every day i am reminded of the horrors in this place.
and for what? for our inability to listen and care about other life.
only I am what is important, my bubble, my thoughts, my interests, is it really so difficult to look outside of oneself and realize that the ego of oneself is not the only thing that matters.
i feel physical pain when confronted with the injustice that i cause, that we cause, that everyone causes. such a simple thing as going to the supermarket to get groceries from money that i worked for hurts me.
because i know that what i consume is paid for in blood by those that by chance have their life's snatched away by circumstantial injustice.
a more concrete example is perhaps this: there was once a stray cat that crawled through my window and slept on my bed while i was asleep, i dont know how many times this happend but one time i woke up before it had left, the cat saw this and ran out the window from my bed in terror. who knows why.
now, where i live one of my friends has severe allergies so we cannot have pets in the house, but there is this stray that comes by and meows , wanting to come inside. i open the door and it runs away, i put some cheese in a bowl outside and it is gone by the morning.
i guess that it is symbolic to where the world is right now.
these chains that bind me, children are dying of starvation, families are freezing to death, whole countries are becoming homeless.
sometime i feel like i dont want to care anymore, like i just want to pretend that everything around me is fine.
we will all die in the end, that is certainly a relief.
it is the suffering that bothers me.
hands to the sky crying why
its faking ridiculous.
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Getting a good burn or otherwise being in unspeakable agony for a (timeless) time seems to evoke the state of mind you seem to currently inhabit. In the depths of unspeakable agony, sorrow, or addiction, we think it will never end and know we'll never forget or be the same. And indeed, probably won't. But life comes one day at a time, and you have to take it that way. Think about it, who can help the helpless, feed the starving, or lead the blind? Those with better circumstances. So use what you have for good, and never forget the little guy. Don't feel guilty, feel empathy. But also, see those who just want to take advantage of kindness, and deal with them accordingly.
Romans 8:18 For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.
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