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Offlineskatealex2
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What are some top awkward moments you've had? * 9
    #19160736 - 11/19/13 05:13 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Anyone have any awkward moments that stand out?


:rasta:



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InvisibleSynthe
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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: skatealex2]
    #19160747 - 11/19/13 05:15 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Yup.


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OfflineMescalean
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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: Synthe] * 8
    #19160777 - 11/19/13 05:19 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

My mom walking in on me balls deep in my ex's asshole.

When I use to drink. Zero mind to mouth filter. If someone had an ass I'd wanna motorboat I'd call them out on it

Mother finding a cum rag when I was 15

Walking in on my parents full s&m gear.


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Invisibleluvdemboomers
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Registered: 01/11/13
Posts: 5,054
Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: Mescalean]
    #19160802 - 11/19/13 05:26 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Don't know where to start...


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InvisibleEdibleStereos
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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: luvdemboomers] * 11
    #19161108 - 11/19/13 06:27 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

When I was in grade school, I was at a school dance but left the dance area as I had to fart. Except when I farted a perfectly round little shit nugget popped out, about the size of a quail's egg. it rolled down my pant leg and out onto the floor. Fucking little nugget disappeared. In the shadows and I decided to gtfo.

Always wonder who found that little gem.


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InvisibleSynthe
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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: EdibleStereos]
    #19161131 - 11/19/13 06:31 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

EdibleStereos said:
When I was in grade school, I was at a school dance but left the dance area as I had to fart. Except when I farted a perfectly round little shit nugget popped out, about the size of a quail's egg. it rolled down my pant leg and out onto the floor. Fucking little nugget disappeared. In the shadows and I decided to gtfo.

Always wonder who found that little gem.



:awepuke:


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OfflineHellogoodbyedeath

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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: skatealex2]
    #19161209 - 11/19/13 06:44 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

I can't decide. I have awkward moments daily. :frown:

Edit: Nevermind. I just remembered this one night my mother walked in on me while I was masturbating. I have no idea if she realized it, but boy did I feel odd. :lol:


Edited by Hellogoodbyedeath (11/19/13 06:46 PM)


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Invisiblepirate-blues
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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: Hellogoodbyedeath] * 8
    #19161350 - 11/19/13 07:07 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

HAH. hahahaha, haaaah....I have a lot. Don't have time to post them all but in a nutshell :

Friend and I had a heart to heart in a drunken stupor with some dudes who literally had to help me walk to my seat in a pizza restaurant. 209324th heart to heart with amused strangers of the night. After my friend tells them we're underage by excitedly telling them she just turned 20 and I was 19, they ask us what we did, I asked "what about you?" trying not to fall out of my chair.

The one guy starts chuckling and goes 'don't tell them what you do, dude'
The other guy just light heartedly takes something out of his jacket, and puts it infront of us on the table.

Police badge.


...awkward.

Luckily, he was off duty. But, there was the most epic moment of uncomfortable silence I have ever experienced right after he put the badge infront of us, the comedic timing was perfect.

Also passed out in a gigantic costumed character suit. Passed out in CVS and knocked over an entire shelf on another occasion. oops.

Had to explain to my parents that I lost my car and wasn't sure if it was because I forgot where I parked or it was stolen. I couldn't find it for 2 days and just assumed it was on a street I didn't normally park on(street parking in philly booo).
Look up my police district and call to report it stolen, the lady tells me I have to call 911.
Call 911, have to call in late to work and explain the situation.
4 hours after calling 911 no one has shown up still :frown:
....so I call 911 again.
...turns out it got towed after all :shrug:


Edited by pirate-blues (11/25/13 07:57 PM)


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Offlinemushroom_sandwich
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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: pirate-blues] * 7
    #19161399 - 11/19/13 07:15 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

too many to list, but I've been caught jacking off by my dad and my best friend, when my friend caught me I was like a second away from orgasm so I just finished, walked out, and said I don't give a fuck.

But I gave so many fucks. :sad:


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“I believe in a long, prolonged derangement of the senses to attain the unknown. Our pale reasoning hides the infinite from us."



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OfflineHellogoodbyedeath

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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: mushroom_sandwich] * 1
    #19161425 - 11/19/13 07:19 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

:feelsbadman:


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OfflineXUL
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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: Hellogoodbyedeath] * 2
    #19161436 - 11/19/13 07:21 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Walking in on my parents full s&m gear.

:lolsy:


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Offlineakira_akuma
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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: XUL]
    #19161449 - 11/19/13 07:23 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

WHOA! :lol:


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InvisibleShroomopotamus
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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: akira_akuma]
    #19161459 - 11/19/13 07:26 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

My dad knock knock knockin on my door while I was fucking a girl a night or two after losing my virginity, all pissed off because he could hear the bed rockin' er something through the ceiling.


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Offlinedontknow
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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: akira_akuma]
    #19161461 - 11/19/13 07:26 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

9th grade, in class my buddy commented on my boner and the teacher heard, and she was a cute 20 something artsy type who i had a crush on. so i felt very awkward making eye contact with her for a while


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:box:

The discerning heart seeks knowledge, but the mouth of a fool feeds on folly. -Proverbs 15:14

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Offlineakira_akuma
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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: dontknow]
    #19161472 - 11/19/13 07:28 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

ooh, yeah... one time i had a crush on a teacher (social worker actually) and a kid said that i wanted to bang her, right in front of her, in Lunch... and i was like "don't listen to him"; and she was all like :datass:

i guess it was sorta awkward, considering every interaction with that chick afterwards concerned my dick even more then usual... cause then she knew!1 O_O


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Invisiblepirate-blues
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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: akira_akuma] * 3
    #19161863 - 11/19/13 08:32 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

ooohhh shit. here's another good one.

I was in a childrens rendition of The Hobbit when I was little, and some of the other kids would pop up randomly at different points in my life years later.
So, one night I'm with a friend and we have to go get a mutual friend who needs a ride home from an apartment somewhere in north phila, he was totally incapacitated kinda drunk. So we finally find it, and knock on the door of the place.

Door opens to a completely dark apartment, pitch black. A random shirtless guy with a towel around his waist greets up with a really cryptic corny joke about how shady it was. Everyone was crashed at that point, and from somewhere else in the apartment a girl asks us to close the door so the hallway light didn't get in.

So my friend(who knew the kid we were picking up better than me at that point) marches to the bathroom, where he is sitting in the shower with it running, and I just kinda stand awkwardly by the door in the pitch dark alone.

Suddenly I hear a voice that's very familiar. It's Bilbo fucking Baggins, making out with the guy in the towel like 3 feet away from me. It is so dark in the apartment that they don't even know I'm standing RIGHT THERE.  I frantically debated whether I should be like "OMG LONG TIME NO SEE WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE??" or just stay very still and not breath, after like a minute I figured it was way too late to suddenly speak up and just froze while they made out close enough that I had to hold my breath to stay hidden.


so fucking awkward, people from my past pop up in the strangest places.


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Offlineakira_akuma
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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: pirate-blues]
    #19161924 - 11/19/13 08:42 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

that's actually kinda scary.


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Offlinemushroom_sandwich
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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: pirate-blues] * 4
    #19161928 - 11/19/13 08:43 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

:curbyourenthusiasm:

ohhhhh man pirate that's hilarious, it reminds me of this one time me and a bunch of friends were all crashing at someones house, and my best friend at the time was with the guy who she had just started dating and all three of us were crashing in the living room. Me on one couch them on the other when all of a sudden I hear the guy mention how much he likes her ass, and they start talking dirty. I guess they thought I was asleep?

SO being the gentleman that I am, I lifted up my shirt and proceeded to smack my stomach over and over while softly moaning so it sounded like I was jacking off. Got reeeally quiet. :lol:

It was probably more awkward for them though.


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“I believe in a long, prolonged derangement of the senses to attain the unknown. Our pale reasoning hides the infinite from us."



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Offlineakira_akuma
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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: mushroom_sandwich]
    #19162006 - 11/19/13 08:51 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

:sploosh:


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Invisiblepirate-blues
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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: akira_akuma]
    #19162009 - 11/19/13 08:52 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

akira_akuma said:
that's actually kinda scary.







The situation or me creeping in the dark three feet away from them without them knowing :uhoh:.

Both probably, huh lol. The whole thing was just too...idk....:woooaaahhh:



We actually hung out with the apartment dwellers the next night at a much tamer dinner party, they were all very chill, and I reconnected with Bilbo...and totally didn't mention the night before....ever lol. I would have been more shocked to find him making out with a lady honestly :shrug:, even though he never officially came out before(he popped up at other times in my life as well.)


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Offlineakira_akuma
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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: pirate-blues]
    #19162086 - 11/19/13 09:08 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

all the darkness and noises i imagined while reading your post... scared me. seriously. i knew it... i was just thinking... you live i either New York or Philly... and sure enough... Philly. that's the picture in my head, just dark city and brickwork and "apartment dwellers" (:lol:) that's just OoOoOoOoOo


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Offlinerew736
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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: akira_akuma]
    #19162190 - 11/19/13 09:13 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

:creepylurker::threadmonitor:


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My trade list
malicom said:
"Banana's emit radiation. In fact banannas are the standard in detecting solar radiation. The radiation read from a bananna tells scientists how active the sun was during the growing season. Make sure to steer clear of bananas too."
seekaytea said:
"I need to stop spending all my money on plants and take up a cheaper hobby, like heroin."
Wiccan_Seeker said:
"Your knowledge on male-on-male rape and willingness to engage in fantasy regarding the matter is commendable."
eminemvs.slimshady said:
"I want to know if they are active and magic or not. And if they are not active, can i pick them before they are active and then they will become active or do they have to grow till they activate?"


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OfflineSteelPanther


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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: rew736] * 1
    #19162252 - 11/19/13 09:23 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Recently I was in my backyard naked smoking weed. I heard some noises from the side yard so I listened and didn't hear much more so I waited a second and went to look (I stuck my head around the corner).. yikes its the pool man and he was like 10 feet from the corner. So as fast as I could I sprinted across my backyard grabbed my bubbler and weed, and went inside. The awkward part is I don't know if he turned the corner before I went inside. Then I put shorts on to go get my water, I said hi to him but since I had just smoked my voice sounded very weird and he didn't reply.


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Everything I say on here is not true, I am an insecure person who lies about doing drugs and stuff to make myself feel good. So any illegal things I may have talked about are all fictional.


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InvisibleRepertoire89
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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: skatealex2] * 4
    #19162282 - 11/19/13 09:27 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Probably when I was tripping face and took a big explosive diarrhea shit in a gas station bathroom, lasted a good 10min and came out all pale / clammy. I could hear the attendants whispering through the door about what bad things cocaine does to your body



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Invisiblefungusmuncher
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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: Repertoire89] * 5
    #19162372 - 11/19/13 09:42 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Like 4 years ago I was visiting my moms house with my girlfriend (now wife).  My wife and I got shitfaced drunk and horny so we started getting it on.  About halfway through I dismount her, kneel on the floor beside the bed and start eating her out.  My mom walks in, no knocking or anything just barges in and sees me kneeled over the bed with a rock hard cock with my face in my girlfriends puss.  All she says is "oh god" and closes the door.  That was an awkward family breakfast the next morning.  She never said a thing about it though, damn near forgot about it until getting into this thread.  :facepalm3:


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InvisibleNWlight
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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: fungusmuncher]
    #19162389 - 11/19/13 09:45 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

bangin my girlfriend in a forest and this chick walks by on the path.

she just looks wide-eyed at us as she goes by.

I didn't exactly stop either.

if my gf wasn't pretty conservative i could've worked that into a 3some


that is some legit porn scene setup right there


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:wizard::deemsters:


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Offlinemushroom_sandwich
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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: NWlight]
    #19162395 - 11/19/13 09:47 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

lololol I miss the joys of banging in a forest


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“I believe in a long, prolonged derangement of the senses to attain the unknown. Our pale reasoning hides the infinite from us."



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InvisibleNWlight
Just look


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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: mushroom_sandwich]
    #19162399 - 11/19/13 09:47 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

i like your new sig bro :lol:


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Offlinemushroom_sandwich
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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: NWlight]
    #19162415 - 11/19/13 09:50 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

NWlight said:
i like your new sig bro :lol:



I've always had this sig lol? but it is pretty great.
It's my computer background too.


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“I believe in a long, prolonged derangement of the senses to attain the unknown. Our pale reasoning hides the infinite from us."



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InvisibleNWlight
Just look


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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: mushroom_sandwich]
    #19162419 - 11/19/13 09:51 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

wtf really?

maybe i just never looked closely at it before :shrug:  hilarious anyway


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Offlinemushroom_sandwich
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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: NWlight]
    #19162421 - 11/19/13 09:51 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

thanks man! I dig the new profile pic :lol:


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“I believe in a long, prolonged derangement of the senses to attain the unknown. Our pale reasoning hides the infinite from us."



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InvisibleNWlight
Just look


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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: mushroom_sandwich]
    #19162434 - 11/19/13 09:53 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

haha everlong is a boss :thumbup:


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OfflineUzziel
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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: mushroom_sandwich]
    #19162456 - 11/19/13 09:57 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

I fell asleep during Chem class due to binging on drugs in highschool. It was a monday morning and I had done a ton of MDMA over the weekend and didn't sleep well.

Well, I fell asleep and was promptly woken up by my teacher, she told me to do the problem on the board. Now, there generally wouldn't be an issue because I didn't have any issues regarding what we were doing.

The biggest problem, is that Dr. Dick was awake and ready to say hello to everyone.

I was so fucked up though that I didn't realize it until I had stood up, with everyone looking at my erection in my sweat pants.... the teacher told me to sit down right away.

It was so embarrassing, but thinking back on it, its hilarious. I also got laid from a girl in that class, though I'm not sure how relevant that truly was. :lol:


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Offlineakira_akuma
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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: Uzziel]
    #19162460 - 11/19/13 09:59 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

if you can pull it off, it's usually likely to get girls off. because dude... i mean, it's morning wood... nothing you can do about that, other then play it off like a boss.

own it!


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Invisiblepirate-blues
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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: akira_akuma]
    #19162471 - 11/19/13 10:00 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

akira_akuma said:
all the darkness and noises i imagined while reading your post... scared me. seriously. i knew it... i was just thinking... you live i either New York or Philly... and sure enough... Philly. that's the picture in my head, just dark city and brickwork and "apartment dwellers" (:lol:) that's just OoOoOoOoOo







Oh yeah, I totally get what you mean. There's a quote by David Lynch that sums up my feelings on the matter very accurately.



"Yes, Philadelphia is horrible, but in a very interesting way. There were places there that had been allowed to decay, where there was so much fear and crime that just for a moment there was an opening to another world. It was fear, but it was so strong, and so magical, like a magnet, that your imagination was always sparking in Philadelphia...I just have to think of Philadelphia now, and I get ideas, I hear the wind, and I'm off into the darkness somewhere."


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Offlineberdinwall
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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: pirate-blues]
    #19162492 - 11/19/13 10:02 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

my favorite rapper ever is from there, black thought


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Offlinenicechrisman
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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: skatealex2] * 3
    #19162498 - 11/19/13 10:04 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

My whole fucking life


--------------------
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it teaches its lessons whether you like/dislike them or not."

John C. Lily

 


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InvisibleJvells
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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: NWlight] * 1
    #19162530 - 11/19/13 10:10 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

This thread is crackin me up:curbyourenthusiasm:

It was christmas time a few years ago and my parents hosted the christmas party for the family. Well, me having porked my girl the day prior I was havin some damn horny thoughts for a 17 year old goin on while I was texting her, this was after everybody passed out presents...so I snuck upstairs mad quick to pinch one out. Well, I guess my fuckin sister (who wasnt living with me at the time) must have saw me head upstairs and figured I was goin to smoke bud, so her and her boyfriend went up to try and catch me smoking bud, say what's up, and check out my new pieces...but instead saw my fucking pants dropped and me sitting on a chair with my ass facing them while im just fapping away.

It get's better though, because I mauled the fuck outta my girl I wanted to see an absolute slamming for a video. I found a fucking interracial video and I figured ah what the hell, mix it up yah know? It was one of those ones where the black dude has a footlong massive cock and he just wrecks this young blonde slut. Yeah, well they ended up reading the title and left laughing their asses off. The rest of the party they were trying to be funny about it when the family was around but thankfully nobody picked up on anything and got their hints, fucking dicks haha.


Edited by Jvells (11/20/13 07:14 AM)


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Offlinewatermelon mon
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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: Jvells]
    #19162572 - 11/19/13 10:19 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

lol

yeah I have been caught jacking off before too you guys  :ashamed:
and got caught doing stuff with my ex girlfriend before


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Onlineshivas.wisdom
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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: pirate-blues] * 8
    #19162588 - 11/19/13 10:21 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Well, I'm not easily put off--but I feel I have experienced some things that would make other folks feel awkward.

First to come to mind?

Standing on the side of the highway, east side of Medicine Hat, Alberta--getting ready to hitch-hike to Ontario. Before I even have my hitching hat on (a bright orange toque), a minivan has pulled over--driven by an old guy (late 40s, early 50s) and his dog. I walk up and ask where he is going--all the way to Sault Sainte Maria--I hop in--he starts driving.

Literally, the first thing he says to me is "I'm gay, I was abused as a child, and I like to talk about sex. I hope none of this will bother you." (I said no, but in retrospect, such a sentence should have set off alarms).

He was subtle about it--at first--talking about how I may want to hang out at his place for a little bit at the end of this stretch of road--we were looking at about three days together--dropping hints like "I have a jacuzzi. *smirk*" on me--eventually, he asks "Where do you plan to sleep tonight? There is space in the van with me if you want."

To which I respond, "That's alright, but I have a tent that I will just set up outside."

To which he responds, "Well, to be honest, I'd kinda prefer if you would sleep in the van with me at night."

I counter with, "Well, to be honest, I'd kinda prefer to sleep in my tent."

He asked me to think on it, and we drove on in silence.

After a while, he says "Can I ask you something?"

"Ok."

"Well, lets say you decide to sleep in the van tonight, and I happen to wake up in the middle of the night and look over at you and I notice that you have a hard on--would you mind if... you know... I masturbated to that?"

To which I could only reply, "Well, as I said earlier, I don't plan on sleeping in the van with you."

It was at this time that I decided to cut through the awkwardness and told him: "I can respect your lifestyle as a gay man, but I'm not gay so I hope you will respect that."

NOPE

For the next eight hours or so we drove through Saskatchewan--basically a featureless plain where the only distraction is conversation--and the main feature of our conversation? His attempts to convince me to allow his decrepit old man hands (and mouth :shocked: ) to caress this body o' mine--some choice quotes:

him-"I'm doing you a favour, you can do me a favour."

.

him-"Have you ever had a man suck your dick?"
me-"Nope."
h-"How can you know you won't enjoy it than? I've had both and men are better--they know how you would want a dick sucked."
m-"That's probably true, but I'm still not attracted by the thought of feeling facial hair rubbing my genitals."
h-"Just close your eyes and pretend your getting a blowjob from a girl than."
m-"I doesn't work that way."

.

him-"I know you're not gay, just make an exception for me. You can go home after and no one will ever know."
me-"I'll know!"
h-"Just once, you can't know you don't like something if you never try it."
m-"I don't need to have sex with a man to know I'm not attracted to men, man."

.

him-"Well, if you won't sleep in the van, can I at least look at you in your tent while I masturbate?"
me-"What? I sleep in my clothes and inside of a sleeping bag--and my tent is a one man windowless setup--what will you even see?"
h-"Well, don't you think you could maybe sleep in underwear and I could stick my head inside while you fall asleep?"
m-"No man, do what you want in the van but stay away from my tent."

.

him-"What if someone offered you 50$ to suck your dick?"
me-"I don't need 50$ that badly."

.

As we approached Brandon, Manitoba his tactics changed--he started begging--pleading--threatening--and I decided I didn't want to be with this guy come sundown--so I told him I would get out when we reached civilization again...

Pulling over in Brandon, MB. I get out.

Most awkward goodbye ever.


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Offlinenicechrisman
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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: shivas.wisdom]
    #19162612 - 11/19/13 10:24 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

That would be a bit awkward


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Offlineakira_akuma
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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: shivas.wisdom] * 5
    #19162616 - 11/19/13 10:24 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

people should +1 OP.


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InvisibleJvells
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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: shivas.wisdom]
    #19162638 - 11/19/13 10:27 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Another top awkward moment wasn't for me but was for my ex. It was my birthday party and I was playing guitar with my ex and my mom asked her to play a certain song except she called my ex by my ex ex's name on accident...in front of the whole family. Lol, I could tell my mom felt bad for the poor girl. My family didn't know the ex ex but they could tell by my ex's reaction that somethin wasn't right lmao.

An awkward time for me was last week at the gym I was riding the bike and this gay dude went on the one in front of me and he had a fucking tramp stamp of a horse, I swear on a stack of bibles.


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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: Jvells]
    #19162846 - 11/19/13 11:14 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Mmmm....the first time I tried mushrooms it was kinda impulsively and that batch was waaay more potent than what my friend thought. I mistakenly assumed mushrooms were easier to handle than acid, and was like 'i'll totally be able to function and mingle with drunk people and not let on to the fact that I'm tripping, no problem'. Wow. just fucking...wowwwwww.



They really kicked in right as I was reaching to shake this guys hand who introduced himself, and I just fucking froze. I'm not really sure what kinda look I gave him, but when he left later on I was coming down and he bid everyone fairwell and he just said "woo, yeah, you did it" after I finally completed the handshake.



The whole night was the most socially awkward night of my liffeeee. also i hit ego death. during the come up the body load for me was soo intense and I was having issues navigating my backyard, so I mainly tried to stay by the fire and kept wrapping my arms around myself super tightly..and I really didn't want to get up and run around like myfriends who were tripping were doing.

But I finally just got up and literally ran away in the middle of a conversation with no explanation, pretty much because I saw my friend also running away in a panda hat(she was peaking too.


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Offlineakira_akuma
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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: pirate-blues]
    #19162851 - 11/19/13 11:15 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

love those trips where nothing makes sense.


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InvisibleCelestial Traveler
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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: skatealex2] * 2
    #19163045 - 11/20/13 12:25 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

I used to smoke joints at the top of a stairwell in my old college dorm building - the stairwell would go up one story past the highest residential floor to some janitorial closet or something.  Nobody ever came up there, and the weed smoke did not seem to create a noticeable smell so it all worked.

One day I decided to smoke a cigarillo up there, but stupid me did not think that unlike weed, the rillo would stink up the entire stairwell...it did.

I spit a lot as I smoked it on the ground, and I really had to pee so I took my belt and I was about to pee in a trash can when two RA's (both girls) walked up the stairs to see where the rillo smell was coming from, and they looked at me right as I was touching my belt loop trying to put my belt back on really fast, holding a rillo in one hand and a bunch of spit on the floor (that might have looked like something else to them.)


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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: Celestial Traveler]
    #19163059 - 11/20/13 12:28 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Being 22 years old in a first semester english class at a community college was pretty damn awkward. People just fucking knew I was out of place.


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OfflineNiNJa420
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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: schwarg]
    #19163531 - 11/20/13 04:08 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

One night I got home from a date with my girlfriend at the time. And my sister needed help putting her lip ring in. And I forgot to wash my hands, guess what I just got done doing to my girlfriend in my car before I dropped her off.. let's just say my sister noticed and then puked all over me.
One day my buddy and I were digging through his parents room lookin for smokes and we stumbled across his moms dildo, so i took it and slapped him across the face with it and he started crying.
And one night his mom took her shirt off and tried tackling me onto her bed asking if I wanted to wrestle while she was grabbing my dick. I threw her off me, ran out of her room to tell my friend what happened. (obviously she was ugly or I would've done it)to this dhe still thinks I fucked her.


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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: NiNJa420]
    #19163574 - 11/20/13 04:43 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Long story but a fun one to recount. might be a little tl;dr

Was at a Halloween party about 3 years back. Went with two friends of mine to one of his co-workers places. We all decided to do corpse makeup. So we get there and when the dude opens the door a huge cloud of pot smoke comes forth behind him like he just descended from the heavens or something. Was probably around 30 or so people there and out of that maybe 5 other people with any sort of costume. So I already feel weird. The drinking commences immediately while I look for the first person I can to score a toke off of. So about an hour and a half in I've mixed probably 4 different kinds of liquor and had a couple beers on top of that. I don't hold my booze very well for the record. So then I find this dude with a bong and get about two rips. Bad idea. I always fucking end up regretting smoking AFTER I drink. So I'm standing by the kitchen counter with my buddy and these two chicks. It becomes clear to me at this point that I'm in no shape to do any hitting on anyone as I feel the pukage is imminent. So I tell them I'm gonna get some air. I walk back to my car to get a second to myself and then I'm sitting in my front seat with sweaty makeup running down my face. It's right on this street called Beach Blvd in Huntington Beach. Tons of pigs, tons of prostitutes, drug dealers etc. So about 3 pigs pull into this parking lot within about 5 minutes of each other and I decide fuck this, throw the keys in the back seat and relax in the rear, don't want to arouse suspicion. 5 minutes later my cheeks fill up with a mass of intestinal expulsion and I grab for the door handle but it wont fucking open. I've got this shit nearly dripping out my mouth while i'm looking for any way to get out of this fucking car. I unlock it form the drivers seat and spew it all over the blacktop.

Then things begin to get interesting. After that I need some air and I'm sitting on the curb by my car with the paint dripping off my face and onto the floor and my clothes. I must look like a fucking whackjob at this point. 10 people or so pass giving me weird looks, laughing as they walk into the distance. Then a pig pulls up. Heads in the same direction as the previous ones.....then glances over and stops. He puts that fucking gun lantern thing from his dashboard and shines it on me, effectively making me blind. Asks what I'm doing, I say waiting for my Ride. Asks why I've got shit on my face. I say "I was practicing for Halloween next week." Then he sees the puke and asks, "is that yours?" I say "yeah I had bad eggs at Dennys." Then he says cut the shit where's the party. Then I just tell him, "if I knew you think I'd be sitting on this curb with paint on my face?" He drives off. Was pretty awkward.  :awesurprise:


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OfflineMushy Apple
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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: schwarg] * 1
    #19163676 - 11/20/13 06:15 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Jumping over a fence at the house I was visiting 3 hot sister at. Landing on the other side i let go the biggest fart any one has ever herd. . . And the sisters all started laughing. . . .HAHAHAHAHA


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OfflineGrigore
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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: schwarg]
    #19163683 - 11/20/13 06:17 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Long story short,few years ago I was having a weird passion that consisted in perforating the brain of dead animals and penetrating them.I was depositing the brains in the fridge and one night my grandmother caught me fucking a dog's brain,1 week later she died.


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InvisibleTrentBoyett
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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: skatealex2]
    #19163737 - 11/20/13 06:40 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

I don't have awkward moments like all of you guys...

I get drunk and make an ass of myself quite regularly though.

The last time I got really drunk I told some girl that I liked that I was a virgin, went on a rant about herpes for some reason, confessed my love for her(after only knowing her for a few hours), then told her I smoked crack before... The last comment ended the whole party, everyone was like fuck this and left.

Then I went back to my friend's apartment with my friend and his friend, who happened to be black, he started lightweight talkin' shit, so I called him a nigger 100 times(completely out of character for me, I'm not a racist person) then we fought. I'm sure the girl heard about this too because she knows both of the guys I was with...

I haven't seen or talked to this girl since, I'm thinking about facebooking her, good idea right?

I only just met her earlier that day, but she was like perfect, she had a top notch personality, she was sexy, she had a wicked awesome Boston accent, and for some reason she spent most of her time talking to me.


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Offlinerobbyberto
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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: Grigore] * 1
    #19164035 - 11/20/13 09:02 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Grigore said:
Long story short,few years ago I was having a weird passion that consisted in perforating the brain of dead animals and penetrating them.I was depositing the brains in the fridge and one night my grandmother caught me fucking a dog's brain,1 week later she died.




Dude, wait, what?!


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Invisiblepsi
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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: robbyberto]
    #19164044 - 11/20/13 09:05 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Grigore is a tryhard troll, currently banned until 2016.


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Offline245willow19

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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: psi]
    #19164069 - 11/20/13 09:14 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

I once had sex with my friend's grandma, then I woke up and realized I didn't have a dog...who did I fuck then? I am joking


Anyway I have some crazy awkward moments like the time I grinded my teacher and got an erection and I think she noticed it :crazy: from that day on, she always asked my brother's where I was at and all. She became obessesed.


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OfflineJamaican Hotbox
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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: 245willow19] * 2
    #19164303 - 11/20/13 10:14 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Senior year of high school.

My girlfriend at the time and I were getting it on in my room while my sister and my mom was downstairs.

They had to know we had sex because I really gave it to her and my bed was making a lot of noise.. So was she :wink:

So we finish up and she has to leave and I'm just opening up my door when I notice that my shirt (never took it off) had a bunch of blood on it... I try to just take it off casually and toss it away not to embarrass her but she sees it. And with my door open shouts..

"Oh my god! I didn't know I was on my period! I'm so sorry blah blah blah!"

I got the weirdest looks from my mom and my sister as I was walking out the door with her.

To make it worse.. I just tossed the period blood soaked shirt into my closest and after smoking copious amounts of cannabis I totally forgot about it all together.

Well my mom found it and scrubbed the blood out of it! hahaha


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InvisibleEllisDSox
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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: Jamaican Hotbox]
    #19164312 - 11/20/13 10:16 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

To make it worse.. I just tossed the period blood soaked shirt into my closest and after smoking copious amounts of cannabis I totally forgot about it all together.

Well my mom found it and scrubbed the blood out of it! hahaha




Quote:

Amazon Shop for: Toilet Paper




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OfflineGrigore
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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: psi]
    #19185420 - 11/25/13 03:35 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

You either are joking or I'm not Grigore. :evil:


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Invisiblepirate-blues
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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: Grigore]
    #19185432 - 11/25/13 03:55 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Recently,


I was DDing for a friends bday out of town, didn't really know where I was going so my eyes were pretty well focused on the road. Had a few drunk people in the car. Friend in passenger seat thanks me graciously and puts his hand on my shoulder.

Apparently he was also simultaneously flashing his weiner at me. Another friend took a picture.

I did not realize this for an entire week until my other friend told me this.

It's not really that awkward I guess, because I had no clue what was going on, and we're way too comfortable around each other, but it was a really great attempt at making the situation awkward.


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OfflineConstantine
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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: Grigore]
    #19185440 - 11/25/13 04:08 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Grigore said:
Long story short,few years ago I was having a weird passion that consisted in perforating the brain of dead animals and penetrating them.I was depositing the brains in the fridge and one night my grandmother caught me fucking a dog's brain,1 week later she died.




Patrick Bateman, is that you ?


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InvisibleInto The Woods
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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: NiNJa420] * 4
    #19185468 - 11/25/13 04:41 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

NiNJa420 said:
One day my buddy and I were digging through his parents room lookin for smokes and we stumbled across his moms dildo, so i took it and slapped him across the face with it and he started crying.





:laugh2:


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Offlineakira_akuma
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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: Into The Woods]
    #19186722 - 11/25/13 12:09 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

haha, hahahahaha... oy.

i found my mom's dildo too with a friend, looking for some weed my mom had... it wasn't so much embarrassing, as it was hysterical; but i wasn't slapped in the face with it though. :curbyourenthusiasm:


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OfflineThe5thElement
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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: akira_akuma]
    #19186766 - 11/25/13 12:17 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Fuck man if you think that's bad one time I was like 16-17 and I could smell weed in the house, so I sniffed it out and found this gigantic bag of weed, with probably 60-70 golfball sized buds in my parents room. So the next day me and my girlfriend at the time go back into my parents and room and search for the giant bag of weed, only this time they moved it and instead of finding the bag, we found this plastic container with literally about 6-7 differnt dildos and crazy sex toys I've never even knew existed, shit was fucking CRAZY!!!


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Offlinethilfee
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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: mushroom_sandwich]
    #19186778 - 11/25/13 12:19 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

mushroom_sandwich said:
too many to list, but I've been caught jacking off by my dad and my best friend, when my friend caught me I was like a second away from orgasm so I just finished, walked out, and said I don't give a fuck.

But I gave so many fucks. :sad:




:lol:


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Offlinekoods
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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: thilfee]
    #19186785 - 11/25/13 12:22 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

I'll just quote from a post I made few months ago.

Quote:

koods said:
About a month ago, I found myself a short term fuck buddy. He grew up in this area, but no linger lives here and was just visiting his sister for a couple weeks. We hooked up a couple times before he left around the middle August.

This morning, I got a text from him saying he was here for a long weekend, and we should get together. Unfortunately, we just couldn't arrange any privacy today, so the plan was to meet tomorrow. Well, about two hours ago he texted and said his sister and her husband were about to leave to catch a movie and I should come over shortly. :rockon:

I got there around 9:15 - timed to just miss the sister yet afford the largest window of opportunity. We chatted a bit then got down to business. On the couch. In the living room. Just about the time he was a six and I was a nine, the front door burst open and we suddenly had an audience. The movie was sold out. We grabbed a blanket, they took off up the stairs. He looked mortified. I said "let me know how this goes," and left. :facepalm:

I don't recall ever being so embarrassed — although I am aware I'm probably not in the best condition to judge. I'm still shaking. I wish I had a clonazepam. And, on top of that, I've been horny as shit all fucking day and I just got cock blocked so badly it's out of commission. At least I got a new story.




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Offlinethilfee
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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: koods]
    #19186801 - 11/25/13 12:26 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

What do you mean by "he was a 6 and you were a nine'?


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OfflineThe5thElement
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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: thilfee]
    #19186808 - 11/25/13 12:28 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

69 man  :eatingout:  :fonda:  :blowme:  :eatadick:


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Offlinethilfee
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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: The5thElement]
    #19186821 - 11/25/13 12:31 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

:lol:
damn that would suck being in that position cause it would be in your head forever and might even turn into a nasty fetish


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Offlineakira_akuma
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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: The5thElement]
    #19186822 - 11/25/13 12:31 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

The5thElement said:
Fuck man if you think that's bad one time I was like 16-17 and I could smell weed in the house, so I sniffed it out and found this gigantic bag of weed, with probably 60-70 golfball sized buds in my parents room. So the next day me and my girlfriend at the time go back into my parents and room and search for the giant bag of weed, only this time they moved it and instead of finding the bag, we found this plastic container with literally about 6-7 differnt dildos and crazy sex toys I've never even knew existed, shit was fucking CRAZY!!!





LOLOLOLOLOL


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OfflineThe5thElement
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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: akira_akuma]
    #19186881 - 11/25/13 12:50 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

This was legit a true story, not trolling people :pierre1:


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Offlineakira_akuma
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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: The5thElement]
    #19186890 - 11/25/13 12:52 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

no, i know. i'm saying your dad trolled you! :lol: hardcore. "honey, this bag look light to you?" "YA!" "well, i think i know what to do..."

*replaces with dildos and S&M gear*

"that'll show him who's boss"



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Offlinemorrowasted
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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: The5thElement]
    #19186891 - 11/25/13 12:53 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

I once accidentally kissed a girl dead on the lips when I used a water fountain and turned around too quickly with my lips pursed for some reason. Fortunately I was seven years old so it wasn't a big deal.


Also my dad walked in me buttsexing my gf once but that wasnt really a big deal. I was more proud than anything


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OfflineThe5thElement
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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: akira_akuma]
    #19186897 - 11/25/13 12:54 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Man probably, back then they were totally opposed to me smoking weed; now I smoke with my dad all the time and they know I grow mushrooms :lol: the fuck?

I told my sister after I found it and then like a month later we were all sitting down and they brought it up and were all like "ya those were given to us from a friend", gtfo of here with that :lol:


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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: The5thElement]
    #19186902 - 11/25/13 12:56 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

oh yeah one time a kid pantsed me, boxers and all, in gym class in the seventh grade. that was a pretty embarrassing.


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OfflineThe5thElement
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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: morrowasted]
    #19186904 - 11/25/13 12:56 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

you should have yelled out THIS IS MY DICK AND I"M PROUD!!!


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Offlineakira_akuma
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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: The5thElement]
    #19186907 - 11/25/13 12:57 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

they were given to them, and they were placed in the nightstand as what... storage?!

LOL

(your parents seem cool as fuck... lol... fuck...)

Quote:

morrowasted said:
oh yeah one time a kid pantsed me, boxers and all, in gym class in the seventh grade. that was a pretty embarrassing.



i think you should have grabbed his head, put him on the ground, and pulled an Eminem.

"my momma's on your lips, my momma's on your lips; and if i'm lucky you might just give it a little kiss"


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OfflineThe5thElement
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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: akira_akuma]
    #19186913 - 11/25/13 12:59 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Yeah their good people, the bag of weed was in the nightstand but I found the box in their closet on the floor... It defiantly was not meant to be found :lol:


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Offlinemorrowasted
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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: The5thElement]
    #19186921 - 11/25/13 01:01 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

I thought the lyrics went, my bum is on your lips


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Offlinedontknow
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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: The5thElement]
    #19186924 - 11/25/13 01:01 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

:awegroove:


--------------------
:box:

The discerning heart seeks knowledge, but the mouth of a fool feeds on folly. -Proverbs 15:14

:tripping2: :shroomer:  :trippinballs: :shroomin:

“Imagination is everything. It is the preview of Life’s coming attractions.”
Albert Einstein


Edited by dontknow (11/26/13 11:57 AM)


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Offlineakira_akuma
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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: The5thElement]
    #19186931 - 11/25/13 01:03 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

lol, i don't think they are, but eh the analogy still works.

Quote:

The5thElement said:
Yeah their good people, the bag of weed was in the nightstand but I found the box in their closet on the floor... It defiantly was not meant to be found :lol:



lets just hope you don't wake up one day with the dils strung up over your bed. :whistling:


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OfflineThe5thElement
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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: akira_akuma]
    #19186954 - 11/25/13 01:10 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

I'd bust out laughing if that happened :lol:

Probably keep them there too for a bit :shrug:


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Offlineakira_akuma
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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: The5thElement] * 2
    #19186981 - 11/25/13 01:16 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

:freud: mom, dad, love the new decor.


:lol:


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OfflineJesusIsLord
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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: The5thElement]
    #19187023 - 11/25/13 01:28 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

well, years ago, I was inside my ex at her parents house on the couch with a blanket tossed over us so it just looked like cuddle time but in reality it was naughty timez. We are in the downstairs watching a show and her step dad comes down, looks at us and my dick just issues a full retreat command. We are...gently panting, muffled moans. It was, insanely fucking awkward. But, we managed to pull off a LOT of sex in that house without actually being caught...it was kinda ridiculous. That was like the biggest fucking turn off ever tho, just tapping my hot ex then BAM - old random fuck watching us on the couch with the tv on to cover the moaning. Ya. :Awemazing:

Many more stories than that, I has, but that was the first that came to mind.


--------------------


And I will bring you out from the people, and will gather you out of the countries wherein ye are scattered, with a mighty hand, and with a stretched out arm, and with fury poured out.


Edited by JesusIsLord (11/25/13 01:29 PM)


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OfflineThe5thElement
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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: akira_akuma]
    #19187717 - 11/25/13 04:15 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

akira_akuma said:
:freud: mom, dad, love the new decor.


:lol:





LOL Yessssss


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InvisibleRepertoire89
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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: JesusIsLord]
    #19187748 - 11/25/13 04:23 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

JesusIsLord said:
well, years ago, I was inside my ex at her parents house on the couch with a blanket tossed over us so it just looked like cuddle time but in reality it was naughty timez. We are in the downstairs watching a show and her step dad comes down, looks at us and my dick just issues a full retreat command. We are...gently panting, muffled moans. It was, insanely fucking awkward. But, we managed to pull off a LOT of sex in that house without actually being caught...it was kinda ridiculous. That was like the biggest fucking turn off ever tho, just tapping my hot ex then BAM - old random fuck watching us on the couch with the tv on to cover the moaning. Ya. :Awemazing:

Many more stories than that, I has, but that was the first that came to mind.




:lol: just imagine getting caught


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OfflineJesusIsLord
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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: Repertoire89]
    #19187796 - 11/25/13 04:40 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Repertoire89 said:
Quote:

JesusIsLord said:
well, years ago, I was inside my ex at her parents house on the couch with a blanket tossed over us so it just looked like cuddle time but in reality it was naughty timez. We are in the downstairs watching a show and her step dad comes down, looks at us and my dick just issues a full retreat command. We are...gently panting, muffled moans. It was, insanely fucking awkward. But, we managed to pull off a LOT of sex in that house without actually being caught...it was kinda ridiculous. That was like the biggest fucking turn off ever tho, just tapping my hot ex then BAM - old random fuck watching us on the couch with the tv on to cover the moaning. Ya. :Awemazing:

Many more stories than that, I has, but that was the first that came to mind.




:lol: just imagine getting caught



fuck yeah dude it would've been fucking awful. like i said my dick was ordering a full retreat but pants were still down so if he'd have asked us to sit up it would've been like "uhhhhhhh.... no?"

:taco:

Her face always got blushed when I'd bang her too and her mom would always notice. Fuckin so many giveaways


--------------------


And I will bring you out from the people, and will gather you out of the countries wherein ye are scattered, with a mighty hand, and with a stretched out arm, and with fury poured out.


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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: skatealex2]
    #19187831 - 11/25/13 04:48 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

This was a very recent one. So about a month ago I was hanging out with this girl in her dorm. After copious amounts of Sailor Jerry and Kraken we decide to take a shower. So we walk to the shower with what was left of the Kraken bottle.

I ended up fucking her ass in the shower, and after I pulled out she shits. Right there in the shower! I guess it wasn't as awkward as it would have been if I was sober... But it was still pretty damn awkward.

:shrug:


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OfflineJesusIsLord
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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: RockyRaccoon]
    #19187837 - 11/25/13 04:49 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

RockyRaccoon said:
This was a very recent one. So about a month ago I was hanging out with this girl in her dorm. After copious amounts of Sailor Jerry and Kraken we decide to take a shower. So we walk to the shower with what was left of the Kraken bottle.

I ended up fucking her ass in the shower, and after I pulled out she shits. Right there in the shower! I guess it wasn't as awkward as it would have been if I was sober... But it was still pretty damn awkward.

:shrug:



:lolsy:

fuck yeah


--------------------


And I will bring you out from the people, and will gather you out of the countries wherein ye are scattered, with a mighty hand, and with a stretched out arm, and with fury poured out.


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InvisibleSynthe
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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: JesusIsLord]
    #19187839 - 11/25/13 04:50 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

JesusIsLord said:
Quote:

RockyRaccoon said:
This was a very recent one. So about a month ago I was hanging out with this girl in her dorm. After copious amounts of Sailor Jerry and Kraken we decide to take a shower. So we walk to the shower with what was left of the Kraken bottle.

I ended up fucking her ass in the shower, and after I pulled out she shits. Right there in the shower! I guess it wasn't as awkward as it would have been if I was sober... But it was still pretty damn awkward.

:shrug:



:lolsy:

fuck yeah



during anal shit happens


--------------------



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InvisibleRepertoire89
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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: RockyRaccoon]
    #19187860 - 11/25/13 04:57 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

RockyRaccoon said:

I ended up fucking her ass in the shower, and after I pulled out she shits. Right there in the shower! I guess it wasn't as awkward as it would have been if I was sober... But it was still pretty damn awkward.

:shrug:




:curbyourenthusiasm:


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InvisibleLarabar
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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: RockyRaccoon]
    #19187889 - 11/25/13 05:06 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

:cannotunsee: greasy from barresi


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OfflineShroomslip
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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: skatealex2] * 3
    #19187902 - 11/25/13 05:09 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Only thing that comes to mind is: Was sleeping when one morning I heard a ~bang~ ~bang~ ~bang~ on my door. I pretty much knew instantly it was a cop but didn't think to grab any clothes or anything (I sleep only in my boxers). So I hurry to the door and as I'm opening the door I notice all the bongs and shit in plain view if he steps 1 foot inside so I kind of just crack the door to block the view of it all and he tells me he needs to speak with me (and he seems pissed/typical douche bag power trip cop). I ask him if I can grab some clothes real quick and he says "no get out here now" so I have to step outside in only my boxers and I have a horrible case of morning wood just sticking straight out... Could've hung a wet towel on it. Soon as I step outside he looks down and he definitely looks surprised. Don't think he was quite expecting it. The tone in his voice changes pretty quick I think to stifling laughter or maybe it was just pure unease. So I grab it and tuck it into the elastic band and he goes on with his rant. After he's done I go back inside, smoke a bowl and go back to sleep.


--------------------
With my face against the floor I can’t see who knocked me out of the way.
I don’t want to get back up but I have to so it might as well be today.
Nothing appeals to me no one feels like me, I’m too busy being calm to disappear.
I’m in no shape to be alone contrary to the shit that you might hear.


You can't wake up, this is not a dream. You're part of a machine, you are not a human being
With your face all made up, living on a screen. Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline


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Offlinerew736
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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: Shroomslip]
    #19187986 - 11/25/13 05:27 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

HA! What did he rant about? What was his problem?


--------------------
My trade list
malicom said:
"Banana's emit radiation. In fact banannas are the standard in detecting solar radiation. The radiation read from a bananna tells scientists how active the sun was during the growing season. Make sure to steer clear of bananas too."
seekaytea said:
"I need to stop spending all my money on plants and take up a cheaper hobby, like heroin."
Wiccan_Seeker said:
"Your knowledge on male-on-male rape and willingness to engage in fantasy regarding the matter is commendable."
eminemvs.slimshady said:
"I want to know if they are active and magic or not. And if they are not active, can i pick them before they are active and then they will become active or do they have to grow till they activate?"


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OfflineShroomslip
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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: rew736]
    #19188026 - 11/25/13 05:35 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

I don't remember the specifics but he was there about a stolen car me and a friend and my brother had wrecked days before in a high speed chase. Friend took the whole rap and said me and brother didn't know anything about it being stolen (he had 4 warrants for stolen cars anyways) and I think the cops were mad they didn't/couldn't charge us with it or robbery. They harassed me about that shit for over a year before finally fucking off..

Long story short they're convinced we robbed a store on the other side of town from where the chase happened but even the guy working the register at the store says it wasn't us. They wanted me to roll over on my friend and say he robbed the store. They say we had no reason to run if we didn't rob the store, but the car being stolen is more than enough reason to run.. lol


--------------------
With my face against the floor I can’t see who knocked me out of the way.
I don’t want to get back up but I have to so it might as well be today.
Nothing appeals to me no one feels like me, I’m too busy being calm to disappear.
I’m in no shape to be alone contrary to the shit that you might hear.


You can't wake up, this is not a dream. You're part of a machine, you are not a human being
With your face all made up, living on a screen. Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline


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Offlinerew736
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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: Shroomslip]
    #19188198 - 11/25/13 06:13 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Ha. Interesting... Very good story thanks for sharing... Makes me laugh. I needed that today. Thank you good sir :hatsoff:


--------------------
My trade list
malicom said:
"Banana's emit radiation. In fact banannas are the standard in detecting solar radiation. The radiation read from a bananna tells scientists how active the sun was during the growing season. Make sure to steer clear of bananas too."
seekaytea said:
"I need to stop spending all my money on plants and take up a cheaper hobby, like heroin."
Wiccan_Seeker said:
"Your knowledge on male-on-male rape and willingness to engage in fantasy regarding the matter is commendable."
eminemvs.slimshady said:
"I want to know if they are active and magic or not. And if they are not active, can i pick them before they are active and then they will become active or do they have to grow till they activate?"


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Invisiblepirate-blues
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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: rew736]
    #19188901 - 11/25/13 08:25 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

This is kind of a long one, of another really stupid drunk moment, and this is honestly the short version of that night :

In another stupid drunk moment, while at a party where my friend of a friend had a friend there, four of us arrived pregamed to the point where the cab driver literally drove in circles for 10 minutes. I think I may have coerced my friend into agreeing to marry him at some point, and then I let him kiss me on the cheek as a goodbye(he was a stereotypical middle aged cab driver from Yemen or something...I was so drunk. I don't think I'm even capable of this level of intoxication anymore.).

So the point is we arrived at this party, four of us, two girls, and two gay guys (who were dealing with lots of sexual tension or some shit) and we were totally convinced we were on the other side of the city(Boston). ....Weeeellll it turns out we were still in my friend's neighborhood, but just too shitfaced to realize the cab driver had driven in circles.

At some point our two guy friends are like 'we wanna go back, we'll take a cab bla bla bla', so of course my friend and I know what's up.
We put them aside into some random bedroom in the apartment and she is VERY adamant that they don't do anything on her bed or her roommates bed.
Of course, I side with her, cuz that's just basic respect, yo.

In my intoxicated state, I decide we MUST all sign a contract stating that we will respect these wishes, in this poor guy's room, who we didn't know...and who didn't know us.

So I find a wire hangar with paper covering it(so only the 'hook' part of the wire was exposed) and find a pencil by digging through this poor kid's desk. Honestly, if there was anything incriminating, valuable, or whatever in there, I still have no clue...because I was blackout drunk.


And right as we all signed a friendship contract on this paper covered wire clothing hanger, in this random stranger's room, stating we are GREAT FRIENDS who will NOT have sex on our fellow friend's or their roommate's bed, this kid walks into his room....

And in the most earnest way possible, I tried to explain what was going on.
...he was not happy.



The two gay guys still ended up doing things on my friend's bed.


My friend and I left the party, decided to try and walk home and even though we were BLOCKS from her place, we thought we were on the other side of Boston.
Long story short, a bunch of really friendly guys(like 5 of them.....and it was just me and her, and we were schwasted) were like 'Oh yeah, we'll show you how to get back to your apartment'.

Well they lied, and suddenly we were walking up the steps to their apartment. All I remember thinking was 'wait...this isn't xxxxxx's apartment??! awww welllll"
I repeatedly complimented the décor, and then luckily my friend was a little less shitfaced, and literally dragged me to their restroom, and locked us inside for a good 15 minutes and we sat in their bathtub until she was sober enough to drag us both out of there without getting coerced into a gangbang, or whatever was going on there.


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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: pirate-blues]
    #19190053 - 11/26/13 01:03 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Another repost. This happened a long time ago.

Quote:

koods said:
I met some random dude in a bar, and we end up at the end of a very secluded cul-de-sac that borders rock creek park in his car. We park there and I jerk him off and he jerks me off, and JUST as I'm coming, a police car pulls up right behind us. :uhoh: One cop quickly approaches his window, the other, mine. I have cum all over me. My cop taps on the window with his lit flashlight. It is very clear what we've been up to. There is another cop car pulling up behind the first. I roll down the window, and he says "did either of you see two black teenagers running up this street?" We say we hadn't and the cop thanks us and they all leave.




--------------------
NotSheekle said
“if I believed she was 16 I would become unattracted to her”


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OfflineJesusIsLord
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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: koods]
    #19190061 - 11/26/13 01:06 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

koods said:
Another repost. This happened a long time ago.

Quote:

koods said:
I met some random dude in a bar, and we end up at the end of a very secluded cul-de-sac that borders rock creek park in his car. We park there and I jerk him off and he jerks me off, and JUST as I'm coming, a police car pulls up right behind us. :uhoh: One cop quickly approaches his window, the other, mine. I have cum all over me. My cop taps on the window with his lit flashlight. It is very clear what we've been up to. There is another cop car pulling up behind the first. I roll down the window, and he says "did either of you see two black teenagers running up this street?" We say we hadn't and the cop thanks us and they all leave.






you gay brah? :raveface:


--------------------


And I will bring you out from the people, and will gather you out of the countries wherein ye are scattered, with a mighty hand, and with a stretched out arm, and with fury poured out.


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Offlinekoods
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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: JesusIsLord]
    #19190066 - 11/26/13 01:09 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Occasionally jerking off guys in the car IS NOT gay.


--------------------
NotSheekle said
“if I believed she was 16 I would become unattracted to her”


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Offlineakira_akuma
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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: koods]
    #19190072 - 11/26/13 01:09 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

it's just mutual interest.


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Offlinekoods
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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: akira_akuma]
    #19190093 - 11/26/13 01:13 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Exactly. Since when does sharing a hobby make someone gay?

Also, I feel really guilty afterwards, so obvs not gay.


--------------------
NotSheekle said
“if I believed she was 16 I would become unattracted to her”


Edited by koods (11/26/13 01:14 AM)


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OfflineJesusIsLord
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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: koods]
    #19190104 - 11/26/13 01:17 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

koods said:
Exactly. Since when does sharing a hobby make someone gay?

Also, I feel really guilty afterwards, so obvs not gay.



:lolsy: sharing a hobby, indeed.


guilty eh? odd emotion to have with it but I've never been with a dude as a straight male so :shrug:


--------------------


And I will bring you out from the people, and will gather you out of the countries wherein ye are scattered, with a mighty hand, and with a stretched out arm, and with fury poured out.


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OfflineJesusIsLord
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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: koods]
    #19190107 - 11/26/13 01:18 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

koods said:
Occasionally jerking off guys in the car IS NOT gay.



whoa whoa calm down tiger, just a question hehehe.

but, for future reference, it is pretty gay :lolsy:


--------------------


And I will bring you out from the people, and will gather you out of the countries wherein ye are scattered, with a mighty hand, and with a stretched out arm, and with fury poured out.


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Offlinekoods
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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: JesusIsLord] * 3
    #19190178 - 11/26/13 01:47 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

JesusIsLord said:
Quote:

koods said:
Occasionally jerking off guys in the car IS NOT gay.



whoa whoa calm down tiger, just a question hehehe.

but, for future reference, it is pretty gay :lolsy:




You sound exactly like my ex boyfriend.


--------------------
NotSheekle said
“if I believed she was 16 I would become unattracted to her”


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Offline28064212
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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: robbyberto]
    #19190310 - 11/26/13 03:19 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

robbyberto said:
Quote:

Grigore said:
Long story short,few years ago I was having a weird passion that consisted in perforating the brain of dead animals and penetrating them.I was depositing the brains in the fridge and one night my grandmother caught me fucking a dog's brain,1 week later she died.




Dude, wait, what?!



Quote:

robbyberto said:
Quote:

Grigore said:
Long story short,few years ago I was having a weird passion that consisted in perforating the brain of dead animals and penetrating them.I was depositing the brains in the fridge and one night my grandmother caught me fucking a dog's brain,1 week later she died.




Dude, wait, what?!



Quote:

robbyberto said:
Quote:

Grigore said:
Long story short,few years ago I was having a weird passion that consisted in perforating the brain of dead animals and penetrating them.I was depositing the brains in the fridge and one night my grandmother caught me fucking a dog's brain,1 week later she died.




Dude, wait, what?!







:rofl2::vaped:
HOLY FUCKING SHIT THIS MADE ME LAUGH SOOOOO HARD

THAT'S NOT AN AWKWARD MOMENT

WELL YES IT IS

BUT IT'S SO DEPRAVED AND RANDOM THAT IT'S TOO FUNNY


--------------------


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OfflineTwinEclipse
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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: 28064212]
    #19190702 - 11/26/13 07:27 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

I was meeting up to get some MDMA from a dealer I didn't know yet. Waited at 7-11, and a car stopped like right next to me and we locked eyes.

Lol so I opened his side door and he was likeWHAT ARE YOU DOING?!

I gave a confused look and asked, "wait, you are the Molly dealer right? Points for $15?"


He was like..."no. Drugs are bad".


So I apologized and exited the car. The walk of shame back to my car was terrible :lol: but the goods came minutes later.:dancer:


--------------------
My purpose: to love, to share, and to experience....all while conforming to my psychedelic experiences.



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Offlineberdinwall
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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: TwinEclipse]
    #19190719 - 11/26/13 07:35 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

no drugs are bad...what a fuckin typical DARE program robotic fuckin response.


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InvisibleTrentBoyett
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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: berdinwall]
    #19190726 - 11/26/13 07:40 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

berdinwall said:
no drugs are bad...what a fuckin typical DARE program robotic fuckin response.



No, that would've been calling the police.

If someone said this shit to me I would just laugh.


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InvisibleBill_Oreilly
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Posts: 26,370
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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: TrentBoyett]
    #19190759 - 11/26/13 07:51 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

One of my most awkward moments is when I was in the heart of my heroin addiction and im in the bathroom trying to hit my mom in the neck with blood squirting all over the bathroom...it was just a mess. My life was a mess.


--------------------
Something there is mysteriously formed,
Existing before Heaven and Earth,
Silent, still, standing alone, unchanging,
All-pervading, unfailing,
I do not know its name; I call it tao.
If forced to give it a name, I call it
Great (ta). Being great, it flows out;
Flowing out means far-reaching;
Being far-reaching, it is said to return.


It's just a shot away..


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InvisibleJvells
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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: Bill_Oreilly]
    #19191051 - 11/26/13 09:35 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

My 2000th post :wink:

About a year ago I was spending the night over my buddies who had his girl over too. There were 6 or 7 of my other buddies there too and we all took some mxe/4-aco-dmt. Except me, i took an extreme amount of both because i always dosed high with them but this night i figured was perfect to see what the deepest of holes on the two would be like, well...i got it.

My subconscious basically took over me and i had so many thoughts going through my head at once i couldnt think before i said anything and practically spent the whole night in this hole yelling about how i need to fuck this dude's girl to stop my 'bad trip' of information overload. I swear to god this happened, when i came out of the hole it wasnt awkward because we're all fam and everybody knows she looks good so it was nbd but it had to be weird for them fucking in the other room while this dudes yellin about banging the hell out of your girl ahahaha. What was weird though was i had a girl i was so in love with at the time and would have never hurt so i found that interesting


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Offlinekoods
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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: berdinwall]
    #19191057 - 11/26/13 09:37 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

berdinwall said:
no drugs are bad...what a fuckin typical DARE program robotic fuckin response.




That is something people who use drugs think that people who are against drugs would say. The guy knew what Molly is.


--------------------
NotSheekle said
“if I believed she was 16 I would become unattracted to her”


Edited by koods (11/26/13 11:35 AM)


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Offlineberdinwall
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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: koods]
    #19191264 - 11/26/13 10:28 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Im somehow so high right now that that actually made sense


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Offlinekoods
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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: Bill_Oreilly]
    #19191569 - 11/26/13 11:40 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Bill_Oreilly said:
One of my most awkward moments is when I was in the heart of my heroin addiction and im in the bathroom trying to hit my mom in the neck with blood squirting all over the bathroom...it was just a mess. My life was a mess.




When I was in seventh grade, me and my friend got drunk at his house one day after school. I got totally plastered. He eventually walked me home- me trying to take all my clothes off the whole way down a busy street  He left me on my front doorstep, knocked and ran away. My parents had to put me in the bathtub and wash all the barf off. About 4am I woke up in my bed, very Ill and very confused about what was going on. Fortunately, I had totally blacked out and don't have to deal with memories of that humiliating night.


--------------------
NotSheekle said
“if I believed she was 16 I would become unattracted to her”


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Offlinespazmodog
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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: koods] * 1
    #19191643 - 11/26/13 11:56 AM (10 years, 2 months ago)

lol. imagine all the fucked up shit that could have happened that no-one remembers


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Offlinekoods
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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: spazmodog]
    #19191746 - 11/26/13 12:19 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

I had to wait a day to ask my friend why I had a huge bruise on my forehead. He said I walked into a tree.


--------------------
NotSheekle said
“if I believed she was 16 I would become unattracted to her”


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OfflineJesusIsLord
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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: koods]
    #19192162 - 11/26/13 01:48 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

koods said:
Quote:

JesusIsLord said:
Quote:

koods said:
Occasionally jerking off guys in the car IS NOT gay.



whoa whoa calm down tiger, just a question hehehe.

but, for future reference, it is pretty gay :lolsy:




You sound exactly like my ex boyfriend.



coincidence? I think not :pimp2:


--------------------


And I will bring you out from the people, and will gather you out of the countries wherein ye are scattered, with a mighty hand, and with a stretched out arm, and with fury poured out.


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InvisibleRepertoire89
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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: Bill_Oreilly]
    #19192248 - 11/26/13 02:06 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Bill_Oreilly said:
One of my most awkward moments is when I was in the heart of my heroin addiction and im in the bathroom trying to hit my mom in the neck with blood squirting all over the bathroom...it was just a mess. My life was a mess.




Was this when you were mushroomjesus?


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Offlinekoods
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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: JesusIsLord]
    #19192260 - 11/26/13 02:10 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

JesusIsLord said:
Quote:

koods said:
Quote:

JesusIsLord said:
Quote:

koods said:
Occasionally jerking off guys in the car IS NOT gay.



whoa whoa calm down tiger, just a question hehehe.

but, for future reference, it is pretty gay :lolsy:




You sound exactly like my ex boyfriend.



coincidence? I think not :pimp2:




That's right... I trolled Jesus. :taco:


--------------------
NotSheekle said
“if I believed she was 16 I would become unattracted to her”


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OfflineJesusIsLord
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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: koods]
    #19192266 - 11/26/13 02:12 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

:waitwhat:


--------------------


And I will bring you out from the people, and will gather you out of the countries wherein ye are scattered, with a mighty hand, and with a stretched out arm, and with fury poured out.


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InvisibleBill_Oreilly
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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: JesusIsLord]
    #19192425 - 11/26/13 02:48 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

JesusIsLord said:
:waitwhat:





I read your sig as "god is refined by fire" and it made just as much sense as 'gold is refined by fire', lol


and yea repertoire, it was when I da shroomjezus


--------------------
Something there is mysteriously formed,
Existing before Heaven and Earth,
Silent, still, standing alone, unchanging,
All-pervading, unfailing,
I do not know its name; I call it tao.
If forced to give it a name, I call it
Great (ta). Being great, it flows out;
Flowing out means far-reaching;
Being far-reaching, it is said to return.


It's just a shot away..


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OfflineJesusIsLord
Jesus freak


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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: Bill_Oreilly]
    #19192490 - 11/26/13 03:04 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Bill_Oreilly said:
Quote:

JesusIsLord said:
:waitwhat:





I read your sig as "god is refined by fire" and it made just as much sense as 'gold is refined by fire', lol


and yea repertoire, it was when I da shroomjezus



:philososloth:


--------------------


And I will bring you out from the people, and will gather you out of the countries wherein ye are scattered, with a mighty hand, and with a stretched out arm, and with fury poured out.


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OfflineShortknight
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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: Jamaican Hotbox]
    #19192930 - 11/26/13 04:36 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Jamaican Hotbox said:


To make it worse.. I just tossed the period blood soaked shirt into my closest and after smoking copious amounts of cannabis I totally forgot about it all together.

Well my mom found it and scrubbed the blood out of it! hahaha




Gotta love moms! Haha:peace:


--------------------
Did I say it too loud? Big heart? Or a little misleading!:musicnote:


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InvisibleBill_Oreilly
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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: JesusIsLord]
    #19192944 - 11/26/13 04:39 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

JesusIsLord said:
Quote:

Bill_Oreilly said:
Quote:

JesusIsLord said:
:waitwhat:





I read your sig as "god is refined by fire" and it made just as much sense as 'gold is refined by fire', lol


and yea repertoire, it was when I da shroomjezus



:philososloth:





It may sound nuts, but I imagine my ancient past as myself as a caveman tripping on mushrooms looking into a fire, seeing the past, present, and future.


--------------------
Something there is mysteriously formed,
Existing before Heaven and Earth,
Silent, still, standing alone, unchanging,
All-pervading, unfailing,
I do not know its name; I call it tao.
If forced to give it a name, I call it
Great (ta). Being great, it flows out;
Flowing out means far-reaching;
Being far-reaching, it is said to return.


It's just a shot away..


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InvisibleRepertoire89
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Registered: 11/15/12
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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: Bill_Oreilly]
    #19193172 - 11/26/13 05:26 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Bill_Oreilly said:

and yea repertoire, it was when I da shroomjezus




Well that makes sense then, strange days


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InvisibleBill_Oreilly
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Posts: 26,370
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Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: Repertoire89]
    #19193352 - 11/26/13 06:00 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

yessir bob, I feel like I needed those strange days to understand the point im at now, cool how life works like that, isn't it?


--------------------
Something there is mysteriously formed,
Existing before Heaven and Earth,
Silent, still, standing alone, unchanging,
All-pervading, unfailing,
I do not know its name; I call it tao.
If forced to give it a name, I call it
Great (ta). Being great, it flows out;
Flowing out means far-reaching;
Being far-reaching, it is said to return.


It's just a shot away..


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InvisibleRepertoire89
Cat
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Posts: 21,773
Re: What are some top awkward moments you've had? [Re: Bill_Oreilly]
    #19193485 - 11/26/13 06:29 PM (10 years, 2 months ago)

I'm 50/50 if a lot of my negative experiences were really necessary, but still happy with where I'm at so :shrug:


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