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OfflinePatlal
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Well, I'm officially behind in life...
    #19221240 - 12/03/13 09:31 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

My best friend who is 4 years younger than me is talking about marrying his girlfriend. My childhood friend who's the same age as me just married his girl in secret and is 4 and a half months pregnant.

Most of the people I went to school with have children/ are pregnant / are married.

I'm still single, no prospect ahead of me, no kids, no intention of marrying ever.

I fell behind...

All I have to say is that I'm richer than all of them (or close).

Which is better? Money, or a family?


--------------------


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Invisibleblackdust
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Re: Well, I'm officially behind in life... [Re: Patlal]
    #19221251 - 12/03/13 09:33 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Patlal said:
My best friend who is 4 years younger than me is talking about marrying his girlfriend. My childhood friend who's the same age as me just married his girl in secret and is 4 and a half months pregnant.

Most of the people I went to school with have children/ are pregnant / are married.

I'm still single, no prospect ahead of me, no kids, no intention of marrying ever.

I fell behind...

All I have to say is that I'm richer than all of them (or close).

Which is better? Money, or a family?




What good is money if you have no family to share a life with>? Also, anyone can have a family and have money.

:kingcrankey:


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InvisibleLittleDipster
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Re: Well, I'm officially behind in life... [Re: blackdust] * 7
    #19221262 - 12/03/13 09:36 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

life isn't a race. take your time


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InvisibleSheekle
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Re: Well, I'm officially behind in life... [Re: LittleDipster] * 5
    #19221281 - 12/03/13 09:41 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

LittleDipster said:
life isn't a race. take your time



Qft


--------------------
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OfflinePatlal
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Re: Well, I'm officially behind in life... [Re: LittleDipster]
    #19221287 - 12/03/13 09:44 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

LittleDipster said:
life isn't a race. take your time




Yeah but still.

It makes me feel like everybody around me is blooming, spreading their wings and flourishing while i'm still a seed in the earth that hasn't grown.

It's weird.


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Invisiblebadchad
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Re: Well, I'm officially behind in life... [Re: Patlal] * 4
    #19221288 - 12/03/13 09:44 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Newsflash:  Life isn't a contest.

Having kids is a biological response.  The goal of 90% of women is to get married and assist in that response.

Neither are real "Achievements".


--------------------
...the whole experience is (and is as) a profound piece of knowledge.  It is an indellible experience; it is forever known.  I have known myself in a way I doubt I would have ever occurred except as it did.

Smith, P.  Bull. Menninger Clinic (1959) 23:20-27; p. 27.

...most subjects find the experience valuable, some find it frightening, and many say that is it uniquely lovely.

Osmond, H.  Annals, NY Acad Science (1957) 66:418-434; p.436


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Invisiblepsi
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Re: Well, I'm officially behind in life... [Re: Patlal] * 2
    #19221289 - 12/03/13 09:44 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Why would you see yourself as "behind" for not doing things you had no intention of doing anyway?


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InvisibleLittleDipster
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Re: Well, I'm officially behind in life... [Re: Patlal]
    #19221297 - 12/03/13 09:46 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Patlal said:
Quote:

LittleDipster said:
life isn't a race. take your time




Yeah but still.

It makes me feel like everybody around me is blooming, spreading their wings and flourishing while i'm still a seed in the earth that hasn't grown.

It's weird.




do you feel like you're stuck and can't move forward?

are you depressed?


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OfflinePatlal
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Re: Well, I'm officially behind in life... [Re: psi]
    #19221300 - 12/03/13 09:47 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

psi said:
Why would you see yourself as "behind" for not doing things you had no intention of doing anyway?




I dunno man. Like I said earlier, I have a feeling that I'm not growing.

Most people get have kids and get married or stay together in long relaitionships.

I'm officially not in the "normal" spectrum of things. Not that being normal is of any importance in life (personally I feel that being outside the mold is better), but still. It kinda affects me.


--------------------


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OfflinePatlal
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Re: Well, I'm officially behind in life... [Re: LittleDipster]
    #19221307 - 12/03/13 09:48 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

LittleDipster said:
Quote:

Patlal said:
Quote:

LittleDipster said:
life isn't a race. take your time




Yeah but still.

It makes me feel like everybody around me is blooming, spreading their wings and flourishing while i'm still a seed in the earth that hasn't grown.

It's weird.




do you feel like you're stuck and can't move forward?

are you depressed?




Not at all.

It's just weird.


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Offlinest1llnox
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Re: Well, I'm officially behind in life... [Re: Patlal]
    #19221312 - 12/03/13 09:50 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Dude, I know exactly how you feel... I'm in the same boat across pretty much all dimensions of my life and I've perhaps even regressed instead of stagnated.


Why don't you want to get married though?


--------------------
Back, bitches.
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InvisibleLittleDipster
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Re: Well, I'm officially behind in life... [Re: Patlal]
    #19221314 - 12/03/13 09:50 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

do you have plans for the future?


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Invisiblebadchad
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Re: Well, I'm officially behind in life... [Re: Patlal]
    #19221321 - 12/03/13 09:51 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

You could try focusing on other goals.

I've had the anecdotal observation that career focused people are less likely to have children.


--------------------
...the whole experience is (and is as) a profound piece of knowledge.  It is an indellible experience; it is forever known.  I have known myself in a way I doubt I would have ever occurred except as it did.

Smith, P.  Bull. Menninger Clinic (1959) 23:20-27; p. 27.

...most subjects find the experience valuable, some find it frightening, and many say that is it uniquely lovely.

Osmond, H.  Annals, NY Acad Science (1957) 66:418-434; p.436


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InvisibleMagicman69
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Re: Well, I'm officially behind in life... [Re: st1llnox]
    #19221328 - 12/03/13 09:53 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

It keeps saying "Can't process your order, please try again later."

I figured it was because it said the other two supporter accounts I had just bought were still pending on the gift card. I checked this morning, and they went through. :crankey: I'll keep trying

As for not having kids or whatever, I'm in my mid-late twenties and also am not married (yet) or have kids. I think if you reach 40, it's time to panic.


Edited by Magicman69 (12/03/13 09:54 AM)


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OfflinePatlal
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Re: Well, I'm officially behind in life... [Re: st1llnox]
    #19221333 - 12/03/13 09:54 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

st1llnox said:
Dude, I know exactly how you feel... I'm in the same boat across pretty much all dimensions of my life and I've perhaps even regressed instead of stagnated.


Why don't you want to get married though?




I don't believe in marriage. I am a militant atheist and marriage is widely perceived as a religious concept. Plus I think it's somewhat useless given that fact the you can get divorced as easily as you can break up with a none married GF


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InvisibleMagicman69
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Re: Well, I'm officially behind in life... [Re: Patlal]
    #19221336 - 12/03/13 09:56 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Most woman, especially good looking ones, want to get married and have a wedding. $50 you end up married :lol:


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OfflinePatlal
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Re: Well, I'm officially behind in life... [Re: LittleDipster]
    #19221338 - 12/03/13 09:57 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

LittleDipster said:
do you have plans for the future?




I have plans, business plans, financial plans, investments plans. My plan is to get very rich. That's the only plan I got. I haven't even considered a family or kids or whatever, It's all things that other people do in my head.

It's really weird though cause despite all the money I want to make, I have no dream purchase. I don't want a ferrari or a huge house or whatever luxury a couple million can buy you. I just want it to have it. Go figure.


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Offlinedontknow
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Re: Well, I'm officially behind in life... [Re: Patlal] * 2
    #19221339 - 12/03/13 09:57 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

If you compare yourself to other people you'll never add up in every way.

Life to death isn't a straight line and everyone's path is a different length. You can't be behind someone who's running a different race


--------------------
:box:

The discerning heart seeks knowledge, but the mouth of a fool feeds on folly. -Proverbs 15:14

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Invisiblebadchad
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Re: Well, I'm officially behind in life... [Re: Patlal] * 1
    #19221341 - 12/03/13 09:57 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Patlal said:


I don't believe in marriage.




This view is probably going to decrease your chances of children, depending on the circles you date in.


--------------------
...the whole experience is (and is as) a profound piece of knowledge.  It is an indellible experience; it is forever known.  I have known myself in a way I doubt I would have ever occurred except as it did.

Smith, P.  Bull. Menninger Clinic (1959) 23:20-27; p. 27.

...most subjects find the experience valuable, some find it frightening, and many say that is it uniquely lovely.

Osmond, H.  Annals, NY Acad Science (1957) 66:418-434; p.436


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InvisibleLynnch
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Re: Well, I'm officially behind in life... [Re: Patlal] * 1
    #19221344 - 12/03/13 09:57 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Man, I get down on myself like that sometimes like "Damn, I'm practically still a kid." Then I realize "Hot damn, I'm practically still a kid! I'm gonna go drink a beer and spend some money recklessly without worrying about a wife and kids!"

All of the people around my age married with kids seem beat as fuck.

Family isn't the end all be all. Plenty of cool stuff to do out there.  Just make sure you're working to live, not living to work.

You can choose to get divorced as easily as breaking up with a gf, but there is quite a bit of monetary entanglement etc to deal with (Which is why you don't need a lawyer when you break up with your gf...)


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OfflinePatlal
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Re: Well, I'm officially behind in life... [Re: Lynnch]
    #19221353 - 12/03/13 10:00 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Lynnch said:
Man, I get down on myself like that sometimes like "Damn, I'm practically still a kid." Then I realize "Hot damn, I'm practically still a kid! I'm gonna go drink a beer and spend some money recklessly without worrying about a wife and kids!"

All of the people around my age married with kids seem beat as fuck.

Family isn't the end all be all. Plenty of cool stuff to do out there.  Just make sure you're working to live, not living to work.

You can choose to get divorced as easily as breaking up with a gf, but there is quite a bit of monetary entanglement etc to deal with (Which is why you don't need a lawyer when you break up with your gf...)




I agree. I feel as if I haven't grown up.

As for monatary entanglement of marriage. If I ever get married, I'll have a prenup for sure. If she doesn't want one, I ain't getting married and I'll be willing to break up over it.

I love you honey, please sign here, here and here. Thank you


--------------------


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Invisiblegzuf
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Re: Well, I'm officially behind in life... [Re: Patlal] * 1
    #19221356 - 12/03/13 10:00 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Haha, suckers getting married young and having kids. I never understand people who do that, I understand even less people who sit there wishing they had that. Why tie yourself down at a young age? You are in your fuckin' prime man, live it. Keep your money, spend it on yourself. Yeah let me have this shitty little kid I can't support and then get this bitch to hate me within a few years cause I can't support my family and she ends up divorcing me, so now I have to pay fuckin' alimony and she's fucking my best friend in my house on my bed.


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Invisiblebadchad
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Re: Well, I'm officially behind in life... [Re: Patlal]
    #19221361 - 12/03/13 10:02 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

I can tell you that pre-nups can get WAY more complex than that.  Usually they just protect assets your bringing into a marriage. 

It's definitely monetary entanglement, even with a prenup.


--------------------
...the whole experience is (and is as) a profound piece of knowledge.  It is an indellible experience; it is forever known.  I have known myself in a way I doubt I would have ever occurred except as it did.

Smith, P.  Bull. Menninger Clinic (1959) 23:20-27; p. 27.

...most subjects find the experience valuable, some find it frightening, and many say that is it uniquely lovely.

Osmond, H.  Annals, NY Acad Science (1957) 66:418-434; p.436


Edited by badchad (12/03/13 10:03 AM)


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Offlineg00ru
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Re: Well, I'm officially behind in life... [Re: badchad]
    #19221653 - 12/03/13 11:26 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)



--------------------
check out my music!
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Offlinempd
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Re: Well, I'm officially behind in life... [Re: Patlal]
    #19221717 - 12/03/13 11:41 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Don't let it get to you, OP.  There are many paths to maturity and yours is just different.  Nothing more, nothing less.  You'll find that special girl and settle down to strong relationship.  You have a lot of positive attributes and those just need to shine through and you'll be good to go.

No worries!


--------------------
There is no truer calling for mankind than that of true conservatism.


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InvisibleAsante
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Re: Well, I'm officially behind in life... [Re: Patlal]
    #19221762 - 12/03/13 11:53 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Patlal said:

Which is better? Money, or a family?







--------------------
Omnicyclion.org
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Offlineqman
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Re: Well, I'm officially behind in life... [Re: Patlal] * 1
    #19221827 - 12/03/13 12:06 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Patlal said:
Quote:

psi said:
Why would you see yourself as "behind" for not doing things you had no intention of doing anyway?




I dunno man. Like I said earlier, I have a feeling that I'm not growing.

Most people get have kids and get married or stay together in long relationships.

I'm officially not in the "normal" spectrum of things. Not that being normal is of any importance in life (personally I feel that being outside the mold is better), but still. It kinda affects me.




"Most people get have kids and get married or stay together in long relationships."

That is not true, your perception of the world is flawed, just because a lot of people YOU know are doing the marriage thing, it doesn't mean "most people" are getting married and having children.

There is not a week that goes by when I don't hear from a parent or married person "don't ever have kids" or "don't ever get married".

Being a family man is a very huge responsibility, I know people that earn $150-200k per year and they are broke, the woman spends every penny, they get divorced, it's not a easy life, many times it ends up in tears.


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InvisibleRockyRaccoon
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Re: Well, I'm officially behind in life... [Re: Patlal]
    #19221845 - 12/03/13 12:10 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Patlal said:

I fell behind...





I'd say that by having no kids of wife that you are ahead. But that's just me I guess. :shrug:


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InvisibleSet
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Re: Well, I'm officially behind in life... [Re: Patlal]
    #19221926 - 12/03/13 12:29 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Hey OP, have you been getting invited to weddings?

I'm 28 and feel a lot of the same things right now in life.  Sucks watching all of my friends get married.

I think in 5 years or so I'll be ready to make a commitment like that that.  Right in time for my friends to be getting divorced.  :lol:


I'm a groomsman in a couple wedding coming up in 2014.  Will be fun to hit on bridesmaids at least.


--------------------
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Offlinei like cow poo
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Re: Well, I'm officially behind in life... [Re: Patlal] * 1
    #19222027 - 12/03/13 12:46 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

You're ahead. Do the environment a favor and don't spread this disease....I mean humanity by having a kid.


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Offlinehappygolucky
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Re: Well, I'm officially behind in life... [Re: i like cow poo] * 3
    #19222078 - 12/03/13 12:54 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

There's no such thing as being behind in life. Social-engineering is a mother fucker.


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Invisibleblackdust
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Re: Well, I'm officially behind in life... [Re: Patlal]
    #19222175 - 12/03/13 01:09 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Patlal said:

As for monatary entanglement of marriage. If I ever get married, I'll have a prenup for sure. If she doesn't want one, I ain't getting married and I'll be willing to break up over it.







You are so fucked in marriage if you want a prenup. I have to think you have trust issues or are planning on a divorce. Only one way to have a good marriage and that is to be transparent.

:huxleyfacepalm:


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Offlinei like cow poo
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Re: Well, I'm officially behind in life... [Re: blackdust]
    #19222187 - 12/03/13 01:13 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

meh 50% of people get divorced


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OfflineThe Vapor
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Re: Well, I'm officially behind in life... [Re: i like cow poo] * 1
    #19222224 - 12/03/13 01:20 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Maybe, you are ahead because you are living life at your own pace, doing the things that you want...

:strokebeard2:


--------------------


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Invisibleblackdust
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Re: Well, I'm officially behind in life... [Re: i like cow poo]
    #19222237 - 12/03/13 01:24 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

i like cow poo said:
meh 50% of people get divorced




must of had prenup's or separate bank accounts/lives lol

0000
in all seriousness I have been around plenty of women. After a while a person can get a sense of what a women is made of. All the women i've been around would be what I call a whore but I met one that I knew was different and I married her. I have been married about 3 years and every year we get closer together. Not saying we have not had fights b/c there will be fights in any relationship. I knew if I did not marry her that someone else would figure out what she had to offer and that was unconditional love that could not be broken.

:awetrippie:


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Offlinekakashi68
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Re: Well, I'm officially behind in life... [Re: blackdust]
    #19222260 - 12/03/13 01:29 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

marriage is a silly religious concept created to stop women being sluts. Now days its pretty much just a legal thing and to make sure you cant just rage quit.

But I suppose its better to be behind than feeling like your last :/


--------------------
You know, just sometimes in between the first cigarette with coffee in the morning to that 400th glass of cornershop piss at 3am--you do sometimes look at yourself and think--this is fantastic. I'm in heaven.
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Offlineg00ru
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Re: Well, I'm officially behind in life... [Re: kakashi68] * 1
    #19222282 - 12/03/13 01:34 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

actually if you feel like you are in absolute last place that's almost like a weird sort of accomplishment


--------------------
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InvisibleX-citer
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Re: Well, I'm officially behind in life... [Re: Patlal] * 1
    #19222819 - 12/03/13 03:33 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

i was 41 when i met the love of my life.  i never stressed for one minute in the years leading up to that, i trusted my heart and knew marriage and kids were not for me but as i got older my perspectives and priorities naturally evolved and meeting a woman with kids that i have come to love as my own was the right thing to happen at that stage of my life.


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