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245willow19

Registered: 06/14/10
Posts: 4,861
Last seen: 7 years, 11 months
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Any chance of becoming a productive citizen...
#19183621 - 11/24/13 05:17 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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I've joined a rehabilitation school program of kind like a college but for seniors. The centre consists over 18, most of who are at least 20s or 60s. It sounds relatively cool but I still don't know exactly what it is about so I'll probably ask questions concerning the program tomorrow. I am mostly only doing this to satisfy my parents. To be honest, everyday I feel like giving up and sleeping. At the moment, I get 4 hours sleep a day. I should seriously change my environment and move country before I end up harming myself or others. The centre covers five core areas: · Career Planning · Self Assessment · Study Skills · World of Work · World of Education They have guidance counselors, psychiatrists, nurses and all. The centre consists of people who have mental disorders such as psychosis, anxiety, manic depression etc. My first day starts to tomorrow. I am not that anxious or nervous at the moment. This centre should help me and boost my courage, confidence and motivate me somehow to achieve more, but what if they fail, miserably? What do I do then? Give up…move country…purchase a gun if legal…roam the wilderness and shoot myself dead amidst the desert wasteland or jungle. I dropped out of college due to immense stress and frustration. I can’t handle anything. I’m an incompetent idiot without skills or wits. Anyway I will give the program a try and see if it works for me otherwise…there’s little hope of me ever becoming a good productive citizen…I don’t want to become some scummy drug dealer or criminal. I want to live without the fear of being possibly murdered or prosecuted. What do you guys think? Any have experience in this field? What is it like?
Edited by 245willow19 (11/24/13 05:22 PM)
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Patlal
You ask too many questions



Registered: 10/09/10
Posts: 44,797
Loc: Ottawa
Last seen: 3 hours, 30 minutes
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Re: Joined a rehabilitation centre program... [Re: 245willow19]
#19183641 - 11/24/13 05:21 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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OMFG it's about time dude
Congrats.
Your gonna get clean (or are you clean already?)
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245willow19

Registered: 06/14/10
Posts: 4,861
Last seen: 7 years, 11 months
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Re: Joined a rehabilitation centre program... [Re: Patlal]
#19183666 - 11/24/13 05:26 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
OMFG it's about time dude
Congrats.
Your gonna get clean (or are you clean already?)
Well, I've been clean off opiates for months, about 6 months to be exact or more. It's not a centre for drug addicts but people who find it difficult to interact with people and become a productive citizen in today's society. It’s basically for people who can’t hold a decent job or finish college/school due to their mental illness. It helps you see some confidence in yourself and train you to be become better than you are now or preciously I know very little about this centre...I just absorbed bits and pieces of info from the guy who interviewed me. I wasn't really listening...short attention span
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Patlal
You ask too many questions



Registered: 10/09/10
Posts: 44,797
Loc: Ottawa
Last seen: 3 hours, 30 minutes
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Re: Joined a rehabilitation centre program... [Re: 245willow19]
#19183680 - 11/24/13 05:30 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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No matter what it is, based on what I've read from you on here, you seem like you need counseling. What do you have to lose anyway?
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245willow19

Registered: 06/14/10
Posts: 4,861
Last seen: 7 years, 11 months
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Re: Joined a rehabilitation centre program... [Re: Patlal]
#19183688 - 11/24/13 05:34 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
No matter what it is, based on what I've read from you on here, you seem like you need counseling. What do you have to lose anyway?
My sanity and dignity. I can't cope with stress at all and if they have very daunting assignments...I'm gonna snap and jump off a balcony somewhere. Lack of dopamine in the brain isn't very healthy. Yup, I needed counseling, badly, and it took everyone fucking weeks and even months to finally see that something was wrong. I really feel as if this cold ass country is the reason I am depressed and somewhat crazy/weird. There's too many bad memories here...I need a fresh start maybe somewhere in a third world country...I can teach English or train jihadists how to fight jk
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zappaisgod
horrid asshole


Registered: 02/11/04
Posts: 81,741
Loc: Fractallife's gym
Last seen: 7 years, 7 months
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Re: Joined a rehabilitation centre program... [Re: 245willow19]
#19183698 - 11/24/13 05:37 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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The country is responsible? Really?
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Salomon
ಠ︵ಠ balance ಠ_ಠ weaver ಠ‿ಠ

Registered: 01/17/09
Posts: 25,128
Loc: America, FUCK YEAH
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Re: Joined a rehabilitation centre program... [Re: 245willow19]
#19183703 - 11/24/13 05:38 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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i was gonna post pictures of poppy pods, but i thought it would be in bad taste.
the best of luck, mate. learn how to build cars or fix waterbeds or somthing
-------------------- EVERYTHING EVENTUALLY BECOMES A DESERT
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245willow19

Registered: 06/14/10
Posts: 4,861
Last seen: 7 years, 11 months
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Re: Joined a rehabilitation centre program... [Re: Salomon]
#19183758 - 11/24/13 05:50 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
The country is responsible? Really?
Not necessarily because a lot of incidents occured which I wish to put behind and forget, hence, the tempting the desire to seek a fresh start somewhere abroad. My family degraded me...called me stupid and incomptent and you could imagine the kind of affect it had on me, and the ego and confidence I was deprived of from a very young age. I use to be a decent drawer, I drew soldiers, animals, houses and Hitler, but my mom told me, "Drawing won't pay the bills or put food on the table". I wasn't drawing to make a career but as a hobby so I stopped and decided to spend my time sleeping or watching TV and eventually joining the Shroomery and doing opiates. Throughout my childhood, I was very angry boy and would often fight with lads bigger than me and challenge them. That's the reason I have little scars on my face from stones, sharp objects etc. I did a lot of things I was proud of when I was young like drawing and writing and my mom said everything I did was "Crap!" even though she was wrong because people said it was brilliant for a boy my age. I put immense details in my drawings. Eventually, my mom collected all my drawing and threw them into the bin for no good reason, probably occured when she was in a drunken rage or something. That's why I grow poppies and potatoes because it's the only skill I have left (gardening) since these plants are so beautiful and colourful. Of course, with poppies, it's easy to harvest and make an addictively attractive looking gum of raw opium from .
Quote:
i was gonna post pictures of poppy pods, but i thought it would be in bad taste.
the best of luck, mate. learn how to build cars or fix waterbeds or somthing
Thanks
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zappaisgod
horrid asshole


Registered: 02/11/04
Posts: 81,741
Loc: Fractallife's gym
Last seen: 7 years, 7 months
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Re: Joined a rehabilitation centre program... [Re: 245willow19]
#19183774 - 11/24/13 05:54 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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So the country had nothing to do with it and you blame everything on having Joan Crawford for a mother.
I think you are going to be directed to examine yourself in a few days and it will be suggested that looking to externalities is not productive.
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245willow19

Registered: 06/14/10
Posts: 4,861
Last seen: 7 years, 11 months
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Re: Joined a rehabilitation centre program... [Re: zappaisgod]
#19183794 - 11/24/13 05:57 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
So the country had nothing to do with it and you blame everything on having Joan Crawford for a mother.
I think you are going to be directed to examine yourself in a few days and it will be suggested that looking to externalities is not productive.
The country still does play a part, the depressing cold rainy weather and the way people act so yeah, but then again, every country has this same issue, but still, I've burned too many bridges with people to fix the problems here. Maybe I just eat a shitload of mushrooms, become gay and live happily ever after in the mountains as a homosexual hermit like radagast  
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zappaisgod
horrid asshole


Registered: 02/11/04
Posts: 81,741
Loc: Fractallife's gym
Last seen: 7 years, 7 months
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Re: Joined a rehabilitation centre program... [Re: 245willow19]
#19183804 - 11/24/13 05:59 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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You may well have burned too many bridges but if you wake up in the morning and everybody is an asshole you are looking in the wrong place for solutions to your problems
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245willow19

Registered: 06/14/10
Posts: 4,861
Last seen: 7 years, 11 months
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Re: Joined a rehabilitation centre program... [Re: zappaisgod]
#19183820 - 11/24/13 06:02 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
You may well have burned too many bridges but if you wake up in the morning and everybody is an asshole you are looking in the wrong place for solutions to your problems
True, wise friend. What do you advise me to do? Move city...doubt that'll change anything. I just don't like the modern Western ideology of things...it lacks something...I can't explain it...but it seriously lacks something essential.
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akira_akuma
Φύσις κρύπτεσθαι ὕψιστος φιλεῖ


Registered: 08/28/09
Posts: 82,455
Loc: Onypeirophóros
Last seen: 4 years, 1 month
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Re: Joined a rehabilitation centre program... [Re: 245willow19]
#19183823 - 11/24/13 06:03 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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the 21st century.
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zappaisgod
horrid asshole


Registered: 02/11/04
Posts: 81,741
Loc: Fractallife's gym
Last seen: 7 years, 7 months
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Re: Joined a rehabilitation centre program... [Re: 245willow19]
#19183853 - 11/24/13 06:08 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
Esekon Kelly said:
Quote:
You may well have burned too many bridges but if you wake up in the morning and everybody is an asshole you are looking in the wrong place for solutions to your problems
True, wise friend. What do you advise me to do? Move city...doubt that'll change anything. I just don't like the modern Western ideology of things...it lacks something...I can't explain it...but it seriously lacks something essential.
This is a huge country and there are all kinds of private societies set up that operate outside of Western ideas. There are Buddhist monasteries, for instance. Esalen still exists. They aren't for me but they might be for you and those are just two that come immediately to mind.
I sympathize that you may have had a disaster for a mother but it doesn't make you unique by a long shot.
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akira_akuma
Φύσις κρύπτεσθαι ὕψιστος φιλεῖ


Registered: 08/28/09
Posts: 82,455
Loc: Onypeirophóros
Last seen: 4 years, 1 month
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Re: Joined a rehabilitation centre program... [Re: zappaisgod]
#19183882 - 11/24/13 06:12 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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that's true^ you can't use someone else's mistakes as an excuse for your own. it doesn't work that way.
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245willow19

Registered: 06/14/10
Posts: 4,861
Last seen: 7 years, 11 months
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Re: Joined a rehabilitation centre program... [Re: zappaisgod]
#19183985 - 11/24/13 06:40 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
zappaisgod said:
Quote:
Esekon Kelly said:
Quote:
You may well have burned too many bridges but if you wake up in the morning and everybody is an asshole you are looking in the wrong place for solutions to your problems
True, wise friend. What do you advise me to do? Move city...doubt that'll change anything. I just don't like the modern Western ideology of things...it lacks something...I can't explain it...but it seriously lacks something essential.
This is a huge country and there are all kinds of private societies set up that operate outside of Western ideas. There are Buddhist monasteries, for instance. Esalen still exists. They aren't for me but they might be for you and those are just two that come immediately to mind.
I sympathize that you may have had a disaster for a mother but it doesn't make you unique by a long shot.
This country is a small island and no...I don't look at myself as unique though I do catch your drift. Everyone here is becoming Americanized and just do the same things...drink and get laid.
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zappaisgod
horrid asshole


Registered: 02/11/04
Posts: 81,741
Loc: Fractallife's gym
Last seen: 7 years, 7 months
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Re: Joined a rehabilitation centre program... [Re: 245willow19]
#19184018 - 11/24/13 06:49 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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I made a mistake. I assumed you were in the US. I have no idea what you can do where you're at.
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akira_akuma
Φύσις κρύπτεσθαι ὕψιστος φιλεῖ


Registered: 08/28/09
Posts: 82,455
Loc: Onypeirophóros
Last seen: 4 years, 1 month
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Re: Joined a rehabilitation centre program... [Re: zappaisgod]
#19184022 - 11/24/13 06:50 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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it was nice of you, though.
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