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Kire1988



Registered: 11/24/10
Posts: 76
Loc: somewhere
Last seen: 7 years, 9 months
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Finally ready to talk about this....
#19180659 - 11/23/13 09:54 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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A little over 2 years ago I did mescaline...I ordered 4x 12" cuttings online of San Pedro cactus and did the appropriate steps to prepare and consume it. I had a pretty bad trip to say the least, at least at the end of the night, getting ready for sleep...
For most of it though it was pretty good, splotchy colors, decent visuals(like everyone says, not as visual as LSD or shrooms, but definitely a nice, warm body high to it despite......anyways at the end of the night, when I went to bed I caught caught in a "logic hole" I guess you could call it....I saw everything in a totally logical way, like a "battle of the egos" point-of-view on the world..like no matter what someone's gonna have an answer that challenge's your answer to someone's else's question and logic....and when you understand them you adopt that line of logic only to have someone else make you question it and get into an even deeper complex understanding of things...I kept digging myself deeper into this kind of thinking and it made me more and more pessimistic and cynical and thus increased my anxiety and every bad feeling exponentially making the trip worse and worse and worse...needless to say I didn't get any sleep that night and couldn't for the next who knows how long! I was lucky to get any night's sleep if even for a couple to a few hours. Eventually, out of desperation and after seeing my going insane for a lil' while my mom decided to see if I'd be interested in going to a crisis center, which I did, and hoped it would help me. Unfortunately, I was put on ambien thee and quickly gained an addiction and couldn't go on w/o them....I even lied to my prescriber after coming back from there to tell her that I wanted to be put on ambien and that the amitriptyline she prescribed me wasn't working for sleep...(which of course was BS as it did help a bit I just never gave it a proper amount of time to work its course and see if it works or not, the ambien was too euphoric and addicting!!)...anyways...honestly I could go on and on about what I've experienced up until this point but frankly I don't have the patience lol....The point is, I learned from this trip to not read so much into everything, at least not to the point where you're constantly worried about the "what ifs" in life and that everything is progression and there is no "final answer" to everything so just take things as they come and don't get caught up in them if you can...we're meant to eternally progress and thus enjoy life and be optimistic and not totally cynical about everything. My spirituality, coupled w/ my bad trip, has helped me to appreciate the smaller things in life...
P.S. It probably doesn't help that I have Asperger's and that doing this drug might've set the catalysts for me going in to this mental state...needless to say lesson learned! If anything I've learned to be a bit empathatic after this experienced, which I know a lot of Aspies have a problem w/...(such is the nature of our wiring of the brain). Anyways, yeah that's my story...thoughts?
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JPDancer
Stranger

Registered: 07/03/13
Posts: 424
Last seen: 6 years, 7 months
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Re: Finally ready to talk about this.... [Re: Kire1988]
#19180668 - 11/23/13 09:59 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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fuck you, you just made me think i have aspergers. did i read too much into this?...
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JingleJoe
Builder

Registered: 10/24/13
Posts: 100
Last seen: 5 years, 30 days
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Re: Finally ready to talk about this.... [Re: JPDancer]
#19182712 - 11/24/13 01:41 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Correct me if I'm reading you wrong but perhaps what you have observed in your bad trip, is people's fear of being wrong? I class this as one of the fundamental problems in society: We're taught by schools that the only way to be good is to be right all the time, but being wrong feels exactly like being right, untill you find out! So it's fine to be wrong as long as you advance your knowledge as new info comes along and disproves your old ideas, this is not a problem.
Being wrong is not bad unless of course you are making detrimentally bad actions on incorrect info. Most of the time, we do not. For example, do you think the earth goes around the sun? Wrong! it orbits the sun but it goes around the Barry-centre, the true centre of the solar system around which the sun also wobbles due to all the interacting gravitational fields of the planets.
Then the cure to any detrimental wrongness is to change what you are doing, then you're in the good books, so to speak People don't like this though because it often means giving up things we have great emotional investment in; people will cling to sinking ships rather than have some backbone and admit they've hit an ice-berg.
So in short: being wrong feels exactly like being right, we just haven't realised we're wrong yet and that's fine
P.S. hope I don't come accross as the rambling deluded drug-user, I barely touch them!
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Icyus
KavitārkikasiṃHa



Registered: 11/07/13
Posts: 3,502
Loc: Inbetween.
Last seen: 8 years, 27 days
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Re: Finally ready to talk about this.... [Re: JingleJoe]
#19182774 - 11/24/13 01:56 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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You are not sick. Society views you sick. You are unique. You can change at will. You can chose to remain.
-------------------- And thus begins the reverse-fusing of our one-dimentional understanding, and adds ever-expanding perspectives, in depth and number; splitting our perception, and in so doing, seemingly irrationally, creates yet more one-ness, with all that ever was, is and will ever be, streching across the infinite, inunderstood concept of everything, percievable and not.
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MindDrips
Telephasic Workshop



Registered: 09/10/13
Posts: 677
Loc: USA
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Re: Finally ready to talk about this.... [Re: Icyus]
#19198711 - 11/27/13 11:03 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Contradiction and paradox are a huge part of this world we live in.
Nothing makes perfect sense in the universe we observe, but it is merely because we are limited by our human perception. We sometimes just perceive the world as illogical or contradictory. Trust me, I know exactly what you mean by that particular logic loop; I have been troubled by the thought many times before.
I hope for the best for you, and that your inner tranquility finds you.
-------------------- "Pebbles and marbles like things on my mind, Seem to get lost and harder to find. When I am alone I am inclined, If I find a pebble in sand, To think that it fell from my hand..."

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