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Anonymous #1

WOULD YOU break up with her for this.....?
    #19185621 - 11/25/13 06:48 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Basically..

I've been dating a girl for the last few months. Very amazing girl: attractive, great personality.

Basically we were planning on going to a pool party. We have been planning on it for the last week or so. She tells me not to wear a swimming suit. I ask why, and she eventually says because she doesn't want people to be shocked like she was....

I asked her to elaborate, and she ended up saying i have a bad looking body and doesn't want people to be shocked by it. (I am a thin dude)... and after that I realized I dont want to have sex with her anymore, I can't feel comfortable with someone who isn't physically attracted to me...

Even though we were very sexually active, I broke it off for that comment... As I want the freedom to be open and myself, not being around someone who is ashamed to be around me or unwilling to accept my body. I just cant imagine myself wanting to cuddle up against her anymore or have sex with her after she said that.

Anyways... Would it be a breaking point for you?


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InvisibleInto The Woods
Quarantine King
Male

Registered: 04/20/13
Posts: 10,864
Re: WOULD YOU break up with her for this.....? [Re: Anonymous #1] * 4
    #19185639 - 11/25/13 07:00 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

I'd probably have gotten a gym membership.


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Invisiblekoraks
Registered: 06/02/03
Posts: 26,691
Re: WOULD YOU break up with her for this.....? [Re: Anonymous #1] * 1
    #19185642 - 11/25/13 07:00 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

I can't judge if it should be a breaking point, but it sure as hell is a retarded thing of her to say and I would have told her that, too. What kind of disrespectful shit is that? And I agree with you that it doesn't make sense to be with someone who is not attracted to you physically. But as you have been dating for a while now, I would find it hard to imagine that she thinks you're repulsive. Maybe it's just that she thinks men should conform to the (apparent) ideal image of pumped up/muscular and tanned.

Have you asked her directly about what she meant with that comment and how she herself thinks about your body (apart from whatever ideal image she thinks society may have)?


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Anonymous #1

Re: WOULD YOU break up with her for this.....? [Re: koraks]
    #19185657 - 11/25/13 07:07 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

koraks said:
I can't judge if it should be a breaking point, but it sure as hell is a retarded thing of her to say and I would have told her that, too. What kind of disrespectful shit is that? And I agree with you that it doesn't make sense to be with someone who is not attracted to you physically. But as you have been dating for a while now, I would find it hard to imagine that she thinks you're repulsive. Maybe it's just that she thinks men should conform to the (apparent) ideal image of pumped up/muscular and tanned.

Have you asked her directly about what she meant with that comment and how she herself thinks about your body (apart from whatever ideal image she thinks society may have)?



You know.. She obviously doesn't find me repulsive... but, imagine if the script was flipped. A chubby girl is told "don't wear a bikini, because you don't have a good body"... I am certain she wont want to be intimate anymore!

You know... Honestly I didn't let her explain, I've just put up with so much bullshit in the past that I have no time to waste. I am 24, and don't want to waste my young years being stressed out about little shit like this!


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Anonymous #1

Re: WOULD YOU break up with her for this.....? [Re: Into The Woods]
    #19185660 - 11/25/13 07:09 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Into The Woods said:
I'd probably have gotten a gym membership.



Not that easy! Limited time in a limited town. :hahthatsrich:


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Invisiblekoraks
Registered: 06/02/03
Posts: 26,691
Re: WOULD YOU break up with her for this.....? [Re: Anonymous #1] * 1
    #19185690 - 11/25/13 07:26 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

You just wear a swimsuit if you want, regardless of what the girl says. If you're too young to waste time with insignificant shit, then might as well do as you please. So what if you're thin?


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Anonymous #1

Re: WOULD YOU break up with her for this.....? [Re: koraks]
    #19185705 - 11/25/13 07:35 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

koraks said:
You just wear a swimsuit if you want, regardless of what the girl says. If you're too young to waste time with insignificant shit, then might as well do as you please. So what if you're thin?



Quote:

koraks said:
You just wear a swimsuit if you want, regardless of what the girl says. If you're too young to waste time with insignificant shit, then might as well do as you please. So what if you're thin?



Well it is not about the swimsuit. It is about the fact that I don't feel like I can comfortably be intimate with her again.... thus making the relationship a dead end


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Invisiblekoraks
Registered: 06/02/03
Posts: 26,691
Re: WOULD YOU break up with her for this.....? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #19185718 - 11/25/13 07:40 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Well, then you decided. Although I'd suggest talking to her about it before you break up with her. Having someone do a shitty thing like this to you sucks, but it's worse to not allow them to explain why they did it. More importantly, getting some insight in why she did this may help you decide if she's a bitch or just misguided.


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OfflinePatlal
You ask too many questions
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Registered: 10/09/10
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Re: WOULD YOU break up with her for this.....? [Re: koraks]
    #19185893 - 11/25/13 08:41 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

She was "shocked" by your body.

That's a very strong word to use. How thin are you exactly? Post a pic maybe?

It's definitely a shitty thing to say to somebody though. If you felt like you had to break up, then you did good I guess. Who knows, maybe she she wanted to break up with you and didn't have the guts so she deliberately said that because she knew if would make you break up with her. Anyway, you could spin this a thousand ways.

Also, pic of the shockingly thin body would be appreciated.


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InvisibleJesusGoneRogue
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Registered: 10/24/10
Posts: 9,495
Re: WOULD YOU break up with her for this.....? *DELETED* [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #19186091 - 11/25/13 09:44 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Post deleted by JesusGoneRogue

Reason for deletion: ;



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OfflineIrfan
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Registered: 09/06/13
Posts: 180
Last seen: 10 years, 2 months
Re: WOULD YOU break up with her for this.....? [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #19186197 - 11/25/13 10:13 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

It's a superficial thing to say no doubtt.  Sure in a perfect world she would take pride in her partner and not care what other people think..

Frankly, my opinion could go either-way.  Your reasons for breaking it off are rational, and if you don't want to deal with that kind of attitude I get it..  I have left people for less, knowing what you want is important.  On the other hand if you wanted to open up the communication a little bit, and tell her how the comment affected you, I think that could be a good idea too depending how close/serious the relationship is...


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Offlineempty space
the void

Registered: 12/19/12
Posts: 1,120
Last seen: 6 years, 11 months
Re: WOULD YOU break up with her for this.....? [Re: Irfan]
    #19186220 - 11/25/13 10:17 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Irfan said:
Your reasons for breaking it off are rational, and if you don't want to deal with that kind of attitude I get it..  I have left people for less, knowing what you want is important..



QFT


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Invisiblememes
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Registered: 01/11/05
Posts: 27,785
Loc: In a Tree
Re: WOULD YOU break up with her for this.....? [Re: Irfan]
    #19186230 - 11/25/13 10:19 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

OP, you were fine in your actions.  Sounds like your girl doesn't have her head all straight.  but you do :smile:


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OfflineThe5thElement
Smile Friends :)
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Registered: 07/01/12
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Re: WOULD YOU break up with her for this.....? [Re: memes]
    #19186940 - 11/25/13 01:06 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Man if some girl said that too me I'd be both offended and pissed off, I wouldn't stay with her fuck that. Maybe she doesn't understand the gravity of what she said but that's pretty fucked up and disrespectful.


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OfflineSurreal
Tough puffin' wizard


Registered: 11/23/13
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Re: WOULD YOU break up with her for this.....? [Re: The5thElement]
    #19186996 - 11/25/13 01:20 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

I would have waited to break up with her so I could wear the swimsuit and hook up with 1 or 2 of her friends. Boom!


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OfflineMurzelpfrumpft
pet donkey in a lucid dream

Registered: 08/09/12
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Re: WOULD YOU break up with her for this.....? [Re: Surreal]
    #19187123 - 11/25/13 01:52 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

People are like that, even though they don't always admit it.

Dump her because she's superficial, and see if you can find other women. If you can't consider going to the gym to avoid discovering that almost every  good looking woman is hooked on that ideal of the muscular male.

I think one should always try to meet at the same level of attractivity in all concerns. If you feel like your partner is a little more attractive at that time, do something about your own attraction.

btw I'm pretty skinny, too and not all chicks are like that. Some even think filigree wristes like mine are hot. So I just majorly stick to them and do as much fitness as my overall health requires.


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InvisibleshLong
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Registered: 03/04/10
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Re: WOULD YOU break up with her for this.....? [Re: Murzelpfrumpft] * 1
    #19187871 - 11/25/13 05:00 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Shit, man... Sorry you had to deal with that..

Tough call. I, personally, would probably leave her after that.


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Offlinebrianstequila
Sir John Falstaff
Male


Registered: 05/20/13
Posts: 526
Last seen: 3 years, 4 months
Re: WOULD YOU break up with her for this.....? [Re: JesusGoneRogue]
    #19188130 - 11/25/13 05:59 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

JesusGoneRogue said:
dude i live in Goddard Ks. literally the middle of fucking nowhere. do some pushups




Lmfao, I miss the sierra lounge, back to the point if it offended you then fuck her. I agree with you 100% you cant be with someone if they make odd comments like that.


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Every citizen should be a soldier. This was the case with the Greeks and Romans, and must be that of every free state.
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Anonymous #2

Re: WOULD YOU break up with her for this.....? [Re: brianstequila]
    #19188361 - 11/25/13 06:42 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

So what happened?


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Offlineempty space
the void

Registered: 12/19/12
Posts: 1,120
Last seen: 6 years, 11 months
Re: WOULD YOU break up with her for this.....? [Re: Murzelpfrumpft]
    #19188550 - 11/25/13 07:11 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Murzelpfrumpft said:
If you can't consider going to the gym to avoid discovering that almost every  good looking woman is hooked on that ideal of the muscular male.




Why are you surprised that attractive women that take time to get fit would won't an attractive male who also takes the time to get fit? I don't think that it is superficial to want a good looking mate, especially if you consider yourself to be attractive.


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