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Offline28064212
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Right now I feel like killing myself
    #19182830 - 11/24/13 02:14 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Not going to do it, I promise, but I want to SOOOOOOO bad right now.


Anyone ever feel this way?

Never been so mad at myself before.


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OfflineJesusIsLord
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Re: Right now I feel like killing myself [Re: 28064212]
    #19182837 - 11/24/13 02:15 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

why?


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And I will bring you out from the people, and will gather you out of the countries wherein ye are scattered, with a mighty hand, and with a stretched out arm, and with fury poured out.


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InvisibleAlexestalex
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Re: Right now I feel like killing myself [Re: 28064212] * 3
    #19182843 - 11/24/13 02:18 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Be careful about what you type on the internet.

When I was a little boy my buddy and I played runescape. Our account got hacked and we tried to recover it by sending an online appeal. As a joke, we wrote that if we didn't get the account back, we'd commit suicide. We didn't even realize that a real human being read the appeal.

Two days later, the police show up at my friend's door, pick up his mom, drive to his school, and get the principle to call him down. He's asked if he's suicidal and has to undergo a psychological evaluation.

Not fun man!


--------------------

Stay far from timid, only make moves when your heart's in it.


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Offline28064212
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Re: Right now I feel like killing myself [Re: Alexestalex]
    #19182850 - 11/24/13 02:20 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

I said I AM NOT going to harm myself.


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Offlinedontknow
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Re: Right now I feel like killing myself [Re: Alexestalex] * 2
    #19182851 - 11/24/13 02:20 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Alex are you in the US? If so I call bs


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:box:

The discerning heart seeks knowledge, but the mouth of a fool feeds on folly. -Proverbs 15:14

:tripping2: :shroomer:  :trippinballs: :shroomin:

“Imagination is everything. It is the preview of Life’s coming attractions.”
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InvisibleAlexestalex
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Re: Right now I feel like killing myself [Re: dontknow]
    #19182859 - 11/24/13 02:23 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

28064212 said:
I said I AM NOT going to harm myself.




I know, I know. I'm just saying, people often take the "I'm going to kill myself" thing really lightly, I've seen it posted as a joke so many times.
Quote:

dontknow said:
Alex are you in the US? If so I call bs




Not US, I'm from Canada. I swear on my life, I'd have no reason to lie.

And it actually does make logical sense to some extent. Like if you have evidence that somebody is planning on committing suicide and you don't alert the authorities, you can get in trouble or something.

Also, google runescape cop suicide. A lot of similar stories come up. It's quite hilarious to me LOL.

here's one http://www.sythe.org/runescape-3-general/527386-cops-just-came-my-house-over-runescape.html


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Stay far from timid, only make moves when your heart's in it.


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InvisibleGumby
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Re: Right now I feel like killing myself [Re: Alexestalex] * 3
    #19182874 - 11/24/13 02:27 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Alexestalex said:
Be careful about what you type on the internet.

When I was a little boy my buddy and I played runescape. Our account got hacked and we tried to recover it by sending an online appeal. As a joke, we wrote that if we didn't get the account back, we'd commit suicide. We didn't even realize that a real human being read the appeal.

Two days later, the police show up at my friend's door, pick up his mom, drive to his school, and get the principle to call him down. He's asked if he's suicidal and has to undergo a psychological evaluation.

Not fun man!




Yep. I've personally tracked down where people live that post on the Shroomery and had help sent to them. Saved a guy once, true story.


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Invisibleabltsandwich
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Re: Right now I feel like killing myself [Re: 28064212]
    #19182886 - 11/24/13 02:30 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

I've been there myself many times.  Procrastination saved my life, literally.


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OfflineKonyap

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Re: Right now I feel like killing myself [Re: Gumby]
    #19182896 - 11/24/13 02:31 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

.


Edited by Konyap (11/24/13 04:06 PM)


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OfflineKonyap

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Re: Right now I feel like killing myself [Re: Konyap]
    #19182898 - 11/24/13 02:32 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

lol


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InvisibleLynnch
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Re: Right now I feel like killing myself [Re: 28064212] * 3
    #19182899 - 11/24/13 02:32 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

What's goin on dude?

I just want to point out that, it's perfectly okay to be upset, frustrated with life, and mad at yourself for fucking up. But leave it at that dude, all of that stuff you can deal with. Sarcastically or jokingly exaggerating how you feel to the point of suicide isn't constructive, you're just blowing up your problems to unworkable proportions... Be careful what you say on the internet, sure; Be more careful what you say to yourself.


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Offline28064212
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Re: Right now I feel like killing myself [Re: Lynnch]
    #19182935 - 11/24/13 02:40 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

No one worry I would never harm myself, I never have and never will, I am smarter/happier than that.


I just let my anxiety and indicisions take ahold of me and cause me to act like a retarded pathetic fool.

I can never make decisions and end up freaking out


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Offline28064212
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Re: Right now I feel like killing myself [Re: 28064212]
    #19182958 - 11/24/13 02:45 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Really high now, and in all honesty I NEVER really felt like hurting myself just angry at myself and hate myself a little bit, so that's why I was speaking about myself so worthlessly


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InvisibleAlexestalex
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Re: Right now I feel like killing myself [Re: 28064212]
    #19182968 - 11/24/13 02:47 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

28064212 said:
No one worry I would never harm myself, I never have and never will, I am smarter/happier than that.


I just let my anxiety and indicisions take ahold of me and cause me to act like a retarded pathetic fool.

I can never make decisions and end up freaking out




Calm down, you seem like a chill guy and you should relax. It`s normal to feel suicidal, especially in today`s world where suicide rates are sky-high, but just take a breather. There`s a million different options to get out of this stupor.


--------------------

Stay far from timid, only make moves when your heart's in it.


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Offline28064212
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Re: Right now I feel like killing myself [Re: Alexestalex] * 1
    #19182979 - 11/24/13 02:50 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

For sure. :hug:


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InvisibleLynnch
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Re: Right now I feel like killing myself [Re: 28064212] * 1
    #19182992 - 11/24/13 02:53 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

One thing that has helped me with that stuff is to slowwww dowwwwnnn.  It's not really the decision or situation that's stressing you out, it's the impending deadline.  Most of the time though, it's okay to just think about things for a second. You don't have to answer every question in a conversation immediately after the person asks it. It's like when you're just starting out driving, and making those unprotected lefthand turns are so scary- you're not sure if the gap is big enough, and theres a guy behind you, and he's gonna get mad and honk if you go soon and and and... It's okay if you just slow down and wait for the light to turn yellow. Nobody can fault you for driving safely. 

Also, just make a fucking decision already, that way you can get to the good part- changing your mind.


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InvisiblezZZz
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Re: Right now I feel like killing myself [Re: 28064212]
    #19183006 - 11/24/13 02:55 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

what drugs you been on man?, don't mean to offend, but i've felt like that before from drug use. just sayin

or what exactly are you getting upset about?. let it out bro.


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Offline28064212
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Re: Right now I feel like killing myself [Re: zZZz]
    #19183016 - 11/24/13 02:57 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

I've been on prescriptions amphetmaines for a long time.


Beside that I use psychedelics every once in a while. Benzos occasionally. Use my :volcano: everyday, and smoke :cig:s


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InvisiblezZZz
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Re: Right now I feel like killing myself [Re: 28064212]
    #19183032 - 11/24/13 02:59 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

hmm, amphetamines can do that to you, especially with long term use. they can make your emotions unstable, but im sure you already knew that..


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OfflineRoflspammer
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Re: Right now I feel like killing myself [Re: 28064212]
    #19183046 - 11/24/13 03:02 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

28064212 said:
No one worry I would never harm myself, I never have and never will, I am smarter/happier than that.


I just let my anxiety and indicisions take ahold of me and cause me to act like a retarded pathetic fool.

I can never make decisions and end up freaking out





Story of my life


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Offlinemorrowasted
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Re: Right now I feel like killing myself [Re: zZZz]
    #19183064 - 11/24/13 03:06 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

You seem to me like an isolationist who has been using marijuana and other drugs as a crutch for a while and now they are not as effective at helping you isolate as they used to be. I know the feeling. I have many stitches on my wrist from multiple hospitalizations, all from when I was your age. I know it sounds crazy, but try to cut back on the pot and replace it with social activities. Aren't you in college? Get involved in a club. Volunteer- seriously! It's the best way to meet really cool people. If you're too much of an asshole to work for no pay, get a job. If you do well in your classes, try to work for your college as a tutor (many colleges hire students to tutor other students as a full-time service). It can be very rewarding, intellectually, financially, emotionally, and professionally.

I know it's silly of me to be making all these diagnoses over the internet, but we both use this website a lot, and I think we have experienced similar things, and this is my assessment.


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InvisibleGumby
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Re: Right now I feel like killing myself [Re: 28064212]
    #19183102 - 11/24/13 03:14 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

28064212 said:
I've been on prescriptions amphetmaines for a long time.


Beside that I use psychedelics every once in a while. Benzos occasionally. Use my :volcano: everyday, and smoke :cig:s




Amps do really, really bad things for anxiety. I stopped taking them for that reason.


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Offline28064212
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Re: Right now I feel like killing myself [Re: morrowasted]
    #19183105 - 11/24/13 03:15 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Pot isn't my probably. I need it medically to function. I just need to get my emotional shot together. Pot actually helps that.

Much better than being addicted to Xanax.


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Offline28064212
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Re: Right now I feel like killing myself [Re: Gumby]
    #19183110 - 11/24/13 03:16 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Amphetamines on the other hand, could be a good thing to cut out or slow down.


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Invisibleabltsandwich
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Re: Right now I feel like killing myself [Re: 28064212] * 2
    #19183115 - 11/24/13 03:17 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Amphetamines... slow down now there's an unlikely combo :lol:


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Offline28064212
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Re: Right now I feel like killing myself [Re: abltsandwich]
    #19183126 - 11/24/13 03:19 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

I love the band Fun.


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Offlinemorrowasted
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Re: Right now I feel like killing myself [Re: 28064212] * 2
    #19183197 - 11/24/13 03:35 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

28064212 said:
Pot isn't my probably. I need it medically to function. I just need to get my emotional shot together. Pot actually helps that.

Much better than being addicted to Xanax.



Yeah I used to think the same thing man. Whatever, you'll grow up.


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Offline28064212
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Re: Right now I feel like killing myself [Re: morrowasted]
    #19183212 - 11/24/13 03:38 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

I'm pretty grown up, my friend.
Isn't it possibly we just have different body chemistry?

I know what I have to do to get my shit together, I have many less outbreaks than I did a year or two ago.

I can use my medicine and be successful.


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InvisiblezZZz
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Re: Right now I feel like killing myself [Re: morrowasted]
    #19183218 - 11/24/13 03:39 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

one drug at a time :thumbup:


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OfflineThe_Ghost
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Re: Right now I feel like killing myself [Re: morrowasted]
    #19183269 - 11/24/13 03:50 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

morrowasted said:
Quote:

28064212 said:
Pot isn't my probably. I need it medically to function. I just need to get my emotional shot together. Pot actually helps that.

Much better than being addicted to Xanax.



Yeah I used to think the same thing man. Whatever, you'll grow up.



Just recently did i realize just how much weed was fucking my shit up, after many years of carefree smoking. Stopped it for the most part, unfortunately its too late to have an impact on the fuckup of a situation im currently in.  Im addicted to mxe tho, and thats a real fucking bitch to kick.


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/ / / / / / / LISTEN TO MY MUSIC: E X E D / / / / / / /
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May His Circuits Ever Function


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Offlinemorrowasted
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Re: Right now I feel like killing myself [Re: The_Ghost]
    #19183277 - 11/24/13 03:52 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:


Just recently did i realize just how much weed was fucking my shit up, after many years of carefree smoking. Stopped it for the most part, unfortunately its too late to have an impact on the fuckup of a situation im currently in.  Im addicted to mxe tho, and thats a real fucking bitch to kick.



marijuana can be the subtlest of foes


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InvisiblezZZz
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Re: Right now I feel like killing myself [Re: morrowasted]
    #19183287 - 11/24/13 03:54 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

most good drugs are very tricky.


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OfflineThe_Ghost
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Re: Right now I feel like killing myself [Re: morrowasted]
    #19183295 - 11/24/13 03:57 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

morrowasted said:
Quote:


Just recently did i realize just how much weed was fucking my shit up, after many years of carefree smoking. Stopped it for the most part, unfortunately its too late to have an impact on the fuckup of a situation im currently in.  Im addicted to mxe tho, and thats a real fucking bitch to kick.



marijuana can be the subtlest of foes



Right? What had me fooled good is thinking im unimpaired if i don't smoke that day and only smoke at night, and thinking my ADD is unrelated. Not thinking how i haven't really taken more than a few days break for many years, and how long thc stays in your system. Suddenly after 4 days of not smoking i felt like i was on coke all day.


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/ / / / / / / LISTEN TO MY MUSIC: E X E D / / / / / / /
The universe gives no fucks. And takes no fucks.
May His Circuits Ever Function


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Invisibleabltsandwich
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Re: Right now I feel like killing myself [Re: The_Ghost]
    #19183357 - 11/24/13 04:11 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Ghost I've heard all the same things about nofap.

I wanna be on coke all day.


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Offlinestimpson
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Re: Right now I feel like killing myself [Re: abltsandwich] * 2
    #19183512 - 11/24/13 04:47 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

damn, i was going to start a thread like this, but...  eh, tomorrow.


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uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhmmmm... ... ...


ok.


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InvisibleVivaLaMushie
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Re: Right now I feel like killing myself [Re: 28064212] * 2
    #19183528 - 11/24/13 04:50 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

28064212 said:
For sure. :hug:




Ive been feeling real down lately, too. A lot of all of a sudden stress and anxiety at one time can be too much to handle, you really just gotta sit down, take a few deep breaths and try to calm your inner self down.
:hug:


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InvisibleLynnch
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Re: Right now I feel like killing myself [Re: VivaLaMushie] * 1
    #19183541 - 11/24/13 04:54 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

I think we're all freaking out because winter is coming.


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OfflineThe_Ghost
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Re: Right now I feel like killing myself [Re: abltsandwich]
    #19183545 - 11/24/13 04:55 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

abltsandwich said:
Ghost I've heard all the same things about nofap.

I wanna be on coke all day.



No fap is a double edged sword.
Quote:

Lynnch said:
I think we're all freaking out because winter is coming.



This too. fuck the cold.


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/ / / / / / / LISTEN TO MY MUSIC: E X E D / / / / / / /
The universe gives no fucks. And takes no fucks.
May His Circuits Ever Function


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Offlinenicechrisman
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Re: Right now I feel like killing myself [Re: 28064212] * 2
    #19184042 - 11/24/13 06:54 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

I'm sure that whatever is going on, you'll make it through just fine. It helps to have people you can talk to about things. That's one of the many great things about a community like this.

When I did amphetamines back in the day, my brain chemistry was all fucked up. It took a few months for it to get back to some form of "normal". Like others said, the amphetamines can cause problems like this. For some people, pot can too from what I hear.


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"Cosmic Love is absolutelely ruthless and highly indifferent:
it teaches its lessons whether you like/dislike them or not."

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InvisibleJack yo Self foo
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Re: Right now I feel like killing myself [Re: 28064212]
    #19184135 - 11/24/13 07:15 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

28064212 said:
No one worry I would never harm myself, I never have and never will, I am smarter/happier than that.


I just let my anxiety and indicisions take ahold of me and cause me to act like a retarded pathetic fool.

I can never make decisions and end up freaking out



my mother successfully took her life in april...been to a lot of loss meetings and one thing is apparent and that is they are caught in a moment of weakness

i applaud you for talking about it...but its the ones that say they would never do it...


well...never say never...


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You learn something new everyday, so be sure you learn something from it.


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InvisibleJack yo Self foo
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Re: Right now I feel like killing myself [Re: Jack yo Self foo]
    #19184151 - 11/24/13 07:17 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

the holidays bring on a lot of these feelings....that and everything around you is dying...trees, plants, and whatnot

we all have these feelings/ thoughts....most people don't talk about it because they are afraid to


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You learn something new everyday, so be sure you learn something from it.


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OnlineThe Ecstatic
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Re: Right now I feel like killing myself [Re: Jack yo Self foo] * 1
    #19184181 - 11/24/13 07:23 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Go buy a dildo and put it under your bed.


The next time you have suicidal thoughts, the shame of your parents finding a hidden dildo will keep you on this earth.


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InvisibleChowder963
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Re: Right now I feel like killing myself [Re: dontknow] * 2
    #19184234 - 11/24/13 07:41 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

dontknow said:
Alex are you in the US? If so I call bs



The US would be the MOST likely country to do this. Also run escape is a game for little kids usually in middle school. I know its for people of all ages but the majority of people are in that age group, and they probably knew they couldn't get the account back, so feared a child may of hurt themselves. I think it would be more strange If they didnt send someone.


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Invisiblekoraks
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Re: Right now I feel like killing myself [Re: The_Ghost]
    #19185361 - 11/25/13 02:40 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

The Ecstatic said:
Go buy a dildo and put it under your bed.


The next time you have suicidal thoughts, the shame of your parents finding a hidden dildo will keep you on this earth.



:glorious:
Why didn't I think of that? :lol:


Quote:

The_Ghost said:
Quote:

Lynnch said:
I think we're all freaking out because winter is coming.



This too. fuck the cold.



Existential angst. We're going in and nobody knows which of us won't make it out on the other end. When all of nature dies around you, isn't it natural to feel anxious or even scared shitless? And yeah, the lack of daylight and warmth is absolute horror too.

So yeah OP, I can relate. Shitty times.


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InvisibleShroomismM
Space Travellin
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Registered: 02/13/00
Posts: 66,015
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Re: Right now I feel like killing myself [Re: 28064212] * 1
    #19185377 - 11/25/13 02:50 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Don't be so hard on yourself. You should be your best friend.

Smoke a bowl and listen to some Bob Marley or something :thumbup:


--------------------


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Offlinethilfee
Home is where the heart is
Male

Registered: 11/25/13
Posts: 253
Loc: N.S.W. Australia
Last seen: 9 years, 11 months
Re: Right now I feel like killing myself [Re: 28064212]
    #19185864 - 11/25/13 08:32 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

suicide ...they say it's a long term solution to a short term problem...that being said, i enjoy knowing you while you survive so thrive while you live:cool:


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