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InvisibleautomanM
blasted chipmunk
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Registered: 09/18/03
Posts: 8,272
Re: WOULD YOU break up with her for this.....? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #19188561 - 11/25/13 07:14 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

In my world, it would've gone like this:

Her: "Don't wear a bathing suit. Your body isn't attractive."
Me: "Oh, sure. Since we are being open, please don't talk to many people tonight. Your friends never say anything, but you always have terrible breath."

Later that night, a conversation will happen that you've already won.


--------------------
No, no, you're not thinking, you're just being logical. ~ Niels Bohr


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OfflineCrystal G
I'm a teapot


Registered: 06/05/07
Posts: 19,584
Loc: outer space
Last seen: 8 months, 30 days
Re: WOULD YOU break up with her for this.....? [Re: empty space] * 1
    #19188594 - 11/25/13 07:21 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

My last ex was a little bit out of shape, and I was actually a little bit embarrassed whenever we were seen at the beach or the pool together and he had his shirt off. Especially when he was around my other friends who were very fit. It's like people were wondering, "What's she doing with HIM?"

But, I never once told him about how I really felt. I didn't want his feelings to be hurt, so I never said anything or told him what to wear. I told him he looked sexy all the time (a bold-faced lie lol) to try to boost his self-esteem.

Eventually he saw how into the gym I was, and started coming with me. I never once asked him to start coming with me, but once he started coming, I made suggestions on how he should eat, since he mentioned he wanted to lose weight. He ate a low calorie, low carb diet. But his body never changed, even after 6 months of this type of eating. I guess at that point I just realized that he couldn't help it, he was genetically that weight. We both ate exactly the same calories despite me being 80lbs less than him, and while he lost some weight, it was not nearly as much as I thought it would be. My body on the other hand, changes overnight with a quick diet and workout routine. Apparently his entire family is obese and he's basically the skinniest one out of them.

There's nothing wrong with being thin. At least you aren't overweight or have like 20lbs of love handles hanging from each side. That would be way worse. I wouldn't mind a thin guy, at all. Her reaction was not good at all, especially the way she put you down like that. IDK if it's worth breaking up over, but tell her how she made you feel, and if this is a repetitive pattern that she does, by calling you out on your shortcomings, then break up with her.


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InvisibleshLong
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Registered: 03/04/10
Posts: 25,330
Loc: 'sconsin Flag
Re: WOULD YOU break up with her for this.....? [Re: Crystal G]
    #19188674 - 11/25/13 07:33 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Crystal G said:
I told him he looked sexy all the time (a bold-faced lie lol)




Man... CG... That was a horribly placed "lol"  :ifyoucanawe:


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OfflineCrystal G
I'm a teapot


Registered: 06/05/07
Posts: 19,584
Loc: outer space
Last seen: 8 months, 30 days
Re: WOULD YOU break up with her for this.....? [Re: shLong] * 1
    #19188789 - 11/25/13 07:54 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

shLong said:
Man... CG... That was a horribly placed "lol"  :ifyoucanawe:




I was just laughing because I was just imagining him reading this and going "WTFFFFFFFFFF" and freaking the fuck out at the computer. :lol: He used to stalk my Shroomery posts while we were dating and didn't tell me until like 7 months later. I doubt he still reads through my shit anymore, but if he does, he's going to find a pleasant surprise! LOL


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Anonymous #2

Re: WOULD YOU break up with her for this.....? [Re: empty space]
    #19188806 - 11/25/13 07:58 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

empty space said:
Quote:

Murzelpfrumpft said:
If you can't consider going to the gym to avoid discovering that almost every  good looking woman is hooked on that ideal of the muscular male.




Why are you surprised that attractive women that take time to get fit would won't an attractive male who also takes the time to get fit? I don't think that it is superficial to want a good looking mate, especially if you consider yourself to be attractive.




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Anonymous #1

Re: WOULD YOU break up with her for this.....? [Re: Anonymous #2]
    #19188844 - 11/25/13 08:09 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Im not surprised. But im not a fan of wasting time. Sure she is atractive and goes to the gym daily.. my lifestyle is different but she is the one who decided to continue dating me.

I dont believe the whole "date in your league" mentality. It is a loosers mentality. She is model level... im not stereotypically attractive, but that doesnt change i could get her, or another girl just as attractive. I didnt appreciate her rudeness so i broke it off. Life goes on


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InvisibleBeside the Garden
Male User Gallery

Registered: 06/03/13
Posts: 606
Re: WOULD YOU break up with her for this.....? [Re: Anonymous #2]
    #19188852 - 11/25/13 08:13 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Something got said that you can't unhear and she can't really take back.
You now know the shallow depths of her water, this reflects on her not you.
It's malignant and your probably better off cutting this out, symptomatic of whats to come. In time this breakup might even serve her well.:thumbup:


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OfflineCrystal G
I'm a teapot


Registered: 06/05/07
Posts: 19,584
Loc: outer space
Last seen: 8 months, 30 days
Re: WOULD YOU break up with her for this.....? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #19189170 - 11/25/13 09:32 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous said:
Im not surprised. But im not a fan of wasting time. Sure she is atractive and goes to the gym daily.. my lifestyle is different but she is the one who decided to continue dating me.




Well, then maybe you shouldn't complain when you realize your girlfriend is attractive but rather superficial. You are the one that chose to date her. Well, I guess technically you decided not to anymore. Good for you.


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OfflineCrystal G
I'm a teapot


Registered: 06/05/07
Posts: 19,584
Loc: outer space
Last seen: 8 months, 30 days
Re: WOULD YOU break up with her for this.....? [Re: Crystal G]
    #19189178 - 11/25/13 09:34 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

OP, maybe this is a learning lesson for you. When you go only for good looks, you sometimes end up with a bitch who is always trying to change you, or has superficial values. To say that you intend to go for another model quality girl makes me wonder whether she is the one who is superficial, or whether you are.


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InvisibleshLong
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Registered: 03/04/10
Posts: 25,330
Loc: 'sconsin Flag
Re: WOULD YOU break up with her for this.....? [Re: Crystal G] * 1
    #19189227 - 11/25/13 09:44 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

I'd enjoy a pic of OP's lady.


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OfflineYippie
Happystance
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Registered: 09/17/08
Posts: 260
Last seen: 8 years, 1 month
Re: WOULD YOU break up with her for this.....? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #19189300 - 11/25/13 10:01 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous said:
Basically..

I've been dating a girl for the last few months. Very amazing girl: attractive, great personality.

Basically we were planning on going to a pool party. We have been planning on it for the last week or so. She tells me not to wear a swimming suit. I ask why, and she eventually says because she doesn't want people to be shocked like she was....

I asked her to elaborate, and she ended up saying i have a bad looking body and doesn't want people to be shocked by it. (I am a thin dude)... and after that I realized I dont want to have sex with her anymore, I can't feel comfortable with someone who isn't physically attracted to me...

Even though we were very sexually active, I broke it off for that comment... As I want the freedom to be open and myself, not being around someone who is ashamed to be around me or unwilling to accept my body. I just cant imagine myself wanting to cuddle up against her anymore or have sex with her after she said that.

Anyways... Would it be a breaking point for you?




For me - that's a deal breaker right there - fuck that - your sense of self has to be pretty skewed to want to stay with her (if in fact you do).


--------------------
"Just living molecule to molecule"


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Anonymous #1

Re: WOULD YOU break up with her for this.....? [Re: Crystal G] * 1
    #19189320 - 11/25/13 10:07 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Crystal G said:
OP, maybe this is a learning lesson for you. When you go only for good looks, you sometimes end up with a bitch who is always trying to change you, or has superficial values. To say that you intend to go for another model quality girl makes me wonder whether she is the one who is superficial, or whether you are.




oh bit of a misunderstanding. I didnt go for her soley by her appearance... i was responding to someone who posted that i should date girls as attractive as me. I was just making the point that it is a bullshit mentality. But with this girl... i really had no idea she would say anything like that... i was surprised very much, but then again we were in the early stages... and thats the beauty of getting to know someone before dating too seriously.. to see their true colors.

i was just making a point earlier not to settle for something you dont want because you arent good looking by societys standards.


Edited by Anonymous (11/25/13 10:09 PM)


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Offlineempty space
the void

Registered: 12/19/12
Posts: 1,120
Last seen: 6 years, 11 months
Re: WOULD YOU break up with her for this.....? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #19190448 - 11/26/13 04:22 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous said:
i was responding to someone who posted that i should date girls as attractive as me.



You misunderstand me. I said that if a girl frequents the gym, it shouldn't be surprising if she wants a buff muscular guy. I never said that you should date girls as attractive as you, and from the way you say that, it doesn't seem like you find yourself very attractive, which isn't very attractive. Look, if you can nail models, go for it brother. More power to you. Just don't be surprised if you end up with superficial girls who feel just as unattractive inside as you do.


--------------------


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OfflineCrystal G
I'm a teapot


Registered: 06/05/07
Posts: 19,584
Loc: outer space
Last seen: 8 months, 30 days
Re: WOULD YOU break up with her for this.....? [Re: empty space]
    #19190527 - 11/26/13 05:27 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

empty space said:
You misunderstand me. I said that if a girl frequents the gym, it shouldn't be surprising if she wants a buff muscular guy. I never said that you should date girls as attractive as you, and from the way you say that, it doesn't seem like you find yourself very attractive, which isn't very attractive. Look, if you can nail models, go for it brother. More power to you. Just don't be surprised if you end up with superficial girls who feel just as unattractive inside as you do.




Yea that's sort of my point too. A lot of guys go only for looks and then they wonder why they end up with vain, narcissistic, superficial, nasty, bitchy, mean, women who always only want them to buy expensive stuff. Like... duhhhhh!!! It's because you're dating the female douchebag! :lol:


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OfflineMurzelpfrumpft
pet donkey in a lucid dream

Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 1,855
Last seen: 2 months, 21 days
Re: WOULD YOU break up with her for this.....? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #19190609 - 11/26/13 06:39 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous said:
I dont believe the whole "date in your league" mentality. It is a loosers mentality. She is model level... im not stereotypically attractive, but that doesnt change i could get her, or another girl just as attractive.




Kinda weird not to believe that when your beliefs have been proven wrong recently.
Apparently you don't meet her expectations and therefore you can not get her because you don't want a girl that's not physically attracted to you.
So, "date in your league" or deal with the consequences, which boil down exactly to what you experienced.

@Crystal:

I think hiding your opinion about your partners changeable deficits is bad, telling him the opposite is worse. You take away his chance to change for the better and maybe your true opinion would have given him the motivation to get over his maybe partly genetic problem.

By the way the equation is easy: standard consumption + muscle mass = need of calories per day

If you meet your needs, your weight stays the same, if you don't you lose weight and if you consume more you gain weight.

Therefore being obese is NEVER a matter of genetics. A low need of calories plus superpropotional feeling of hunger might be genetic, but you will have to eat TOO MUCH to become fat.

Obviously your ex had a not much higher need of calories than you had. Eat less or eat the same + get some lbs of muscle mass = losing weight.

It really is that easy.


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Anonymous #1

Re: WOULD YOU break up with her for this.....? [Re: Murzelpfrumpft]
    #19190650 - 11/26/13 07:04 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)


Quote:

Murzelpfrumpft said:
Quote:

Anonymous said:
I dont believe the whole "date in your league" mentality. It is a loosers mentality. She is model level... im not stereotypically attractive, but that doesnt change i could get her, or another girl just as attractive.




Kinda weird not to believe that when your beliefs have been proven wrong recently.
Apparently you don't meet her expectations and therefore you can not get her because you don't want a girl that's not physically attracted to you.
So, "date in your league" or deal with the consequences, which boil down exactly to what you experienced.

@Crystal:

I think hiding your opinion about your partners changeable deficits is bad, telling him the opposite is worse. You take away his chance to change for the better and maybe your true opinion would have given him the motivation to get over his maybe partly genetic problem.

By the way the equation is easy: standard consumption + muscle mass = need of calories per day

If you meet your needs, your weight stays the same, if you don't you lose weight and if you consume more you gain weight.

Therefore being obese is NEVER a matter of genetics. A low need of calories plus superpropotional feeling of hunger might be genetic, but you will have to eat TOO MUCH to become fat.

Obviously your ex had a not much higher need of calories than you had. Eat less or eat the same + get some lbs of muscle mass = losing weight.

It really is that easy.




I don't believe it... As I have always dated very attractive girls. I could have easily kept her, she was devastated when I broke up with her. She was getting seriously about me. It boils down to a bitchy attitude that I wont deal with, even if I lived up to her standards of looks... the bitchy attitude would still unearth.

I don't see this as being proven wrong at all. This isn't about looks at all in my eyes. It is about respect and attitude. I just wanted to put this past you guys to see if I was being rash.


Edited by Anonymous (11/26/13 07:07 AM)


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OfflineCrystal G
I'm a teapot


Registered: 06/05/07
Posts: 19,584
Loc: outer space
Last seen: 8 months, 30 days
Re: WOULD YOU break up with her for this.....? [Re: Murzelpfrumpft]
    #19190701 - 11/26/13 07:27 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Murzelpfrumpft said:
@Crystal:

I think hiding your opinion about your partners changeable deficits is bad, telling him the opposite is worse. You take away his chance to change for the better and maybe your true opinion would have given him the motivation to get over his maybe partly genetic problem.




The thing is, he really didn't have any type of over-eating problem. Like I said, he ate very healthy, lots of veggies, and ate around the same calories I did each day. He took karate 3 times a week, and the only thing that I saw was that he wasn't getting enough rigorous exercise. He has terrible genetics, and every one of the women in his family apparently gets twice as big after each pregnancy.


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OfflineIrfan
Stranger

Registered: 09/06/13
Posts: 180
Last seen: 10 years, 2 months
Re: WOULD YOU break up with her for this.....? [Re: Crystal G]
    #19191229 - 11/26/13 10:21 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Man...  My girl weighs less 2 months post pregnancy than she did when I knocked her up.  Hurrah for good genetics.

Quote:

automan said:
In my world, it would've gone like this:

Her: "Don't wear a bathing suit. Your body isn't attractive."
Me: "Oh, sure. Since we are being open, please don't talk to many people tonight. Your friends never say anything, but you always have terrible breath."

Later that night, a conversation will happen that you've already won.




Don't do this by the way..  This dudes relationships are probably perpetual arguments, each person trying to be more poisonous than the other.  It's juvenile; and the comments that you make to each-other don't ever go away, you will end up in a perpetual cycle of ugliness. 

IMO, partners should build each other up, if you don't have that than keep looking till you find it.  it's worth the wait.


Edited by Irfan (11/26/13 10:27 AM)


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Invisibleunknown1123
Experimental

Registered: 05/15/08
Posts: 5,813
Re: WOULD YOU break up with her for this.....? [Re: Crystal G]
    #19191261 - 11/26/13 10:27 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

He was hiding his eating or had a medical problem. If you eat less calories than you burn, you lose weight, no if ands or buts


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OfflineCrystal G
I'm a teapot


Registered: 06/05/07
Posts: 19,584
Loc: outer space
Last seen: 8 months, 30 days
Re: WOULD YOU break up with her for this.....? [Re: unknown1123]
    #19191316 - 11/26/13 10:39 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

unknown1123 said:
He was hiding his eating or had a medical problem. If you eat less calories than you burn, you lose weight, no if ands or buts




No. We lived together. I know what his diet was. And he always took whatever we cooked last night for dinner to lunch the next day.

He did lose a couple pounds, but not nearly as much or I or other people would have on the same diet.


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