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InvisibleAlexestalex
fallen angel
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Registered: 03/20/12
Posts: 5,644
Loc: heart of the sun
poetry
    #19217890 - 12/02/13 03:52 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

I wrote this poem, feel free to critique!

"Life is theater, theater is life, we're all actors in this cosmic surprise
Some play the roles of beggars and slaves, sentenced to a life full of demise and disgrace
Others lead and cause the world to sway, while some live in the moment without a dull day
But once the play ends and the curtains all close, every single hoax will unfold
For the play is scripted, down to the line, no good deed goes unheard no foul act unpunished
When the game ends and our actors all bow, the deck is reshuffled and the new roles are passed down
Never forget that once it all ends, the ace and the two go back to the same deck."

Also, feel free to post your favorite works of poetry here or add your own!


--------------------

Stay far from timid, only make moves when your heart's in it.


Edited by Alexestalex (12/02/13 03:56 PM)


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Offlinest1llnox
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Registered: 11/27/12
Posts: 7,312
Loc: 913 KANSAS CITY 816 Flag
Last seen: 5 years, 1 month
Re: poetry [Re: Alexestalex]
    #19217909 - 12/02/13 03:55 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

That's really cool, especially the ending about the ace and the two. I feel like without that interesting flourish, it would have been good/solid but piling up that extra meaning and the multi-etendre within at the end makes it GREAT.


I also at first thought it was heading a Christian direction halfway through, but then I started getting more Buddhist/reincarnation vibes... is that what you were going for?


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Offlinewrestler_az
PsiLLy BiLLy
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Registered: 08/11/02
Posts: 13,676
Loc: day dreams of a mad man
Last seen: 1 hour, 32 minutes
Re: poetry [Re: Alexestalex]
    #19217941 - 12/02/13 04:02 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

cast away on a desert island
surrounded by endless  ocean,
In search of sweet asylum
from all the chaos and commotion.

instead im enslaved
by merciless waves
of undefined emotion,

I shake as they break
on the shores of my brain
with cruel and unusual devotion.

Underground I make my way
And hope to greet the coming day
with a tale
of this golden moment

But If its my fate to find my grave
Between the walls of this dark cave,
I pray these words engraved today
May stay and remain unspoken.


--------------------
how's your WOW?





  Edited by yageman (04/20/06 4:20 PM) 


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