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Offlinelonelypsychonaut
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Girl Situation (UPDATED!)
    #19196850 - 11/27/13 02:44 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

So basically I just want to lay out my plan and some questions I have so I can grasp my situation better.

So I met this girl back at the end of August. I really liked her back then, but there was a lot of weird negative shit going on so I go discouraged and I stopped trying and I stopped talking to her. This was around the end of September. About 2 or 3 weeks ago I started talking to her again because I realized how much I was thinking about her. So we've been texting a bit and I've seen her 3 or 4 times in the past 2 weeks, which is much better progress than when I first met her.

Now the problem. I still like this girl very much, but I'm having quite a hard time reading her. She hasn't turned me down yet when I've asked her to jam, and she usually answers my texts in friendly ways with smiley faces. So it all SEEMS good, but I'm starting to wonder what's really going on. She does usually seem to take a while to answer her texts, if she answers at all. She'll usually either answer me within 5 or 10 minutes, or she'll take a few hours. I don't know what it means when she takes so long to answer, especially over these last few days.

On Monday I texted her asking if she wanted to chill later at night and she said yes. I texted and called her later but she didn't respond for hours. She said sorry and claimed she was sleeping. I asked if she would make it up to me and no reply. The next day she texted me first (for the first time ever I think!) and she apologized again. I took a few hours to reply cause I was at school, but I did, but she never did after that. So I'm thinking I skip talking to her today and try again tomorrow, give her some space. But hopefully this doesn't mean anything bad...

I've also been trying to flirt with her but stay friendly so that she doesn't catch on to me, but I don't know how well it's working. I drew her a picture (it took me a couple days) and I gave it to her as a "gift" and she loved it. If she was telling the truth, I believe the picture is hanging on her wall now. I've been doing my best to talk to her just about anything and still make her smile and laugh, and it's been going well I think. All the times we have seen each other this past weeks we've been alone with each other, and it was never really awkward (not to me anyway) so there's a good sign.

Maybe I'm just being optimistic though, cause I'm seeing good signs, but bad ones too. This whole not responding to my texts thing makes me think I'm being clingy or annoying when I'm really not trying to be. Or that she's just not interested, which I really don't want to be the case. It just makes me worry, so I'm wondering what it means? I hope that she's just at work and that she's forgetting, or that she actually did fall asleep the other night.

She is also moving out of town soon, so I'm trying to establish some sort of relationship with her before she's gone. She'll only be going like 30 - 60 minutes away, so she'll still be within driving distance and it wouldn't be the end of the world. She's definitely worth it in my opinion. But this could also mean she could be hesitating with starting something like that because of the whole new change she's about to go through? I don't know, but it's not gonna stop me from trying.

I think I could be making it a bit obvious that I like her, so I figure I should just tell her how I feel straight up soon. I want to wait and chill with her  and get to know her a bit more before I do this, but I've talked to some girls and apparently they love it and think it's cute, so why not? Doesn't seem like too bad of an idea, it'll allow her to set things straight and it'll tell me if I'm wasting my time or not.

It's not very normal I guess, but I'm thinking of writing her a "letter", and in this "letter" I will describe all my feelings towards her. Like I said, I'm gonna wait a bit so it doesn't overwhelm her, but I feel like this is the best way possible for me to do this, and hear me out on this. If I try to SAY everything I want to, everything will be out of order and I'd leave things out and most of all I would be very afraid. If I WRITE everything out, it allows me to get more of my thoughts out in a more organized way. And how could she not appreciate the work? I'd also give it to her in person so that we can talk about it after she's read it.

So what do you think? Does my plan sound good? Should I add or take out or modify anything? Or does it seem like she doesn't have interest already at this point?

Help a confused guy out! :smile:


Edited by lonelypsychonaut (12/05/13 11:51 PM)


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OfflinePatlal
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Re: Girl Situation [Re: lonelypsychonaut]
    #19196873 - 11/27/13 02:51 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Can we have a TL;DR version?


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Offlinelonelypsychonaut
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Re: Girl Situation [Re: Patlal]
    #19197063 - 11/27/13 03:41 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Patlal said:
Can we have a TL;DR version?




I'd probably get better advice if you read the whole with thing, but sure I guess!

Basically I just wanna know how interested this girl is in me, and if her not answering her texts lately is a bad sign, and if I do decide to let her know how I feel about her soon, if and how I should do that.


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OfflinePatlal
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Re: Girl Situation [Re: lonelypsychonaut]
    #19197094 - 11/27/13 03:54 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

lonelypsychonaut said:
Quote:

Patlal said:
Can we have a TL;DR version?




I'd probably get better advice if you read the whole with thing, but sure I guess!

Basically I just wanna know how interested this girl is in me, and if her not answering her texts lately is a bad sign, and if I do decide to let her know how I feel about her soon, if and how I should do that.




One mistake most guys do (and end up regretting) is not asking out a girl directly so the could get a straight answer. That way you don't wonder for the rest of your life.

I haven't read the whole thing, but next time you meet the girl, ask her out on date. Would you like to out for coffee or dinner or whatever. Then once you're there, Ask her if she wants to go out with you/date.


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OfflinePatlal
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Re: Girl Situation [Re: Patlal]
    #19197115 - 11/27/13 03:58 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Ok I just read the whole thing. Don't write a letter saying everything you feel, that's just overwhelming. Imagine if a girl gave you a letter proclaiming her absolute love to you? Would be weird as fuck right?


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Offlinelonelypsychonaut
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Re: Girl Situation [Re: Patlal]
    #19197415 - 11/27/13 05:16 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Patlal said:
Ok I just read the whole thing. Don't write a letter saying everything you feel, that's just overwhelming. Imagine if a girl gave you a letter proclaiming her absolute love to you? Would be weird as fuck right?





Yea I guess you're right, I just have trouble talking about these things, but I see your point. But I think I'm in the half friendzone, half not, kind of area, so to me I feel like it's kinda weird to ask her on a date type thing without making it obvious. I dunno, she might think it's weird and shoot me down, but I actually was thinking I should take her for some ice cream or something next time I see her.

So should I wait and chill with her a few more times before I get personal and ask her? Or just go for it soon?

And what about the texting thing? What's going on there? It has me mad confused..


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InvisibleInsidious
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Re: Girl Situation [Re: lonelypsychonaut]
    #19197472 - 11/27/13 05:31 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

How did you meet this girl OP? How did the first interaction go? who initiated the conversation?


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Offlinelonelypsychonaut
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Re: Girl Situation [Re: Insidious]
    #19197538 - 11/27/13 05:49 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Insidious said:
How did you meet this girl OP? How did the first interaction go? who initiated the conversation?





I met her one random night in town. We were in a group so we didn't really talk too much to each other, just a few words. Honestly I don't really remember too well, she was on molly too so I bet she doesn't remember very well either. Other than that we only saw each other at a party and in a big group, and again not much conversation.

I kind of re-met her a couple weeks ago. I was having a smoke in the mcdonalds parking lot with a few buddies and she was in another group and she walked over with her friend. We said hi and talked about how we haven't seen in each other in a while and I bummed her a smoke. Later on that night though I texted her and told her we should hang out since we haven't in a while. She said yea so I met up with her later and we smoked together and just chilled for about an hour. It was nice! :smile:

Also something I might've left out. I was with one of this girl's friends on Monday. She needed a ride to the bus station so I drove her. She said something like "ou so you're going to see her later at night?" and I said yes and asked if that was weird. She said not really cause she has guys over at night too. Then I told her that she's snuck out to see me a couple times, including that first night I just mentioned, we jammed from like midnight to 2am, and she told me that that seems kinda weird cause she doesn't usually sneak out to see guys. She said she might have some interest in me. I don't know.

ugh what a mess I'm in  :facepalm:  ... where am I at with this girl?! Should I make a move of some sort?


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Re: Girl Situation [Re: lonelypsychonaut]
    #19197587 - 11/27/13 06:03 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

If I were you I would express to her that you do like her and want more than a friendship ASAP. She is probly waiting for you to make a move.

I remember I was in the same situation with this girl about a year ago and because I was too much of a pussy to make a move physically, I ended up getting friend zoned  :sad:  Looking back, all the signs were there that she just wanted me to kiss her already because she knew I liked her alot.

So basically text her you want to take her out on a DATE. If she says yes thats great, then you should at least try to kiss her that night. If she says no, say you understand and move on. If she keeps texting you, ignore her and if she asks whats up just say you want to be more than friends and you dont want to waste anymore time. More than likely she will change her mind and then...  :doggystyle:


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InvisibleInsidious
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Re: Girl Situation [Re: lonelypsychonaut]
    #19197944 - 11/27/13 07:19 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

lonelypsychonaut said:
Quote:

Insidious said:
How did you meet this girl OP? How did the first interaction go? who initiated the conversation?





I met her one random night in town. We were in a group so we didn't really talk too much to each other, just a few words. Honestly I don't really remember too well, she was on molly too so I bet she doesn't remember very well either. Other than that we only saw each other at a party and in a big group, and again not much conversation.

I kind of re-met her a couple weeks ago. I was having a smoke in the mcdonalds parking lot with a few buddies and she was in another group and she walked over with her friend. We said hi and talked about how we haven't seen in each other in a while and I bummed her a smoke. Later on that night though I texted her and told her we should hang out since we haven't in a while. She said yea so I met up with her later and we smoked together and just chilled for about an hour. It was nice! :smile:

Also something I might've left out. I was with one of this girl's friends on Monday. She needed a ride to the bus station so I drove her. She said something like "ou so you're going to see her later at night?" and I said yes and asked if that was weird. She said not really cause she has guys over at night too. Then I told her that she's snuck out to see me a couple times, including that first night I just mentioned, we jammed from like midnight to 2am, and she told me that that seems kinda weird cause she doesn't usually sneak out to see guys. She said she might have some interest in me. I don't know.

ugh what a mess I'm in  :facepalm:  ... where am I at with this girl?! Should I make a move of some sort?




Make a move, what's the worst that could happen? She says no, no big deal... I've never regretted being shut down, but I've regretted not making a move.. I agree with the above poster, other then ignoring her if she just wants to be friends, it's always good to have female friends and that one sounds pretty cool..  Plus she has other female friends, which are possibilities...


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Offlinelonelypsychonaut
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Re: Girl Situation [Re: FruitOfLife]
    #19197966 - 11/27/13 07:25 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

I'm pretty inexperienced with girls so I really don't know most of the signs I should be noticing, if they're even there..

So if I do ask her on a date or tell her I like her, what do I do if she says she just wants to be friends? Should I wait until the end of the night to avoid any post awkwardness? I mean, I should probably see what her mood is like right?

I'm gonna text her tomorrow to see if she wants to chill. I'll probably text her later on in the evening after all the business of the day. We'll probably sesh and if I have time I'll take her somewhere, and if it's alright to make the move I will. I was also thinking we could maybe go for a walk, that's never a bad idea.


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Re: Girl Situation [Re: lonelypsychonaut]
    #19198495 - 11/27/13 09:57 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

That sounds okay, but try your best not to chicken out when the time comes.. Look for things like maintained eye contact from her, look her in the eyes and gage her reaction and confidence... It may take a few tries if you're shy... If she touches you, tries to get close are both good signs.. I would look for these signs and towards the end of the hang out let the girl know you like hanging out with her and spending time with her, gage the reaction to that and go on to tell her you like her..


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Re: Girl Situation [Re: Insidious]
    #19199500 - 11/28/13 06:26 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Are you in high school OP? It sounds like you're in high school and writing a letter confessing your feelings really makes it sound like you're in high school.

My point. DON'T write a letter, if you want to go on a date with her, you ask her on a date IN PERSON. You literally have a 50% percent chance of getting a yes, maybe even more if she already kinda likes you.


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Invisibledeadwk
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Re: Girl Situation [Re: mushroom_sandwich]
    #19199824 - 11/28/13 08:44 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

If you write her a letter are you going to name it?
If you don't name it, she'll probably think you're creepy as fuck.

If you send her a letter there are two ways it will go down: She either finds it so fucking cute and adorable, and methaphorically jumps on your dick. Or thinks you're a loser and jumps on another dudes dick.


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Re: Girl Situation [Re: deadwk]
    #19199968 - 11/28/13 09:34 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

thedeadwalkk said:
If you send her a letter there are two ways it will go down: She either finds it so fucking cute and adorable, and methaphorically jumps on your dick. Or thinks you're a loser and jumps on another dudes dick.



And it will likely be the latter.  Writing someone you're not dating a letter like that is really weird and creepy.


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Re: Girl Situation [Re: pwnasaurus]
    #19199995 - 11/28/13 09:42 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

pwnasaurus said:
Quote:

thedeadwalkk said:
If you send her a letter there are two ways it will go down: She either finds it so fucking cute and adorable, and methaphorically jumps on your dick. Or thinks you're a loser and jumps on another dudes dick.



And it will likely be the latter.  Writing someone you're not dating a letter like that is really weird and creepy.



REALLY creepy


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Re: Girl Situation [Re: mushroom_sandwich]
    #19200034 - 11/28/13 09:57 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Next time you hang out, when the moment feels right, kiss her.  Letter == really creepy and weird.


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Offlinemushroom_sandwich
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Re: Girl Situation [Re: pwnasaurus]
    #19200145 - 11/28/13 10:23 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

or just ask her out on a fluffin date


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Offlinelonelypsychonaut
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Re: Girl Situation [Re: deadwk]
    #19200794 - 11/28/13 01:08 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

LOL OK THE LETTER THING WAS STUPID :lol:

Quote:

mushroom_sandwich said:
Are you in high school OP? It sounds like you're in high school and writing a letter confessing your feelings really makes it sound like you're in high school.

My point. DON'T write a letter, if you want to go on a date with her, you ask her on a date IN PERSON. You literally have a 50% percent chance of getting a yes, maybe even more if she already kinda likes you.





Yea, senior year, almost out of the god damn place.. but yea you're right. I need to man up here I guess.


Quote:

thedeadwalkk said:
She finds it so fucking cute and adorable, and methaphorically jumps on your dick.





This is what I was hoping for originally, but with crushes it's always wishful thinking, thanks for tuning me into reality everyone haha.

Hopefully I'll be seeing her tonight for a bit though, and when I do I'll see how it goes and update all of you. I think I'll keep it a bit subtle tonight since I haven't seen her in a week and when I texted her today she seemed stressed about something she needs to do later, but I'll see how it all goes.

Thanks everyone!


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OfflinePatlal
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Re: Girl Situation [Re: mushroom_sandwich]
    #19200865 - 11/28/13 01:25 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

mushroom_sandwich said:
Quote:

pwnasaurus said:
Quote:

thedeadwalkk said:
If you send her a letter there are two ways it will go down: She either finds it so fucking cute and adorable, and methaphorically jumps on your dick. Or thinks you're a loser and jumps on another dudes dick.



And it will likely be the latter.  Writing someone you're not dating a letter like that is really weird and creepy.



REALLY creepy




REALLY REALLY creepy


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Re: Girl Situation [Re: Patlal]
    #19201260 - 11/28/13 03:26 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Lol u guys make things so complicated just do whatever you wanna do whenever you wanna do it and hope everything turns out best


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Edited by Sheekle (11/28/13 03:26 PM)


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Re: Girl Situation [Re: Sheekle]
    #19210084 - 11/30/13 08:35 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

OP, I think you're living in a lot more tension about this girl, than you need to be, and letting her hotness give you delusions about her real value to you.

Consider how  you feel when dealing with her. Long waiting times on texts, not much actual hanging out, not much shooting the shit and being chill and spending quality time, and so on. If this were a friend, they'd be a shitty useless friend. Very low value in your life, not contributing shit.

Over these months you can now judge what kind of feelings you've associated with her. Not with what it could be, in theory, if things worked out, but in practice, what has every interaction with this girl lead to? Relaxation and good vibes, or insecurity, uncertainty, confusion and self-doubts?

Ponder this stuff for a bit, then see if this one is really worth your time. See if you really want to prolong this sort of interaction, to make it long term.

I for one have never see a girl that started with weeks / months of tension and bad vibes, and then magically switched to chill times. Even if you start something, that residual tension stays with you, fucking up the vibes constantly.

You have to give her some time & space to make a move towards you, if she wants to, or to go away as this isn't happening anyway. All the running after her is probably just wasted time and energy on your part.


--------------------
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and to hear what you hear, and did not hear it.
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Offlinelonelypsychonaut
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Re: Girl Situation [Re: Spacerific]
    #19213956 - 12/01/13 05:52 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Spacerific said:
OP, I think you're living in a lot more tension about this girl, than you need to be, and letting her hotness give you delusions about her real value to you.

Consider how  you feel when dealing with her. Long waiting times on texts, not much actual hanging out, not much shooting the shit and being chill and spending quality time, and so on. If this were a friend, they'd be a shitty useless friend. Very low value in your life, not contributing shit.

Over these months you can now judge what kind of feelings you've associated with her. Not with what it could be, in theory, if things worked out, but in practice, what has every interaction with this girl lead to? Relaxation and good vibes, or insecurity, uncertainty, confusion and self-doubts?

Ponder this stuff for a bit, then see if this one is really worth your time. See if you really want to prolong this sort of interaction, to make it long term.

I for one have never see a girl that started with weeks / months of tension and bad vibes, and then magically switched to chill times. Even if you start something, that residual tension stays with you, fucking up the vibes constantly.

You have to give her some time & space to make a move towards you, if she wants to, or to go away as this isn't happening anyway. All the running after her is probably just wasted time and energy on your part.





I think I am too. The thing is, I feel confused and self doubting when I'm not with her, but as soon as I am I couldn't be happier, it's just getting there that's the problem since I can never know what she's thinking and she's kind of hard to get at contact wise.

The starting of our thing was bad vibes cause I barely got to see her and she also fucked one of my friends at a party when I had only recently met her and she didn't know I like her. But it's been better cause we've been hanging out alone unlike before, and we both seem to have a good time. But now I think she kinda knows and I think she might be backing off a bit. I dunno, I only talked to her on friday, and not for the rest of the weekend.

I would give her space for herself, but if I do for too long and she doesn't talk to me ever again that would suck. But at the same time I feel like I'm bugging her from texting her too often. I'll probably wait a few more days before I text her again, she may text me back on the random just to see if I wanna chill.

ugh, how do I fix this ... I'm losing her for the second time and she's moving away soon :frown:


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Re: Girl Situation [Re: lonelypsychonaut]
    #19214446 - 12/01/13 07:53 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

living inside your own head sucks. you need to make your intentions/desires clear so you can be happy or move one. from the way you talk about this girl it also sounds like you want to be in a committed relationship. If she doesn't she still might wanna just fuck, but you will scare her off if you can't stop thinking about the relationship that might be.


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Re: Girl Situation [Re: JPDancer]
    #19234579 - 12/05/13 11:50 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

UPDATE!

Ok so today I was feeling bold and I decided to make a move. Some shit went down with me today so she texted me asking if I was alright. That right there shows she was concerned!

I told her I'd tell her what happened, and I'll need to tell her some other things as well. She told me to go for it and I poured my heart out to her. I started off by apologizing to her by doing it over text but in the circumstances theres no way I can get to her for a while probably. I told her I liked her and a whole bunch of cheesy, flattering stuff. I told her that I don't like games and I'd rather just be straight forward with her.

She replied that she was flattered and that it meant a lot, but she seems confused about what she wants or if she even wants anything right now. She suggested that maybe we hang out more or go on a date next time we see each other to try this out, but she said she isn;t promising anything so I shouldn't get my hopes up cause it'll be my own fault if I get hurt, but she said she's open minded and willing to try it.

I finally got my chance I think! She also complimented me. I think she at least generally has interest for me, and now that we're both more on the same page I think I can feel a lot more comfortable about a date or hanging out. I sent her another paragraph but I think she fell asleep so I think she's gonna respond tomorrow morning. I'm super excited and happy that this is starting to work for me.



What do you guys think? I did good?  :datass:


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Invisiblepwnasaurus
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Re: Girl Situation [Re: lonelypsychonaut]
    #19234609 - 12/06/13 12:03 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

No.  I think you did terribly to be honest.  You admitted you liked her over text and then gave her a bunch of cheesy compliments without actually seeing her or kissing her or anything.

I think you have a very low chance of moving things forward at this point.  There's going to be some weird tension the next time you see her because you've laid all your cards on the table but didn't change the dynamic of your relationship whatsoever in the process.

I'm not trying to deflate your sails or anything, so don't take it that way.  It's just my outsider's perspective of the situation.


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OfflineSpacerific
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Re: Girl Situation [Re: lonelypsychonaut]
    #19235062 - 12/06/13 03:23 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Talk is cheap, text is cheaper. What actually matters is time spent in person, skin contact, laughs had and fun times shared.

Measure this over the following weeks:

- Is she spending time with you?
- Is she calling you? (I mean voice not gay ass texts, which is for nerds anyway)
- Does she respond to skin contact? (if you're clueless at this part it's all downhill from here)

From the sound of it you're a bit needy, and you probably express this fact in no uncertain terms toward this girl. This is obviously an extreme turn off. It's a lot like someone trying to sell you a house, for shelter, but the house doesn't stay upright by itself, you have to actually support its walls for you to have a house, or it will all crumble. YOu'll find that only the most desperate of homeless people will go for that deal, and even those won't stay there for long.

Try to remember that metaphor. As a man, you're shelter. The girl is on a stormy field seeking quality shelter. Your walls and doors and windows WILL be tested, and if they prove weak and useless, the girl will move on. Some guys are awesome castles with fantastic rooms inside, full of art and music and awesome, others are tiny broken down cottages with rats and cockroaches and empty boring rooms. It's an even playing field, what you have on the inside attracts (or doesn't attract) a certain quality of woman in your life.

Now you can answer for yourself, did you do good with the texts and getting the girl concerned?

What are your chances of moving into a building you're concerned about?



Not trying to bring you down, I'm just laying it out as it is. Fix your shit then call the girl, not the other way around.

Quote:


The thing is, I feel confused and self doubting when I'm not with her, but as soon as I am I couldn't be happier



This right here. Walls crumbling. Your own inner rats and cockroaches gnawing at your insides, and you're expecting some new tennant to come fix your shit, because you can't be bothered to fix it yourself, or don't know how.

By all means do try to pick this girl up from this position, I've tried as well, many times, and not once have I seen it work. I hope she's a crackhead and you have an ample supply of crack :lol:


--------------------
Blessed are your eyes because they see, and your ears because they hear.



For truly, I say to you, many prophets and righteous people longed to see what you see, and did not see it,
and to hear what you hear, and did not hear it.
- Matthew 13:16


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OfflinePatlal
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Re: Girl Situation [Re: lonelypsychonaut]
    #19235582 - 12/06/13 09:02 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

lonelypsychonaut said:
UPDATE!

Ok so today I was feeling bold and I decided to make a move. Some shit went down with me today so she texted me asking if I was alright. That right there shows she was concerned!

I told her I'd tell her what happened, and I'll need to tell her some other things as well. She told me to go for it and I poured my heart out to her. I started off by apologizing to her by doing it over text but in the circumstances theres no way I can get to her for a while probably. I told her I liked her and a whole bunch of cheesy, flattering stuff. I told her that I don't like games and I'd rather just be straight forward with her.

She replied that she was flattered and that it meant a lot, but she seems confused about what she wants or if she even wants anything right now. She suggested that maybe we hang out more or go on a date next time we see each other to try this out, but she said she isn;t promising anything so I shouldn't get my hopes up cause it'll be my own fault if I get hurt, but she said she's open minded and willing to try it.

I finally got my chance I think! She also complimented me. I think she at least generally has interest for me, and now that we're both more on the same page I think I can feel a lot more comfortable about a date or hanging out. I sent her another paragraph but I think she fell asleep so I think she's gonna respond tomorrow morning. I'm super excited and happy that this is starting to work for me.



What do you guys think? I did good?  :datass:




I don't know man. When a girl says that she doesn't know what she wants like that it sounds exactly like "it's not you, it's me".

There are things that should only be done in person and that is one of them. Texting gave her the chance to properly phrase what she anted to say in the nicest way possible. In person, you can't do that.

Best of luck to you.


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Offlinelonelypsychonaut
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Re: Girl Situation [Re: Patlal]
    #19236841 - 12/06/13 02:25 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Well now I don't know what to think lol.

The texts seemed pretty good to me. I didn't wanna do it over text, I probably should've called her, but yesterday was really fucked up so I kinda just did it without thinking too much. But there are a lot of good signs to me, she said what I said was really sweet and it meant a lot and we should try going on a date, she only said that she doesn't know what she wants right now and it takes her time with deciding because she overthinks and second guesses her self.

I feel like she's giving me the chance that I've been asking for! We'll have to see how everything goes next time I see her in person, but now I know that she at least generally likes me and has interest so now I feel more comfortable with things like flirting and touching because I know she's alright with it.

Even if you al don't think so, this has to be a little bit good ..


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OfflineSpacerific
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Re: Girl Situation [Re: lonelypsychonaut]
    #19236948 - 12/06/13 02:53 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Ya dude, give it your best shot. Until then make sure you take some time to exercise and sleep well, get your body and mind working right. It really helps prevent overthinking, if you're active and outdoors.

Then do your best once you meet, and may the chips fall where they may.


--------------------
Blessed are your eyes because they see, and your ears because they hear.



For truly, I say to you, many prophets and righteous people longed to see what you see, and did not see it,
and to hear what you hear, and did not hear it.
- Matthew 13:16


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Offlinelonelypsychonaut
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Re: Girl Situation [Re: Spacerific]
    #19237146 - 12/06/13 03:42 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Spacerific said:
Ya dude, give it your best shot.

do your best once you meet, and may the chips fall where they may.





Exactly! I don't really want a relationship with this girl unless it's what we both want. I wanted was a chance, and now I have it. Now that I do have it I'm gonna do my best to make the best out of it cause I don't get chances like this often at all, plus I really like her lol.

Any suggestions for a first date or things I should do on a first date? I was thinking ice cream and a walk maybe? That way I can take her somewhere and treat her to something and also have an activity after for talking and holding hands and stuff. I dunno, just an idea.


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OfflineSpacerific
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Re: Girl Situation [Re: lonelypsychonaut]
    #19241139 - 12/07/13 02:14 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Dude I would say head over to youtube and start watching more RSD Julien, or your other, favorite PUA material. It's good to brush up on that stuff, to keep things chill.

Have a few locations ready and already pre-visited, ice cream pre-tested for quality and stuff, because it's important for you to be comfy at the location. If you know a few places, you can spontaneously decide for one, and keep the plan loose. Know more than one place, to have options and not have to worry about it.

Don't be gay/creepy about holding hands, in the sense that don't start with it. In fact don't even hold hands before kissing the girl. Go for chill and playful at first, break the ice. Play with the girl's skin in a non-erotic manner at first, that goes a long way. Be prepared to do NOTHING on the first date, in the sense that no kiss close, no hand holding, nothing needy on your part, unless things actually develop that way. Show up, shoot the shit, be your awesome self as you would with your dude friends. Talk about shit you know about. Except psychs and masturbation :rofl:

Make sure you're mentally and physically active before meeting the girl. That is, go out walk around a bit get some fresh air, and call some dude friends and shoot the shit with them for a bit. Voice or in person, not text obviously. Best if you're already in a great mood, not expecting the girl to put you in one.

Try to have other shit planned for after the "date" thing. This way you can mention it to her, maybe she wants to come along, and more importantly, will prevent you going home alone and spend many gay hours thinking about how dreamy this girl is, thus turning into a complete wuss about her.

If you're one of "those" people that can't be bothered to view PUA stuff because <insert reasons here>, then awesome, looking forward to updates of your failures. Post it all here for amusement and lulz value :lol:


--------------------
Blessed are your eyes because they see, and your ears because they hear.



For truly, I say to you, many prophets and righteous people longed to see what you see, and did not see it,
and to hear what you hear, and did not hear it.
- Matthew 13:16


Edited by Spacerific (12/07/13 02:18 PM)


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Offlinelonelypsychonaut
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Re: Girl Situation [Re: Spacerific]
    #19245582 - 12/08/13 03:29 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Spacerific said:
Dude I would say head over to youtube and start watching more RSD Julien, or your other, favorite PUA material. It's good to brush up on that stuff, to keep things chill.





Hm, I've never heard of this stuff before, but I'm checking it out now it seems awesome! Also, very helpful advice! Thank you :smile:


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InvisibleFruitOfLife
Professional Package Handler


Registered: 05/21/12
Posts: 4,832
Re: Girl Situation [Re: lonelypsychonaut]
    #19245597 - 12/08/13 03:31 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Seriously, do not read too much into the whole PUA stuff. Some of it in theory works but for the most part its useless and makes you over think things like you are already doing, no offense


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