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Anonymous #1
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WOULD YOU break up with her for this.....?
#19185621 - 11/25/13 06:48 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Basically..
I've been dating a girl for the last few months. Very amazing girl: attractive, great personality.
Basically we were planning on going to a pool party. We have been planning on it for the last week or so. She tells me not to wear a swimming suit. I ask why, and she eventually says because she doesn't want people to be shocked like she was....
I asked her to elaborate, and she ended up saying i have a bad looking body and doesn't want people to be shocked by it. (I am a thin dude)... and after that I realized I dont want to have sex with her anymore, I can't feel comfortable with someone who isn't physically attracted to me...
Even though we were very sexually active, I broke it off for that comment... As I want the freedom to be open and myself, not being around someone who is ashamed to be around me or unwilling to accept my body. I just cant imagine myself wanting to cuddle up against her anymore or have sex with her after she said that.
Anyways... Would it be a breaking point for you?
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Into The Woods
Quarantine King


Registered: 04/20/13
Posts: 10,864
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Re: WOULD YOU break up with her for this.....? [Re: Anonymous #1] 4
#19185639 - 11/25/13 07:00 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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I'd probably have gotten a gym membership.
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koraks
Registered: 06/02/03
Posts: 26,672
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Re: WOULD YOU break up with her for this.....? [Re: Anonymous #1] 1
#19185642 - 11/25/13 07:00 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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I can't judge if it should be a breaking point, but it sure as hell is a retarded thing of her to say and I would have told her that, too. What kind of disrespectful shit is that? And I agree with you that it doesn't make sense to be with someone who is not attracted to you physically. But as you have been dating for a while now, I would find it hard to imagine that she thinks you're repulsive. Maybe it's just that she thinks men should conform to the (apparent) ideal image of pumped up/muscular and tanned.
Have you asked her directly about what she meant with that comment and how she herself thinks about your body (apart from whatever ideal image she thinks society may have)?
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Anonymous #1
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Re: WOULD YOU break up with her for this.....? [Re: koraks]
#19185657 - 11/25/13 07:07 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
koraks said: I can't judge if it should be a breaking point, but it sure as hell is a retarded thing of her to say and I would have told her that, too. What kind of disrespectful shit is that? And I agree with you that it doesn't make sense to be with someone who is not attracted to you physically. But as you have been dating for a while now, I would find it hard to imagine that she thinks you're repulsive. Maybe it's just that she thinks men should conform to the (apparent) ideal image of pumped up/muscular and tanned.
Have you asked her directly about what she meant with that comment and how she herself thinks about your body (apart from whatever ideal image she thinks society may have)?
You know.. She obviously doesn't find me repulsive... but, imagine if the script was flipped. A chubby girl is told "don't wear a bikini, because you don't have a good body"... I am certain she wont want to be intimate anymore!
You know... Honestly I didn't let her explain, I've just put up with so much bullshit in the past that I have no time to waste. I am 24, and don't want to waste my young years being stressed out about little shit like this!
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Anonymous #1
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Re: WOULD YOU break up with her for this.....? [Re: Into The Woods]
#19185660 - 11/25/13 07:09 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
Into The Woods said: I'd probably have gotten a gym membership.
Not that easy! Limited time in a limited town.
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koraks
Registered: 06/02/03
Posts: 26,672
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Re: WOULD YOU break up with her for this.....? [Re: Anonymous #1] 1
#19185690 - 11/25/13 07:26 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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You just wear a swimsuit if you want, regardless of what the girl says. If you're too young to waste time with insignificant shit, then might as well do as you please. So what if you're thin?
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Anonymous #1
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Re: WOULD YOU break up with her for this.....? [Re: koraks]
#19185705 - 11/25/13 07:35 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
koraks said: You just wear a swimsuit if you want, regardless of what the girl says. If you're too young to waste time with insignificant shit, then might as well do as you please. So what if you're thin?
Quote:
koraks said: You just wear a swimsuit if you want, regardless of what the girl says. If you're too young to waste time with insignificant shit, then might as well do as you please. So what if you're thin?
Well it is not about the swimsuit. It is about the fact that I don't feel like I can comfortably be intimate with her again.... thus making the relationship a dead end
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koraks
Registered: 06/02/03
Posts: 26,672
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Re: WOULD YOU break up with her for this.....? [Re: Anonymous #1]
#19185718 - 11/25/13 07:40 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Well, then you decided. Although I'd suggest talking to her about it before you break up with her. Having someone do a shitty thing like this to you sucks, but it's worse to not allow them to explain why they did it. More importantly, getting some insight in why she did this may help you decide if she's a bitch or just misguided.
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Patlal
You ask too many questions



Registered: 10/09/10
Posts: 44,797
Loc: Ottawa
Last seen: 1 hour, 5 minutes
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Re: WOULD YOU break up with her for this.....? [Re: koraks]
#19185893 - 11/25/13 08:41 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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She was "shocked" by your body.
That's a very strong word to use. How thin are you exactly? Post a pic maybe?
It's definitely a shitty thing to say to somebody though. If you felt like you had to break up, then you did good I guess. Who knows, maybe she she wanted to break up with you and didn't have the guts so she deliberately said that because she knew if would make you break up with her. Anyway, you could spin this a thousand ways.
Also, pic of the shockingly thin body would be appreciated.
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JesusGoneRogue


Registered: 10/24/10
Posts: 9,495
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Re: WOULD YOU break up with her for this.....? *DELETED* [Re: Anonymous #1]
#19186091 - 11/25/13 09:44 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Post deleted by JesusGoneRogueReason for deletion: ;
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Irfan
Stranger

Registered: 09/06/13
Posts: 180
Last seen: 10 years, 1 month
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Re: WOULD YOU break up with her for this.....? [Re: Anonymous #1]
#19186197 - 11/25/13 10:13 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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It's a superficial thing to say no doubtt. Sure in a perfect world she would take pride in her partner and not care what other people think..
Frankly, my opinion could go either-way. Your reasons for breaking it off are rational, and if you don't want to deal with that kind of attitude I get it.. I have left people for less, knowing what you want is important. On the other hand if you wanted to open up the communication a little bit, and tell her how the comment affected you, I think that could be a good idea too depending how close/serious the relationship is...
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empty space
the void

Registered: 12/19/12
Posts: 1,120
Last seen: 6 years, 10 months
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Re: WOULD YOU break up with her for this.....? [Re: Irfan]
#19186220 - 11/25/13 10:17 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
Irfan said: Your reasons for breaking it off are rational, and if you don't want to deal with that kind of attitude I get it.. I have left people for less, knowing what you want is important..
QFT
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memes
Blessed



Registered: 01/11/05
Posts: 27,785
Loc: In a Tree
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Re: WOULD YOU break up with her for this.....? [Re: Irfan]
#19186230 - 11/25/13 10:19 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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OP, you were fine in your actions. Sounds like your girl doesn't have her head all straight. but you do
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The5thElement
Smile Friends :)



Registered: 07/01/12
Posts: 4,675
Loc: Canada
Last seen: 7 years, 1 month
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Re: WOULD YOU break up with her for this.....? [Re: memes]
#19186940 - 11/25/13 01:06 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Man if some girl said that too me I'd be both offended and pissed off, I wouldn't stay with her fuck that. Maybe she doesn't understand the gravity of what she said but that's pretty fucked up and disrespectful.
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Surreal
Tough puffin' wizard


Registered: 11/23/13
Posts: 13
Last seen: 7 years, 9 months
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Re: WOULD YOU break up with her for this.....? [Re: The5thElement]
#19186996 - 11/25/13 01:20 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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I would have waited to break up with her so I could wear the swimsuit and hook up with 1 or 2 of her friends. Boom!
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Murzelpfrumpft
pet donkey in a lucid dream

Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 1,855
Last seen: 1 month, 27 days
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Re: WOULD YOU break up with her for this.....? [Re: Surreal]
#19187123 - 11/25/13 01:52 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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People are like that, even though they don't always admit it.
Dump her because she's superficial, and see if you can find other women. If you can't consider going to the gym to avoid discovering that almost every good looking woman is hooked on that ideal of the muscular male.
I think one should always try to meet at the same level of attractivity in all concerns. If you feel like your partner is a little more attractive at that time, do something about your own attraction.
btw I'm pretty skinny, too and not all chicks are like that. Some even think filigree wristes like mine are hot. So I just majorly stick to them and do as much fitness as my overall health requires.
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shLong



Registered: 03/04/10
Posts: 25,330
Loc: 'sconsin
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Re: WOULD YOU break up with her for this.....? [Re: Murzelpfrumpft] 1
#19187871 - 11/25/13 05:00 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Shit, man... Sorry you had to deal with that..
Tough call. I, personally, would probably leave her after that.
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brianstequila
Sir John Falstaff



Registered: 05/20/13
Posts: 526
Last seen: 3 years, 3 months
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Re: WOULD YOU break up with her for this.....? [Re: JesusGoneRogue]
#19188130 - 11/25/13 05:59 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
JesusGoneRogue said: dude i live in Goddard Ks. literally the middle of fucking nowhere. do some pushups
Lmfao, I miss the sierra lounge, back to the point if it offended you then fuck her. I agree with you 100% you cant be with someone if they make odd comments like that.
-------------------- Every citizen should be a soldier. This was the case with the Greeks and Romans, and must be that of every free state. Thomas Jefferson Not My trade list i aint got shit anymore
http://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Number/19161913
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Anonymous #2
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Re: WOULD YOU break up with her for this.....? [Re: brianstequila]
#19188361 - 11/25/13 06:42 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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So what happened?
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empty space
the void

Registered: 12/19/12
Posts: 1,120
Last seen: 6 years, 10 months
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Re: WOULD YOU break up with her for this.....? [Re: Murzelpfrumpft]
#19188550 - 11/25/13 07:11 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
Murzelpfrumpft said: If you can't consider going to the gym to avoid discovering that almost every good looking woman is hooked on that ideal of the muscular male.
Why are you surprised that attractive women that take time to get fit would won't an attractive male who also takes the time to get fit? I don't think that it is superficial to want a good looking mate, especially if you consider yourself to be attractive.
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automan
blasted chipmunk


Registered: 09/18/03
Posts: 8,272
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Re: WOULD YOU break up with her for this.....? [Re: Anonymous #1]
#19188561 - 11/25/13 07:14 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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In my world, it would've gone like this:
Her: "Don't wear a bathing suit. Your body isn't attractive." Me: "Oh, sure. Since we are being open, please don't talk to many people tonight. Your friends never say anything, but you always have terrible breath."
Later that night, a conversation will happen that you've already won.
-------------------- No, no, you're not thinking, you're just being logical. ~ Niels Bohr
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Crystal G



Registered: 06/05/07
Posts: 19,584
Loc: outer space
Last seen: 8 months, 6 days
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Re: WOULD YOU break up with her for this.....? [Re: empty space] 1
#19188594 - 11/25/13 07:21 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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My last ex was a little bit out of shape, and I was actually a little bit embarrassed whenever we were seen at the beach or the pool together and he had his shirt off. Especially when he was around my other friends who were very fit. It's like people were wondering, "What's she doing with HIM?"
But, I never once told him about how I really felt. I didn't want his feelings to be hurt, so I never said anything or told him what to wear. I told him he looked sexy all the time (a bold-faced lie lol) to try to boost his self-esteem.
Eventually he saw how into the gym I was, and started coming with me. I never once asked him to start coming with me, but once he started coming, I made suggestions on how he should eat, since he mentioned he wanted to lose weight. He ate a low calorie, low carb diet. But his body never changed, even after 6 months of this type of eating. I guess at that point I just realized that he couldn't help it, he was genetically that weight. We both ate exactly the same calories despite me being 80lbs less than him, and while he lost some weight, it was not nearly as much as I thought it would be. My body on the other hand, changes overnight with a quick diet and workout routine. Apparently his entire family is obese and he's basically the skinniest one out of them.
There's nothing wrong with being thin. At least you aren't overweight or have like 20lbs of love handles hanging from each side. That would be way worse. I wouldn't mind a thin guy, at all. Her reaction was not good at all, especially the way she put you down like that. IDK if it's worth breaking up over, but tell her how she made you feel, and if this is a repetitive pattern that she does, by calling you out on your shortcomings, then break up with her.
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shLong



Registered: 03/04/10
Posts: 25,330
Loc: 'sconsin
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Re: WOULD YOU break up with her for this.....? [Re: Crystal G]
#19188674 - 11/25/13 07:33 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
Crystal G said: I told him he looked sexy all the time (a bold-faced lie lol)
Man... CG... That was a horribly placed "lol"
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Crystal G



Registered: 06/05/07
Posts: 19,584
Loc: outer space
Last seen: 8 months, 6 days
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Re: WOULD YOU break up with her for this.....? [Re: shLong] 1
#19188789 - 11/25/13 07:54 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
shLong said: Man... CG... That was a horribly placed "lol" 
I was just laughing because I was just imagining him reading this and going "WTFFFFFFFFFF" and freaking the fuck out at the computer. He used to stalk my Shroomery posts while we were dating and didn't tell me until like 7 months later. I doubt he still reads through my shit anymore, but if he does, he's going to find a pleasant surprise! LOL
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Anonymous #2
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Re: WOULD YOU break up with her for this.....? [Re: empty space]
#19188806 - 11/25/13 07:58 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
empty space said:
Quote:
Murzelpfrumpft said: If you can't consider going to the gym to avoid discovering that almost every good looking woman is hooked on that ideal of the muscular male.
Why are you surprised that attractive women that take time to get fit would won't an attractive male who also takes the time to get fit? I don't think that it is superficial to want a good looking mate, especially if you consider yourself to be attractive.
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Anonymous #1
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Re: WOULD YOU break up with her for this.....? [Re: Anonymous #2]
#19188844 - 11/25/13 08:09 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Im not surprised. But im not a fan of wasting time. Sure she is atractive and goes to the gym daily.. my lifestyle is different but she is the one who decided to continue dating me.
I dont believe the whole "date in your league" mentality. It is a loosers mentality. She is model level... im not stereotypically attractive, but that doesnt change i could get her, or another girl just as attractive. I didnt appreciate her rudeness so i broke it off. Life goes on
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Beside the Garden


Registered: 06/03/13
Posts: 606
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Re: WOULD YOU break up with her for this.....? [Re: Anonymous #2]
#19188852 - 11/25/13 08:13 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Something got said that you can't unhear and she can't really take back. You now know the shallow depths of her water, this reflects on her not you. It's malignant and your probably better off cutting this out, symptomatic of whats to come. In time this breakup might even serve her well.
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Crystal G



Registered: 06/05/07
Posts: 19,584
Loc: outer space
Last seen: 8 months, 6 days
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Re: WOULD YOU break up with her for this.....? [Re: Anonymous #1]
#19189170 - 11/25/13 09:32 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
Anonymous said: Im not surprised. But im not a fan of wasting time. Sure she is atractive and goes to the gym daily.. my lifestyle is different but she is the one who decided to continue dating me.
Well, then maybe you shouldn't complain when you realize your girlfriend is attractive but rather superficial. You are the one that chose to date her. Well, I guess technically you decided not to anymore. Good for you.
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Crystal G



Registered: 06/05/07
Posts: 19,584
Loc: outer space
Last seen: 8 months, 6 days
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Re: WOULD YOU break up with her for this.....? [Re: Crystal G]
#19189178 - 11/25/13 09:34 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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OP, maybe this is a learning lesson for you. When you go only for good looks, you sometimes end up with a bitch who is always trying to change you, or has superficial values. To say that you intend to go for another model quality girl makes me wonder whether she is the one who is superficial, or whether you are.
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shLong



Registered: 03/04/10
Posts: 25,330
Loc: 'sconsin
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Re: WOULD YOU break up with her for this.....? [Re: Crystal G] 1
#19189227 - 11/25/13 09:44 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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I'd enjoy a pic of OP's lady.
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Yippie
Happystance


Registered: 09/17/08
Posts: 260
Last seen: 8 years, 6 days
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Re: WOULD YOU break up with her for this.....? [Re: Anonymous #1]
#19189300 - 11/25/13 10:01 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
Anonymous said: Basically..
I've been dating a girl for the last few months. Very amazing girl: attractive, great personality.
Basically we were planning on going to a pool party. We have been planning on it for the last week or so. She tells me not to wear a swimming suit. I ask why, and she eventually says because she doesn't want people to be shocked like she was....
I asked her to elaborate, and she ended up saying i have a bad looking body and doesn't want people to be shocked by it. (I am a thin dude)... and after that I realized I dont want to have sex with her anymore, I can't feel comfortable with someone who isn't physically attracted to me...
Even though we were very sexually active, I broke it off for that comment... As I want the freedom to be open and myself, not being around someone who is ashamed to be around me or unwilling to accept my body. I just cant imagine myself wanting to cuddle up against her anymore or have sex with her after she said that.
Anyways... Would it be a breaking point for you?
For me - that's a deal breaker right there - fuck that - your sense of self has to be pretty skewed to want to stay with her (if in fact you do).
-------------------- "Just living molecule to molecule"
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Anonymous #1
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Re: WOULD YOU break up with her for this.....? [Re: Crystal G] 1
#19189320 - 11/25/13 10:07 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
Crystal G said: OP, maybe this is a learning lesson for you. When you go only for good looks, you sometimes end up with a bitch who is always trying to change you, or has superficial values. To say that you intend to go for another model quality girl makes me wonder whether she is the one who is superficial, or whether you are.
oh bit of a misunderstanding. I didnt go for her soley by her appearance... i was responding to someone who posted that i should date girls as attractive as me. I was just making the point that it is a bullshit mentality. But with this girl... i really had no idea she would say anything like that... i was surprised very much, but then again we were in the early stages... and thats the beauty of getting to know someone before dating too seriously.. to see their true colors.
i was just making a point earlier not to settle for something you dont want because you arent good looking by societys standards.
Edited by Anonymous (11/25/13 10:09 PM)
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empty space
the void

Registered: 12/19/12
Posts: 1,120
Last seen: 6 years, 10 months
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Re: WOULD YOU break up with her for this.....? [Re: Anonymous #1]
#19190448 - 11/26/13 04:22 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
Anonymous said: i was responding to someone who posted that i should date girls as attractive as me.
You misunderstand me. I said that if a girl frequents the gym, it shouldn't be surprising if she wants a buff muscular guy. I never said that you should date girls as attractive as you, and from the way you say that, it doesn't seem like you find yourself very attractive, which isn't very attractive. Look, if you can nail models, go for it brother. More power to you. Just don't be surprised if you end up with superficial girls who feel just as unattractive inside as you do.
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Crystal G



Registered: 06/05/07
Posts: 19,584
Loc: outer space
Last seen: 8 months, 6 days
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Re: WOULD YOU break up with her for this.....? [Re: empty space]
#19190527 - 11/26/13 05:27 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
empty space said: You misunderstand me. I said that if a girl frequents the gym, it shouldn't be surprising if she wants a buff muscular guy. I never said that you should date girls as attractive as you, and from the way you say that, it doesn't seem like you find yourself very attractive, which isn't very attractive. Look, if you can nail models, go for it brother. More power to you. Just don't be surprised if you end up with superficial girls who feel just as unattractive inside as you do.
Yea that's sort of my point too. A lot of guys go only for looks and then they wonder why they end up with vain, narcissistic, superficial, nasty, bitchy, mean, women who always only want them to buy expensive stuff. Like... duhhhhh!!! It's because you're dating the female douchebag!
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Murzelpfrumpft
pet donkey in a lucid dream

Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 1,855
Last seen: 1 month, 27 days
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Re: WOULD YOU break up with her for this.....? [Re: Anonymous #1]
#19190609 - 11/26/13 06:39 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
Anonymous said: I dont believe the whole "date in your league" mentality. It is a loosers mentality. She is model level... im not stereotypically attractive, but that doesnt change i could get her, or another girl just as attractive.
Kinda weird not to believe that when your beliefs have been proven wrong recently. Apparently you don't meet her expectations and therefore you can not get her because you don't want a girl that's not physically attracted to you. So, "date in your league" or deal with the consequences, which boil down exactly to what you experienced.
@Crystal:
I think hiding your opinion about your partners changeable deficits is bad, telling him the opposite is worse. You take away his chance to change for the better and maybe your true opinion would have given him the motivation to get over his maybe partly genetic problem.
By the way the equation is easy: standard consumption + muscle mass = need of calories per day
If you meet your needs, your weight stays the same, if you don't you lose weight and if you consume more you gain weight.
Therefore being obese is NEVER a matter of genetics. A low need of calories plus superpropotional feeling of hunger might be genetic, but you will have to eat TOO MUCH to become fat.
Obviously your ex had a not much higher need of calories than you had. Eat less or eat the same + get some lbs of muscle mass = losing weight.
It really is that easy.
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Anonymous #1
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Re: WOULD YOU break up with her for this.....? [Re: Murzelpfrumpft]
#19190650 - 11/26/13 07:04 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
Murzelpfrumpft said:
Quote:
Anonymous said: I dont believe the whole "date in your league" mentality. It is a loosers mentality. She is model level... im not stereotypically attractive, but that doesnt change i could get her, or another girl just as attractive.
Kinda weird not to believe that when your beliefs have been proven wrong recently. Apparently you don't meet her expectations and therefore you can not get her because you don't want a girl that's not physically attracted to you. So, "date in your league" or deal with the consequences, which boil down exactly to what you experienced.
@Crystal:
I think hiding your opinion about your partners changeable deficits is bad, telling him the opposite is worse. You take away his chance to change for the better and maybe your true opinion would have given him the motivation to get over his maybe partly genetic problem.
By the way the equation is easy: standard consumption + muscle mass = need of calories per day
If you meet your needs, your weight stays the same, if you don't you lose weight and if you consume more you gain weight.
Therefore being obese is NEVER a matter of genetics. A low need of calories plus superpropotional feeling of hunger might be genetic, but you will have to eat TOO MUCH to become fat.
Obviously your ex had a not much higher need of calories than you had. Eat less or eat the same + get some lbs of muscle mass = losing weight.
It really is that easy.
I don't believe it... As I have always dated very attractive girls. I could have easily kept her, she was devastated when I broke up with her. She was getting seriously about me. It boils down to a bitchy attitude that I wont deal with, even if I lived up to her standards of looks... the bitchy attitude would still unearth.
I don't see this as being proven wrong at all. This isn't about looks at all in my eyes. It is about respect and attitude. I just wanted to put this past you guys to see if I was being rash.
Edited by Anonymous (11/26/13 07:07 AM)
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Crystal G



Registered: 06/05/07
Posts: 19,584
Loc: outer space
Last seen: 8 months, 6 days
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Re: WOULD YOU break up with her for this.....? [Re: Murzelpfrumpft]
#19190701 - 11/26/13 07:27 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
Murzelpfrumpft said: @Crystal:
I think hiding your opinion about your partners changeable deficits is bad, telling him the opposite is worse. You take away his chance to change for the better and maybe your true opinion would have given him the motivation to get over his maybe partly genetic problem.
The thing is, he really didn't have any type of over-eating problem. Like I said, he ate very healthy, lots of veggies, and ate around the same calories I did each day. He took karate 3 times a week, and the only thing that I saw was that he wasn't getting enough rigorous exercise. He has terrible genetics, and every one of the women in his family apparently gets twice as big after each pregnancy.
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Irfan
Stranger

Registered: 09/06/13
Posts: 180
Last seen: 10 years, 1 month
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Re: WOULD YOU break up with her for this.....? [Re: Crystal G]
#19191229 - 11/26/13 10:21 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Man... My girl weighs less 2 months post pregnancy than she did when I knocked her up. Hurrah for good genetics.
Quote:
automan said: In my world, it would've gone like this:
Her: "Don't wear a bathing suit. Your body isn't attractive." Me: "Oh, sure. Since we are being open, please don't talk to many people tonight. Your friends never say anything, but you always have terrible breath."
Later that night, a conversation will happen that you've already won.
Don't do this by the way.. This dudes relationships are probably perpetual arguments, each person trying to be more poisonous than the other. It's juvenile; and the comments that you make to each-other don't ever go away, you will end up in a perpetual cycle of ugliness.
IMO, partners should build each other up, if you don't have that than keep looking till you find it. it's worth the wait.
Edited by Irfan (11/26/13 10:27 AM)
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unknown1123
Experimental

Registered: 05/15/08
Posts: 5,813
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Re: WOULD YOU break up with her for this.....? [Re: Crystal G]
#19191261 - 11/26/13 10:27 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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He was hiding his eating or had a medical problem. If you eat less calories than you burn, you lose weight, no if ands or buts
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Crystal G



Registered: 06/05/07
Posts: 19,584
Loc: outer space
Last seen: 8 months, 6 days
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Re: WOULD YOU break up with her for this.....? [Re: unknown1123]
#19191316 - 11/26/13 10:39 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
unknown1123 said: He was hiding his eating or had a medical problem. If you eat less calories than you burn, you lose weight, no if ands or buts
No. We lived together. I know what his diet was. And he always took whatever we cooked last night for dinner to lunch the next day.
He did lose a couple pounds, but not nearly as much or I or other people would have on the same diet.
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Murzelpfrumpft
pet donkey in a lucid dream

Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 1,855
Last seen: 1 month, 27 days
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Re: WOULD YOU break up with her for this.....? [Re: Crystal G]
#19192939 - 11/26/13 04:38 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
Crystal G said: He did lose a couple pounds, but not nearly as much or I or other people would have on the same diet.
Yeah it's just harder. Too hard for many people like that.
But becoming fat during pregnancy is a whole other phenomenon in my eyes.
Seen this on several women, they say "now I have to eat for two people" and stuff everything into their mouths. For sure hard to determine if you are actually gaining fat when you're constantly bloated and gaining weight. Most might be concerned to provide their baby with proper nutrients, I can totally see how coming out twice as big happens easily.
Body cult really sucks. And I'm obviously on the winning side...
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Envix
Avoidant Disorder



Registered: 11/04/08
Posts: 18,206
Last seen: 9 months, 24 days
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Re: WOULD YOU break up with her for this.....? [Re: Murzelpfrumpft]
#19200334 - 11/28/13 11:25 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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superficial women are uglier than fat girls. you can do better, OP. find yourself a nice big fatty
-------------------- smack a hoe out this dimension continue my ascension -bhad bhabie rip. todcasil, acid sloth, st1llnox, zappaisgod, big worm (sketch), tim b
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Anonymous #3
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Re: WOULD YOU break up with her for this.....? [Re: Patlal]
#19201213 - 11/28/13 03:11 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
Patlal said: She was "shocked" by your body.
That's a very strong word to use. How thin are you exactly? Post a pic maybe?
I'd also like to see what shockingly thin looks like.
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Boss Figga
Hip Hop Enthusiast


Registered: 01/07/13
Posts: 10
Last seen: 10 years, 1 month
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Re: WOULD YOU break up with her for this.....? [Re: Into The Woods]
#19203644 - 11/29/13 05:25 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
Into The Woods said: I'd probably have gotten a gym membership.
He should be hitting the gym to improve himself not to meet someones standards.
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lonelypsychonaut
Stranger

Registered: 07/23/12
Posts: 810
Last seen: 6 years, 11 months
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Re: WOULD YOU break up with her for this.....? [Re: Boss Figga]
#19205387 - 11/29/13 03:48 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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I haven't read any of the responses, but here's my personal answer.
I probably wouldn't break up with the girl JUST because of that. If she's a great girl why would you throw her away just because of a comment? If I were you I would've talked it all through with her to understand all the issues and what can be done to fix them. You could "hit the gym" and try to get in shape, but I wouldn't suggest it unless it's something YOU want to do. Or another way to look at it (the way I would look at it, cause I'm a very thin dude as well) is if you're comfortable with your own body the comment shouldn't have mattered at all. I would've shrugged it off cause I don't even care if I'm really thin, it's just who I am.
If she can't accept you for who you are, inside and out, then she shouldn't be with you anyway. If YOU can't accept you for who you are, then like I said, maybe you should try to get in shape to improve yourself.
Hope I helped
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Anonymous #1
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Re: WOULD YOU break up with her for this.....? [Re: lonelypsychonaut] 1
#19206271 - 11/29/13 08:07 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
lonelypsychonaut said: I haven't read any of the responses, but here's my personal answer.
I probably wouldn't break up with the girl JUST because of that. If she's a great girl why would you throw her away just because of a comment? If I were you I would've talked it all through with her to understand all the issues and what can be done to fix them. You could "hit the gym" and try to get in shape, but I wouldn't suggest it unless it's something YOU want to do. Or another way to look at it (the way I would look at it, cause I'm a very thin dude as well) is if you're comfortable with your own body the comment shouldn't have mattered at all. I would've shrugged it off cause I don't even care if I'm really thin, it's just who I am.
If she can't accept you for who you are, inside and out, then she shouldn't be with you anyway. If YOU can't accept you for who you are, then like I said, maybe you should try to get in shape to improve yourself.
Hope I helped 
You know... It wasn't the comment that bugged me.. It was the disrespectful way it was said.... as if she was ashamed of me. And she basically straight up said she isn't attracted to be, so it makes the whole idea of intimacy much less desirable. I cant imagine wanting to cuddle with her, have sex, or just be comfortable around someone who is so judgmental of my shape.
I'm a thin tall guy... 6'2 at 150 lbs... I accept it, I used to work out but due to a few factors I've had to put that on hold the last few months. 6 months or so. You guys are right... If I go to the gym it is for me, no one else.
Anways.. I did shrug it off, it was the disrespect and fact that she is ashamed to be seen around me shirtless with her friends that makes me reconsider.
I'm still talking to her... But have rejected hanging out with her for this week... I just need some space to figure out if someone like that has the privilege of being a part of my life.
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The5thElement
Smile Friends :)



Registered: 07/01/12
Posts: 4,675
Loc: Canada
Last seen: 7 years, 1 month
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Re: WOULD YOU break up with her for this.....? [Re: Anonymous #1]
#19209142 - 11/30/13 04:06 PM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
Anonymous said:
You know... It wasn't the comment that bugged me.. It was the disrespectful way it was said.... as if she was ashamed of me. And she basically straight up said she isn't attracted to be, so it makes the whole idea of intimacy much less desirable. I cant imagine wanting to cuddle with her, have sex, or just be comfortable around someone who is so judgmental of my shape.
I'm a thin tall guy... 6'2 at 150 lbs... I accept it, I used to work out but due to a few factors I've had to put that on hold the last few months. 6 months or so. You guys are right... If I go to the gym it is for me, no one else.
Anways.. I did shrug it off, it was the disrespect and fact that she is ashamed to be seen around me shirtless with her friends that makes me reconsider.
I'm still talking to her... But have rejected hanging out with her for this week... I just need some space to figure out if someone like that has the privilege of being a part of my life.
Fuck yeah, good for you. Every thing you just said there is 100%, pure awesomeness.
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Biodiversity
(323)654-6192

Registered: 05/15/11
Posts: 1,000
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Re: WOULD YOU break up with her for this.....? [Re: The5thElement]
#19209205 - 11/30/13 04:28 PM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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Go naked, that will show her.
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the_hatter
half mad

Registered: 04/18/10
Posts: 753
Last seen: 7 years, 10 months
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Re: WOULD YOU break up with her for this.....? [Re: Biodiversity]
#19209478 - 11/30/13 06:00 PM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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idk man, I feel like if shes with you it must not really bother her that much. that however doesn't mean her friends wouldn't think less of you for it. maybe she hangs out with a superficial crowd and she wants them to like you, we've all got friends that are assholes but we like them anyway. idk its really weird she said surprising though, you can see a skinny guy is skinny with his shirt on
I really do applaud you for your reaction though, you seem like a very mentally healthy confident guy. good on you
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lonelypsychonaut
Stranger

Registered: 07/23/12
Posts: 810
Last seen: 6 years, 11 months
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Re: WOULD YOU break up with her for this.....? [Re: Anonymous #1]
#19211731 - 12/01/13 09:46 AM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
Anonymous said:
I'm a thin tall guy... 6'2 at 150 lbs...
well then lucky you, I'm 5'8 at 110 lbs maybe I should go to the gym
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Kalypto
Psychonaut



Registered: 09/19/12
Posts: 2,089
Last seen: 1 year, 11 months
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Im skinny as fuck like boney skinny , I take my shirt off and girls are basically all over me touching me cause of my tattoos
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Anonymous #1
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Re: WOULD YOU break up with her for this.....? [Re: Kalypto]
#19215996 - 12/02/13 05:57 AM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
Kalypto said: Im skinny as fuck like boney skinny , I take my shirt off and girls are basically all over me touching me cause of my tattoos
Pics? I'd like to see some cool tatts!
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badchad
Mad Scientist

Registered: 03/02/05
Posts: 13,372
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Re: WOULD YOU break up with her for this.....? [Re: Anonymous #1]
#19216411 - 12/02/13 09:19 AM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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Tough call. Personally, I appreciate the fact my gf can offer me constructive criticism and advice. However, it sounds like it was the way she said it, not really the content of the message. IMO, that's something that can be worked on if you want to.
-------------------- ...the whole experience is (and is as) a profound piece of knowledge. It is an indellible experience; it is forever known. I have known myself in a way I doubt I would have ever occurred except as it did. Smith, P. Bull. Menninger Clinic (1959) 23:20-27; p. 27. ...most subjects find the experience valuable, some find it frightening, and many say that is it uniquely lovely. Osmond, H. Annals, NY Acad Science (1957) 66:418-434; p.436
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perkysmiles
Serendipity



Registered: 10/02/13
Posts: 178
Loc: New Mexico
Last seen: 2 months, 15 days
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Re: WOULD YOU break up with her for this.....? [Re: Anonymous #1]
#19216450 - 12/02/13 09:33 AM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
Anonymous said: Basically..
I've been dating a girl for the last few months. Very amazing girl: attractive, great personality.
Basically we were planning on going to a pool party. We have been planning on it for the last week or so. She tells me not to wear a swimming suit. I ask why, and she eventually says because she doesn't want people to be shocked like she was....
I asked her to elaborate, and she ended up saying i have a bad looking body and doesn't want people to be shocked by it. (I am a thin dude)... and after that I realized I dont want to have sex with her anymore, I can't feel comfortable with someone who isn't physically attracted to me...
Even though we were very sexually active, I broke it off for that comment... As I want the freedom to be open and myself, not being around someone who is ashamed to be around me or unwilling to accept my body. I just cant imagine myself wanting to cuddle up against her anymore or have sex with her after she said that.
Anyways... Would it be a breaking point for you?
Wow! What a really insensitive thing to say to someone you supposedly care for. Anywho...She obviously didn't think you had that bad of a body. You yourself said you guys were very sexually active implying she was very attracted to you despite what she said.
Would I break it off for that one thing alone? Probably not, but I would definitely be a little hurt by the comment and she would be explaining herself. If however it was just one more thing among a laundry list of shit it definitely might be a breaking point. It's all done now. Just my 2 cents worth.
-------------------- To love. To be loved. To never forget your own insignificance. To never get used to the unspeakable violence and the vulgar disparity of life around you. To seek joy in the saddest places. To pursue beauty to its lair. To never simplify what is complicated or complicate what is simple. To respect strength, never power. Above all, to watch. To try and understand. To never look away. And never, never, to forget. Arundhati Roy
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A-Ribbon
Stranger
Registered: 08/23/13
Posts: 50
Last seen: 10 years, 1 month
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Re: WOULD YOU break up with her for this.....? [Re: perkysmiles]
#19219921 - 12/02/13 10:38 PM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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Id be hurt... IDK if id end it but it would hurt a little
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DirtyTomFlint
( ಥـْـِـِـِـْಥ)




Registered: 11/26/13
Posts: 1,879
Loc: United Kingdom
Last seen: 1 year, 1 month
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Re: WOULD YOU break up with her for this.....? [Re: A-Ribbon]
#19219976 - 12/02/13 10:49 PM (10 years, 1 month ago) |
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What the hell kind of disrespectful shit is that? Please, break up with her. It is for your own spiritual well-being. I'm 19 and if I was in your situation I'd break it off, very reasonably.
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   Know Your Body, Know Your Mind, Know Your Substance, Know Your Source
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