I don't know how to begin, I'm still feeling the effects of the plant after around 12 hours of smoking it, and hoping it will completely go soon. Yesterday was a busy day, I left work around 7:30 pm and headed back home, hoping to have some weed to relax, I had smoked about 8 times before, the first three I felt no effect at all, the others were pretty enjoyable, I've taken shrooms twice, both were enlightening trips, so I expected to have some good time after a hard work day.
When I got home, I found out a stoner friend of us (my wife and I), was comming, all 3 of us have smoked once before and had a great time, she arrived around 8 and brought two pieces of weed in a napkin.
I grabbed the weed, gave it a sniff; my first thought was, this weed smells weak!, bad mistake, don't judge a book by its cover. We talked for a while, but my wife wanted to start smoking; my friend rolled one, she also added some kief from the grinder collector to it.
I have a vaporizer, but the first time I had some effects smoked on a pipe, and I really enjoyed that one time, so I decided I'd like to have some actual smoke, my friend lighted the blunt, and gave it to my wife, she took one hit, and passed it to me, I took two hits, retaining the smoke for like 10 seconds each, and passed it back to my wife, and so on, each time I took two or three hits retaining the smoke as long as I could.
After a while i began to feel the effects, first, a chilled feeling through my body, followed by some giggles, then when I was about to take another hit, my friend stopped me, I freaked out a little, because I thought, perhaps I've taken too much and she knows this weed is a big deal or something, but she said something else, I don't even remember what, but it kind of set a bad mood for me.
Shortly after this, I had a strange feeling, like I was on a very thin edge about to fall into the greatest experience, or straight into hell, like when you toss a coin, then it spins for a while on the floor, unfortunately for me I fell into hell.
I began feeling extremely self conscious, I noticed some anxiety, and I didn't want it to take a hold of me, so I tried to consciously relax, but it didn't work, I knew I looked bad, so I began worrying about making my wife and friend feel uncomfortable, but I couldn't help it.
I "noticed" I wasn't breathing, and freaked a bit because I thought I could stop breathing and I wouldn't notice, so I tried to control my breathing, but I think too much oxygen went into my head because I began to feel like I was on a roller coaster, with every breath I took, I felt a rush into my head, when I exhaled I felt like diving into darkness, my wife and friend started noticing it, I tried to calm them down, because I didn't want all of us to freak out, my friend adviced me to eat something to ease the effects, so I took a piece of chocolate stuffed bread, but my mouth was so dry I knew I couldn't swallow.
I grabbed a glass of natural tamarind flavored water, and mixed the bread and the water in my mouth so it was easier to swallow, I ate most of the bread, but I worried about the fact that I was eating bread with tamarind water, because it would look too strange, and would freak my wife and friend out.
My friend said I should go and watch TV or lay down for a while, but I was too scared I could stop breathing and they wouldn't notice, so I sat there by the table and continued to drink water and consciously breath.
Apparently I looked very bad, my wife told me today in the morning I looked really pissed, along with the heavy breathing, I guess it was a scary sight, although I didn't feel any anger at all, I knew I looked bad, I guess my friend started to feel uncomfortable, so she said she had to go, at that moment I thought, ok I guess that will help me relax, but at the same time I was nervous about being so stoned and alone with my wife, because I felt unsure about how much she had smoked and if she'd freak out like me.
So my friend left, I remember saying goodbye to her, tried to walk her to the street gate (I live in a closed street) to open it, but I noticed I couldn't walk well, so I asked my wife to open the gate for her. I sat but worried a bit that my wife was too stoned too and would fall, and hurt herself, but none of that happened, she came back well.
After that we sat on the couch, and then is when it got, REALLY BAD. We were watching the Simpsons which I thought could help me relax, but besides the heavy controlled breathing, I felt really cold, my hands were cold, and shaky, my legs too, my eyes were very dry and foggy, and then it began...
I had the worst feeling ever, do you know the toys that are clowns in a box, and then they pop out and bounce for a while? I felt like the clown, bouncing back and forth, I was really scared, really worried, really anxious about everything, my wife was worried and scared because apparently I was making scary mad faces, she said she thought I was about to beat her, I tried to calm her down, she asked if she should call our neighbor who is a good friend of us, but I declined, I thought it would make me more anxious, she stopped talking and layed down with her head on my lap.
I struggled with this for like 1 and a half hour, but time seemed so long, I didn't know what time it was, but I remembered reading somewhere that if you're on a bad trip, you should remember it's gonna go away sooner or later, it helped me relax.
After a while I began to hear some birds, and water running, I thought this was an hallucination, also a cricket, I enjoyed the water for a moment, but then felt bad again, the water began to bug me, it seemed strange to me that I was hearing water, I stood up and went to check the sink and possible sources of water, but everything was closed.
After a while I reached the point where you know it's gonna end, so I told my wife I was feeling better, my hands were warmer and felt less anxious, but then another problem, it turns out I wasn't dreaming the water, it was the cistern on my house, it was full, so the lady next door came, they are a very very conservative family, extremely squared, so before I noticed she came to notify us about the running water, I though she was here to complain about the smoking, I though I'm not good enough to argue with her so I pretended I was sleeping and didn't hear anything, but she insisted, until my wife answered without opening the door, the neighbor told us about the water, and I told her I'd close the valve, but I'm still worried, because I don't know if she noticed the smell, the houses are close together, most of our neighbors are families, so I don't think they'd understand the situation.
After I closed the valve, we dediced to go to bed, however I was a bit nervous about stopping breathing, I brushed my teeth, but for some reason I freaked out for a while looking at my reflection, as if the mirror behaved differently from me. I took a warm shower, and felt it helped me relax, and calm down.
For the time I layed down in bed I was feeling a lot better, and after 10 minutes or so, I began feeling very well, I had a warm feeling, and everything seemed nice, my thoughts were positive this time, and began to wonder about the experience:
Perhaps it was a lesson, to learn to stop worrying so much about everything, to make a pause and realize there are a lot of things to enjoy, I've had a lot of work these days, I was too stressed, perhaps that's the reason for such a horrible experience, perhaps the weed was punishing me for calling it weak, perhaps I took too much, I have to learn I have limits.
Then I personified the weed, it seemed to me like a experienced MILF bitch, like a hooker or something, first she scolds me, then she fucks me, so after the heavy scolding, I began to fuck her.
Literally, I felt I was fucking the weed in the ass, I saw the weed in the form of three women, one redhead, one blue or green skinned woman, and one with black skin with strange red tattoos on her back, they had a great body, with a big round ass, like miss bum-bum, it was a kinky feeling, I interpret it as the weed teaching me to relax, and enjoy the good things in life, the simple pleasures, I fucked her and enjoyed it.
After having sex (and what a great sex) with it for a while, the effects began to fade out, and felt relaxed and comfortable, I fell asleep and woke up around 7:30 today.
As I'm writing this it's 11:46 in the morning after, I still feel something, I'm still a bit stoned, an hour ago I felt like an aftershock, but right now I think it's saying goodbye.
I've learned to not underestimate any substance, there's no such thing as a safe drug, they can scold you, and then fuck you.
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