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Stranger Registered: 07/03/13 Posts: 424 Last seen: 6 years, 8 months |
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OK i'm gonna start with some backstory. I'm an average guy, not unnatractive, sometimes pretty cute. Not overweight for my height, 5'10 170, but not muscular. I havn't had sex for 4 years. I'm 22. Had sex with a handful if "sluts" in highschool, but what was I being if not a man-slut, so who am i to judge. One of said sluts I really liked but pushed away due to my desire for more of a relationship and her reluctance to such. That desire to be closer also (i'm fairly certain) destroyed any of the few chances I had at a real relationship. Freshman year of college I completely destroyed my mind with psychedelics. Had been taking them since senior year but just for fun and completely ignored and messages they gave me about making my life better, until I took a really big dose and bent my mend over, hard.
Not blamimg psych's, but that expecience left me with some serious side effects because it was so traumatic. Realising who I was(SHITTY) and who i wanted to be(NOT SHITTY), and I was ready and didn't accept it left some serious psychological damage. I was constantly anxious beyond anxious, and not unoccasionally slipping into full blown paranoia. so after that summer semester and fall semester of not getting to know anyone, i transferred to a local branch of the univesrsity to commute from home cause I thought I might do better from there. Since then there have been like 4 "women" in my life I've been seriously interested in. One was at work at the restaurant I worked at in highschool. She was a blonde bombshell waitress at my work, seriously sexy that I was just nice to just because wow. When She started texting me out of nowhere I started to think oh she's inttereste in me, even with sneaking suspicions of no she can't be, because she was so hot. So i chilled with her a few times and made out and shit, but she was like super hardcore christrian so i never tried to take i further. She was super nice and sweet in person, but her texting was just so distant, and felt like she was being a tease, too much of a mind trip for me at the time. Another one was the previous girl's friend. One night she had taken me bowling and afterwards we went to applebees or chili's or somthing just to grab appeteizers. The precious girl, H, had sat down and another guy had sat down next to her and I wasn't gonna say anything because I thought we were kinda sorta together, so just like fuck that if your not gonna say anything you bitch. so I sat in the next booth and talked to the 2 dudes with me for a while before paranoia set in and I just said I need to go outside for a minute. I didn't wana say i'm going to smoke a cig. So while I'm out smoking a cig one of the girls in the group comes out and asks if i'm ok and is just generally nice to me and we talk a bit and smoke together and then go back in. So then I become interested in this girl. Who I talk to for a bit and then asks me to come out with her and her roommmate+boyfriend. I went and it was fun. Had some decent talk on the way to and after, some really serious shit she shared with me. So I tried to be super decent and told her that all the bad shit she went though that she shared sucks, but would just make her a better person in the end and she would be stronger for it. I felt like our hug at the end of the night lingered forever and that I had really connected with this girl. Then she stopped answering me so I was like just fuckit say how I feel and she still wouldnt answer me just to say no or something. So i ended up messaging her friend/roommate on facebook(super embarrassed) and she said she does this with dudes alot and so I just gave up even though I realises I did the thing i did in high school and chased a chick I really liked away, even though I still think it's fucked up that after I just asked for honesty she couldn'r even give me a simple no, if not a detailed shutdown. Third girl would be a cashier at a local gas station. She always greeted me with the biggest smiles ever. But my pessimistic side said oh that's just her job(and it kinda is) and never could work up the balls to ask her out. I saw her at my work sometimes and she was always decent to me, but When I wanted to ask her out at work there was always another person around and my anxiety/shyness stopped me from saying omg you have the warmest smile ever, would you like to get some sushi some time? I saw her just like a week ago at a bar and she gave me the warmest greeting ever and I still think she's probably an awesome chick, but she's in a relationship for the moment, maybe one day. and then I dropped out of school, after 4.5 semesters. Been working at Walmart since for like a year and change. Ignored most of the girls for a year, decided I wanted to get my mind straight before I had any sort of relationship( I do want a relationship, even though just fucking would be nice, I want a real relationship with a woman.). So right now there are two women I have an interest in. One is is a 32year old "manager"(who doesn't oversee anything to do with me, I just see her on breaks) and the other one is a kinda manager, can't really explain I work at walmart she's above me but she just ins't a real manager. The older woman I've always kinda had a thing for even before I knew her. Even before I even talked to her there was just something about her(she isn't gorgeuous, actually rather plain), but for me who wasn't extroverted or exceptional, she just always seemed so decent and kind and accepting even though I never talked to her. Since then I've introduced myself with a semi-almost crude joke which has been stretched too far, and I've also made made fun of her age playfully(22v32) in which I've made her laugh out loud and also be like ohhh jerk! bur never seriously madly. She kinda called me out about a week or two ago. She said something and I said "ohhhh fuck you", and she said Well yeah I/We(i dno whichi) know you have this milf thing and all. I'm just like, Well who doesn't ya know?, instead of any serious confirm/deny. Ir kinda shook me thought cause I don't know if she was just pulling somethign out her ass, but at concerts of been chatting with older chicks and they've been like you have a serious older women thing dont you? so i dont know if she was seeing the same thing they are. which I do, I consider just a fantasy, but making a fantasy a reality? fuck yeah. TLDR the other girl is closer to my age. About a month ago I was working late at night. She came with like 2 chicks and 1 dude, to do whatever, amd ran up to me to try very obviously give me a hug. I balked at this attempt, I was in not the greatrest moood and very tired. You could feel the tension because I balked from the hug and was very tired(aboput to clock out in about 5 min). When I was walking inside to clock out about 5 min later, her group was walking out already. She threw out her arms and I gave her a a hug cause I was less surprised this time. Since then she had been decently (in my mind) flirty towards me. Just like bumping her hip into mine and other touching, and being more likely to stop and talk to me. I was kinda like w/e about this cause I wasn't sure that she, or I, was interested. Then after reading some posts on sexualtiy/relatopmships, And giving some advice of just go for it, it's just worse not to know and knowing a negative response won't kill you. It will actually give you closure instead of worrying. So two days ago I saw her with her phone out and went to snatch it and she got all snippy. She was sick and a I said how that sucks and all, but I was just gonna put my number in your phone. She gave her phone to me and I called my self from it, and I texted her first after work. After a few boring ass texts about her being sick and how I hope she feels better, she texted me how she normallly tries to just hide it(her emotions) at work. I was just like fuck that cause I normally get in trouble trying to be too emotionally involved witha new chick, So i didn't say anything back and no texting resumed that night. She texted me the next morning to say good morning, I didnt text her back til very late cause it had been my day off and I slept very late.Few texts back and forth where I tried to say something of some value, but all her texts were like 2-3 words of insubstantial bullshit. So finally I was like ok im bored. So I said somethinng where she said you're funnny. I said Don't make fun of the way I look! And she was like haha ok butthead. Anf i'm like omg she's boring as shit so i'm like "HEY! I may like butts and I may like head, but I am in no way a butthead!." just to feel out if she would be boring if I started to talk about some weirder shit. and her response was "haha wow" And i was basically like still boring not fun, so I said "you know what would be really wow? if you excused yourself from class and took some "naughty" pics? basically it led to a convo that said what do u reallly want, and I didn't say "I wanna fuck you" which maybe I shoulda done, but I told her she was beautiful and expressed my interest, and she was like your cute and funny and fun to flirt with but I don't date coworkers anymore. And I didn't respond and probably won't tonight but any advice? She's cute and decent and I havn't had sex in so long which makes me want to put on the ultimate confidence fuck it routine, but I also don't want to hurt this chick cuz even though i'm pretty sure I don't wanna be seirous with her I don't wana hurt her. Will elabortate on any part of the story if curious.
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Amateur Anesthesiologist Registered: 11/16/08 Posts: 2,451 Loc: Somewhere Califo Last seen: 5 years, 8 months |
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Who knows maybe she's bored too. Get her in the back of your car during break
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