|
Anonymous #1
|
How to break up
#19196202 - 11/27/13 12:18 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
I have been with my girlfriend J for over a year, yet the first wounds are raw as ever. That's not to say I didn't deserve it in the beginning, but it never should have gotten to this point.
TL:DR
I am so lost. I feel like there is no way out. Last time I tried to break up with her, it resulted in 2 months of heart-wrenching chaos and then I am back together with her again. I don't know what the fuck to do and I'm honestly scared that I am going to be with her for the rest of my life. I would rather die young than grow old with these feelings plaguing my heart.
Have any of you ever felt stuck in a toxic relationship? How did you get out? I just want to move on and figure my problems out on my own.
Edited by Anonymous (11/28/13 01:22 AM)
|
Endure
The Anal Demon



Registered: 10/17/13
Posts: 4,906
Loc: New York
|
|
hey you need to end it, she is causing inner conflict more than Anything in your life. and this isnt something that will just go away.
so yes, break up with her, dont feel bad for her at all. thats KEY. when she puts on that look, those cry's, don't feel bad for her. just think about what was going through her mind when her mouth was on someone elses dick. end of fuckin story. goodluck
p.s. tell her in person, make her face her consequence
i was in 2 toxic relationships. i moved on by realizing, theres always 2 sides that breakup with eachother, its never truly one. the one who initially got cut off, (she cut you off when she cheated) needs to break-up with the other person themselves in there mind n fuel it. keep pushin through, you'll find someone better, who fucks you, and you only, n is hotter, more beautiful n just better. thats the way the cookie may crumbles if you Allow it, so why not take a chance lol
-------------------- Im only aloud to post once an hour. Because 'Sell Your Soul' doesn't like me. so if I am responding to you, that means you are above of the utmost importance
|
jamminshaman
I am the pope of dope



Registered: 08/24/10
Posts: 1,439
Last seen: 1 year, 3 months
|
Re: How to break up [Re: Endure]
#19197099 - 11/27/13 03:55 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
TL;DR with the exception of the first and last few sentences.
IME there is no good time or easy way to do it.
|
Patlal
You ask too many questions



Registered: 10/09/10
Posts: 44,797
Loc: Ottawa
Last seen: 4 hours, 7 minutes
|
|
I you're gonna break up, do it the mature way; via Facebook.
--------------------
Edited by Patlal (11/27/13 05:31 PM)
|
Mescalean
Burke is love, burke is life.


Registered: 01/18/12
Posts: 6,755
Last seen: 6 years, 10 months
|
Re: How to break up [Re: Patlal]
#19197468 - 11/27/13 05:30 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
This sounds alot like a destructive relationship I was in, j sounds exactly like my ex. GET. OUT. NOW!!!
-------------------- FREE BURKE
|
mushroom_sandwich
semi retarded



Registered: 04/17/12
Posts: 2,803
Last seen: 7 years, 11 months
|
Re: How to break up [Re: Mescalean]
#19199504 - 11/28/13 06:28 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
lol if you want out so badly then dump her and ignore her.
see how easy that was OP?
-------------------- “I believe in a long, prolonged derangement of the senses to attain the unknown. Our pale reasoning hides the infinite from us."
|
koraks
Registered: 06/02/03
Posts: 26,672
|
|
Quote:
mushroom_sandwich said: lol if you want out so badly then dump her and ignore her.
Pretty much this.
Except:
Quote:
see how easy that was OP?
that's not true, of course
|
mushroom_sandwich
semi retarded



Registered: 04/17/12
Posts: 2,803
Last seen: 7 years, 11 months
|
Re: How to break up [Re: koraks]
#19199736 - 11/28/13 08:14 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
depends on how bad you want out 
I remember breaking up with my first girlfriend back in high school... took different routes to my classes so I wouldn't run into her, flat out refused to kiss her and then deleted her number after texting her "I'm not dating you anymore"
-------------------- “I believe in a long, prolonged derangement of the senses to attain the unknown. Our pale reasoning hides the infinite from us."
|
koraks
Registered: 06/02/03
Posts: 26,672
|
|
How is that funny? I'm going out on a limb here and assume she was pretty hurt.
|
mushroom_sandwich
semi retarded



Registered: 04/17/12
Posts: 2,803
Last seen: 7 years, 11 months
|
Re: How to break up [Re: koraks]
#19199878 - 11/28/13 09:03 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
i'm not saying it's funny that I was mean necessarily it's funny because I was a dumb 15 year old and didn't know how to properly break up with someone, follies of youth etc.
I talked to her about it later down the road, she was fiiine.
-------------------- “I believe in a long, prolonged derangement of the senses to attain the unknown. Our pale reasoning hides the infinite from us."
|
Anonymous #1
|
|
Quote:
mushroom_sandwich said: lol if you want out so badly then dump her and ignore her.
see how easy that was OP?
Oh its that easy? So its easy to ignore her when all of my friends are also her friends? When she is there everywhere you turn, trying to get into your head? I'll just refuse to kiss her and then text her that its over and it will all be OK, right?
See, the thing is, I don't want out. I need to be alone so I can move on with my life. This isn't a time for me where I can afford to spend half of every day micromanaging a 20 year old girl's emotions.
If it were as easy as you try to make it seem, I would already be a free man.
I'm not so much asking how to break up with a girl... I know how to do that. I'm talking about dealing with the fallout afterward and keeping oneself sane.
Edited by Anonymous (11/28/13 10:01 AM)
|
mushroom_sandwich
semi retarded



Registered: 04/17/12
Posts: 2,803
Last seen: 7 years, 11 months
|
|
Quote:
Anonymous said:
Quote:
mushroom_sandwich said: lol if you want out so badly then dump her and ignore her.
see how easy that was OP?
Oh its that easy? So its easy to ignore her when all of my friends are also her friends? When she is there everywhere you turn, trying to get into your head? I'll just refuse to kiss her and then text her that its over and it will all be OK, right?
See, the thing is, I don't want out. I need to be alone so I can move on with my life. This isn't a time for me where I can afford to spend half of every day micromanaging a 20 year old girl's emotions.
If it were as easy as you try to make it seem, I would already be a free man.
I'm not so much asking how to break up with a girl... I know how to do that. I'm talking about dealing with the fallout afterward and keeping oneself sane.
lol that little high school tale wasn't meant to be taken as advice in any way whatsoever, it was pretty awful what I did, but hey I was like 15 at the time.
But staying in a relationship just because you don't want to deal with the aftermath isn't the answer to your problems.
Can you explain what the 2 months after you broke up with her were like? Why was it so bad that you had to take her back?
-------------------- “I believe in a long, prolonged derangement of the senses to attain the unknown. Our pale reasoning hides the infinite from us."
|
Anonymous #1
|
|
Quote:
mushroom_sandwich said: Can you explain what the 2 months after you broke up with her were like? Why was it so bad that you had to take her back?
Well, first she fucked the person that was most emotionally painful for me for her to fuck. Then she started hanging out with my best friend almost every day.. about a week after that she is trying to date him. She would show up to all of the events that me and my crew would throw and grind up on dudes right in front of my face while I am performing. Not things that really make you want to be with a person. By the end of those 2 months, I had pretty much decided to be completely over it. I would've been successful too if she didn't chase me to Burning Man and then throw herself at me the whole week. I went to get over her but everywhere I turn she is there so I start hanging out with her and then we had a bunch of crazy sex and shared a ton of experiences, I can't really explain because its the Burn but if you've been then you understand. When we got back, I could tell she thought we were together again and all of the fallout was pretty much over and I did not want to go through all of that again. I still do not.
|
centipad
Stranger



Registered: 04/06/13
Posts: 214
Last seen: 9 years, 7 months
|
|
LOL. OP.
you tool. The obvious solution to is tell her its over and not talk to her anymore. OF course she is going to do all those nasty dirty tricks that girls do to piss you off... ie.. date your friends, fuck your friends, go to events she knows you'll be at and try to grind on every dude. Thats women dude and thats life. Dump the cunt and dont ever give her the time of day.
|
centipad
Stranger



Registered: 04/06/13
Posts: 214
Last seen: 9 years, 7 months
|
Re: How to break up [Re: centipad]
#19200163 - 11/28/13 10:28 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
|
|
Edit: tymoteusz3M is an extremely sensitive moderator.
Edited by centipad (12/05/13 10:41 AM)
|
mushroom_sandwich
semi retarded



Registered: 04/17/12
Posts: 2,803
Last seen: 7 years, 11 months
|
|
she sounds extremely immature and manipulative man, and she cheated on you with i'm assuming a really close friend THEN went directly for your best friend?
you need to drop her man, and I mean DROP her. I get that she hangs out with people you hang out with but even if it means simply not hanging out with a group while she's there or not allowing her into parties that you throw, she sounds like a terrible partner.
Someone who legitimately cares for you wouldn't do any of that, she just wants to play games. And I wouldn't really count on her staying faithful if she cheated before and then tried to fuck all your friends. Not to mention any friend that would fuck her knowing it's hurting you isn't much of a friend to begin with.
delete her number delete her from fb or whatever don't hang in groups that she's in and tell her to fuck off
that's really the only way.
-------------------- “I believe in a long, prolonged derangement of the senses to attain the unknown. Our pale reasoning hides the infinite from us."
|
Endure
The Anal Demon



Registered: 10/17/13
Posts: 4,906
Loc: New York
|
|
drop her n find new friends.
this shouldn't be an issue on either fronts. a friend shouldnt back stab you and a girl shouldn't. do not view yourself as getting fucked over, literally view this as a chance to start anew..
-------------------- Im only aloud to post once an hour. Because 'Sell Your Soul' doesn't like me. so if I am responding to you, that means you are above of the utmost importance
|
bloodsheen
ChemChaplin



Registered: 09/24/08
Posts: 7,659
Last seen: 4 years, 13 days
|
|
Quote:
mushroom_sandwich said: she sounds extremely immature and manipulative man, and she cheated on you with i'm assuming a really close friend THEN went directly for your best friend?
you need to drop her man, and I mean DROP her. I get that she hangs out with people you hang out with but even if it means simply not hanging out with a group while she's there or not allowing her into parties that you throw, she sounds like a terrible partner.
Someone who legitimately cares for you wouldn't do any of that, she just wants to play games. And I wouldn't really count on her staying faithful if she cheated before and then tried to fuck all your friends. Not to mention any friend that would fuck her knowing it's hurting you isn't much of a friend to begin with.
delete her number delete her from fb or whatever don't hang in groups that she's in and tell her to fuck off
that's really the only way.
Agreed. That whole trying to be 'mature' thing where you try to live around them is bullshit and pointless. When you pull off a band aid, regardless of if you pull it slow or all at once, you don't put it on your kitchen counter and watch the bacteria grow on it, you throw it away.
That may be a labored metaphor, but I think it fits
--------------------
A cautious young fellow named Lodge / Had seat belts installed in his Dodge. / When his date was strapped in / He committed a sin / Without even leaving the garage. That's clever, isn't it?-A boy and his dog
|
mushroom_sandwich
semi retarded



Registered: 04/17/12
Posts: 2,803
Last seen: 7 years, 11 months
|
|
-------------------- “I believe in a long, prolonged derangement of the senses to attain the unknown. Our pale reasoning hides the infinite from us."
|
Anonymous #1
|
|
She didn't cheat on me. We were already broken up, but it was still pretty fucked up. Yes, she is manipulative. I know I need to leave her. Its really hard because I love her and ever since we've gotten back together she has been really good to me. If she had been like this from the beginning, things could've been really awesome. She knows she fucked up and she legitimately loves me. And I'm not exactly being good to her now. I'm not emotionally there half of the time. I have to shut my emotions off if I think about our past before we hang out because I get really frustrated. I know that I should be with somebody that would never have done that to me in the first place. She deserves somebody who treats her better and I deserve somebody who didn't fuck me over in the past. I would probably even be happier alone, but I'm depressed as fuck right now. I don't know how I can deal with all of the bullshit if I break up with her.
Edited by Anonymous (11/28/13 11:58 PM)
|
|