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Offlinelonelypsychonaut
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Girl Situation (UPDATED!)
    #19196850 - 11/27/13 02:44 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

So basically I just want to lay out my plan and some questions I have so I can grasp my situation better.

So I met this girl back at the end of August. I really liked her back then, but there was a lot of weird negative shit going on so I go discouraged and I stopped trying and I stopped talking to her. This was around the end of September. About 2 or 3 weeks ago I started talking to her again because I realized how much I was thinking about her. So we've been texting a bit and I've seen her 3 or 4 times in the past 2 weeks, which is much better progress than when I first met her.

Now the problem. I still like this girl very much, but I'm having quite a hard time reading her. She hasn't turned me down yet when I've asked her to jam, and she usually answers my texts in friendly ways with smiley faces. So it all SEEMS good, but I'm starting to wonder what's really going on. She does usually seem to take a while to answer her texts, if she answers at all. She'll usually either answer me within 5 or 10 minutes, or she'll take a few hours. I don't know what it means when she takes so long to answer, especially over these last few days.

On Monday I texted her asking if she wanted to chill later at night and she said yes. I texted and called her later but she didn't respond for hours. She said sorry and claimed she was sleeping. I asked if she would make it up to me and no reply. The next day she texted me first (for the first time ever I think!) and she apologized again. I took a few hours to reply cause I was at school, but I did, but she never did after that. So I'm thinking I skip talking to her today and try again tomorrow, give her some space. But hopefully this doesn't mean anything bad...

I've also been trying to flirt with her but stay friendly so that she doesn't catch on to me, but I don't know how well it's working. I drew her a picture (it took me a couple days) and I gave it to her as a "gift" and she loved it. If she was telling the truth, I believe the picture is hanging on her wall now. I've been doing my best to talk to her just about anything and still make her smile and laugh, and it's been going well I think. All the times we have seen each other this past weeks we've been alone with each other, and it was never really awkward (not to me anyway) so there's a good sign.

Maybe I'm just being optimistic though, cause I'm seeing good signs, but bad ones too. This whole not responding to my texts thing makes me think I'm being clingy or annoying when I'm really not trying to be. Or that she's just not interested, which I really don't want to be the case. It just makes me worry, so I'm wondering what it means? I hope that she's just at work and that she's forgetting, or that she actually did fall asleep the other night.

She is also moving out of town soon, so I'm trying to establish some sort of relationship with her before she's gone. She'll only be going like 30 - 60 minutes away, so she'll still be within driving distance and it wouldn't be the end of the world. She's definitely worth it in my opinion. But this could also mean she could be hesitating with starting something like that because of the whole new change she's about to go through? I don't know, but it's not gonna stop me from trying.

I think I could be making it a bit obvious that I like her, so I figure I should just tell her how I feel straight up soon. I want to wait and chill with her  and get to know her a bit more before I do this, but I've talked to some girls and apparently they love it and think it's cute, so why not? Doesn't seem like too bad of an idea, it'll allow her to set things straight and it'll tell me if I'm wasting my time or not.

It's not very normal I guess, but I'm thinking of writing her a "letter", and in this "letter" I will describe all my feelings towards her. Like I said, I'm gonna wait a bit so it doesn't overwhelm her, but I feel like this is the best way possible for me to do this, and hear me out on this. If I try to SAY everything I want to, everything will be out of order and I'd leave things out and most of all I would be very afraid. If I WRITE everything out, it allows me to get more of my thoughts out in a more organized way. And how could she not appreciate the work? I'd also give it to her in person so that we can talk about it after she's read it.

So what do you think? Does my plan sound good? Should I add or take out or modify anything? Or does it seem like she doesn't have interest already at this point?

Help a confused guy out! :smile:


Edited by lonelypsychonaut (12/05/13 11:51 PM)


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OfflinePatlal
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Re: Girl Situation [Re: lonelypsychonaut]
    #19196873 - 11/27/13 02:51 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Can we have a TL;DR version?


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Offlinelonelypsychonaut
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Re: Girl Situation [Re: Patlal]
    #19197063 - 11/27/13 03:41 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Patlal said:
Can we have a TL;DR version?




I'd probably get better advice if you read the whole with thing, but sure I guess!

Basically I just wanna know how interested this girl is in me, and if her not answering her texts lately is a bad sign, and if I do decide to let her know how I feel about her soon, if and how I should do that.


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OfflinePatlal
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Re: Girl Situation [Re: lonelypsychonaut]
    #19197094 - 11/27/13 03:54 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

lonelypsychonaut said:
Quote:

Patlal said:
Can we have a TL;DR version?




I'd probably get better advice if you read the whole with thing, but sure I guess!

Basically I just wanna know how interested this girl is in me, and if her not answering her texts lately is a bad sign, and if I do decide to let her know how I feel about her soon, if and how I should do that.




One mistake most guys do (and end up regretting) is not asking out a girl directly so the could get a straight answer. That way you don't wonder for the rest of your life.

I haven't read the whole thing, but next time you meet the girl, ask her out on date. Would you like to out for coffee or dinner or whatever. Then once you're there, Ask her if she wants to go out with you/date.


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OfflinePatlal
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Re: Girl Situation [Re: Patlal]
    #19197115 - 11/27/13 03:58 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Ok I just read the whole thing. Don't write a letter saying everything you feel, that's just overwhelming. Imagine if a girl gave you a letter proclaiming her absolute love to you? Would be weird as fuck right?


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Offlinelonelypsychonaut
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Re: Girl Situation [Re: Patlal]
    #19197415 - 11/27/13 05:16 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Patlal said:
Ok I just read the whole thing. Don't write a letter saying everything you feel, that's just overwhelming. Imagine if a girl gave you a letter proclaiming her absolute love to you? Would be weird as fuck right?





Yea I guess you're right, I just have trouble talking about these things, but I see your point. But I think I'm in the half friendzone, half not, kind of area, so to me I feel like it's kinda weird to ask her on a date type thing without making it obvious. I dunno, she might think it's weird and shoot me down, but I actually was thinking I should take her for some ice cream or something next time I see her.

So should I wait and chill with her a few more times before I get personal and ask her? Or just go for it soon?

And what about the texting thing? What's going on there? It has me mad confused..


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InvisibleInsidious
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Re: Girl Situation [Re: lonelypsychonaut]
    #19197472 - 11/27/13 05:31 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

How did you meet this girl OP? How did the first interaction go? who initiated the conversation?


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Offlinelonelypsychonaut
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Re: Girl Situation [Re: Insidious]
    #19197538 - 11/27/13 05:49 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Insidious said:
How did you meet this girl OP? How did the first interaction go? who initiated the conversation?





I met her one random night in town. We were in a group so we didn't really talk too much to each other, just a few words. Honestly I don't really remember too well, she was on molly too so I bet she doesn't remember very well either. Other than that we only saw each other at a party and in a big group, and again not much conversation.

I kind of re-met her a couple weeks ago. I was having a smoke in the mcdonalds parking lot with a few buddies and she was in another group and she walked over with her friend. We said hi and talked about how we haven't seen in each other in a while and I bummed her a smoke. Later on that night though I texted her and told her we should hang out since we haven't in a while. She said yea so I met up with her later and we smoked together and just chilled for about an hour. It was nice! :smile:

Also something I might've left out. I was with one of this girl's friends on Monday. She needed a ride to the bus station so I drove her. She said something like "ou so you're going to see her later at night?" and I said yes and asked if that was weird. She said not really cause she has guys over at night too. Then I told her that she's snuck out to see me a couple times, including that first night I just mentioned, we jammed from like midnight to 2am, and she told me that that seems kinda weird cause she doesn't usually sneak out to see guys. She said she might have some interest in me. I don't know.

ugh what a mess I'm in  :facepalm:  ... where am I at with this girl?! Should I make a move of some sort?


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InvisibleFruitOfLife
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Re: Girl Situation [Re: lonelypsychonaut]
    #19197587 - 11/27/13 06:03 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

If I were you I would express to her that you do like her and want more than a friendship ASAP. She is probly waiting for you to make a move.

I remember I was in the same situation with this girl about a year ago and because I was too much of a pussy to make a move physically, I ended up getting friend zoned  :sad:  Looking back, all the signs were there that she just wanted me to kiss her already because she knew I liked her alot.

So basically text her you want to take her out on a DATE. If she says yes thats great, then you should at least try to kiss her that night. If she says no, say you understand and move on. If she keeps texting you, ignore her and if she asks whats up just say you want to be more than friends and you dont want to waste anymore time. More than likely she will change her mind and then...  :doggystyle:


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InvisibleInsidious
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Re: Girl Situation [Re: lonelypsychonaut]
    #19197944 - 11/27/13 07:19 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

lonelypsychonaut said:
Quote:

Insidious said:
How did you meet this girl OP? How did the first interaction go? who initiated the conversation?





I met her one random night in town. We were in a group so we didn't really talk too much to each other, just a few words. Honestly I don't really remember too well, she was on molly too so I bet she doesn't remember very well either. Other than that we only saw each other at a party and in a big group, and again not much conversation.

I kind of re-met her a couple weeks ago. I was having a smoke in the mcdonalds parking lot with a few buddies and she was in another group and she walked over with her friend. We said hi and talked about how we haven't seen in each other in a while and I bummed her a smoke. Later on that night though I texted her and told her we should hang out since we haven't in a while. She said yea so I met up with her later and we smoked together and just chilled for about an hour. It was nice! :smile:

Also something I might've left out. I was with one of this girl's friends on Monday. She needed a ride to the bus station so I drove her. She said something like "ou so you're going to see her later at night?" and I said yes and asked if that was weird. She said not really cause she has guys over at night too. Then I told her that she's snuck out to see me a couple times, including that first night I just mentioned, we jammed from like midnight to 2am, and she told me that that seems kinda weird cause she doesn't usually sneak out to see guys. She said she might have some interest in me. I don't know.

ugh what a mess I'm in  :facepalm:  ... where am I at with this girl?! Should I make a move of some sort?




Make a move, what's the worst that could happen? She says no, no big deal... I've never regretted being shut down, but I've regretted not making a move.. I agree with the above poster, other then ignoring her if she just wants to be friends, it's always good to have female friends and that one sounds pretty cool..  Plus she has other female friends, which are possibilities...


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Offlinelonelypsychonaut
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Re: Girl Situation [Re: FruitOfLife]
    #19197966 - 11/27/13 07:25 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

I'm pretty inexperienced with girls so I really don't know most of the signs I should be noticing, if they're even there..

So if I do ask her on a date or tell her I like her, what do I do if she says she just wants to be friends? Should I wait until the end of the night to avoid any post awkwardness? I mean, I should probably see what her mood is like right?

I'm gonna text her tomorrow to see if she wants to chill. I'll probably text her later on in the evening after all the business of the day. We'll probably sesh and if I have time I'll take her somewhere, and if it's alright to make the move I will. I was also thinking we could maybe go for a walk, that's never a bad idea.


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InvisibleInsidious
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Re: Girl Situation [Re: lonelypsychonaut]
    #19198495 - 11/27/13 09:57 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

That sounds okay, but try your best not to chicken out when the time comes.. Look for things like maintained eye contact from her, look her in the eyes and gage her reaction and confidence... It may take a few tries if you're shy... If she touches you, tries to get close are both good signs.. I would look for these signs and towards the end of the hang out let the girl know you like hanging out with her and spending time with her, gage the reaction to that and go on to tell her you like her..


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Offlinemushroom_sandwich
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Re: Girl Situation [Re: Insidious]
    #19199500 - 11/28/13 06:26 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Are you in high school OP? It sounds like you're in high school and writing a letter confessing your feelings really makes it sound like you're in high school.

My point. DON'T write a letter, if you want to go on a date with her, you ask her on a date IN PERSON. You literally have a 50% percent chance of getting a yes, maybe even more if she already kinda likes you.


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“I believe in a long, prolonged derangement of the senses to attain the unknown. Our pale reasoning hides the infinite from us."



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Invisibledeadwk
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Re: Girl Situation [Re: mushroom_sandwich]
    #19199824 - 11/28/13 08:44 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

If you write her a letter are you going to name it?
If you don't name it, she'll probably think you're creepy as fuck.

If you send her a letter there are two ways it will go down: She either finds it so fucking cute and adorable, and methaphorically jumps on your dick. Or thinks you're a loser and jumps on another dudes dick.


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Invisiblepwnasaurus
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Re: Girl Situation [Re: deadwk]
    #19199968 - 11/28/13 09:34 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

thedeadwalkk said:
If you send her a letter there are two ways it will go down: She either finds it so fucking cute and adorable, and methaphorically jumps on your dick. Or thinks you're a loser and jumps on another dudes dick.



And it will likely be the latter.  Writing someone you're not dating a letter like that is really weird and creepy.


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Offlinemushroom_sandwich
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Re: Girl Situation [Re: pwnasaurus]
    #19199995 - 11/28/13 09:42 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

pwnasaurus said:
Quote:

thedeadwalkk said:
If you send her a letter there are two ways it will go down: She either finds it so fucking cute and adorable, and methaphorically jumps on your dick. Or thinks you're a loser and jumps on another dudes dick.



And it will likely be the latter.  Writing someone you're not dating a letter like that is really weird and creepy.



REALLY creepy


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Re: Girl Situation [Re: mushroom_sandwich]
    #19200034 - 11/28/13 09:57 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Next time you hang out, when the moment feels right, kiss her.  Letter == really creepy and weird.


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Offlinemushroom_sandwich
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Re: Girl Situation [Re: pwnasaurus]
    #19200145 - 11/28/13 10:23 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

or just ask her out on a fluffin date


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Offlinelonelypsychonaut
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Re: Girl Situation [Re: deadwk]
    #19200794 - 11/28/13 01:08 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

LOL OK THE LETTER THING WAS STUPID :lol:

Quote:

mushroom_sandwich said:
Are you in high school OP? It sounds like you're in high school and writing a letter confessing your feelings really makes it sound like you're in high school.

My point. DON'T write a letter, if you want to go on a date with her, you ask her on a date IN PERSON. You literally have a 50% percent chance of getting a yes, maybe even more if she already kinda likes you.





Yea, senior year, almost out of the god damn place.. but yea you're right. I need to man up here I guess.


Quote:

thedeadwalkk said:
She finds it so fucking cute and adorable, and methaphorically jumps on your dick.





This is what I was hoping for originally, but with crushes it's always wishful thinking, thanks for tuning me into reality everyone haha.

Hopefully I'll be seeing her tonight for a bit though, and when I do I'll see how it goes and update all of you. I think I'll keep it a bit subtle tonight since I haven't seen her in a week and when I texted her today she seemed stressed about something she needs to do later, but I'll see how it all goes.

Thanks everyone!


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OfflinePatlal
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Re: Girl Situation [Re: mushroom_sandwich]
    #19200865 - 11/28/13 01:25 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

mushroom_sandwich said:
Quote:

pwnasaurus said:
Quote:

thedeadwalkk said:
If you send her a letter there are two ways it will go down: She either finds it so fucking cute and adorable, and methaphorically jumps on your dick. Or thinks you're a loser and jumps on another dudes dick.



And it will likely be the latter.  Writing someone you're not dating a letter like that is really weird and creepy.



REALLY creepy




REALLY REALLY creepy


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