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fiddle



Registered: 04/10/08
Posts: 1,769
Loc: PNW
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Turned down at the kiss
#19217619 - 12/02/13 02:49 PM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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Here's the story in a nutshell: Boy meets girl, boy and girl go out. Boy asks for a kiss at the end of the night and the girl says she thinks she just likes him as a friend.
The boy is me and I'm still interested in the girl but know when to move on. I'd still like to be friends with her so is there any reason for me to explain myself, to try and dispel any awkwardness? "I know what I want and would kick myself for not trying to get it, but I know when to back off." Or should I just pretend it never happened and talk to her as I have been--as a friend?
-------------------- Tickle my bassline.
Edited by fiddle (12/02/13 03:18 PM)
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andrewmurray86
Θεολογος




Registered: 02/05/13
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Re: Turned down at the kiss [Re: fiddle]
#19217787 - 12/02/13 03:28 PM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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ooh... feel the situation out dude... IMO I'd probably explain then bail on the whole thing. Explaining gives you back your dignity and leaving shows that you're man enough to let go. Might work in your favour but if not at least you can hold your head high.
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DirtyTomFlint
( ಥـْـِـِـِـْಥ)




Registered: 11/26/13
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It's good that you made a move, because you've basically got your answer. Depending on how your feelings are, move on. It's not smart to 'go for her' KNOWING she doesn't like you that way and HOPING to change her mind one day. Life goes on, and thats what she wants. Do yourself a favor, my friend
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   Know Your Body, Know Your Mind, Know Your Substance, Know Your Source
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Sham87
mashAllah


Registered: 05/16/11
Posts: 9,816
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Quote:
DatIslandLife said: It's good that you made a move, because you've basically got your answer. Depending on how your feelings are, move on. It's not smart to 'go for her' KNOWING she doesn't like you that way and HOPING to change her mind one day. Life goes on, and thats what she wants. Do yourself a favor, my friend 
QFT
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   ...once in a while you get shown the light in the strangest places if you look at it right...
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fiddle



Registered: 04/10/08
Posts: 1,769
Loc: PNW
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Yeah, pursuing her romantically won't get my anywhere at this point. I'm pursuing other girls, and don't intend to be hung up on this one. I'd just hate to lose the friendship to awkwardness.
Edited by fiddle (12/02/13 03:45 PM)
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pwnasaurus
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Re: Turned down at the kiss [Re: fiddle] 2
#19218040 - 12/02/13 04:24 PM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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You asked for a kiss? Well that's a non-starter right there. Kinda ruins the moment. You should have just gone for it. She can always pull away if she's really not interested.
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FruitOfLife
Professional Package Handler


Registered: 05/21/12
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Re: Turned down at the kiss [Re: pwnasaurus]
#19218183 - 12/02/13 04:53 PM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
pwnasaurus said: You asked for a kiss? Well that's a non-starter right there. Kinda ruins the moment. You should have just gone for it. She can always pull away if she's really not interested.
This^^^
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Trippinhighman
kill the flux



Registered: 06/04/12
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Quote:
FruitOfLife said:
Quote:
pwnasaurus said: You asked for a kiss? Well that's a non-starter right there. Kinda ruins the moment. You should have just gone for it. She can always pull away if she's really not interested.
This^^^
^^^^^this is where you went wrong.
if she agrees to go out on a date or whatever, it's expected that you'll try to make a move. if she didn't like you she wouldn't have gone. words just fuck things up, be a man and get what you want. if she turns away when you go in for it, leave that bitch alone.
seems like you already got it straightened out my friend. take it in as experience and don't hesitate next time
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fiddle



Registered: 04/10/08
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Re: Turned down at the kiss [Re: pwnasaurus]
#19219549 - 12/02/13 09:27 PM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
pwnasaurus said: You asked for a kiss? Well that's a non-starter right there. Kinda ruins the moment. You should have just gone for it. She can always pull away if she's really not interested.
Fair enough. I don't consider it a complete loss.
-------------------- Tickle my bassline.
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fiddle



Registered: 04/10/08
Posts: 1,769
Loc: PNW
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Re: Turned down at the kiss [Re: fiddle]
#19219759 - 12/02/13 10:08 PM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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Fuck. The more I think about this the less I think I should give her up. I haven't liked a girl like this for a long time. I'm going out and partying with other girls this weekend but I don't think it will help. I really think she liked me too.
-------------------- Tickle my bassline.
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A-Ribbon
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Re: Turned down at the kiss [Re: fiddle]
#19219898 - 12/02/13 10:33 PM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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Why is it so impossible to know when to move in for the kiss
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fiddle



Registered: 04/10/08
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Re: Turned down at the kiss [Re: A-Ribbon]
#19220010 - 12/02/13 10:57 PM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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I don't know. Fear of being turned down, mostly. That worked out well.
-------------------- Tickle my bassline.
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Ballerium
Little Black Spot on the Sun



Registered: 10/03/10
Posts: 11,025
Loc: GA
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Quote:
Trippinhighman said:
Quote:
FruitOfLife said:
Quote:
pwnasaurus said: You asked for a kiss? Well that's a non-starter right there. Kinda ruins the moment. You should have just gone for it. She can always pull away if she's really not interested.
This^^^
^^^^^this is where you went wrong.
if she agrees to go out on a date or whatever, it's expected that you'll try to make a move. if she didn't like you she wouldn't have gone. words just fuck things up, be a man and get what you want. if she turns away when you go in for it, leave that bitch alone.
seems like you already got it straightened out my friend. take it in as experience and don't hesitate next time 
Agreed. I realize that guys don't want to be sleazy or a creep by just diving in for a kiss, but if I am giving you all the proper signs and signals that I want you to, then it is a total turn off to be asked if you can kiss me.
Then I start wondering, is this how its gonna be in bed? Is he going to ask my permission before every little thing? I want my guy to be all rawr caveman! I take what I want! As far as a physical relationship is concerned. Obviously this is just my own opinion but I'm just trying to help give you some perspective.
-------------------- Beats and waves will take me to my grave and when I go there I know that I won't be alone 'cause I've been spotted, blotted, many many times before.
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fiddle



Registered: 04/10/08
Posts: 1,769
Loc: PNW
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Re: Turned down at the kiss [Re: Ballerium]
#19220995 - 12/03/13 07:59 AM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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Thanks, I appreciate the advice. This isn't the place for rationalizations so I'm not going to explain why I asked, but I will say that I do want this girl. Is this salvageable?
-------------------- Tickle my bassline.
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Ballerium
Little Black Spot on the Sun



Registered: 10/03/10
Posts: 11,025
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Re: Turned down at the kiss [Re: fiddle]
#19221023 - 12/03/13 08:13 AM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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I can't answer that for you. That is between you and her. I would suggest just talking to her and telling her that you really like her, but that you understand if she isn't interested. If you truly want to remain friends with her platonically, maybe tell her that you value her friendship and ask her where things went wrong? Who knows if she'll tell you but it could be valuable to you in the future to understand where things went sour so that you won't make the same mistake next time. Kinda like how some applicants will call an employer after not getting a job to ask for feedback about what they could have done better in the interview. 
I may be giving you terrible advice though. I've never really been one to date and I've been in a relationship for the last five years.
-------------------- Beats and waves will take me to my grave and when I go there I know that I won't be alone 'cause I've been spotted, blotted, many many times before.
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fiddle



Registered: 04/10/08
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Re: Turned down at the kiss [Re: Ballerium]
#19221048 - 12/03/13 08:24 AM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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Okay. I'm going to call and say I want to see her then go from there.
-------------------- Tickle my bassline.
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Ballerium
Little Black Spot on the Sun



Registered: 10/03/10
Posts: 11,025
Loc: GA
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Re: Turned down at the kiss [Re: fiddle]
#19221059 - 12/03/13 08:27 AM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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Good luck! Let us know how it goes.
-------------------- Beats and waves will take me to my grave and when I go there I know that I won't be alone 'cause I've been spotted, blotted, many many times before.
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Aldous
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Re: Turned down at the kiss [Re: Ballerium]
#19221270 - 12/03/13 09:37 AM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
Ballerium said: ask her where things went wrong? Who knows if she'll tell you but it could be valuable to you in the future to understand where things went sour so that you won't make the same mistake next time.
Do this only if you definitely give her up. Asking her and then trying to make up for it would make you look hopelessly desperate and would get you nowhere.
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fiddle



Registered: 04/10/08
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Loc: PNW
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Re: Turned down at the kiss [Re: Ballerium]
#19221494 - 12/03/13 10:46 AM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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I just called and we're going rock climbing tonight or tomorrow.
-------------------- Tickle my bassline.
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Ballerium
Little Black Spot on the Sun



Registered: 10/03/10
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Re: Turned down at the kiss [Re: fiddle]
#19221527 - 12/03/13 10:56 AM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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-------------------- Beats and waves will take me to my grave and when I go there I know that I won't be alone 'cause I've been spotted, blotted, many many times before.
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Black_Sunset
Amateur Anesthesiologist


Registered: 11/16/08
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Quote:
FruitOfLife said:
Quote:
pwnasaurus said: You asked for a kiss? Well that's a non-starter right there. Kinda ruins the moment. You should have just gone for it. She can always pull away if she's really not interested.
This^^^
Never ask.
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fiddle



Registered: 04/10/08
Posts: 1,769
Loc: PNW
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She said she was too busy to climb last week and bailed on another plan with the same reason that weekend. Me thinks its time to cut contact.
It is finals period, and I do like this girl, but I don't like attaching myself to somebody like this. Advice?
-------------------- Tickle my bassline.
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Lynnch
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Re: Turned down at the kiss [Re: fiddle]
#19258032 - 12/10/13 10:32 PM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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If you aren't getting what you're looking for, look elsewhere. She knows where to find you.
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pwnasaurus
Stranger



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Re: Turned down at the kiss [Re: Lynnch]
#19258043 - 12/10/13 10:35 PM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
Lynnch said: If you aren't getting what you're looking for, look elsewhere. She knows where to find you.
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Black_Sunset
Amateur Anesthesiologist


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Re: Turned down at the kiss [Re: pwnasaurus]
#19263661 - 12/11/13 11:56 PM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
pwnasaurus said:
Quote:
Lynnch said: If you aren't getting what you're looking for, look elsewhere. She knows where to find you.

yep. Just back off
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theRAPeutic
Hueman


Registered: 07/22/13
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Quote:
Black_Sunset said:
Quote:
pwnasaurus said:
Quote:
Lynnch said: If you aren't getting what you're looking for, look elsewhere. She knows where to find you.

yep. Just back off
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fiddle



Registered: 04/10/08
Posts: 1,769
Loc: PNW
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I did back off, now she wants to study
-------------------- Tickle my bassline.
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