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ModestMouse
IM WALKIN ON SUNSHINE


Registered: 05/06/13
Posts: 19,227
Loc: Upstate
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Ending the lies 2
#19201963 - 11/28/13 06:28 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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On Monday im going to tell my girlfriend the truth about how I fucked my ex while I was dating her (some may remember my morning after thread). I had previously only admitted to kissing her, out of sheer cowardice. It's gone to far though. She needs to know and im tired of living with this lie.
I just wanted to put this on the internet. No one else will care, but it's important to me. If anyone has any advice as to what to say, that'd be nice. Otherwise, carry on folks.
Sincerely, The retiring douchebag
-------------------- Anyone got a lowpass filter in this biiiiash?
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KingKnowledge
Around



Registered: 03/30/13
Posts: 2,876
Loc: East Coast
Last seen: 4 years, 7 months
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Good for you! It's gonna suck though...get ready.
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luvdemshrooms
Two inch dick..but it spins!?


Registered: 11/29/01
Posts: 34,247
Loc: Lost In Space
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I'm always amazed when people need to cause another person pain to ease their own.
-------------------- You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity by legislating the wealthy out of prosperity. What one person receives without working for another person must work for without receiving. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for that my dear friend is the beginning of the end of any nation. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it. ~ Adrian Rogers
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ModestMouse
IM WALKIN ON SUNSHINE


Registered: 05/06/13
Posts: 19,227
Loc: Upstate
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Quote:
luvdemshrooms said: I'm always amazed when people need to cause another person pain to ease their own.
Be more clear. Do you think i'm causing her pain by telling her? Because its more healthy to tell her then to avoid it.
-------------------- Anyone got a lowpass filter in this biiiiash?
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luvdemshrooms
Two inch dick..but it spins!?


Registered: 11/29/01
Posts: 34,247
Loc: Lost In Space
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It will ease your pain. It will cause her pain.
More healthy for you? Yup. For her? Possibly. Possibly not.
It is self-serving to hurt another to make yourself feel better.
-------------------- You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity by legislating the wealthy out of prosperity. What one person receives without working for another person must work for without receiving. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for that my dear friend is the beginning of the end of any nation. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it. ~ Adrian Rogers
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pslyke
fantasmagoric



Registered: 06/12/10
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Last seen: 21 minutes, 22 seconds
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Quote:
luvdemshrooms said: I'm always amazed when people need to cause another person pain to ease their own.
QFT!
-------------------- "What appears impenetrable to us does exist, manifesting itself in the deepest wisdom and the most radiant beauty" Einstein "The conservatives of 70 years ago would be outraged at what has come to pass. It embodies everything they took up arms for to defeat"Asante
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ModestMouse
IM WALKIN ON SUNSHINE


Registered: 05/06/13
Posts: 19,227
Loc: Upstate
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From a logical standpoint though, keeping this a secret for longer will hurt her more in the long run. I don't see what you're getting at?
-------------------- Anyone got a lowpass filter in this biiiiash?
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misterjingo
Divided by zero



Registered: 09/26/12
Posts: 669
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Why not keep it a secret and never tell her? Unless she's harassing you 24/7 for more info and doesn't believe it was just a kiss - I got to agree with the above. it'll make you feel better and her possibly like shit.
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KremrBigSikter
Spränger Språnger




Registered: 07/23/11
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Quote:
luvdemshrooms said: It is self-serving to hurt another to make yourself feel better.
I prefer being told the truth rather than a lie. I don't think I'm the only one.
-------------------- I have pneumonia
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luvdemshrooms
Two inch dick..but it spins!?


Registered: 11/29/01
Posts: 34,247
Loc: Lost In Space
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Quote:
KremrBigSikter said:
Quote:
luvdemshrooms said: It is self-serving to hurt another to make yourself feel better.
I prefer being told the truth rather than a lie. I don't think I'm the only one.
I do too, but the lies already been told. Now she'll be hurt by the cheating and by the lie.
Kick her while she's down.
Plus, we don't know if the GF would prefer the truth. Some people don't.
-------------------- You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity by legislating the wealthy out of prosperity. What one person receives without working for another person must work for without receiving. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for that my dear friend is the beginning of the end of any nation. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it. ~ Adrian Rogers
Edited by luvdemshrooms (11/28/13 06:44 PM)
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Icepic
Enlightenment seeking


Registered: 05/20/02
Posts: 1,374
Loc: Wild west
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Re: Ending the lies [Re: pslyke] 1
#19202058 - 11/28/13 06:46 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Tell her, you can work through anything in a relationship if both partners are honest with another. My wife had a one night stand off her bi-polar meds and drinking while taking klonopins, she told me 3 days later and we worked through it. I got all crashed out on gak and Oxycodone for a few months here not that long ago, and we worked through that. Tell her even if it hurts her, because it will hurt her a lot more when she finds out from someone else which will happen, it may be 10 years from now when your married with kids and now your losing your family over some shit you should have been honest about years ago. Ask yourself, if your with someone you can't be real with, then why are you with them, Anything you build with this girl is built on false pretenses, relationships like that fail.
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luvdemshrooms
Two inch dick..but it spins!?


Registered: 11/29/01
Posts: 34,247
Loc: Lost In Space
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Quote:
ModestMouse said: From a logical standpoint though, keeping this a secret for longer will hurt her more in the long run. I don't see what you're getting at?
How is her not knowing you cheated and lied going to hurt her more in the long run?
I don't believe hurting her to make yourself feel better is the right thing to do.
-------------------- You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity by legislating the wealthy out of prosperity. What one person receives without working for another person must work for without receiving. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for that my dear friend is the beginning of the end of any nation. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it. ~ Adrian Rogers
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KingKnowledge
Around



Registered: 03/30/13
Posts: 2,876
Loc: East Coast
Last seen: 4 years, 7 months
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Quote:
luvdemshrooms said:
Quote:
KremrBigSikter said:
Quote:
luvdemshrooms said: It is self-serving to hurt another to make yourself feel better.
I prefer being told the truth rather than a lie. I don't think I'm the only one.
I do too, but the lies already been told. Now she'll be hurt by the cheating and by the lie.
Kick her while she's down.
Plus, we don't know if the GF would prefer the truth. Some people don't.
It's a tough debate. Obviously the truth is the truth, and its good not to lie, but at the same time the truth can hurt.
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luvdemshrooms
Two inch dick..but it spins!?


Registered: 11/29/01
Posts: 34,247
Loc: Lost In Space
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Re: Ending the lies [Re: Icepic]
#19202070 - 11/28/13 06:49 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
Icepic said: Tell her, you can work through anything in a relationship if both partners are honest with another.
That is a huge generalization.
-------------------- You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity by legislating the wealthy out of prosperity. What one person receives without working for another person must work for without receiving. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for that my dear friend is the beginning of the end of any nation. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it. ~ Adrian Rogers
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Versicolor
♖♘♗♔♕♗♘♖



Registered: 05/04/11
Posts: 2,268
Loc:
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You should ask her, what pill she wants. 
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zZZz
jesus


Registered: 12/28/07
Posts: 33,478
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you shoulda done it when you told her you only kissed. now there's really no point in doing it unless just to relief your guilt..
i would tell her you are not worthy of her love and tell her she'd be better off with someone else. that way everyone gets hurt
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Hobozen


Registered: 11/03/11
Posts: 10,634
Loc:
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Quote:
Versicolor said: You should ask her, what pill she wants. 
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gzuf
٩(̾๏̮̮̃̾๏̃̾)۶



Registered: 07/13/09
Posts: 6,535
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Quote:
Plus, we don't know if the GF would prefer the truth. Some don't.
I mean, generally speaking, almost all people want to know if their partner has cheated on them - for sure. Your relationship will probably end but that's probably a good thing.
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luvdemshrooms
Two inch dick..but it spins!?


Registered: 11/29/01
Posts: 34,247
Loc: Lost In Space
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Re: Ending the lies [Re: gzuf]
#19202114 - 11/28/13 06:57 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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How did you reach the conclusion that "almost all people want to know if their partner has cheated on them"?
-------------------- You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity by legislating the wealthy out of prosperity. What one person receives without working for another person must work for without receiving. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for that my dear friend is the beginning of the end of any nation. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it. ~ Adrian Rogers
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Hobozen


Registered: 11/03/11
Posts: 10,634
Loc:
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Quote:
luvdemshrooms said: It will ease your pain. It will cause her pain.
More healthy for you? Yup. For her? Possibly. Possibly not.
It is self-serving to hurt another to make yourself feel better.
So what? This is life, people get hurt. Better to face the hard truth than to be living with secrets IMO.
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