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HappyHooligan
Tree hugger


Registered: 11/06/13
Posts: 483
Loc: America
Last seen: 6 years, 10 months
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Am I being kinda selfish or is he not romantic enough?
#19223003 - 12/03/13 04:18 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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First off, my boyfriend & I were high school sweethearts, we go to the same college, are madly in love, great sex life, no SERIOUS problems, okay?
Now, I am the super giving type & really sentimental. I'm always getting him gifts, buying him things when he says he wants it, and I'm not cheap people, I'm talking fancy stuff okay....and yes, he always acknowledges that & I know he appreciates it. BUT the issue is, he has never given me a gift...
Yeah, he takes me out to eat on dates, and a lot of cases when we go out to eat he pays for me, but mostly we split the bill.
For our one year anniversary, I got him 6 things of cologne, 6 body washes, and 6 lotions that he said he wanted a while ago. Made a card, wrote a thoughtful poem on it. I bought a bunch of Godiva chocolate (it's fucking delicious and expensive) bought a basket and made him a huge fabulous homemade gift basket thingy.
Now he took me out to Texas de' Brazil... very fancy restaurant in my downtown area. If you never heard of it, it is super nice & you have to dress all nice and shit... I loved it. Fast forward to now, he still to this day uses my gifts every morning & I have already long forgotten what the steaks at Texas de' Brazil taste like.
Am I being selfish, or needy? Be honest, I'm not here for people just to agree with me!
And I'm not asking that he buys me fancy stuff, that just what iiii do. I just want a flower, a pencil that says "love ya", a damn t-shirt, something romantic & thoughtful!!
-------------------- Do you trust the government? You may be suffering from Stockholm Syndrome.
 
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HerbJunkette
Stranger



Registered: 10/11/13
Posts: 91
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Re: Am I being kinda selfish or is he not romantic enough? [Re: HappyHooligan]
#19223015 - 12/03/13 04:23 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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A meal is thoughtful, have you ever paid for the steak dinner?
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The world doesn't belong to us, we belong to it. Always have, Always will. We belong to the world. We belong to the community of life on this planet- It doesn't belong to us. We got confused about that, now it's time to set the record straight. *Daniel Quinn*
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DirtyTomFlint
( ಥـْـِـِـِـْಥ)




Registered: 11/26/13
Posts: 1,879
Loc: United Kingdom
Last seen: 1 year, 2 months
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Re: Am I being kinda selfish or is he not romantic enough? [Re: HerbJunkette]
#19223041 - 12/03/13 04:29 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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I think he should be doing more, you're not being unreasonable.
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   Know Your Body, Know Your Mind, Know Your Substance, Know Your Source
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HappyHooligan
Tree hugger


Registered: 11/06/13
Posts: 483
Loc: America
Last seen: 6 years, 10 months
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Re: Am I being kinda selfish or is he not romantic enough? [Re: HerbJunkette]
#19223086 - 12/03/13 04:41 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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I don't mean to sound so bitter, ya know? I appreciate him paying for food... but it's like, that's it. We spend a lot of time at his house anyways, so that's kinda out the window. He could say "man, I really want that new Xbox game, but I don't get paid until next week" BOOM, I buy it. I say "babe let's take pictures in the photobooth" He'll say "I'm not paying 5 dollars for that shit"
-------------------- Do you trust the government? You may be suffering from Stockholm Syndrome.
 
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HerbJunkette
Stranger



Registered: 10/11/13
Posts: 91
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Re: Am I being kinda selfish or is he not romantic enough? [Re: HappyHooligan]
#19223129 - 12/03/13 04:55 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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I apologize for my biased opinion. Me and my boyfriend are too poor to get each other things so we just appreciate what we can give.
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The world doesn't belong to us, we belong to it. Always have, Always will. We belong to the world. We belong to the community of life on this planet- It doesn't belong to us. We got confused about that, now it's time to set the record straight. *Daniel Quinn*
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Anonymous #1
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Re: Am I being kinda selfish or is he not romantic enough? [Re: HerbJunkette]
#19223200 - 12/03/13 05:14 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Op thats not unreasonable. I have been in the same situation. And eventually quit being so thoughtful so I don't expect the same. But that's not who I am. I like to be thoughtful and do extra, but I like to be appreciated for it. Somewhat. By what you are saying, you want more than he is giving you. If you talk to him and he does not make an effort... Call me the ghost of Christmas future. He won't change an you will continue to be unhappy. Or if your not that way will become unhappy. Then If you have a child it will become even more difficult to pack up and call it quits because you have a human being that is half of both of you. That's tricky. I'm in a boat where looking back it was all there, all the things your saying and if I didn't like it then I should have left. But I feel in to deep with a child and all. So i feel kinda stuck. he says we're not stuck but i don't want to be a single mom. and date. But at the same time it sounds exciting to find someone who makes me feel what i deserve to feel like. But hey I don't know your story. So take it with a grain of salt. May not be right advice for you. It's the advice if I had a time machine I would tell myself that.
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FruitOfLife
Professional Package Handler


Registered: 05/21/12
Posts: 4,832
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Re: Am I being kinda selfish or is he not romantic enough? [Re: Anonymous #1] 1
#19223241 - 12/03/13 05:26 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Girl I'l take you out for a fancy McDonalds happy meal and let YOU have the toy
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Crystal G



Registered: 06/05/07
Posts: 19,584
Loc: outer space
Last seen: 8 months, 30 days
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Re: Am I being kinda selfish or is he not romantic enough? [Re: Anonymous #1]
#19223264 - 12/03/13 05:32 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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From my understanding, the only reason that you feel unappreciated is because you go beyond and out of your way to do nice things for him, and he doesn't reciprocate.
so, my suggestion to you is, stop going out of your way to be romantic to him. Mirror however he acts towards you.
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HappyHooligan
Tree hugger


Registered: 11/06/13
Posts: 483
Loc: America
Last seen: 6 years, 10 months
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Re: Am I being kinda selfish or is he not romantic enough? [Re: HerbJunkette]
#19223745 - 12/03/13 07:16 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
HerbJunkette said: Me and my boyfriend are too poor to get each other things so we just appreciate what we can give.
Again, it's not about the money. & I do appreciate everything my boyfriend does for me, but I know I'd go to the ends of the earth to see him smile, and he... well if I'm upset, all he says is "Is it my fault...oh it's not??" *goes on with his day* And again, that sounds pretty harsh, but my examples are coming from rare occasions.
-------------------- Do you trust the government? You may be suffering from Stockholm Syndrome.
 
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Gorlax



Registered: 05/06/08
Posts: 6,697
Last seen: 5 days, 5 hours
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Re: Am I being kinda selfish or is he not romantic enough? [Re: HappyHooligan]
#19223768 - 12/03/13 07:23 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Maybe he just isn't into buying gifts for people? Kind of sounds like my friend, him and his girlfriend eat out EVERYDAY, pretty sure they split the bill. He buys her shit but only on special occasions, say valentines day, Christmas.
Honestly you might just be buying him too much shit and he is just used to it. If you want shit in return stop buying him stuff and see how he reacts...
Now that I type this...This is pretty petty shit. It's not like he went out and fucked some other girl.. At least he bought you a nice dinner
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HappyHooligan
Tree hugger


Registered: 11/06/13
Posts: 483
Loc: America
Last seen: 6 years, 10 months
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Re: Am I being kinda selfish or is he not romantic enough? [Re: Gorlax]
#19223838 - 12/03/13 07:36 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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lol yeah it does sound petty, that's why I don't even think it's worth bringing up in a conversation with him. And a lot of people will probably say "just buy him less stuff", but that's just how I am. I like to spoil the ones I love. He tells me all day that he loves me & enjoys spending time with me, and if that's all he ever does for the rest of my life... I'll still be happy, BUT if he could just get us matching t-shirts or send me a bouquet of flowers, it would be a bonus.
-------------------- Do you trust the government? You may be suffering from Stockholm Syndrome.
 
Edited by HappyHooligan (12/03/13 07:38 PM)
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Anonymous #2
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Re: Am I being kinda selfish or is he not romantic enough? [Re: HappyHooligan]
#19223940 - 12/03/13 07:51 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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You sound like my girlfriend.
She buys me things that I don't want sometimes.
I appreciate that she thinks of me but I simply don't want these things, just little things that serve no purpose but to gather dust or take up space somewhere I'll never look again.
I've told her to stop buying me things though so most times she doesn't anymore.
I take her out for meals and get her flowers sometimes, not only on special occasions but I'm not a rich man.
If you feel this way you should stop buying things for him and see how that works out.
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HerbJunkette
Stranger



Registered: 10/11/13
Posts: 91
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Re: Am I being kinda selfish or is he not romantic enough? [Re: Anonymous #2]
#19224447 - 12/03/13 09:26 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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If buying gifts is your way expressing love, then that's your deal. But you can't expect it in return.
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The world doesn't belong to us, we belong to it. Always have, Always will. We belong to the world. We belong to the community of life on this planet- It doesn't belong to us. We got confused about that, now it's time to set the record straight. *Daniel Quinn*
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HappyHooligan
Tree hugger


Registered: 11/06/13
Posts: 483
Loc: America
Last seen: 6 years, 10 months
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Re: Am I being kinda selfish or is he not romantic enough? [Re: HerbJunkette]
#19224483 - 12/03/13 09:42 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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I shouldn't expect my boyfriend to be sentimental & sweet?

He'll spend money on himself or buy his buddy something cause they're "more like brothers & have a close bond"
But when I, his girlfriend, ask him to buy me flowers... "babe, the flowers are just gonna die anyways"
No, I think I have the right to at least WANT a gift lol
-------------------- Do you trust the government? You may be suffering from Stockholm Syndrome.
 
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Anonymous #3
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Re: Am I being kinda selfish or is he not romantic enough? [Re: HerbJunkette]
#19224484 - 12/03/13 09:42 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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What are you taking about? You've been trying to lose those pounds since he took you out!
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HappyHooligan
Tree hugger


Registered: 11/06/13
Posts: 483
Loc: America
Last seen: 6 years, 10 months
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Re: Am I being kinda selfish or is he not romantic enough? [Re: Anonymous #3]
#19224489 - 12/03/13 09:44 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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What? lol
-------------------- Do you trust the government? You may be suffering from Stockholm Syndrome.
 
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Anonymous #3
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Re: Am I being kinda selfish or is he not romantic enough? [Re: HappyHooligan]
#19224549 - 12/03/13 09:53 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
HappyHooligan said: What? lol
I'm just sayin, maybe those steaks aren't as long gone as you think they are. you are what you eat.
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HappyHooligan
Tree hugger


Registered: 11/06/13
Posts: 483
Loc: America
Last seen: 6 years, 10 months
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Re: Am I being kinda selfish or is he not romantic enough? [Re: Anonymous #3]
#19224583 - 12/03/13 10:03 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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I'm stupid, I literally didn't get what you were saying at first. But oh lol yeah, I'm sure I gained three pounds in like 15 mins
-------------------- Do you trust the government? You may be suffering from Stockholm Syndrome.
 
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Anonymous #3
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Re: Am I being kinda selfish or is he not romantic enough? [Re: HappyHooligan]
#19224648 - 12/03/13 10:18 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
HappyHooligan said: I'm stupid, I literally didn't get what you were saying at first. But oh lol yeah, I'm sure I gained three pounds in like 15 mins
I'm not saying you're fat or anything, but when you look in the mirror and see something you're not happy with, you can think "aww thanks babe."
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Patlal
You ask too many questions



Registered: 10/09/10
Posts: 44,812
Loc: Ottawa
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Re: Am I being kinda selfish or is he not romantic enough? [Re: Anonymous #3]
#19225670 - 12/04/13 08:15 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Im not really a gift buyer myself, it makes me feel as if im trying to buy her love or something
Does that make me unromantic? Maybe
Happiness doesnt come in a cardboard box in a gift basket
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