11 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

i got catfished once. i felt like a dingus for sure


--------------------
:box:

The discerning heart seeks knowledge, but the mouth of a fool feeds on folly. -Proverbs 15:14

:tripping2: :shroomer:  :trippinballs: :shroomin:

“Imagination is everything. It is the preview of Life’s coming attractions.”
Albert Einstein


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OfflineAedium
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Registered: 08/14/12
Posts: 673
Loc: In the pines
Last seen: 3 years, 5 months
Re: Fake online dating profile thread [Re: Space Elf]
    #19234257 - 12/05/13 10:18 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

yea i was pretty sneaky  :ninjawe:


--------------------


The blind man sits in silence, while the deaf man reads.


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Offlineg00ru
lit pants tit licker
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Registered: 08/09/07
Posts: 21,088
Loc: georgia, us
Last seen: 5 years, 1 month
Re: Fake online dating profile thread [Re: Aedium]
    #19234265 - 12/05/13 10:21 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

i will say i do like long walks in the woods tho


--------------------
check out my music!
drowse in prison and your waking will be but loss


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Invisibleluvdemboomers
loner with a boner

Registered: 01/11/13
Posts: 5,054
Re: Fake online dating profile thread [Re: Aedium] * 1
    #19234266 - 12/05/13 10:21 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

A couple years ago I put a lot of effort into creating what I thought would be a free trial for christianmingles.com When I finished creating my profile they wanted me to pay which fucking pissed me off. It was pretty epic.


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OfflineAedium
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Registered: 08/14/12
Posts: 673
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Re: Fake online dating profile thread [Re: luvdemboomers] * 1
    #19234277 - 12/05/13 10:23 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

dude when stuff like that happens to me

i just play hacky sack and say fuck the internet


--------------------


The blind man sits in silence, while the deaf man reads.


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OfflineEllis Dee
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Registered: 06/29/01
Posts: 13,104
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Re: Fake online dating profile thread [Re: Aedium]
    #19234289 - 12/05/13 10:25 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

If I made a real personal it would read like a troll profile. My hobbies are what my profile here says, booze, porn, and hallucogenic cacti, as well as a unhealthy obsession with fantasy novels. I am slightly too depraved for a christian mingle or eharmony but maybe match.com would take me. :strokebeard:


--------------------
"If the foundations be destroyed, what can the righteous do."-King Solomon

And there was war in heaven: Michael and his angels fought against the dragon; and the dragon fought and his angels,


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Offlinestimpson
a superhero buddha
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Registered: 02/08/05
Posts: 1,331
Loc: ny
Last seen: 1 month, 5 days
Re: Fake online dating profile thread [Re: luvdemboomers]
    #19234332 - 12/05/13 10:37 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

hi i'm bill.  my friends would describe me as an outward going, easy to get along with friend.  i like to go out for a drink with the guys and stay in to watch movies.  ordering a pizza is nice.  my favorite food is chinese food and i hope yours is too.

i'm getting older and have a steady job, and am now looking for "the one".  i hope you want to be with me and be my lady.  i'm not into coffee but i'm hoping we can go out to eat asian food.  i wouldn't mind going to the mall with you while you shop, but i respect an independent woman with a job.

i hope we can be comfortable with each other doing laundry and massaging each other during TOSH.0 (or some tv show with an asian girl in it).  i'm not sure i want kids but i'm thinking of adopting a chinese daughter.

if you're interested call my phone and leave me a message.  i will call you back within a couple of days.


--------------------
uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhmmmm... ... ...


ok.


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OfflineSpace Elf
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Registered: 07/29/10
Posts: 3,371
Last seen: 7 years, 3 months
Re: Fake online dating profile thread [Re: Aedium] * 2
    #19234335 - 12/05/13 10:37 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

I'll give it a go...

Quote:

Man seeking woman

Hello ladies. First off, I'm a kind, warm gentleman who appreciates the finer things in life. I would very much enjoy a woman with the same qualities... as my cat. She is a very nice kitty. She doesn't ask for much; just a bowl of milk, or a can of 'Whiskas' every now and then. I'm not very well-off, financially, so I need to find a romantic partner with needs equal or less than that of my cat. PM me if interested. :smile:




:nicekitty:


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Offlinebrokentv
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Registered: 03/02/12
Posts: 2,417
Last seen: 6 years, 8 months
Re: Fake online dating profile thread [Re: dontknow]
    #19234344 - 12/05/13 10:41 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

dontknow said:
i got catfished once. i felt like a dingus for sure




What the story? There is a slim chance I am currently getting cat fished but I think it's real.


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Invisiblekr0nik0
Ole' Salty
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Registered: 02/13/12
Posts: 17,756
Loc: Western Slope, CO Flag
Re: Fake online dating profile thread [Re: Space Elf]
    #19234352 - 12/05/13 10:43 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

LoL. I kinda want to do this now. I'm gonna get a bit high and see if I can come up with anything funny enough to post. Which of those dating websites would let me post a profile for free?


--------------------

“[...]the only people for me are the mad ones,
the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk,
mad to be saved,
desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes “Awww!”



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OfflineAedium
The Explorationist
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Registered: 08/14/12
Posts: 673
Loc: In the pines
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Re: Fake online dating profile thread [Re: kr0nik0]
    #19234378 - 12/05/13 10:50 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

uhm no clue, google around


--------------------


The blind man sits in silence, while the deaf man reads.


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Offlinedontknow
It's all in the reflex


Registered: 07/05/13
Posts: 3,889
Last seen: 7 years, 3 months
Re: Fake online dating profile thread [Re: brokentv]
    #19234401 - 12/05/13 10:55 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

brokentv said:
Quote:

dontknow said:
i got catfished once. i felt like a dingus for sure




What the story? There is a slim chance I am currently getting cat fished but I think it's real.



Very short version, we talked a lot text/phone calls before I finally drove an embarrassingly long time go see her. We met on a video chat so I figured I knew what she looked like + she sent me pics and she seemed cute.

Turns out those pics were extremely misleading, i felt like an asshole for letting looks ruin it for me, but there was 0 attraction so I had to just stop. I did suffer through the date though both the walking in the park and sitting on a log where she was basically begging me to kiss her and I couldn't do it. And then even a movie afterwards.

I don't know if it actually counts as being catfished, but she looked nothing like I thought.



Why do you think you may be getting catfished? Where did you meet her? Talk to her on Skype before you meet and ask to dance around or something so you know it's her. Also, don't get emotionally attached before actually meeting up with her a few times. IME, the internet is not a good place to find a woman you'd like to have a serious relationship with, but it does work for people. I'm gonna stick to real world girls from now on


--------------------
:box:

The discerning heart seeks knowledge, but the mouth of a fool feeds on folly. -Proverbs 15:14

:tripping2: :shroomer:  :trippinballs: :shroomin:

“Imagination is everything. It is the preview of Life’s coming attractions.”
Albert Einstein


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OfflineEllis Dee
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Registered: 06/29/01
Posts: 13,104
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Re: Fake online dating profile thread [Re: dontknow] * 1
    #19234414 - 12/05/13 10:59 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

>>>Turns out those pics were extremely misleading, i felt like an asshole for letting looks ruin it for me, but there was 0 attraction so I had to just stop.


I went on in internet date like that. The girl looked like she ate the girl in her pictures. I still bought her dinner and was nice because I didn't want to hurt her feelings. She was a nice women, just needs to keep those pics current.


--------------------
"If the foundations be destroyed, what can the righteous do."-King Solomon

And there was war in heaven: Michael and his angels fought against the dragon; and the dragon fought and his angels,


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Offlinedontknow
It's all in the reflex


Registered: 07/05/13
Posts: 3,889
Last seen: 7 years, 3 months
Re: Fake online dating profile thread [Re: Ellis Dee]
    #19234422 - 12/05/13 11:01 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Yeah man, I wanted to just run but I couldn't do that to her, especially after weeks of talking and getting to know each other. I did indeed feel like shit


--------------------
:box:

The discerning heart seeks knowledge, but the mouth of a fool feeds on folly. -Proverbs 15:14

:tripping2: :shroomer:  :trippinballs: :shroomin:

“Imagination is everything. It is the preview of Life’s coming attractions.”
Albert Einstein


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Offlinebrokentv
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Registered: 03/02/12
Posts: 2,417
Last seen: 6 years, 8 months
Re: Fake online dating profile thread [Re: dontknow]
    #19234467 - 12/05/13 11:15 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

dontknow said:
Quote:

brokentv said:
Quote:

dontknow said:
i got catfished once. i felt like a dingus for sure




What the story? There is a slim chance I am currently getting cat fished but I think it's real.



Very short version, we talked a lot text/phone calls before I finally drove an embarrassingly long time go see her. We met on a video chat so I figured I knew what she looked like + she sent me pics and she seemed cute.

Turns out those pics were extremely misleading, i felt like an asshole for letting looks ruin it for me, but there was 0 attraction so I had to just stop. I did suffer through the date though both the walking in the park and sitting on a log where she was basically begging me to kiss her and I couldn't do it. And then even a movie afterwards.

I don't know if it actually counts as being catfished, but she looked nothing like I thought.



Why do you think you may be getting catfished? Where did you meet her? Talk to her on Skype before you meet and ask to dance around or something so you know it's her. Also, don't get emotionally attached before actually meeting up with her a few times. IME, the internet is not a good place to find a woman you'd like to have a serious relationship with, but it does work for people. I'm gonna stick to real world girls from now on




Ah ok. I pictured you getting trolled or something humiliating but at least it was the girl you talked to from online.

I've been talking to this girl I met online for weeks now, and we tried meeting a couple times but it just didn't work out, mostly because she got cold feet. The lame part is that I have developed an emotional attachment, otherwise I would have forgot about this girl long ago. I don't know I can just picture some dude or strange person who has just been toying with me this whole time.


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