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InvisibleShroomopotamus
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Registered: 09/27/09
Posts: 18,757
Loc: Funkotron
Top the fuck story above you
    #19206595 - 11/29/13 09:41 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

I lubed up some big ole titties with homemade marijuana butter and fucked em silly.

Top that Shroomery.


--------------------
*
Live by the mushroom, die by the mushroom
:mushroom2::rainbowdrink:
This is a trap! A trap! You are all busted! Busted! You fools!
:twirlyface:

If a time comes where I fail to appear I've been abducted and I will miss you all
Please smile and pet puppies as often as possible
Be happy
Be nice
(<3);}


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InvisibleCounterCulturest
-Positive Mental Attitude-

Registered: 01/18/10
Posts: 3,662
Loc: Nesting on modems
Re: Top the fuck story above you [Re: Shroomopotamus]
    #19206604 - 11/29/13 09:47 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

I bet those titties and cock smelt real bad after you done with that lol


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OfflineJohnny Depp
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Re: Top the fuck story above you [Re: CounterCulturest] * 2
    #19206622 - 11/29/13 09:51 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

.


Edited by Johnny Depp (12/19/14 05:50 PM)


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OfflineJesusIsLord
Jesus freak


Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 8,061
Last seen: 8 years, 8 months
Re: Top the fuck story above you [Re: Johnny Depp]
    #19206629 - 11/29/13 09:54 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Johnny Depp said:
You should've collected up the canibutter, cum, sweat and ass juice, and given it to some stoner fuck you hate for xmas.



you foul creature :canthelpbutlaugh:


--------------------


And I will bring you out from the people, and will gather you out of the countries wherein ye are scattered, with a mighty hand, and with a stretched out arm, and with fury poured out.


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Invisiblefee
Im he who is the
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Registered: 01/16/03
Posts: 18,238
Loc: amsterdam
Re: Top the fuck story above you [Re: JesusIsLord] * 8
    #19206668 - 11/29/13 10:03 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

:pedropussy:

Top that bitches


--------------------

blankk said to fee:
btw you're a total fucking psychedelic pimp
Turtletotem said:
I want to become a sun worshipper, so next time an atheist smugly asks me where god is, I can point smugly at the sun and laugh my ass off.

Then I drive away in my solar powered piece of shit car, cool stuff man.

And then I go kill a bitch because the flaming orb in the sky told me to do so, and I don't know, oppress a few minorities here and there in the name of nuclear fusion?

Religion is fun.


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InvisibleShroomopotamus
Happy Mushrooming
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Registered: 09/27/09
Posts: 18,757
Loc: Funkotron
Re: Top the fuck story above you [Re: fee]
    #19206672 - 11/29/13 10:05 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

I think we have a winner.


--------------------
*
Live by the mushroom, die by the mushroom
:mushroom2::rainbowdrink:
This is a trap! A trap! You are all busted! Busted! You fools!
:twirlyface:

If a time comes where I fail to appear I've been abducted and I will miss you all
Please smile and pet puppies as often as possible
Be happy
Be nice
(<3);}


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Offlinestarfire_xes
I Am 'They'
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Registered: 10/24/09
Posts: 21,590
Loc: Dallas with all the assho...
Last seen: 7 months, 1 day
Re: Top the fuck story above you [Re: Shroomopotamus]
    #19206738 - 11/29/13 10:25 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

An airforce guy was fucking a chick in the back room of a house at a party I was at, she had the shits and accidentally chocolate coated him. 

From then on, she was affectionately known as shitty shirley.


--------------------
:smug: [/url][/url] 
:smirk: IF THE NEIGHBORS COMPLAIN BECAUSE THE MUSIC'S TOO LOUD, TURN IT UP SO YOU CAN'T HEAR THEM BITCH    :smirk:


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InvisibleI_was_the_walrus
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Re: Top the fuck story above you [Re: Shroomopotamus]
    #19206756 - 11/29/13 10:30 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Hop in to the "dirtiest shit you've done sexually" thread in s&r. Shit gets real...


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Offlinehidenseek1
Its got all the dinks.
Registered: 12/22/12
Posts: 5,423
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Last seen: 6 years, 10 months
Re: Top the fuck story above you [Re: I_was_the_walrus]
    #19206785 - 11/29/13 10:36 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)



--------------------
You can drink at 7 A.M., because the Beastie Boys fought for that right
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
pons asinorum
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
lsd and the vietnam war changed music forever


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Invisiblethizzlemaniac
राम राम
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Registered: 03/27/12
Posts: 2,240
Re: Top the fuck story above you [Re: starfire_xes]
    #19206951 - 11/29/13 11:37 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

starfire_xes said:
An airforce guy was fucking a chick in the back room of a house at a party I was at, she had the shits and accidentally chocolate coated him. 

From then on, she was affectionately known as shitty shirley.




:laugh2:


--------------------
Hi how are you? How high are you?



:aum:


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OfflineAcaterpillar
A little mad...
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Registered: 06/09/07
Posts: 18,693
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Re: Top the fuck story above you [Re: thizzlemaniac]
    #19207086 - 11/30/13 12:49 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

I want to participate but I feel like I'd degrade my image if I divulged.


--------------------
Aaa...E I O Uuu...A E I O Uuu..A E I O uh Uuu..
*Cough* *Cough*
Ooo...U E I O Aaa...U E I Aaa..A E I O Uuuuu...

At first sight, The Perfection of Wisdom is bewildering, full of paradox and apparent irrationality.


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Offlinesonamdrukpa
Wayfarer


Registered: 10/18/11
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Re: Top the fuck story above you [Re: thizzlemaniac]
    #19207087 - 11/30/13 12:49 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)



--------------------


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OfflineAcaterpillar
A little mad...
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Registered: 06/09/07
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Re: Top the fuck story above you [Re: sonamdrukpa]
    #19207094 - 11/30/13 12:54 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

sonamdrukpa said:
From erowid:

Cunt Odyssey: Search for Vaginal Datapoints



Are you saying you participated in that report?


--------------------
Aaa...E I O Uuu...A E I O Uuu..A E I O uh Uuu..
*Cough* *Cough*
Ooo...U E I O Aaa...U E I Aaa..A E I O Uuuuu...

At first sight, The Perfection of Wisdom is bewildering, full of paradox and apparent irrationality.


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Invisiblefee
Im he who is the
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Registered: 01/16/03
Posts: 18,238
Loc: amsterdam
Re: Top the fuck story above you [Re: sonamdrukpa]
    #19207096 - 11/30/13 12:54 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Yeah we are talking about thing you did not some bullshit you read online.


--------------------

blankk said to fee:
btw you're a total fucking psychedelic pimp
Turtletotem said:
I want to become a sun worshipper, so next time an atheist smugly asks me where god is, I can point smugly at the sun and laugh my ass off.

Then I drive away in my solar powered piece of shit car, cool stuff man.

And then I go kill a bitch because the flaming orb in the sky told me to do so, and I don't know, oppress a few minorities here and there in the name of nuclear fusion?

Religion is fun.


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Offlinekoods
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Posts: 106,050
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Re: Top the fuck story above you [Re: Acaterpillar]
    #19207118 - 11/30/13 01:07 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Acaterpillar said:
I want to participate but I feel like I'd degrade my image if I divulged.




Go post anon in the dirtiest thing thread, then PM your number to those you trust.

Ps. Never trust anyone


--------------------
NotSheekle said
“if I believed she was 16 I would become unattracted to her”


Edited by koods (11/30/13 01:07 AM)


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Invisiblefee
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Registered: 01/16/03
Posts: 18,238
Loc: amsterdam
Re: Top the fuck story above you [Re: koods]
    #19207121 - 11/30/13 01:09 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

koods said:
Quote:

Acaterpillar said:
I want to participate but I feel like I'd degrade my image if I divulged.




Go post anon in the dirtiest thing thread, then PM your number to those you trust.

Ps. Never trust anyone





Yeah those you trust to copy and paste here with your real sn.

So yeah pm me your anonymous #, you can trust me :wink:


--------------------

blankk said to fee:
btw you're a total fucking psychedelic pimp
Turtletotem said:
I want to become a sun worshipper, so next time an atheist smugly asks me where god is, I can point smugly at the sun and laugh my ass off.

Then I drive away in my solar powered piece of shit car, cool stuff man.

And then I go kill a bitch because the flaming orb in the sky told me to do so, and I don't know, oppress a few minorities here and there in the name of nuclear fusion?

Religion is fun.


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InvisibleInsidious
Stranger
Male

Registered: 11/14/13
Posts: 43
Loc: Ontario Flag
Re: Top the fuck story above you [Re: fee] * 1
    #19208739 - 11/30/13 02:01 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

There is this bar in a tiny beach town that gets pretty bumping on long weekends.. This happened about 5 years ago just before pressed rolls took a nose dive.. I'm on 3 yellow diesels and it is getting hottttt in there, I head over to the beach and strip down.. As I'm heading out of the water I notice this dark shadow under some trees about 30 ft from where I left my clothes... I'm rolling pretty hard and drunk so I'm feeling pretty fearless I go over to check it out..

Turns out it's two people having sex on the beach, I'm not sure when they noticed me, but I'm pretty sure they knew I was there the whole time.. I was just about to go back and put some clothes on, when the girl calls out "hey you, you like watching? Come here!" They're both looking at me and have stopped fucking, so I go over and they go back to banging.

It was a warm night and maybe the E was keeping me warm, but I didn't feel nearly as cold as I would have after a midnight swim.. Now this couple going at it were both pretty attractive she had dirty blonde hair past her shoulders, pretty blue eyes, nice body, not skin and bones but not fat either, big B/small C tits that bounced just right as buddy fucked her.. Now watching them fuck is getting me pretty turned on and this girl notices, she's looking up at me and I know it's on.. I'm already hard and get down on my knees and she starts sucking..

The other guy finished up and she gets on her knees and points her nice little ass at me.. I go at it and she teases the other guy I miraculously finish on her back (E makes it so hard for me to finish) I put some clothes on and we smoked a joint and I went back to the bar with a huge smile on my face and found my friends... I always have the most random adventures when I'm rolling!


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OfflineAcaterpillar
A little mad...
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Re: Top the fuck story above you [Re: Insidious]
    #19209337 - 11/30/13 05:16 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

That's quite the story. I think it does a good job of topping the previous one. :yesnod:


--------------------
Aaa...E I O Uuu...A E I O Uuu..A E I O uh Uuu..
*Cough* *Cough*
Ooo...U E I O Aaa...U E I Aaa..A E I O Uuuuu...

At first sight, The Perfection of Wisdom is bewildering, full of paradox and apparent irrationality.


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InvisibleV1rusH0st
¸.♥´´¯`•.¸¸.ღƸ̵Ӝ̵Ʒ
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Registered: 07/02/13
Posts: 900
Loc: Hyperspace
Re: Top the fuck story above you [Re: Insidious]
    #19209360 - 11/30/13 05:25 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Insidious said:dirty story



The dirtiest part of this is doing a chick just seconds after another dude finished doing her. Unless he nutted elsewhere I wouldn't go near that vagina. I am scared to death of other men's semen.

edit: If I was high on E and some hot chick offered was nobbin me then offered me sex, I don't know...I might just get over that fear really damn quickly.

edit edit: I can't really think of a super dirty story. I had this girlfriend that was just a complete freak. She liked me to fuck her in the ass then put my dick in her mouth. She liked me to put a belt around her neck and pull on it choking her when fucking her from behind. And she would stick fingers in her ass and put them in her own mouth haha. What a little freak she was. 5 foot tall too. Little spinner.

Another time I was having a fling with this girl and was just hittin it pretty hard and her legs were up in the air. And I was just stabbing away and came out of her vagina and on the next thrust I ended up burying it in her butt all the way to the hilt. She screamed and ran to the bathroom. She came back out a few minutes later and announced that her butthole was bleeding. I felt pretty bad.


--------------------

"They are trained to believe, not to know. Belief can be manipulated. Only knowledge is dangerous." Frank Herbert


Edited by V1rusH0st (11/30/13 05:33 PM)


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InvisibleInsidious
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Re: Top the fuck story above you [Re: V1rusH0st]
    #19209372 - 11/30/13 05:31 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Neither of us nutted inside, I really regretted not wearing a condom.. Got checked liked right away, was okay, but definitely wouldn't have the balls to do that sober...


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InvisibleV1rusH0st
¸.♥´´¯`•.¸¸.ღƸ̵Ӝ̵Ʒ
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Posts: 900
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Re: Top the fuck story above you [Re: Insidious]
    #19209395 - 11/30/13 05:36 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Lol. That makes me feel better somehow.

Here's a story from when I was younger. My good buddy's older brother had this house party. His younger brother got down with some girl and ended up doing anal with her. A day goes by and he can't pee. He has to pee but he can't. By the next day he is in extreme distress and still can't pee so his mother takes him to the doctor. Ends up having a piece of corn (can't remember if it was a whole kernel or not) lodged in his urethra hahaha. How do you explain that to your mother?


--------------------

"They are trained to believe, not to know. Belief can be manipulated. Only knowledge is dangerous." Frank Herbert


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OfflineAcaterpillar
A little mad...
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Registered: 06/09/07
Posts: 18,693
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Re: Top the fuck story above you [Re: Insidious]
    #19209397 - 11/30/13 05:36 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Sometimes STDs take a while to show up. I probably would have done it too though, especially if I was rolling.

God I hate that feeling while you're waiting for your test results.


--------------------
Aaa...E I O Uuu...A E I O Uuu..A E I O uh Uuu..
*Cough* *Cough*
Ooo...U E I O Aaa...U E I Aaa..A E I O Uuuuu...

At first sight, The Perfection of Wisdom is bewildering, full of paradox and apparent irrationality.


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Invisiblefee
Im he who is the
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Registered: 01/16/03
Posts: 18,238
Loc: amsterdam
Re: Top the fuck story above you [Re: Insidious]
    #19209400 - 11/30/13 05:37 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Tl;dr has my fuck story been topped yet?


--------------------

blankk said to fee:
btw you're a total fucking psychedelic pimp
Turtletotem said:
I want to become a sun worshipper, so next time an atheist smugly asks me where god is, I can point smugly at the sun and laugh my ass off.

Then I drive away in my solar powered piece of shit car, cool stuff man.

And then I go kill a bitch because the flaming orb in the sky told me to do so, and I don't know, oppress a few minorities here and there in the name of nuclear fusion?

Religion is fun.


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Offlinehighc
creator
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Registered: 08/31/07
Posts: 3,592
Loc: maryland
Last seen: 7 years, 2 months
Re: Top the fuck story above you [Re: V1rusH0st]
    #19209404 - 11/30/13 05:38 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Hotel party. X girlfriend with 7 of her friends. Couple guys. They asked me to strip. Well my x did. I got naked.my x n her best is started playing with my dick. They took turns sucking it. Started getting naked and called the others. Only 1 other girl came. They started playing with eachothernd blowing me.then my x who was naked now layed me down n crawled on top of me while the other 2 girls fondled. She rides a Lil. Then I get her off look at her friend all sexy n bend her over. Hitting it hard. I look up n a 4 girl is rubbing herself in the corner while the other 3 n 2 guys go to another room.. I look right at the girl masturbating and say come get the real thing.. She says come give it to me. I ripped her clothes off put her legs up and made her moan tribal sounds.


--------------------


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InvisibleInsidious
Stranger
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Registered: 11/14/13
Posts: 43
Loc: Ontario Flag
Re: Top the fuck story above you [Re: fee]
    #19209451 - 11/30/13 05:50 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

fee said:
Tl;dr has my fuck story been topped yet?




Unless someone comes up with some pics I think you're good haha


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OfflineAcaterpillar
A little mad...
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Re: Top the fuck story above you [Re: Insidious]
    #19209470 - 11/30/13 05:58 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Just hypothetically speaking, but if I posted some videos and the girl didn't have any objections would I still possibly get in trouble for posting it?


--------------------
Aaa...E I O Uuu...A E I O Uuu..A E I O uh Uuu..
*Cough* *Cough*
Ooo...U E I O Aaa...U E I Aaa..A E I O Uuuuu...

At first sight, The Perfection of Wisdom is bewildering, full of paradox and apparent irrationality.


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InvisibleFruitOfLife
Professional Package Handler


Registered: 05/21/12
Posts: 4,832
Re: Top the fuck story above you [Re: Acaterpillar]
    #19209500 - 11/30/13 06:07 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

As long as she is ok with it then how would you get in trouble? Its just like posting any other porn


--------------------


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Invisiblefee
Im he who is the
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Registered: 01/16/03
Posts: 18,238
Loc: amsterdam
Re: Top the fuck story above you [Re: FruitOfLife]
    #19209615 - 11/30/13 06:30 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Not if you live in California and she is not your current gf


--------------------

blankk said to fee:
btw you're a total fucking psychedelic pimp
Turtletotem said:
I want to become a sun worshipper, so next time an atheist smugly asks me where god is, I can point smugly at the sun and laugh my ass off.

Then I drive away in my solar powered piece of shit car, cool stuff man.

And then I go kill a bitch because the flaming orb in the sky told me to do so, and I don't know, oppress a few minorities here and there in the name of nuclear fusion?

Religion is fun.


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OfflineDirtyTomFlint
( ಥـْـِـِـِـْಥ)
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Re: Top the fuck story above you [Re: sonamdrukpa]
    #19209641 - 11/30/13 06:35 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

sonamdrukpa said:
From erowid:

Cunt Odyssey: Search for Vaginal Datapoints




This is actually interesting lol


--------------------




Know Your Body, Know Your Mind, Know Your Substance, Know Your Source


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OfflineAcaterpillar
A little mad...
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Registered: 06/09/07
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Re: Top the fuck story above you [Re: fee]
    #19209870 - 11/30/13 07:32 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

fee said:
Not if you live in California and she is not your current gf



:lol:


--------------------
Aaa...E I O Uuu...A E I O Uuu..A E I O uh Uuu..
*Cough* *Cough*
Ooo...U E I O Aaa...U E I Aaa..A E I O Uuuuu...

At first sight, The Perfection of Wisdom is bewildering, full of paradox and apparent irrationality.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offlinekoods
Ribbit
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Registered: 05/26/11
Posts: 106,050
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Re: Top the fuck story above you [Re: Acaterpillar]
    #19209975 - 11/30/13 07:58 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Jus amazed you could stay hard rolling like that.


--------------------
NotSheekle said
“if I believed she was 16 I would become unattracted to her”


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Invisiblefee
Im he who is the
 User Gallery

Registered: 01/16/03
Posts: 18,238
Loc: amsterdam
Re: Top the fuck story above you [Re: Acaterpillar]
    #19210142 - 11/30/13 08:52 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Acaterpillar said:
Quote:

fee said:
Not if you live in California and she is not your current gf



:lol:





I didn't realize how bad that sounded coming from me.

I ha e not seen anything transpire from this law. I have heard the radio (npr) talk about how this single lady either got it passed or is signed in to pass that makes it a felony to post nudes of your ex online if said pics where taken during and not after the relationship and both parties resided in California when pics where taken  and where the origin ip where the pics posted are California. It excludes pics that had been made public during the relationship and posted under a mutual agreement.


The law does nothing for nude pics of men to be posted.


--------------------

blankk said to fee:
btw you're a total fucking psychedelic pimp
Turtletotem said:
I want to become a sun worshipper, so next time an atheist smugly asks me where god is, I can point smugly at the sun and laugh my ass off.

Then I drive away in my solar powered piece of shit car, cool stuff man.

And then I go kill a bitch because the flaming orb in the sky told me to do so, and I don't know, oppress a few minorities here and there in the name of nuclear fusion?

Religion is fun.


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InvisibleInsidious
Stranger
Male

Registered: 11/14/13
Posts: 43
Loc: Ontario Flag
Re: Top the fuck story above you [Re: koods]
    #19210660 - 11/30/13 11:42 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

koods said:
Jus amazed you could stay hard rolling like that.




Never had a problem getting or staying hard on drugs, finishing is the real challenge.. I try not to fap Thursday - Saturday to help...

This isn't my story, may not have even happened, but I thought it was pretty funny as a hypothetical, I have much more respect for women then to ever do this... It is called "The Rodeo" to do this you'll need; a friend, a hotel room with 2 beds and 2 ladies.. Bring the 2 girls back and start getting down, get to a point where the girls are both on top, when you're ready one of you needs to exclaim loudly "man these must be the two uglies/fattest/most disgusting broads we've ever banged" the other says "I was just thinking the same thing! RODEO!" You both then both try to hold your girl on as they struggle to get away.. Whoever keeps their's on the longest wins! - disclaimer, I've never done this and it could possibly be construed as rape, and at the very least it's very unethical and ignorant!


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Invisiblefee
Im he who is the
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Registered: 01/16/03
Posts: 18,238
Loc: amsterdam
Re: Top the fuck story above you [Re: Insidious]
    #19210876 - 12/01/13 12:51 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

It takes some serious forwplay but then it doesn't want or get wider for two or three hours


--------------------

blankk said to fee:
btw you're a total fucking psychedelic pimp
Turtletotem said:
I want to become a sun worshipper, so next time an atheist smugly asks me where god is, I can point smugly at the sun and laugh my ass off.

Then I drive away in my solar powered piece of shit car, cool stuff man.

And then I go kill a bitch because the flaming orb in the sky told me to do so, and I don't know, oppress a few minorities here and there in the name of nuclear fusion?

Religion is fun.


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OfflineJesusIsLord
Jesus freak


Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 8,061
Last seen: 8 years, 8 months
Re: Top the fuck story above you [Re: koods]
    #19210903 - 12/01/13 01:00 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

koods said:
Jus amazed you could stay hard rolling like that.



seriously?

it's pretty easy. booze on the other hand, not so much


--------------------


And I will bring you out from the people, and will gather you out of the countries wherein ye are scattered, with a mighty hand, and with a stretched out arm, and with fury poured out.


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InvisibleInsidious
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Registered: 11/14/13
Posts: 43
Loc: Ontario Flag
Re: Top the fuck story above you [Re: JesusIsLord]
    #19211024 - 12/01/13 01:41 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

My biggest boner killer came from a guilty conscience


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Offlinebroken
455 member(s)
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Registered: 09/07/10
Posts: 14,063
Loc: fuckyeah!
Last seen: 9 years, 7 months
Re: Top the fuck story above you [Re: Insidious]
    #19211070 - 12/01/13 02:07 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

me and a ex had a very loud threeway for hours, in the afternoon, while my roommate played GTA.
he was such a loser.


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:willynilly:


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InvisibleInsidious
Stranger
Male

Registered: 11/14/13
Posts: 43
Loc: Ontario Flag
Re: Top the fuck story above you [Re: Insidious]
    #19211151 - 12/01/13 03:34 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

I have another dirty sex story... I posted a Craigslist ad under the Men seeking Women (not the casual encounter section) you can read about it here in this ad i stated that I hadn't even so much as kissed a girl in almost a year (which was pretty close to truth) and I made a light hearted joke about being told I was attractive a bunch lately and that those compliments didn't just come from my mom or grandma.. well in the first couple days I got four responses, one just stated "I have no idea why it's been a year, you're hot! But I'm too old for you" I quickly fired back that age was just a number and that we should chat and I attached my phone number...

The next morning I get a text from a random number "Hey I'm Candy, I responded to your Craigslist ad" I mistook her for another girl who responded and that I gave my number to, but she seemed to be understanding of that.. We chat for a bit, she sends me a picture and she is older looking, but pretty. From her picture I thought she was 10 maybe 15 years older.. Now I really don't like to ask a woman her age, but I worked up the courage and did.. She was 49, 23 years older then me with a 20 year old son, but we continued chatting.. I asked if she'd like to meet for a drink and she said she would and that she'd be in the city later that day and maybe we could meet then.

She texts me as planned and picks me up at the Walmart plaza by my house. She's even prettier and younger looking in person, big beautiful blonde hair, pretty blue eyes, nice body, she's in good shape, has nice features, didn't look a day over 40, I'd guess 36-38 and I could tell she was a smoke show when she was younger, she's still pretty and takes care of herself..

We went to a local bar and have one drink, I can tell she's enjoying herself, but I don't really think much will come of it.. We leave the bar and she drives me back to my house. I'm about to get out when I think fuck it what do I have to lose, so I ask her if she'd like to come in, surprisingly she says sure! We get inside and my female roommate is watching TV and the other Asian girl is playing on the computer.. Crap, I didn't even have a TV yet down in my room and I don't think this lady wants to watch The Smurfs with my roommate. We head down to my room and I'm really wishing there was a TV down there, just something so she doesn't take one look and leave.

We get in there and she gets on my bed and I sit in my chair, the awkwardness is broken by her telling me to come sit beside her. I decided right there it's on! I sit beside her and without saying a word I kiss her.. We started making out and I take off her shirt and then her pants.. She has a sexy little pink thong on that I pull to the side and start eating her out.. I then pulled it off of her and put a finger and then 2 inside her.. She absolutely loves it and starts really pulling my head and pretty much suffocating me as she climaxes.. I strip down and she gave me some really good head going so deep that her nose would touch my pelvis. Absolutely no gag reflex! Her teeth did scrap my tip a couple times.. So I suit up and we start going at it, but the condom is just way to tight and it's hurting, she notices this is an issue and pulls it off, she says she's clean and asks if I am.. She gets on top and climaxes twice more.. She finishes me off with her mouth and swallows.. We were really loud, my bed is now in the middle of room...

It starts sinking in I just banged this random from CL who just did some crazy shit with me, a complete stranger, fuckiddy fuck fuck fuck, there's no way I'm the first stranger she's fucked bareback, better make an appointment at the public health clinic.. We talk and she tells me how she would love to take me home with her because she has arthritis from a motorcycle accident and I mentioned that I like giving massages.. As we're coming upstairs my roommates scurried into their rooms, great first impression I think to myself (been there less then make month).. They're both back in the living room when I get back in, I mutter a "sorry", the one girl acts coy and says "why are you sorry" the Asian girl blurts out "HA HA I know why he sorry!" I'm at a total loss for words.. So instead of hiding I own it and start watching whatever kids movie is now playing on TV haha...

I ended up spending the whole next weekend with her and we still talk, but haven't hooked up in a while.. That appointments coming up, I'm not too worried though, there's been no issues down there haha.. If you made it this far thanks for reading my story, (novel) I really enjoyed writing it :smile:

TL;DR
I met a 49 year old from Craigslist and banged her within an hour or so of meeting, I'm only 26...


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