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Sgt. Pepper


Registered: 06/19/13
Posts: 2,538
Loc: Third Stone From The Sun
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Feelings during a bad trip
#19156250 - 11/18/13 07:05 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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So it's been almost 3 months since my train wreck of a mushroom trip on 5 grams and I'm still piecing it apart. Plain and simply, it may have been the most terrifying thing I have ever experienced in my entire life. I have thought about that night many times in the last few months and I still am having trouble understanding it. One of the most confusing aspects of it is the very feeling of it. There were visuals and one hell of a mindfuck, but it felt nothing like a normal mushroom trip. It was completely different and I'm having trouble explaining it. I guess I could try to put it into words by saying that during a mushroom trip, I could tell that anything strange was a result of the mushrooms and I definitely just felt high, so to speak; during my bad trip I felt like I was completely sober yet I had the most terrifying mindfuck. It is just so bizarre. So my question is, can any of you relate to this, the feeling of a bad trip being a totally different feeling than a good trip, like you are on something entirely different? Thanks everyone.
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incubis
Lighter


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Re: Feelings during a bad trip [Re: Sgt. Pepper]
#19156769 - 11/18/13 08:57 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Can't say I follow what you're saying... Did you store shrooms correctly and not gotten moldy or weird stuff mixed with shrooms?
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Sheekle
FREE BURKE



Registered: 01/11/10
Posts: 53,153
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Re: Feelings during a bad trip [Re: Sgt. Pepper]
#19156778 - 11/18/13 08:58 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
Sgt. Pepper said: So my question is, can any of you relate to this, the feeling of a bad trip being a totally different feeling than a good trip, like you are on something entirely different?
 lawl
its 0k
-------------------- "Ur cat died because he hated u" - Koods "I hope JSB kicks your ass one day." - Vandago "you are the biggest 'internet guy' I have ever come across"- Jokeshopbeard "The more I see you post the more I realize you're just this fuckin tie dye loser who trolls the Shroomery 24/7." - Herbologist "Sheekle you cannot vile the dice of bullshit you have posted on this forum over the years, I like databases" - thelastoneleft "or maybe i just come from a blood line of superior intelligence" - trees R.I.P Kelsy, ?/?/?? - 6/11/16
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Sgt. Pepper


Registered: 06/19/13
Posts: 2,538
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Re: Feelings during a bad trip [Re: Sheekle]
#19156939 - 11/18/13 09:23 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Yeah, they definitely weren't moldy or anything. My girlfriend had the same dose. And I'm fine now and all, I'll probably be getting back into psychedelics in the near future, I'm just trying to pick apart my trip and prevent it from happening again.
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m00ncalf
Funkrwiggly


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Re: Feelings during a bad trip [Re: Sgt. Pepper]
#19157126 - 11/18/13 09:58 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Hey man I know exactly how you feel. You'll feel better in time, trust me. Embrace what you went through and learn from it. You often end up getting the most from those kinds of experiences. When this happened to me I felt kind of shattered; just take it as an opportunity to put the pieces back together in a better way.
Focus on health. Sleep and eat well, exercise, meditate. If anything in particular came up in the trip then you should acknowledge and address it. It will take time to heal but as you do you'll learn things about yourself along the way that you might have otherwise missed. Everyone has their ups and downs in life, whether that's a bad trip or any number of other experiences. With mindfulness and optimism you'll get through yours with a new appreciation for the good.
When you decide to trip again you can make a lot of progress integrating and healing if you allow yourself to. Really open yourself up and it will flow in like medicine -- I've been there; I've cried tears of relief and felt the weight of the past slip away. You hear that story often about Ayahuasca but it was on mushrooms for me. Remember that all you can every experience is yourself, so there's nothing to be afraid of!
Good luck, brother
-------------------- “You’re involved in a mysterious engagement where every living moment presents you with mystery, opportunity, and wonder.” -Terence McKenna
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Kafei
Stranger

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Re: Feelings during a bad trip [Re: m00ncalf]
#19157880 - 11/19/13 12:55 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Anytime someone describes having a bad experience, I can't help but think that maybe this is the conflict that resides within an "ego death" experience. In other words, the ego clashing with the notion that it truly doesn't exist. I know there's many different takes on the "ego death" phenomenon. The most recent being the work of Dr. Robin Carhart-Harris done by injecting volunteers with psilocybin and measuring brain activity with fMRI. There is decreased activity in the DNS (default mode network) areas of the brain that Carhart-Harris theorizes to be essentially the functioning of ego.
There is also Michael Hoffman's "Entheogen theory of Ego Death" which he espouses at his website, "www.egodeath.com," which basically is the equilavent to a fatalism. That the revelation in the psychedelic expeirence is the revelation of a hard determinism, the notion which says that free will is an illusion. So, this "bad feeling" that one gets in the psychedelic experience is a kind of feeling of your own fatedness. So, if hard determinism is true, hard determinism being the idea, by metaphor, that the entire universe is like a movie burnt to a DVD, and the entire movie has already been burnt. So, any thoughts or actions aren't truly your actions, but the actions of the universe itself.
So, whatever the case may be, I believe that these "bad trips" or "bad feelings" that arise out of the psychedelic experience are ultimately a clash between your sense of ego and your intuition that the ego is illusory however defined. Terence McKenna once said of the DMT flash that the reason it’s so hard to bring anything out of the DMT flash is because at the center of the flash you find out something so unexpected, so appalling, and so existentially convincing in the moment of confronting it, that you simply immediately block it out and obliterate it. I agree with m00ncalf where he says that if you could accept the moment because ultimately whatever happens is "you," in a sense, then you could allay any "bad feelings." Because whatever it is that is so "antithetical to your humanness," as Terence would say, what if it it's just simply the way things have always been? So, why respond dysphorically when if would just go with the flow, you may have a better understanding of the experience.
Edited by Kafei (11/19/13 01:08 AM)
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Sketch Turner
Eco Warrior

Registered: 05/12/13
Posts: 2,291
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Re: Feelings during a bad trip [Re: Sgt. Pepper]
#19158192 - 11/19/13 03:42 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Many people here have probably had hard times on psychedelics, I have, and I've witnessed others have difficulties too. A true psychedelic experience is highly likely to challenge you on every level, it takes strength of character man, which you obviously have as you willingly ingested five grams of dried mushrooms. I don't know if I've ever had a true 'bad trip' experience, you hear of some cases that have similarities with the archetypal malevolent extra terrerestrial abduction phenomena, wherein users have the sensation of being experimented on, stabbed, implanted etc... I've never quite had those type of experiences but I've had some majorly rough times dealing with ego dissolution before, if you fight against the lessons you can end up in a real state, which can appear monstrous to fellow trippers who are having a gentle ride. It is for this reason that I now do these things alone and rarely, still, it is fun to have a mushroom party every so often, Its just a bit easier for me to 'let go' when I go solo as I'm not concerned with how I may seem to a bystander.
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zoom_zoom_shroom
Sub Seeker!!



Registered: 03/20/13
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Re: Feelings during a bad trip [Re: m00ncalf]
#19158308 - 11/19/13 04:42 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
m00ncalf said: Hey man I know exactly how you feel. You'll feel better in time, trust me. Embrace what you went through and learn from it. You often end up getting the most from those kinds of experiences. When this happened to me I felt kind of shattered; just take it as an opportunity to put the pieces back together in a better way.
Focus on health. Sleep and eat well, exercise, meditate. If anything in particular came up in the trip then you should acknowledge and address it. It will take time to heal but as you do you'll learn things about yourself along the way that you might have otherwise missed. Everyone has their ups and downs in life, whether that's a bad trip or any number of other experiences. With mindfulness and optimism you'll get through yours with a new appreciation for the good.
When you decide to trip again you can make a lot of progress integrating and healing if you allow yourself to. Really open yourself up and it will flow in like medicine -- I've been there; I've cried tears of relief and felt the weight of the past slip away. You hear that story often about Ayahuasca but it was on mushrooms for me. Remember that all you can every experience is yourself, so there's nothing to be afraid of!
Good luck, brother 
Wow, wonderfully written. Something I can definitely relate to! +1 for this advice.
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Deathcore
Stranger


Registered: 06/08/13
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so i am satan
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HostDisorder
Stranger


Registered: 07/27/12
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Re: Feelings during a bad trip [Re: Kafei]
#19159006 - 11/19/13 10:26 AM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
Kafei said: Anytime someone describes having a bad experience, I can't help but think that maybe this is the conflict that resides within an "ego death" experience. In other words, the ego clashing with the notion that it truly doesn't exist. I know there's many different takes on the "ego death" phenomenon. The most recent being the work of Dr. Robin Carhart-Harris done by injecting volunteers with psilocybin and measuring brain activity with fMRI. There is decreased activity in the DNS (default mode network) areas of the brain that Carhart-Harris theorizes to be essentially the functioning of ego.
There is also Michael Hoffman's "Entheogen theory of Ego Death" which he espouses at his website, "www.egodeath.com," which basically is the equilavent to a fatalism. That the revelation in the psychedelic expeirence is the revelation of a hard determinism, the notion which says that free will is an illusion. So, this "bad feeling" that one gets in the psychedelic experience is a kind of feeling of your own fatedness. So, if hard determinism is true, hard determinism being the idea, by metaphor, that the entire universe is like a movie burnt to a DVD, and the entire movie has already been burnt. So, any thoughts or actions aren't truly your actions, but the actions of the universe itself.
So, whatever the case may be, I believe that these "bad trips" or "bad feelings" that arise out of the psychedelic experience are ultimately a clash between your sense of ego and your intuition that the ego is illusory however defined. Terence McKenna once said of the DMT flash that the reason it’s so hard to bring anything out of the DMT flash is because at the center of the flash you find out something so unexpected, so appalling, and so existentially convincing in the moment of confronting it, that you simply immediately block it out and obliterate it. I agree with m00ncalf where he says that if you could accept the moment because ultimately whatever happens is "you," in a sense, then you could allay any "bad feelings." Because whatever it is that is so "antithetical to your humanness," as Terence would say, what if it it's just simply the way things have always been? So, why respond dysphorically when if would just go with the flow, you may have a better understanding of the experience.
This is a good post and I agree.
I think what is important to understand is that even when you've come to terms with the fact that bad trips are a result of a clinging ego, when you're actually In the trip, it doesn't matter how much you understand that notion, really, you will simply have to go through the confusion.
That particular headspace doesn't allow for rational thought, but I guess it's possible to eventually find it easier to let go.
When you take 5 grams, prior to taking, you should be wanting the confusion, wanting the ego battle, because its pretty unavoidable, and IMO, the whole point of the experience.
For me mushrooms are purely therapeutic, and any visuals are just secondary to that.
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Sgt. Pepper


Registered: 06/19/13
Posts: 2,538
Loc: Third Stone From The Sun
Last seen: 1 month, 23 days
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Thanks guys, this has been a very interesting conversation. Sorry I didn't make this clear, but I'm completely over the whole depression after a bad trip. The first week or two after was tough, but now I'm just trying to understand the experience. I have learned a lot from that trip and I have grown from it immensely. I just wanted to know if anyone else felt like they were on a totally different drug when they had a bad trip like mine. Again, thanks guy, you've been very helpful, as you always are.
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Jvells
Unity



Registered: 11/05/09
Posts: 3,031
Loc: East coast
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Re: Feelings during a bad trip [Re: Sgt. Pepper]
#19160627 - 11/19/13 04:53 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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Oh yeah man, definitely been there. That's the mushrooms way of making you a stronger person; if you can't handle a 5g dose yet, they'll train you practically by whooping your ass. I still have trouble keeping my composure sometimes with eating 5g but every time I feel like I'm definitely getting a better grip and learning from them.
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Sgt. Pepper


Registered: 06/19/13
Posts: 2,538
Loc: Third Stone From The Sun
Last seen: 1 month, 23 days
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Re: Feelings during a bad trip [Re: Jvells]
#19160714 - 11/19/13 05:09 PM (10 years, 2 months ago) |
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There is no doubt I wasn't ready. I kept it together for an hour or 2 but it got exponentially worse from there. I wound up peaking on my stairs completely naked, thinking I was possessed, and smashing my head into the walls. After that I became very destructive and broke a shit ton of stuff, thinking I was in the wrong reality, before coming down and having my girlfriend tell my that it was all real. I felt very stupid and I felt really bad for myself for a couple weeks, but I wound up growing from it. It's not a place I plan to go back to any time soon, but it is something I will never forget and it is an experience that I've grown from. It really put my life in perspective for me and I may even go as far as to say I'm glad it happened.
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