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shroomy stan
Grass Smoker




Registered: 09/17/13
Posts: 158
Loc: The Forest
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Fuck it.
#19172436 - 11/21/13 08:14 PM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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I'm so sick of this white picket prison I've been in for the last 23 years of my life.
I've had a pretty good life, I can't deny that. Always had opportunities to do things, books, toys, whatever. But I hate my family. The socially awkward biggots that raised me were always so behind the times by 30 odd years. They raised me well, I'll give them that.
Now, the Christmas season is upon us, and as wal mart stocks up on feed for the consumer pigs I went about making some plans with my girlfriend of 2 years to go down to see her parts family together. She lives here with her father, her mother and brother live quite a distance from here, so we decided to go for a couple weeks. I'm between jobs right now, so cash is tight. It's tight for her too with school and such, but we've budgeted out enough to make it all work. Just.
I've recently found out that if I go, I wont have a place to come back to. I can't stay with my girlfriend, her father wont allow it. Come to think of it if I had a daughter I'd be thinking the same thing I'm sure.
At the same time I've been thinking about where I want to go in my life. Do I want to follow my dreams, and let nothing stop me - or do I pick a lie to live and at 45 not know who I am anymore? I'm just short circuiting I guess. This is a fucking buzz kill right now.
I wish I could just start over 3000 miles away on the coast.
Thank you.
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Soon after falling into a deeper psychedelic state to escape the prison of our reality. Our hero becomes trapped in his own peaceful place which immediately becomes his sanctuary. A place filled with his wildest dreams. This, is his new home.
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LiquidGlass
Glass Blower


Registered: 07/08/12
Posts: 5,288
Loc: Pee En Double You
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So I assume your parents told you if you do not spend the holidays with them that they will kick you out? That would be pretty fucked.
Do your parents not like your GF or are they just that stubborn?
-------------------- Some art I've made Glass Art Gallery
  I was raised a christian and was a stone-faced acid head - Ken Kesey
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eve69
--=..Did Adam and ...?=--



Registered: 04/30/03
Posts: 3,910
Loc: isle de la muerte
Last seen: 1 month, 19 days
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I recommend following your dreams and not living a lie.
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shroomy stan
Grass Smoker




Registered: 09/17/13
Posts: 158
Loc: The Forest
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Re: Fuck it. [Re: eve69]
#19174268 - 11/22/13 09:42 AM (10 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
LiquidGlass said: So I assume your parents told you if you do not spend the holidays with them that they will kick you out? That would be pretty fucked.
Do your parents not like your GF or are they just that stubborn?
If I don't have a job for December and I go, yeah they'll kick me out. Thankfully I have an interview today for a temporary throw away job. I'm rather confident I'll get it since I have worked for that company before doing the same thing. They know I only want to work 3 weeks and that's all they need me for. Still pretty fucked though.
They seemed to like her when they met her last summer, fuck they even went out and bought her a rather nice bracelet.
Quote:
eve69 said: I recommend following your dreams and not living a lie.
I want to follow them. It would mean some pretty nasty sacrifices however.
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Soon after falling into a deeper psychedelic state to escape the prison of our reality. Our hero becomes trapped in his own peaceful place which immediately becomes his sanctuary. A place filled with his wildest dreams. This, is his new home.
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LysergicX7
Lunatic



Registered: 11/11/12
Posts: 1,206
Loc: Montana, USA
Last seen: 2 months, 11 days
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Sounds like a simple and adventurous roadtrip to me.
-------------------- “Everybody is fundamentally, the ultimate reality. Not god in the political kingly sense, but god in the sense of being the self – the deep down basic whatever there is. And you’re all that… only you’re pretending you’re not.” -Alan Watts I think that in human evolution it has never been as necessary to have this substance LSD. It is just a tool to turn us into what we are supposed to be.” ― Albert Hofmann
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mentalpatient
Stranger
Registered: 09/28/12
Posts: 291
Last seen: 10 years, 10 days
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Just remember that life is an adventure. Enjoy it and have fun where it brings you and who you meet along the way! 
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moonrockmushy
High on Spite



Registered: 07/01/05
Posts: 19,068
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Yeah life's funny sometimes. Don't forget the good things your family has done for you. Lots of people are just nuts all the time, and most of us go crazy some of the time, so try not to be hard on them or hold a grudge whatever you end up doing.
Just curious if I'm gonna offer more advice: How realistic and well thought out are your dreams?
Personally my dreams don't make much sense in relation to "the real world" so I'm of the mind that it might be worth considering playing some of the silly games society has created if you think that will make you happy. One thing I'm pretty sure of is that consciosness and despair are strongly tied, learn to swim .
As long as you keep busy and can laugh I'd say you're doing as good as any of us, but making real changes takes an act of fate or planning, real hard work, and dedication.
Good luck and hope you find a little unexpected joy for the holidays
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shroomy stan
Grass Smoker




Registered: 09/17/13
Posts: 158
Loc: The Forest
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Quote:
moonrockmushy said: Yeah life's funny sometimes. Don't forget the good things your family has done for you. Lots of people are just nuts all the time, and most of us go crazy some of the time, so try not to be hard on them or hold a grudge whatever you end up doing.
Just curious if I'm gonna offer more advice: How realistic and well thought out are your dreams?
Personally my dreams don't make much sense in relation to "the real world" so I'm of the mind that it might be worth considering playing some of the silly games society has created if you think that will make you happy. One thing I'm pretty sure of is that consciosness and despair are strongly tied, learn to swim .
As long as you keep busy and can laugh I'd say you're doing as good as any of us, but making real changes takes an act of fate or planning, real hard work, and dedication.
Good luck and hope you find a little unexpected joy for the holidays 
They have done many many things for me, as I said in the first post. Me being pissed was mostly the initial shock of it.
As for my dreams, there is some realism to them. Move out west, find a job, get a corgi or 3 and never deal with the cold winters I put up with again.
Or live the lie. Stay here, follow the plan that's in place. Wait for the girlfriend to finish her degree, get a place together, and give up the bong.
My girlfriend really doesn't like intoxicated people (Bad history there, I wont get into details) so I don't get smashed around her, I've pretty much given up drinking because of her. Which I am thankful for, I drank way too much before we met. I still haven't put the bong down though which I would have to do if we lived together. I don't smoke weed around her, though I have gotten high as fuck before going out with her.
I've kinda forgotten what else I was going to say and I'm just sorta typing now as something to do.
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Soon after falling into a deeper psychedelic state to escape the prison of our reality. Our hero becomes trapped in his own peaceful place which immediately becomes his sanctuary. A place filled with his wildest dreams. This, is his new home.
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TheFakeSunRa
Bitch Splitter



Registered: 03/01/05
Posts: 16,449
Loc: Dirdy SOUF
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Since you're an adult getting your own place shouldn't be some kind of big deal. You pay a deposit. You move in.
-------------------- [quote]Asante said: You constantly make posts thatr fling middle school insults at people you don't like mixed in with maladjusted psychopathic comments about wanting to beat up the other poster with a crowbar. You know how shit you are, you just don't give a fuck for precisely that reason. I disendorse you.[/quote]
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JesusIsLord
Jesus freak


Registered: 08/10/12
Posts: 8,061
Last seen: 8 years, 9 months
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You sound just like me 2-3 years ago. I didn't know whether to stick with my ex of 3-4 years being broke in that local economy or to bail and restart a new life elsewhere with more opportunities/money. I chose the latter, it's been pretty good - I pay my way own all my shit and do my job and nobody holds shit over my head, which I love.
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And I will bring you out from the people, and will gather you out of the countries wherein ye are scattered, with a mighty hand, and with a stretched out arm, and with fury poured out.
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