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InvisibleSheekle
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Registered: 01/11/10
Posts: 53,153
Re: Girl Situation [Re: Patlal]
    #19201260 - 11/28/13 03:26 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Lol u guys make things so complicated just do whatever you wanna do whenever you wanna do it and hope everything turns out best


--------------------
"Ur cat died because he hated u" - Koods
"I hope JSB kicks your ass one day." - Vandago
"you are the biggest 'internet guy' I have ever come across"- Jokeshopbeard
"The more I see you post the more I realize you're just this fuckin tie dye loser who trolls the Shroomery 24/7." - Herbologist
"Sheekle you cannot vile the dice of bullshit you have posted on this forum over the years, I like databases" - thelastoneleft
"or maybe i just come from a blood line of superior intelligence" - trees

R.I.P Kelsy, ?/?/?? - 6/11/16


Edited by Sheekle (11/28/13 03:26 PM)


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OfflineSpacerific
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Re: Girl Situation [Re: Sheekle]
    #19210084 - 11/30/13 08:35 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

OP, I think you're living in a lot more tension about this girl, than you need to be, and letting her hotness give you delusions about her real value to you.

Consider how  you feel when dealing with her. Long waiting times on texts, not much actual hanging out, not much shooting the shit and being chill and spending quality time, and so on. If this were a friend, they'd be a shitty useless friend. Very low value in your life, not contributing shit.

Over these months you can now judge what kind of feelings you've associated with her. Not with what it could be, in theory, if things worked out, but in practice, what has every interaction with this girl lead to? Relaxation and good vibes, or insecurity, uncertainty, confusion and self-doubts?

Ponder this stuff for a bit, then see if this one is really worth your time. See if you really want to prolong this sort of interaction, to make it long term.

I for one have never see a girl that started with weeks / months of tension and bad vibes, and then magically switched to chill times. Even if you start something, that residual tension stays with you, fucking up the vibes constantly.

You have to give her some time & space to make a move towards you, if she wants to, or to go away as this isn't happening anyway. All the running after her is probably just wasted time and energy on your part.


--------------------
Blessed are your eyes because they see, and your ears because they hear.



For truly, I say to you, many prophets and righteous people longed to see what you see, and did not see it,
and to hear what you hear, and did not hear it.
- Matthew 13:16


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Offlinelonelypsychonaut
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Re: Girl Situation [Re: Spacerific]
    #19213956 - 12/01/13 05:52 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Spacerific said:
OP, I think you're living in a lot more tension about this girl, than you need to be, and letting her hotness give you delusions about her real value to you.

Consider how  you feel when dealing with her. Long waiting times on texts, not much actual hanging out, not much shooting the shit and being chill and spending quality time, and so on. If this were a friend, they'd be a shitty useless friend. Very low value in your life, not contributing shit.

Over these months you can now judge what kind of feelings you've associated with her. Not with what it could be, in theory, if things worked out, but in practice, what has every interaction with this girl lead to? Relaxation and good vibes, or insecurity, uncertainty, confusion and self-doubts?

Ponder this stuff for a bit, then see if this one is really worth your time. See if you really want to prolong this sort of interaction, to make it long term.

I for one have never see a girl that started with weeks / months of tension and bad vibes, and then magically switched to chill times. Even if you start something, that residual tension stays with you, fucking up the vibes constantly.

You have to give her some time & space to make a move towards you, if she wants to, or to go away as this isn't happening anyway. All the running after her is probably just wasted time and energy on your part.





I think I am too. The thing is, I feel confused and self doubting when I'm not with her, but as soon as I am I couldn't be happier, it's just getting there that's the problem since I can never know what she's thinking and she's kind of hard to get at contact wise.

The starting of our thing was bad vibes cause I barely got to see her and she also fucked one of my friends at a party when I had only recently met her and she didn't know I like her. But it's been better cause we've been hanging out alone unlike before, and we both seem to have a good time. But now I think she kinda knows and I think she might be backing off a bit. I dunno, I only talked to her on friday, and not for the rest of the weekend.

I would give her space for herself, but if I do for too long and she doesn't talk to me ever again that would suck. But at the same time I feel like I'm bugging her from texting her too often. I'll probably wait a few more days before I text her again, she may text me back on the random just to see if I wanna chill.

ugh, how do I fix this ... I'm losing her for the second time and she's moving away soon :frown:


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OfflineJPDancer
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Registered: 07/03/13
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Re: Girl Situation [Re: lonelypsychonaut]
    #19214446 - 12/01/13 07:53 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

living inside your own head sucks. you need to make your intentions/desires clear so you can be happy or move one. from the way you talk about this girl it also sounds like you want to be in a committed relationship. If she doesn't she still might wanna just fuck, but you will scare her off if you can't stop thinking about the relationship that might be.


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Offlinelonelypsychonaut
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Re: Girl Situation [Re: JPDancer]
    #19234579 - 12/05/13 11:50 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

UPDATE!

Ok so today I was feeling bold and I decided to make a move. Some shit went down with me today so she texted me asking if I was alright. That right there shows she was concerned!

I told her I'd tell her what happened, and I'll need to tell her some other things as well. She told me to go for it and I poured my heart out to her. I started off by apologizing to her by doing it over text but in the circumstances theres no way I can get to her for a while probably. I told her I liked her and a whole bunch of cheesy, flattering stuff. I told her that I don't like games and I'd rather just be straight forward with her.

She replied that she was flattered and that it meant a lot, but she seems confused about what she wants or if she even wants anything right now. She suggested that maybe we hang out more or go on a date next time we see each other to try this out, but she said she isn;t promising anything so I shouldn't get my hopes up cause it'll be my own fault if I get hurt, but she said she's open minded and willing to try it.

I finally got my chance I think! She also complimented me. I think she at least generally has interest for me, and now that we're both more on the same page I think I can feel a lot more comfortable about a date or hanging out. I sent her another paragraph but I think she fell asleep so I think she's gonna respond tomorrow morning. I'm super excited and happy that this is starting to work for me.



What do you guys think? I did good?  :datass:


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Invisiblepwnasaurus
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Re: Girl Situation [Re: lonelypsychonaut]
    #19234609 - 12/06/13 12:03 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

No.  I think you did terribly to be honest.  You admitted you liked her over text and then gave her a bunch of cheesy compliments without actually seeing her or kissing her or anything.

I think you have a very low chance of moving things forward at this point.  There's going to be some weird tension the next time you see her because you've laid all your cards on the table but didn't change the dynamic of your relationship whatsoever in the process.

I'm not trying to deflate your sails or anything, so don't take it that way.  It's just my outsider's perspective of the situation.


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OfflineSpacerific
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Re: Girl Situation [Re: lonelypsychonaut]
    #19235062 - 12/06/13 03:23 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Talk is cheap, text is cheaper. What actually matters is time spent in person, skin contact, laughs had and fun times shared.

Measure this over the following weeks:

- Is she spending time with you?
- Is she calling you? (I mean voice not gay ass texts, which is for nerds anyway)
- Does she respond to skin contact? (if you're clueless at this part it's all downhill from here)

From the sound of it you're a bit needy, and you probably express this fact in no uncertain terms toward this girl. This is obviously an extreme turn off. It's a lot like someone trying to sell you a house, for shelter, but the house doesn't stay upright by itself, you have to actually support its walls for you to have a house, or it will all crumble. YOu'll find that only the most desperate of homeless people will go for that deal, and even those won't stay there for long.

Try to remember that metaphor. As a man, you're shelter. The girl is on a stormy field seeking quality shelter. Your walls and doors and windows WILL be tested, and if they prove weak and useless, the girl will move on. Some guys are awesome castles with fantastic rooms inside, full of art and music and awesome, others are tiny broken down cottages with rats and cockroaches and empty boring rooms. It's an even playing field, what you have on the inside attracts (or doesn't attract) a certain quality of woman in your life.

Now you can answer for yourself, did you do good with the texts and getting the girl concerned?

What are your chances of moving into a building you're concerned about?



Not trying to bring you down, I'm just laying it out as it is. Fix your shit then call the girl, not the other way around.

Quote:


The thing is, I feel confused and self doubting when I'm not with her, but as soon as I am I couldn't be happier



This right here. Walls crumbling. Your own inner rats and cockroaches gnawing at your insides, and you're expecting some new tennant to come fix your shit, because you can't be bothered to fix it yourself, or don't know how.

By all means do try to pick this girl up from this position, I've tried as well, many times, and not once have I seen it work. I hope she's a crackhead and you have an ample supply of crack :lol:


--------------------
Blessed are your eyes because they see, and your ears because they hear.



For truly, I say to you, many prophets and righteous people longed to see what you see, and did not see it,
and to hear what you hear, and did not hear it.
- Matthew 13:16


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OfflinePatlal
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Registered: 10/09/10
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Re: Girl Situation [Re: lonelypsychonaut]
    #19235582 - 12/06/13 09:02 AM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

lonelypsychonaut said:
UPDATE!

Ok so today I was feeling bold and I decided to make a move. Some shit went down with me today so she texted me asking if I was alright. That right there shows she was concerned!

I told her I'd tell her what happened, and I'll need to tell her some other things as well. She told me to go for it and I poured my heart out to her. I started off by apologizing to her by doing it over text but in the circumstances theres no way I can get to her for a while probably. I told her I liked her and a whole bunch of cheesy, flattering stuff. I told her that I don't like games and I'd rather just be straight forward with her.

She replied that she was flattered and that it meant a lot, but she seems confused about what she wants or if she even wants anything right now. She suggested that maybe we hang out more or go on a date next time we see each other to try this out, but she said she isn;t promising anything so I shouldn't get my hopes up cause it'll be my own fault if I get hurt, but she said she's open minded and willing to try it.

I finally got my chance I think! She also complimented me. I think she at least generally has interest for me, and now that we're both more on the same page I think I can feel a lot more comfortable about a date or hanging out. I sent her another paragraph but I think she fell asleep so I think she's gonna respond tomorrow morning. I'm super excited and happy that this is starting to work for me.



What do you guys think? I did good?  :datass:




I don't know man. When a girl says that she doesn't know what she wants like that it sounds exactly like "it's not you, it's me".

There are things that should only be done in person and that is one of them. Texting gave her the chance to properly phrase what she anted to say in the nicest way possible. In person, you can't do that.

Best of luck to you.


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Offlinelonelypsychonaut
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Re: Girl Situation [Re: Patlal]
    #19236841 - 12/06/13 02:25 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Well now I don't know what to think lol.

The texts seemed pretty good to me. I didn't wanna do it over text, I probably should've called her, but yesterday was really fucked up so I kinda just did it without thinking too much. But there are a lot of good signs to me, she said what I said was really sweet and it meant a lot and we should try going on a date, she only said that she doesn't know what she wants right now and it takes her time with deciding because she overthinks and second guesses her self.

I feel like she's giving me the chance that I've been asking for! We'll have to see how everything goes next time I see her in person, but now I know that she at least generally likes me and has interest so now I feel more comfortable with things like flirting and touching because I know she's alright with it.

Even if you al don't think so, this has to be a little bit good ..


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OfflineSpacerific
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Re: Girl Situation [Re: lonelypsychonaut]
    #19236948 - 12/06/13 02:53 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Ya dude, give it your best shot. Until then make sure you take some time to exercise and sleep well, get your body and mind working right. It really helps prevent overthinking, if you're active and outdoors.

Then do your best once you meet, and may the chips fall where they may.


--------------------
Blessed are your eyes because they see, and your ears because they hear.



For truly, I say to you, many prophets and righteous people longed to see what you see, and did not see it,
and to hear what you hear, and did not hear it.
- Matthew 13:16


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Offlinelonelypsychonaut
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Re: Girl Situation [Re: Spacerific]
    #19237146 - 12/06/13 03:42 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Spacerific said:
Ya dude, give it your best shot.

do your best once you meet, and may the chips fall where they may.





Exactly! I don't really want a relationship with this girl unless it's what we both want. I wanted was a chance, and now I have it. Now that I do have it I'm gonna do my best to make the best out of it cause I don't get chances like this often at all, plus I really like her lol.

Any suggestions for a first date or things I should do on a first date? I was thinking ice cream and a walk maybe? That way I can take her somewhere and treat her to something and also have an activity after for talking and holding hands and stuff. I dunno, just an idea.


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OfflineSpacerific
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Re: Girl Situation [Re: lonelypsychonaut]
    #19241139 - 12/07/13 02:14 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Dude I would say head over to youtube and start watching more RSD Julien, or your other, favorite PUA material. It's good to brush up on that stuff, to keep things chill.

Have a few locations ready and already pre-visited, ice cream pre-tested for quality and stuff, because it's important for you to be comfy at the location. If you know a few places, you can spontaneously decide for one, and keep the plan loose. Know more than one place, to have options and not have to worry about it.

Don't be gay/creepy about holding hands, in the sense that don't start with it. In fact don't even hold hands before kissing the girl. Go for chill and playful at first, break the ice. Play with the girl's skin in a non-erotic manner at first, that goes a long way. Be prepared to do NOTHING on the first date, in the sense that no kiss close, no hand holding, nothing needy on your part, unless things actually develop that way. Show up, shoot the shit, be your awesome self as you would with your dude friends. Talk about shit you know about. Except psychs and masturbation :rofl:

Make sure you're mentally and physically active before meeting the girl. That is, go out walk around a bit get some fresh air, and call some dude friends and shoot the shit with them for a bit. Voice or in person, not text obviously. Best if you're already in a great mood, not expecting the girl to put you in one.

Try to have other shit planned for after the "date" thing. This way you can mention it to her, maybe she wants to come along, and more importantly, will prevent you going home alone and spend many gay hours thinking about how dreamy this girl is, thus turning into a complete wuss about her.

If you're one of "those" people that can't be bothered to view PUA stuff because <insert reasons here>, then awesome, looking forward to updates of your failures. Post it all here for amusement and lulz value :lol:


--------------------
Blessed are your eyes because they see, and your ears because they hear.



For truly, I say to you, many prophets and righteous people longed to see what you see, and did not see it,
and to hear what you hear, and did not hear it.
- Matthew 13:16


Edited by Spacerific (12/07/13 02:18 PM)


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Offlinelonelypsychonaut
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Re: Girl Situation [Re: Spacerific]
    #19245582 - 12/08/13 03:29 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Spacerific said:
Dude I would say head over to youtube and start watching more RSD Julien, or your other, favorite PUA material. It's good to brush up on that stuff, to keep things chill.





Hm, I've never heard of this stuff before, but I'm checking it out now it seems awesome! Also, very helpful advice! Thank you :smile:


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InvisibleFruitOfLife
Professional Package Handler


Registered: 05/21/12
Posts: 4,832
Re: Girl Situation [Re: lonelypsychonaut]
    #19245597 - 12/08/13 03:31 PM (10 years, 1 month ago)

Seriously, do not read too much into the whole PUA stuff. Some of it in theory works but for the most part its useless and makes you over think things like you are already doing, no offense


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