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Offlinemeerkat
stoned suricate

Registered: 08/31/03
Posts: 18
Last seen: 13 years, 7 months
Ever wished you were someone you shouldn't be?
    #1919649 - 09/15/03 10:42 PM (13 years, 8 months ago)

In high school, I used to hang out with a group of quiet kids who were into computers. I was a straight A student, a JROTC captain, a student government officer, and graduated with a superintendent's diploma.

It might sound crazy, but I wish I could be 15 again. If I had it to do over again, I'd put on offensive clothes and hang with the wrong crowd. I'd do drugs, underage drinking, and have sex with bad girls. I'd cut class, tell cops to fuck off, and never spend any time at my parents' house. I'd rebel against everyone I could- just for the fuck of it. I feel like that, inside, every day.

So how am I doing now? I'm a double major college senior on the deans list- and I'm about to graduate in just under three total years of college. I represent Dell computers for the largest university in the state, and that's only my part time job. I'm a pilot and I've got money in the bank.

I am, and always have been one of the people I want to rebel against.

I'm guessing more than a few people on this forum have lived their their teenage years the way I feel like I wish I could have lived mine. I know people who have, and they wish they had lived their lives like I did mine. My life isn't much better than their's though. Maybe it looks like it on the outside, but the way you feel inside about yourself inside is much more important. Everything else is just superficial.

Some days I just wish I were another person.

Who will be the first one to bitch at me for being a spoiled brat who doesn't know how good he has it?
Or maybe some of you out there do understand.

meer


Edited by meerkat (09/15/03 10:49 PM)


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OfflineSheepish
 User Gallery

Registered: 04/02/02
Posts: 10,137
Loc: Exile
Last seen: 1 month, 7 days
Re: Ever wished you were someone you shouldn't be? [Re: meerkat]
    #1919721 - 09/15/03 10:57 PM (13 years, 8 months ago)

That's life - most of us wish that we could do things differently, or that we had a different life/was a different person. People with curly hair wish they had straight hair; people with straight hair wish they had curly hair; nerds wish they cooler; cool people wish they were smarter - and so on.
But you have to realise that you are you, and there's no changing that. Sure, you could change that, but it might not feel comfortable, and the whole thing would just be an act. Embrace everything that is part of what you are and then you may realise that you don't want to be anyone else.


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Offlinemanna_man
High onlife.....andcrack

Registered: 06/10/03
Posts: 481
Loc: Vancouver
Last seen: 11 years, 6 months
Re: Ever wished you were someone you shouldn't be? [Re: meerkat]
    #1919737 - 09/15/03 11:00 PM (13 years, 8 months ago)

To relive your highschool years as you described, would be to give up everything you have presently. Is that something you'd really want to sacrifice? I think everyone would like to have done things a little bit differently, yet at the same time are just as content with their present state and wouldn't want it to be any other way.
I myself sometimes wish I had been a little more outgoing and rebellious in highschool. Had I been this way, I probably wouldnt be attending one of the top canadian universities, have some of the best friends, or a family that loves me as much as they do.

Life is for living. Don't dwell on the trivial shit that should have been. Look forward to what will be.


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This post is protected under copyrite law.All above content is strictly the property of ?manna_man.Any infringement of copyright property is strictly prohibited.Any violators will be stretched, shot, and then vaporized into a state of anti-matter, where they will cease to exist.


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Offlinedomite
Puppet
Male User Gallery
Registered: 04/12/03
Posts: 2,978
Loc: Who's askin'?
Last seen: 3 years, 9 months
Re: Ever wished you were someone you shouldn't be? [Re: manna_man]
    #1919911 - 09/15/03 11:54 PM (13 years, 8 months ago)

Trust me, being rebelluos and drinking does not really get you liad that often.


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InvisibleZwieback0
Baby Bread
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Registered: 08/23/02
Posts: 3,473
Re: Ever wished you were someone you shouldn't be? [Re: domite]
    #1920062 - 09/16/03 12:40 AM (13 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

that often.





You still get laid more than the geeks. Even thought they will probably getting primo poon once they spoon in the money.


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Invisibledjfrog
omgws!!!1!

Registered: 10/23/00
Posts: 3,710
Re: Ever wished you were someone you shouldn't be? [Re: meerkat]
    #1920153 - 09/16/03 01:13 AM (13 years, 8 months ago)

"
I'd cut class, tell cops to fuck off, and never spend any time at my parents' house.
"

Believe it or not this cool cat was once square like you. I was so square, I had to try not to be so square. Well anyhow then I was self-conscious and so I'd push the limits just to be cool. Sounds like I'm 35 saying that. Anyhow I never thought to push against my peers, not down or up but through, because now I'm old those folks I would've rebelled against well they're my peers now. If I rebelled on my peers then yes it would've made no sense but I would've been way far ahead by now. I don't know what I'm leading to. Oh yeah, its not them versus us. The us is what you lack and wish you could emulate, the them is a negative distrust built out of your own inadequacy next to us. When you stop fitting people into an in and out group, you stop using the same criteria for yourself, and you're actions flow with your more natural self. The self is the last peel before the core, and when you get to it you stop watching them and when you off that peel you stop watching yourself and just flow. So my point is, all you cool cats, you stay cool, and you squares out there, try not to be so square.


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OfflineStrumpling
Neuronaut
Registered: 10/11/02
Posts: 7,571
Loc: Hyperspace
Last seen: 6 years, 5 days
Re: Ever wished you were someone you shouldn't be? [Re: meerkat]
    #1920327 - 09/16/03 02:55 AM (13 years, 8 months ago)

"The grass is always greener on the other side."

Man I wish I would have tried harder in school :wink: :smile:

Peace dude.


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Insert an "I think" mentally in front of eveything I say that seems sketchy, because I certainly don't KNOW much. Also; feel free to yell at me.
In addition: SHPONGLE


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Offlinesuperfine
Driter

Registered: 02/19/02
Posts: 170
Loc: My Home Roams
Last seen: 11 years, 9 months
Re: Ever wished you were someone you shouldn't be? [Re: Strumpling]
    #1924280 - 09/17/03 05:21 AM (13 years, 8 months ago)

I just graduated, It is leaving me very down because I keep wishing I could just do a redo of grade 8 on. The thing is There was periods where I did try to change who I was to fit in with different people. It doesn't work well... these "cool" people now that I think back were really just depressing and boring. I never had as good of a time with them as I do with my real friends. I learned too late that the people you know in your heart are cool people that you feel at ease with are the people you want to hang out with. Changing yourself just doesn't work. I can almost guarantee if you wen't back you would end up doing the same things that you did, because that is who you are. Learn to like who you are. Shit kid, My dream is to be a pilot, I might accomplish it.... maybey but im pretty goddamn SOL because I don't have money or good grades to back me up. How much fun is that? Remember the most cool person to you still thinks someone is cooler than them that they wish they could be.


--------------------
Go through the orange yesterday

I watched intently for a while to both sides, infront of me and behind me.
I was impressed to learn there was another way to look... UP!
More impressive still was the fact that there were beautiful stars in this direction
Most amazing fact of all was the prospect of another direction when I was done with up. DOWN! Which, based on the feel through my toes would be a fine sandy beach!


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InvisibleMOTH
Wild Woman
 User Gallery

Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,379
Loc: In the jungle
Re: Ever wished you were someone you shouldn't be? [Re: meerkat]
    #1924357 - 09/17/03 06:21 AM (13 years, 8 months ago)

Well, I was hell for my parents and teachers in high school, but I do wish I had done some things differently.

I wish I had bothered to have a great knowledge of local laws, government and the constitution as a teenager.

I wish I would have been able to present my arguements in a concise, educated way, instead of getting into fights and suspended from school.

But more often then not...I wish I had not even gone to a high school. It is a breeding ground for torment for some kids. I used to spend my afternoons sticking up for kids who couldn't do it for themselves. I used to get into fights for my current boyfriend Kevin, who happens to be very feminine for a guy.

I hate the way high school favors some kids. Its really damaging. But on the flip side, it's made me a much stronger person. *shrug*

I can see partially where you are coming from. I think everyone has things that they would have done differently in some point of their lives.

-ShadeGirl


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OfflineDellComputers
Bluntman

Registered: 04/15/03
Posts: 806
Last seen: 10 years, 9 months
Re: Ever wished you were someone you shouldn't be? [Re: meerkat]
    #1933129 - 09/19/03 06:33 PM (13 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

meerkat said:
  I represent Dell computers for the largest university in the state, and that's only my part time job



you dont represent shit! :wink: 


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:stash: + :bong: = :smile:


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InvisibleLe_Canard
The Happy Mutant

Registered: 05/17/03
Posts: 94,096
Loc: Earthfarm 1
Re: Ever wished you were someone you shouldn't be? [Re: Zwieback0]
    #1936391 - 09/20/03 10:44 PM (13 years, 8 months ago)

Quote:

Zwieback0 said:


You still get laid more than the geeks.  Even thought they will probably getting primo poon once they spoon in the money. 




That's very true! Especially the latter part. :smile:

Meerkat: Actually I was exactly as you described at 15. Trust me, it gets old after awhile. 


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